He wanted to retire early and just run tourist stuff in Sterling by forty. Telling them that would be welcome but would they believe it? They were all in it together. But Ross and Tony were paying on the house. Matt crashed there and ate their food. They should resent him.
Gretchen probably had a 401k or IRA, something from her day job. Now her life would be different, and things cost a lot more. Hunting only brought in meat, and trading had to be mutually beneficial. Money was worth the sacrifice. Being here, he could let them down. In Anchorage, he could run his life by his mother and maybe find a gift for Gretchen.
Whether he’d bring back the gift or send it back…he wasn’t sure yet.
Chapter Nine
Matt opened the door to one of the nicer Anchorage restaurants in the midst of the dinner crowd. The scent of garlic and other spices greeted them. Being around his mom made Matt feel like a disappointment. She never made it seem that way, but he was divorced and puttering around in life. Mom loved kids and had lived for her family.
After he’d arrived and given in to a homemade breakfast, he’d taken off on a bunch of errands all day, but she had to go into work for part of the day anyway. He should’ve called or texted her that he was coming before he left but he wasn’t in the habit.
“Why did you take an office job? Dad set you up pretty well,” Matt said as they sat in a back booth. The seafood place had low lighting, but big decorative fish mounted against pictures of the coast looked down at them.
She shrugged and reviewed the menus. “The job keeps me busy and gives me benefits. It’s office work, nothing too hard. After raising kids it’s a breeze. The girls will miss me at bingo tonight, but I’ll see them at dance class next week.”
When the waiter arrived, they both ordered the fish special and dug into the basket of warm bread. Their drinks arrived quickly, and Matt was glad they’d have some time to talk without interruption. She didn’t look much older, but Matt felt like he was compared to their last visit.
“I’m glad you’re not lonely here.” Matt wanted to order a beer, but it wasn’t the time.
“Not lonely, no. But I wish your father were here to enjoy it with me. All that hard work, and he never got to enjoy it.” She took a drink of her soda.
“It’s the smoking and drinking that gave him a heart attack young,” Matt said.
“I know, but I never realized until he died why he did it. Other men worked and saw their families more. They were just as well off as we were. We had what we needed but were never rich. He told me he was saving for retirement, but I had no idea how much he was socking away.” She shook her head.
Matt remembered the shock of his father’s finances when he passed. His mother had been so heartbroken that they didn’t trouble her with the details. Since then, she hadn’t really discussed it much. “You really had no idea he had so much put away?”
“If I did, I’d have made him take a year off and spend it with us. I had what I wanted, a family. We had what we needed to live, so I didn’t worry beyond that. He was a hard worker, just like you. I thought he needed to be away to make enough money and put a little aside. After years of it, I was convinced he preferred the drinking and freedom. When I saw the money, I knew he just wanted to take care of us. It was touching but too late to enjoy it with him. He didn’t take care of himself just like you don’t.” She bit into her bread and chewed.
His appetite disappeared as the reality set in. His parents had sacrificed so much and he’d resented them for the lack of time. His dad wasn’t perfect; he’d learned that long ago, but his mom had been clueless. She’d let it happen without demanding information.
Any lingering negative feelings toward his parents vanished. Whatever their relationship dynamic was, Dad provided for them, and Mom wanted her husband back. They’d done their best and Matt was following some of his father’s pattern.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to take you out for a nice dinner not dredge up the past. Mom, I promise, I’m not drinking like Dad. Not every day and one or two beers at most. I’ve never smoked and don’t drink hard liquor. Family is a responsibility. He supported us. The bigger the family, the bigger the obligation.” Matt wanted to make sure his family was safe in the future.
“If you don’t enjoy it, what are you working for? I didn’t want to be an obligation. We had everything we needed. He could’ve eased off a bit on the savings and spent more time at home. The ice road was one thing, but he could’ve hunted and fished the summers with you. He didn’t need to go off on the boats every day for long hours.”
“I would’ve liked that,” Matt said.
“I know he was right to save some. The body starts to wear out with age, and it’s not as easy to hunt and hike. Balance is the key and it wasn’t your father’s strength. I had hoped you’d be different but you’re still wandering.” She sat back as their dinners arrived.
“You’re not the only one who doesn’t like that I move around for work. I keep going back to Sterling and the guys. There’s a woman now, Gretchen. That part of my life is falling into place, but they don’t like my not being around either. It’s so complicated. I don’t want to hurt them.” Matt attacked his dinner with knife and fork.
“Then maybe it’s time you stopped hopping around chasing the money. A good pilot can find work in Alaska. You don’t need to do long hauls or work year-round either. Flying tours are big business in the south.” She ate calmly.
“Plus taking hunters to good spots. If I wanted to get more traditional there are rescue operations and medical transport jobs too. Taking care of four people is a lot of work. A bigger family costs more.” Matt had wanted more time with his father but understood why he’d done it. With a wife and several daughters, Dad wanted them set just in case.
Mom set her flatware down. “Four adults earning money? Sharing a house and expenses?”
“I know it’s not traditional.” He wasn’t from Sterling, and some of Matt’s sisters thought it was weird.
“No, but I like the idea. Your father didn’t like it when I’d work. He wanted me there for you kids. Spreading the responsibility over four people should take pressure off of you, not put more on. You aren’t the only one who can make money or take care of them. You’re not as old-fashioned as your father. Even if Gretchen stays home with the kids while they’re small—you still have two other men working as well. Plus you’re a good hunter. You can always feed your family.” She stared him in the eye.
“I know, and I haven’t spent the money Dad left me. That’s the nest egg. I don’t want to resent them either,” Matt blurted out.
“Resent them?” She folded her arms. “I thought you loved them.”
“I do. I also like flying around and helping people. We lived in a remote town. Lack of supplies can really cause stress. Things go wrong. Life is unpredictable here. There are a lot of pilots, but I know I can do it and that those people need that cargo.” Matt knew settling in Sterling was the right thing now.
“Have you talked to your group about this?” she asked.
Matt shook his head.
“The worst part of it all was your father didn’t trust me. I don’t know if he thought I’d spend the money shopping or what but that was wrong of him. He didn’t treat me like a partner. As much as I loved him, I deserved to know we were more financially secure. Don’t assume your family won’t understand or appreciate you. Tell them the whole truth and work out a solution together. Secrets or lies will only hurt things. You’ll keep flying off to avoid the tension. Then maybe you’ll start drinking more than socially to numb the pain. I want grandchildren, not to bury my son.” She wagged a fork in his direction.
“I’m not going to die on you,” he said.
“All that drinking and smoking—he was filling the void of family with toxic crap to keep him working. That money isn’t what I wanted for my retirement. I wanted him to slow down and have time for me, his children, and grandchildren. He missed out on all of it. Don’t you miss out
on life for work,” she said.
That motherly tone cut through Matt. He nodded.
“I know you love flying. I’m glad you have something you enjoy for a career but base that in a location that is best for your family. Work is a part of life. However, life revolves around love not work. Do you love your plane more than the people you’re earning that money for?” she asked.
“No,” he said sternly. He did have affection for his plane but would set it on fire before seeing Tony, Ross, or Gretchen hurt. But he was always thinking of the physical and not the emotional harm.
His mom smiled. “Good. Then you’ll bring this Gretchen up to meet me soon. If she’s the one, you three won’t drag your feet. A nice wedding and get started on those children sooner rather than later is the best way to handle it. Make Sterling your home. It’s not a bad drive. I can visit now and then.”
“Sure. You can move down if you want. I don’t want you to feel alone.” The wedding talk made Matt a little nervous, but it didn’t terrify him. It felt right, like he had a future with a plan rather than being a leaf blowing in the wind.
She laughed. “No, thank you. That’s sweet, but I like Anchorage. The older I get, the more at ease I feel with a big city around me. I don’t sit home every night alone. I have friends and clubs that I belong to. My job keeps me active and it feels good to make my own money.”
“I’m glad. But you’re welcome to come and spend the summers by the sea if you want. I bet grandchildren would change your tune.” He grinned. His mother had found her independence, but she loved kids too.
“You’ll just have to have some children, and we’ll find out.” She shrugged and grabbed the dessert menu. “I feel like something chocolaty.”
“Anything you want, Mom. This little talk was very helpful,” he said.
“Good. Next time you’ll text me before you show up out of the blue. Settling down a bit will be good for you.” As she perused the sugary options, Matt spotted a familiar face.
It was another pilot who’d always talked about moving south and starting up a business. Matt wiped his mouth with a napkin and slid from the booth.
“Excuse me a minute, Mom. I see an old friend that I need to say hi to,” he said.
“Sure. I can’t decide between these two, so I’ll order one for either of us.” She glanced around for their waiter as Matt seized an opportunity.
Doubts and second thoughts were history. Matt knew what he had to do now. He took this other pilot’s presence as a sign of the change he needed to make first to prove to his group he was serious.
* * * *
“He just left?” Mel asked as she primped Gretchen in her bridesmaid dress.
Tony shuffled there in his tux. “It’s Matt.”
“I sent him an e-mail. He left us info on individual bank accounts he has with PODs on us. Even me.” Gretchen knew Matt had deeper issues going on but that was odd.
“Pay on delivery?” Bethany asked as she flicked Tony’s hair to give him a boyish tease. “They’re ready.”
“Pay on death,” Gretchen corrected her friend.
The photographer took pictures with the lush beach as a background.
“Why me?” Tony asked.
“You’re the handsomest and the fittest of her men. Don’t tell the others,” Bethany said.
Gretchen nodded at her friend. “I’d never pick one over another. But Matt isn’t here. Ross is the mayor.”
“Process of elimination,” Tony said
“No, you look good in a tux. Then we’ll get the photographer to get a picture of you in your work uniform another day. And maybe something else. It’s promotional. For Mel and your brother.” Gretchen beamed. Her idea was genius and not nearly as expensive as diving deep into destination weddings just yet.
“My brother better be in this calendar too,” Tony said trying to hide his smile.
Mel laughed. “He is. Don’t worry. Then Isa and both her coast guard hunks. Bethany and a very willing Alaska State Trooper. Right, Tiff?”
Tiff consulted her clipboard. “Yep, we’re on schedule. The other eight are done.”
“I didn’t realize you were so interested in fashion or tourism,” Tony said to Tiff.
She shrugged. “I can help out. I’m not in any of the pictures.”
Bethany rolled her eyes. “But you could be! My offer stands: free consultation whenever you want it. A little makeup, a flat iron, the right dress and heels—you’ll have a six-pack of hotties in your bed.”
Tiff’s cheeks burned red, and Gretchen couldn’t help but smile. She and her friends weren’t shy. They had a habit of butting in. While they were newer residents of Sterling, they weren’t going to sit on the sidelines.
“Maybe we should send her to drag Matt back here,” Tony said.
“He keeps texting us. I don’t understand him. The money doesn’t matter. We can all provide for ourselves,” Gretchen said.
The photographer posed them and snapped more pictures.
“Actually, his father left him a chunk. And his sisters. His mom got half and the kids split the other half. He died young. Worked himself to death,” Tony said.
“So Matt is following the example he resents. Men,” Mel said.
“Maybe he feels like a failure if he can’t provide for his family the same way,” Tiff said.
“But they don’t have kids. It’s not the same thing.” Bethany pulled Tiff’s braid loose and played with the hair the way only a beautician would.
Tiff laughed but batted Bethany’s hands away. “You don’t know men as well as you think you do. I grew up with nothing but egos and competition. Matt doesn’t want to die young, but he wants to earn enough so he can stop worrying and enjoy life before it’s over. A group relationship is bigger, more expensive. He’s working hard to save up. Why else would he leave you the bank info? And he’s still texting. Men don’t always say things. You have to read their actions. He’s not cutting off contact. You can get a hold of him if you need to.”
“She’s right,” Tony said.
“Duh. He’s trying to earn enough so he can enjoy life without feeling like he’s freeloading in your house. Tony and Ross have defined jobs with clear paychecks and benefits. Matt has less security, so he’s trying harder.”
“You’re a genius,” Gretchen said.
Tiff shrugged. “It won’t change anything. He won’t stop until he’s achieved his goal. Whatever number is in his head. You can’t change him. Trust me, I tried to change my brothers plenty.”
“You should have men kissing your feet,” Bethany said.
“No, because I never changed to please them. They won’t change for me, so what’s the point?” Tiff headed off to find the next guy forced into a tux.
Gretchen felt great about the free promotional item she’d come up with. It brought together the pictures of the dresses, the app code, and her potential wedding package participants through an advertising opportunity. A calendar. She’d found a place in Anchorage that would print them up in bulk and mail them out from there. It wasn’t cheap, but it was much easier to get places in Sterling and Homer to buy small ads in something like that. The models were even easier. The women got a little free fame in the calendar, professional makeup, and photos with their man.
Also Tony got a lot of attention, which is what he needed. She didn’t want to call him on it, but Tony’s ego had been suffering. Ross was the mayor, an important job which got him respect and attention. Matt was the pain who had issues that rippled through the group. That rubbed Tony wrong. At least with Tony, she could fix things with a little attention. She’d told Ross and he agreed. But Tony always had Ross’s attention, so they had to be careful about overdoing it. A little more of their time and Tony wasn’t complaining at all…except about the tux.
“You’re done,” Mel said.
“Thank God. When are they doing the shoot at work?” he asked.
“Don’t worry about that. We’re going for candid shots. No prep or
special lighting or anything. There will be one more but that’s a surprise for next week.” The photographer smiled at Gretchen.
“What?” Tony directed his question at Gretchen.
“We need to show off the clothes. But women really decide where to have a wedding. If we show off the hunky men of Sterling, it can’t hurt.” She smiled. “Let’s get changed and go enjoy the fest.”
“Don’t they need you here? This is your brainchild,” Tony said as he pulled off his tie.
“No, we’ve got this,” Tiff said.
“Thanks, see. Tiff is a huge help.” Gretchen had to admit she’d been a little obsessed with her work as well. It was important but couldn’t all be done in one day or one summer. She needed to spend time with all her guys. This was the relationship she wanted. She loved them.
Tony headed off to change and Gretchen went into her changing space with Tiff, Mel, and Bethany helping.
“You’ve got him in better spirits,” Tiff said.
“His issue I can handle. I love them all but this many men…it’s wild.” Gretchen shook her head.
Bethany adjusted Gretchen’s hair to a less formal style. “That’s good.”
“The sex is great, but outside of bed they’re a handful too. Tony at least is straightforward. He’s the rock who needs more appreciation at times. Matt’s the squeaky wheel getting all the attention. Not that he’s complaining, but he comes and goes, which forces everyone else to adjust around his schedule. Ross is reliable, but being mayor, he gets attention elsewhere. It’s fine. Matt and this money thing.” Gretchen shook her head.
Mel carefully slid the dress into the bag. “Tiff is right, you can’t change men. Take them as is.”
“I would if he’d stick around.” Gretchen shrugged.
“You need to sit on him,” Tiff said.
The other three women stopped and looked at Tiff.
“Excuse me?” Gretchen said.
“Seriously. Sit him down, make him stay, and lay down the law. Give him parameters. Clearly state what you want. What you can all live with. Then no one can bitch about it if he’s gone one week out of the month for work. He might counter he needs to see family; you said he’s up seeing his mother—right?”
Men of Alaska 2: Sterling Sunshine Page 9