by Susan Lewis
‘What about them?’
‘Are they doing it of their own free will?’
‘Of course they are. If they didn’t want to do it they’d be in other jobs, jobs that I’d help to find if necessary, or they’d be back in their own countries. They might even be working at one of three centres I’ve opened in Latvia, Lithuania and Belarus to provide refuge for vulnerable young people. The only condition I put on those who don’t want to continue with me is that they don’t ever contact anyone who stays. I don’t want to destroy the image I’ve created of myself. They need to be afraid or they won’t understand that they could ruin everything. So tell me, is this helping your troubled sensibilities? Are you feeling better about me now that I’ve confessed I’m not as evil as Kate Trask?’
Andee could only look at her. Her way of thinking, reasoning, even feeling was so tortured, so completely beyond fathoming that Andee knew it would be pointless even to try.
‘Someone just texted you,’ Penny told her.
Andee read the message from her mother and got to her feet. ‘Before I leave,’ she said, ‘I have one more question for you. What happened to Sven’s wife, Ana?’
Penny blinked in surprise, then standing up too, she said accusingly, ‘You think I caused the accident that killed her.’
‘Did you?’
‘What if I said yes?’
‘Would it be true?’
‘It happened just the way I’m presuming you were told. She’d been warned plenty of times about reversing her wheelchair into the lift, but she would do things her way. Then one day, just as everyone feared, she reversed in without checking. The lift wasn’t there and she plunged to her death. I was in Riga at the time.’
Andee stared at her, not sure what to say.
‘It’s easily checked,’ Penny told her.
In silence, Andee started to the door.
Penny said, ‘Are you going away feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t have the sister you’ve always dreamt about?’
Andee turned round. ‘It’s you I feel sorry for,’ she said, ‘because you’ve lost sight of who you are and what means anything to you.’
Penny’s lip curled.
‘What you do know,’ Andee continued, ‘even if you don’t want to admit it, is that you’ve made some terrible mistakes in your life and they started when you were fourteen years old,’ and with a tender, sad smile she left.
Chapter Eighteen
On returning to her car Andee peeled the parking ticket from the windscreen and got into the driver’s seat, oblivious to the sudden gusts sweeping the bay. Instead of returning to the hospital right away she remained where she was, her head resting on the steering wheel as she tried to process what felt like the most bizarre and difficult encounter she’d ever had.
She realised only too well that hard drugs had played a major part in distorting Penny’s already irrational young mind, but knowing that didn’t change how damaged it still was. The way Penny perceived the world and herself was as normal to her as it was crazy and upsetting to Andee. Even the good she was trying to do was being carried out in a convoluted and highly dubious way – this was presuming she’d told Andee the truth, and Andee was ready to believe that she had.
In fact, the more she thought about it, the more convinced she was becoming that Penny had been wanting to talk to someone for a very long time. She might claim that she had no interest in what people thought of her, but she did care what Andee thought, and realising that was making Andee want to cry.
Her sister, for all that she might deserve it, was quite possibly the loneliest and saddest person Andee had ever known. She might have been awkward and difficult when she was young, but by now she was so damaged by all that had happened to her that she had no proper sense of what was right or wrong, or even of who she really was any more. The way she’d shown signs of coming apart today, the guarded restlessness, the constantly changing moods, and cry for help that she hadn’t even realised she was uttering, spoke more clearly than anything of how tormented she was inside.
For Andee, it was almost impossible to know how to go forward from here. What could she do to help Penny, or at least make her believe that she mattered and always had? Her defences were a solid wall of lies and delusions; her feelings were so deeply buried they might never be found.
Deciding she needed to speak to Sven, Andee gave herself no time to think it through, but simply connected to his number. There was no reply from either him or Selma. It didn’t matter; with just these few seconds’ grace she realised this wasn’t a conversation to be had by phone.
Letting her head fall back against the seat, she closed her eyes and thought of how much she’d like to speak to Graeme right now. He might not have the answers, but he was such a good listener that things always seemed clearer after she’d discussed them with him. But it didn’t feel like an option when she was having doubts about his relationship with Nadia. She’d have to confront them at some point, but right now she couldn’t make herself and her feelings a priority.
Starting the engine, she turned the car around and drove back up the hill to the hospital. She was asking herself if she should have told Penny before she left that she was a grandmother now. Would it have meant anything to her? Or would she simply have continued to see the infant as belonging to the people who’d signed a contract they fully expected to be honoured?
Realising she needed some answers sooner rather than later, Andee put in a call to Helen Hall to find out what she’d learned so far. Then, remembering she’d left Gould at the hotel she rang to let him know where she was and, more importantly, that the baby was now in the world.
A while later Andee was holding the tiny newborn in her arms, wanting to bury herself in his irresistible baby smell and innocence. His eyes came wide and startled before closing again; his mouth was puckered and red. Where am I? he seemed to be saying. What just happened?
As she held him she felt herself understanding, far more than she had before, just how devastating it would be for the American couple to lose him. They probably didn’t even know he’d been born yet; were no doubt even now waiting by the phone, more terrified than excited to hear the news.
However, how could she not support Jonathan and Juliette’s need to keep him? He was theirs in every way. They had made him, he carried their genes and, like any other baby born to loving parents, he deserved to spend his life with them. Even if the Americans were rich beyond belief, could give him everything he could ever wish for and love him as deeply as he deserved, one day he would want to know his real parents, and how would he feel on learning that the law had forced them to give him up?
Still inhaling the intoxicating scent of him and remembering when her own children had been born, Andee felt her mother’s hand on her arm and realised she was crying.
‘It’s because I’m happy for you,’ she told a worried-looking Jonathan and Juliette. ‘He’s part of my family,’ she reminded them, ‘and he’s so beautiful and sleepy and big.’
Coming to take him, Jonathan said softly, ‘I want you to know that we won’t give him up, not for anything. I don’t care what the law says …’
‘Sssh,’ Andee soothed, seeing tears of anger and defiance in his eyes. ‘Don’t let’s worry about that now. All that matters is that he’s with us, we already love him and we’re going to do everything we can to keep him.’
Jonathan was shaking his head. ‘You don’t understand,’ he said. ‘We are going to keep him. It’s not about trying, or fighting, or going through courts of law. He is my son. I am his father, Juliette is his mother and no piece of paper in the world is going to separate us.’
Admiring his passion, and desperately hoping he was right, Andee watched him go to sit with a drowsy Juliette and felt her heart overflowing in the way she knew it would the day she saw Luke or Alayna’s newborn baby. Jonathan and Juliette still seemed so tenderly young, and nervous, but they were parents now, proud, overwhelmed, needing the support of th
eir families, but determined to be everything to their son. That was what he deserved. Only hours old and already he was surrounded by his mother, father, great-aunt, great-grandma, and two grandparents on the way. He was going to know the richness of being Italian, British and Swedish; he’d no doubt speak all three languages, but most importantly of all he’d be where he belonged.
Meeting Jonathan’s eyes, Andee felt her heart buckling with the sorrow of Penny not being a part of this. She had no idea if it might help to heal her, or at least make her see things differently, but as the baby’s grandmother she deserved to know he was in the world.
How tragic it was that they’d then have to do everything they could to protect him from her.
By late the following morning Jonathan and Juliette had taken the baby to the coach house at the edge of the moor, and Juliette’s startled parents had arrived from their village home in Piedmont. Apparently they’d had no idea their daughter was even pregnant until the call had come to tell them they were grandparents. They’d believed that Juliette was spending a year in London and the US learning English, before returning to continue her studies at the university in Turin. They’d now been informed, to their horror and despair, that their daughter had accepted Penny’s offer of becoming a surrogate mother because her parents’ bakery business had failed. She couldn’t, she said, allow them to spend every last penny of their savings to give her the education they’d never had.
Though it wasn’t possible for Andee to know exactly how they felt about their daughter’s decision or the unexpected addition to their family, it was plain from the moment they arrived that they adored Juliette, and they couldn’t have been more eager to hold and marvel over a baby that had come as a total surprise to them. They’d already decided that they must take this little family back to Italy, where they could help with the baby while Juliette continued her studies and Jonathan found work nearby. Exactly what kind of work was apparently to be discussed at a later date, but it was clear from the wryness of Jonathan’s tone as he translated for Andee and Maureen that he was more than happy to go along with the plans. What no one had yet confessed to was the possible lawsuit that would very likely prevent the baby going anywhere.
She’d left them half an hour ago, with her mother and Jenny preparing to go and stock up at the supermarket while she took the same circuitous route she’d used to get there (just in case she was being followed) to go back into town where she was due to meet with the lawyer, Helen Hall.
‘As you know, this isn’t my area of expertise,’ Helen told her as they settled down with coffees in Helen’s office. She was a slight woman, a few years older than Andee, with unruly flame hair and porcelain skin. She was also the closest Andee had to a good friend outside her family. ‘So I’ve been in touch with Henry Gibbs whose speciality is family law. He should be here any minute.’
‘Have you already briefed him?’ Andee asked.
‘In so far as I could, but obviously you’ll be able to explain better than I can. Ah, here he is,’ and she got to her feet as the door opened for her secretary to show in a short, wiry man with spiky grey hair, endearingly rosy cheeks and red-rimmed spectacles. He was wearing a jaunty bow tie and baggy blue suit that made him look rather more like a clown than a lawyer.
‘Sorry,’ he said, shaking Andee’s hand, ‘dressed for the next client who’s four and a half and afraid of men, so I’m trying to play up the unscary look. Trouble is, I don’t think clowns are quite doing it these days.’
‘I think you’ll be fine,’ Andee told him drily. ‘It’s good to meet you.’
After embracing Helen, he accepted a coffee and with a quick glance at his watch came straight to the point. ‘Personally, I’ve never had to deal with surrogacy,’ he said frankly, ‘but I’ve spoken to a colleague in London, Jhanvi Best, who’s had some experience, mostly in India, and she’s willing to take a look at it for us. To get things started she’s asked me to find out a few facts from you, such as which US state the contract was drawn up in. Do you have a copy of it? Who is acting for the intended parents in this country? And have social services been notified yet?’
Inwardly flinching at the mention of social services, Andee said, ‘I’m pretty sure the contract was drawn up in Texas, but I’ll check. No, I don’t have a copy of it, but I’ll try to get one. I’ll also find out who’s acting for the intended parents over here, and no to the question about social services. If possible we’d like to keep them out of it for as long as we can.’
He nodded his understanding. ‘I’m afraid the instant it goes before a judge, probably even before that, they’ll have to know, but for now we’ll keep it to ourselves.’
‘How soon can you get the information?’ Helen asked Andee. ‘I’d imagine the sooner the better?’ She glanced at Henry for confirmation.
‘Indeed,’ he agreed. ‘I’ll give you my card. You can call me any time. If I’m with a client or in court I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m free. Can I ask where the baby is now?’
‘With its birth parents and their families,’ Andee replied.
‘That’s good. I should think having a good support network of blood relatives will help, but I don’t want to give any false hope because Americans can be pretty tenacious, not to say ferocious, when fighting for their rights.’
‘As can we,’ Andee informed him.
Clearly liking the response, Henry finished his coffee and got to his feet. ‘I’m sorry this was rushed,’ he said, shaking her hand again, ‘but I thought it better for us to meet in person rather than talk on the phone. As soon as you can get the information to me I’ll pass it along and we’ll decide what needs to be done next.’
‘Of course it all depends on the intended parents filing a lawsuit,’ Helen pointed out, gently anchoring them.
Appreciating the reminder, for everything seemed to be going so fast, Andee turned back to Henry as he said, ‘Do you think there’s a chance they won’t?’
Wishing she could give him some hope of that, Andee said, ‘I wouldn’t bet on it. They don’t know yet that he’s been born, but we can’t keep it from them very much longer.’
‘No,’ he confirmed, ‘you really can’t. If you don’t own up to the birth it could be read as the parents planning to abscond. I hope they’re not, by the way, because they’ll be found eventually and running from this won’t help their case at all.’
Ten minutes later, with those words still echoing in her ears, Andee was driving through town when Penny finally called her back. ‘Where are you?’ Andee immediately asked.
‘Still at the Grand, where I’ll be staying until you go elsewhere.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, Jonathan and Juliette must be around here somewhere or you wouldn’t be. If you move them, I’m guessing you’ll go with them, so I’ll follow.’
‘Penny, this is crazy. They could be anywhere. I don’t have to be with them …’ Realising there was no point in pursuing that, she said, ‘We need to talk.’
‘Again?’
‘Yes, again. I’m not far away. I’ll come to the hotel.’
‘No, don’t do that. I’m busy today trying to save everything my son and his girlfriend are so selfishly destroying. Do you have any idea what it’s like dealing with American lawyers? No, of course you don’t, well let me tell you it’s nothing short of hell, and if they carry out their threats I’ll be completely ruined. Everything will be over, the surrogacy, the clinics, the refuges, everything I’ve spent half my life creating. My lawyer’s here, so please don’t come, we have a lot to do.’
‘OK, then email me a copy of the contract Jonathan and Juliette signed so I …’
‘Why? What do you want it for?’
‘What do you think? Jonathan and Juliette are going to fight for their baby. You already know that …’
‘You have to talk them out of it.’
‘I don’t have to do anything, but you need to know that the baby’s been born. They’re calling
him Alexander in honour of Jonathan’s brother, your other twin.’
Penny was silent, and Andee immediately regretted the way she’d broken the news.
‘Congratulations,’ she said softly. ‘You’re a grandmother.’
‘For God’s sake, this isn’t about me being a grandmother,’ Penny cried frantically. ‘You need to tell me where they are. If you won’t talk sense to them then I have to …’
‘I’m not letting you anywhere near them until this lawsuit is made to go away.’
‘There’s no point trying to blackmail me when it’s not in my hands. The Blakemores want the child they’ve prepared and paid for …’
‘The other thing I need from you,’ Andee interrupted, ‘is the name of the lawyer they’ve hired to handle things over here. Please put it in the email you send with the contract,’ and before Penny could protest any further she ended the call.
It wasn’t until she was talking to Gould a few minutes later that she realised her big mistake. Now that Penny knew the baby had arrived it was highly likely she, or more probably the American lawyers, would contact social services with a request that they remove him from his parents to prevent them from disappearing with him. Or from harming him in some way? God only knew what they’d tell the authorities in order to get Alexander away from Jonathan and Juliette.
‘And when they know he’s in care,’ she told her mother later that evening, ‘they’ll begin the most vicious attack on Jonathan and Juliette’s characters to try and prove they are unfit parents.’
Maureen looked both aghast and exhausted. ‘We have to talk to Penny,’ she said. ‘Make her see sense. This baby is her flesh and blood …’
‘I don’t think that matters to her in the way it does to us.’
‘Then we have to make it matter.’
Wishing it were as easily done as said, Andee went to let Blake and Jenny into the kitchen with the Chinese takeaway they’d ordered to save anyone having to cook. It was often hard for her to look at Blake and not think of Graeme, and as she did so now, for the first time in a few days Graeme rang.