“Then take it,” I shot back. “What’s stopping you?”
He froze, nostrils flaring, and stared me down. It was then that I realized what was stopping him: me. I was the thing that had stopped him from leaving, and I was the reason that he might get killed. And that was unacceptable. “Oh my God.”
He ignored me. “Why are you being so bullheaded stubborn? You were already attacked once by complete strangers; you’re an even bigger target now that people think you mean something to me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not leaving. There’s no reason for me to leave. Chris didn’t believe me when I said we had a relationship. I’m sure your brother will just think I’m the flavor of the week, too.” I crossed my arms. “You’re the one in danger—not me. Me abandoning my life won’t do anything, certainly not save you. You need to take the money and go. I’ll be fine. Your fight has nothing to do with me.”
He stilled. “The hell it doesn’t.” Lucas kicked the envelope to the side as he took a step closer. “And I didn’t ask you to save me.”
“You didn’t need to ask,” I shot back, retreating. I couldn’t think clearly when he was within touching distance. “Neither did I.”
He flushed. “Scotty bought off Bitter Hill. He’ll use them to kill me and then they’ll come after you. They tagged my building, Heidi. It’s not safe here.” He stalked toward me, and I forced myself to stand my ground. “They’ll finish what they started the other night, and then, if you’re lucky, they’ll kill you.”
My heart raced, but I ignored it. My fight-or-flight instinct might have kicked in with his words, like he hoped, but he underestimated me. I wasn’t a flight type of girl anymore—I’d stand my ground. “And if I’m not lucky?”
“They’ll keep you. Or sell you.” He pressed his mouth into a thin hard line again. “And you’ll wish you were dead.”
I forced myself to shrug. “On the streets . . . people have tried to cage me before. I’m not scared of them.”
“I am,” he admitted. He pressed close to me. Gently, he cupped my cheek. His words, though, vibrated with anger and frustration, and so much more. “Not for myself, but for you. I don’t want you to get caught in the cross fire. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when, and I could be in a position where I can’t protect you anymore. You could get hurt. And that’s not acceptable to me. That’s why I need you to take my escape, Heidi. I need you to run.”
It was then that I realized the enormity of his actions. It was then, also, that I realized that the fact that he was willing to give me his escape—to selflessly risk his own life for mine, time and time again—didn’t just make me grateful or anything like that. His actions, and the way he put me first all the time, made me . . . made me . . .
Love him.
Yeah. I loved him, like the idiot I’d sworn I wasn’t.
Despite the fact that I knew he would never feel the same, I loved him. Completely, utterly, loved him. And he would break my heart in the end if I let him. And, God, I was going to let him.
I was going to give him my heart on a silver platter.
Resting my hands on his chest, I knew that this was one of those moments that defined your existence, a moment where two roads forked out in front of you. One was the path you’d choose, and one held the future unchosen. A lifetime worth of people you’d never meet, events that would never happen, emotions that you’d never feel.
But I was confident in my choice.
Digging my nails into his shirt, I shook my head once. “I’m not leaving you, Lucas. I refuse to run unless I’m running with you. And if you don’t want to run with me . . . then we fight. Together.”
He let out a strangled sound and rested his forehead on mine, closing his eyes. “Damn it, sweetheart. You have to go.”
“I’m. Not. Going.” Reaching up, I slid my hand behind his neck. Slowly, he lifted his head and stared down at me, his gaze haunted and glowing with something I couldn’t pinpoint. “I’m staying with you. I choose you.”
His hands slid down my sides, resting on my waist. He didn’t pull me closer, but he didn’t push me away, either. The way he looked down at me, all heat and passion, sent a coil of heat ripping through my veins. The tension between us had been tugging at me from the first moment we met, pulling me closer to him. We barely knew each other, but I was done resisting. Done fighting. I’d take Lucas as he was, bloodstains and all. He might not consider himself a “good” man, but I knew better. Now he was my man.
And I loved him.
Even though I knew he didn’t love me.
“Heidi . . .” he murmured, his tone laced with want and pure sex.
It was stupid, and I knew I’d probably regret it when this was all said and done, but I wanted to have him. Soon enough, this would all be over. If we managed to survive this mess, I’d be alone in my bar again, and Lucas would go back to doing whatever it was he was doing before I crashed into his life. So this one time . . . for once in my life . . . I knowingly chose to be stupid. I decided to take something I wanted, despite the consequences, and to live in the moment.
No fear. No doubts.
Just us.
As if he could feel the pull, too, the little space left between us shrank further as his arms tightened around me. He was so close, I could feel his breath mixing with mine. My heart pounding, I lifted my chin. And I said the words he’d told me I’d say, long ago. Although . . . I guess it hadn’t been all that long ago, in reality. It felt like aeons, but it had only been days. “I’m going to say it. Those three little words you love to hear . . .”
He stiffened but didn’t move away. “Don’t. Once you do, there’s no going back. You know it, and so do I. There’s still time to—”
Any rational person would tell me it was way too soon for this, but I’d never been one to play it safe. “I don’t want to go back.”
“Jesus.” His gaze fell to my mouth. “Heidi . . .”
Heat curled through my body as I prepared to leap, hoping to God he’d catch me before I fell, and I licked my lips. “You were right.”
“Damn you,” he growled.
I rose onto my tiptoes, but his mouth was still out of my reach. “I want you, Lucas. I want you so bad.”
Before I could blink, his lips were on mine. This time felt different from the others. This time, something snapped inside of him, and he growled low in his throat, and it felt . . . real. I stumbled backward, our mouths fused together and our bodies straining against each other. The road I’d chosen was revealed, and I liked what I saw.
My back hit the wall, and his hands were everywhere.
CHAPTER 15
LUCAS
Honestly, I never really expected it to happen. I was an ex-con weapons smuggler with a bounty on my head. Heidi should have taken the money and run. There was nearly forty thousand dollars in that envelope lying somewhere on my kitchen floor. But what did the fool woman do instead?
She chose me.
If I were a decent man, I wouldn’t be kissing her right now. I’d be saying whatever it took to make her leave me behind. I’d briefly considered arranging for Chris to “relocate” her, but I knew Heidi was stubborn enough to turn around and wade right back into this shitfest. With no other options left, I decided to hold on for the ride.
With her soft body pressed against mine in all the right places.
Breaking off the kiss, I took a big breath, my chest heaving. “You’re being a damn fool,” I rasped, my voice way too raw for my own good. “You should forget all about me. I’m going to get you killed, sweetheart.”
She scowled, but she didn’t speak. Really, what else was there to say? Instead, she gripped the bottom of her tank top and ripped it over her head. My gaze dipped down low. I’d have to be dead and six feet under not to look.
Hell, even then, I’d find a fucking way to see her.
It didn’t take long for me to see that I’d been right earlier. She didn’t have a bra on. And, holy shit, she wa
s gorgeous, standing there shirtless. Her breasts were large—but I already knew that—and would overfill my hands. Their tips were dusky pink and hard. And they were begging for my touch. As I stared, she pulled her pants down and kicked them off.
All she wore was a skimpy red thong.
And her long blond hair.
I swallowed but almost choked on it because my throat was so damn dry. “Shit, Heidi. You’re . . . you’re . . . fucking perfect.”
She gave me a sassy smile. “Yeah. And I’m naked.”
“If you do this, you’re mine. No more games.” I flexed my fingers. “You’re actually mine.”
She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Then come get me.”
I closed the distance between us. I’d tried to do the right thing, tried being unselfish for once in my motherfucking life, but it didn’t stick. She wanted me to take her? I would take her. God only knew what the future held, but I knew one thing.
We would go down together.
When I stopped in front of her, I reached out and gently ran my thumbnail across her bare nipple. She shivered and bit down on her lip. Her rosy cheeks matched the tips of her breasts, and it took every ounce of my control not to not take her hard and fast, because it felt like I’d been starving for her for ages. But she deserved better than a quickie against the wall. She deserved my full attention . . .
And so much more.
“So pretty,” I said, my voice almost reverent. But, damn it, she was. I couldn’t help but worship her beauty in the face of my own depravity. “So mine.”
She curled her hands into tiny balls, and slowly relaxed them until they hung limply at her sides. “Take off your shirt, Lucas.”
“Excuse me?” I said, cocking a brow. “Was that an order?”
Tilting her head, she stared me down. “Yeah, it was. Inside these walls, I can say whatever I want—your words, not mine—and I want to see what you look like without a shirt on. So . . . take off your shirt.”
I curled my hand around her neck, resting my thumb against her swollen lips. “I’ll take it off when I’m damn good and ready to take it off. First . . .” I dropped to my knees and placed a kiss right above the waistband of her lacy red thong. “I need to see if you taste as good as you smell.”
A whimper escaped her lips. “Lucas.”
“Shh. I know, sweetheart. I know.”
I flicked my tongue over her clit, tasting her through the skimpy material that separated me from what I wanted most—her. She tasted like nothing I’d ever tasted before, but I wasn’t ready to remove it yet. Wasn’t ready to give myself what I wanted.
It would be too easy.
She fisted my hair and urged me closer. “God. More.”
Grinning, I cupped her ass and rolled my tongue in big circles. Teasing her, but not giving her enough friction or pressure to actually do anything for her, because she wasn’t getting off that easily. Literally.
“Oh my God,” she breathed, dropping her head against the wall. Her breaths came out in spurts, and I pressed my tongue against her one more time before I rose to my feet. Once she realized I’d stopped, she snapped her head back up and glared at me. “No. Lucas, I—”
I yanked her close by the back of the neck and kissed her, my tongue entwining with hers perfectly. She tasted like herself and appletini—and her scent of peaches permeated my senses. It was a combination I’d never forget.
Not even once she was gone.
A moan escaped her, and she ran her hands down my chest and over my abs, stopping right above my belt. Her hands hovered for a second before she dipped lower, gripping my hard cock. I pressed into her hand, growling low. When she rubbed her palm against me, hard and slow, I backed her against the wall again.
She collapsed against it and grabbed my belt, undoing it with trembling hands. She kept trying to take control from me, and I wasn’t about to let her. This was my game to play. I’d been waiting for her to give herself to me, and she had.
Stepping back, I shook my finger at her and grinned. Then I took another step back, because she reached out for me and almost caught me. “Uh-uh. Not yet.”
“Lucas.” She pressed her palms flat against the wall and bit down on her swollen lower lip. “You said no more games. Stop playing, and take me.”
“Or . . .?” I cocked my head. “You’ll kick my ass?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe I’d like that.” I gripped my shirt and lifted it slightly. Her gaze dipped down immediately, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “Maybe I like it rough.”
She licked her lips, and her nostrils flared. “Take it off for me.” After darting a glance up at me, she bit down on her lower lip seductively and added, “Please?”
“Since you asked so nicely . . .” I pulled it over my head and tossed it over my shoulder. “Sure thing, darlin’.”
When I turned back to her, her eyes were wide. “Holy . . .” She didn’t finish that statement. Instead, she took a step toward me, then two. Slowly, she reached out and traced one of my tattoos. I had them from my shoulders down to below my belt. They all mingled together into one big canvas. She traced the one that had my ma’s birthdate on it. “I didn’t know you had so many tattoos.”
I shrugged. “I have more you can’t see.”
“Show me.” She touched the star tattoo on my opposite shoulder. “I’d love to know what they all mean.”
When she touched my skin, her fingers featherlight, I forced a noncommittal laugh and remained completely still. “Some other time?”
“Yeah.” She ran her fingers over my nipple piercing. “Some other time.”
Shivering from her gentle touch, I pressed her hand more firmly against my skin. “You have ten seconds to be in my bed, naked, and waiting for me.”
She blinked at me. “Excuse me?”
“Ten.” I cocked a brow, because she hadn’t moved yet. “Nine. Eight.”
“Seriously?” Her fingers twitched under mine. “You’re going to count down for me like I’m a—?”
I stroked my jaw. “Seven. Six.”
“Fine, I’m going.”
“Five. Four—”
Tossing a look over her shoulder, she ran for the bedroom. I watched her go, admiring the view for a split second before continuing on. “Three. Two. One.”
I heard her hit the mattress just as I finished counting. “That was way faster at the end. Cheater.”
I did my best to hide my amusement at the surly tone in her voice. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I undid my belt as I walked. As I entered the room, I switched the light on. She’d followed instructions well. She lay in the middle of my bed, completely naked. Her red thong was on the floor, and she rested her weight on her elbows. Her knee was bent and folded over her other leg. Her blond hair fell over her shoulders to the pillows and curled angelically.
It was easily the most seductive pose I’d ever seen, hands down.
“Now who’s staring?” she teased.
“What man wouldn’t at the sight of you?”
I yanked my belt out and dropped it. Walking over to the nightstand, I opened the drawer and grabbed a condom. After tossing it on the bed, I undid my pants but didn’t take them off.
She watched me intently, her gaze never wavering from me as she shifted on the bed, her thighs rubbing against each other. “If you don’t hurry up, I’m going to self-combust before you even touch me.”
My pants hit the floor. “Don’t you dare.”
“Oh my . . .” She crawled across the bed, completely naked and sexy as hell. Once she reached the edge, she knelt and ran her fingers over my abs. “I knew you were muscular, but damn, Lucas. This is insane.”
I glanced down at her, watching her expression as she watched her hand on me. It was intoxicating as hell. Usually she did her best to conceal her expressions, so the fact that she relaxed her guard with me was a gift. I could see what she felt, as she felt it.
That meant mo
re to me than it should have.
She lifted up higher on her knees, glanced up at me through her thick lashes, and flicked her tongue over my nipple ring. I let out a strangled groan and buried my hands in her hair. It felt so good to have her lips on me. I didn’t usually let the girl make the first move. I remained in control at all times. It was the only way I knew how to fuck.
But with her . . .
All my rules were flying out the window.
She glanced up at me again. Her sapphire eyes glowed mischievously. “I want to touch you. Taste you. All over.”
I nodded once, unable to form words. When she cupped my cock again through my boxers, I stiffened. Everything inside of me tightened, demanding more. Now. But I fought down the urge. That irritating instinct to give her anything she wanted made itself known again, and there was no stopping it. If she wanted to indulge herself with my body, I would man up and give her free rein.
She’d get what she wanted.
When she scraped her teeth over the nipple ring, sucking gently, I let my lids drift shut and shut my mind off. She skimmed her hands down my abs and over my ass as her mouth moved over my piercing. My stomach clenched tightly, and my cock begged to be buried inside her now. As if she could read my thoughts, she moaned and slid her hand beneath my boxers, closing her fingers over my hard length. She let go way too quickly, but it was only to lower my last piece of clothing. Once my boxers joined my pants on the floor, she licked her lips and lowered her head.
After dropping a kiss to my hip, she ran her tongue over the tip of my cock. I tugged on her hair slightly. “Heidi, fuck . . . Don’t be a cocktease. Do it.”
“Since you asked so nicely . . .” she said.
She closed her mouth over me and sucked gently, and I lost my mind. Groaning, I pressed closer to her, wanting—no, needing—her to take more of me inside her hot, wet mouth. And she did. Man, she did. Her tongue moved over me, teasing me, killing me, and yet making me feel better than I’d ever felt before.
And that was saying a hell of a lot.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew it probably wasn’t good. Her nails dug into my bare ass, and she rolled her tongue over me, sucking harder with each torturous stroke she made. I made myself stand still. Made myself give her what she wanted—me. But the point came where I needed to move, or I’d come.
Dare To Run (The Sons of Steel Row #1) Page 15