by Holly Martin
Concerned by my lack of response, Zach moved closer, and touched my hand.
‘You’re freezing.’
Zach checked my pulse, then pulled a blanket over me, rubbing my shoulders to try to get me warm. ‘Eve, can you hear me?’
He seemed so far away, or maybe I was far away.
‘Shall I call Seth?’
No, not Seth, I couldn’t see Seth right now. I shivered involuntarily.
‘You’re so cold… erm… shall I… erm… get you out of these wet clothes,’ Zach said, clearly embarrassed.
When he still didn’t get any response from me, he carefully removed the blanket and then closing his eyes he pulled off my T-shirt.
I heard a soft swishing sound behind me and I knew without doubt it was Seth.
Zach looked up. ‘Why didn’t you come when I called you?’
‘Why are you undressing my wife?’ came Seth’s voice from behind me.
Zach looked aghast at the T-shirt in his hands, at what it must have looked like that he was kneeling on the bed, undressing me. ‘Seth… this isn’t what it looks like.’
‘Relax Zach, I trust my wife completely, and as much as I hate to admit it, I trust you too. What happened?’
‘I don’t know, one minute she was fine, we were running and she fell. When she got up she was clearly upset about something, but I don’t know what. She didn’t say what it was and then she slid away from me. When I followed her, she was already like this, completely unresponsive.’
I felt a hand on my shoulder as Seth rolled me gently onto my back.
‘Has she projected?’ Zach asked.
Seth looked at my eyes and shook his head. ‘No, she’s still in there, I think she’s in shock.’
Is that what it was?
Seth sighed, sadly, as he swept a tendril of muddy hair out of my face. He looked at his sweatshirt, held tightly in my arms and he smiled weakly.
‘I’ll look after her, don’t worry,’ Seth said.
Zach shifted awkwardly, then headed for the door. I heard the bedroom door close.
‘Evie?’
I wanted to speak, but it felt like I was no longer in control of my body, it felt like those moments that Adam took control and I was pushed to the back of my own mind. But this time there was no one else in here with me, there was just me, screaming silently from the back of my head.
Seth touched my hand and tutted. ‘You are freezing, I’ll run you a bath.’
Seth disappeared and I heard the taps being turned on. A moment later, Seth returned to my vision.
‘Evie can you hear me?’ Seth asked in my head.
But I still couldn’t answer.
Seth undressed me gently then scooped me up and carried me through to the bathroom. Holding me in one arm, he turned off the taps then to my surprise, he took his shoes off and stepped into the bath fully clothed, he sat down and with a bit of rearranging he propped me up against his chest.
He scooped up the water, over my shoulders, the only part not submerged in the hot water and rubbed my arms to get me warm.
Taking a jug from the side, he filled it with water, tilted my head back slightly, and poured the water over my hair. Seth picked up my bottle of coconut shampoo, poured some into his hands and then started massaging it into my hair.
Once he had rinsed my hair out, being careful not to get soap in my eyes, he started to wash my body, carefully washing my arms and legs. But when he got to my stomach, he stopped. He ran his hands over the tiny bump and then gently prodded it. Although I couldn’t see his face, I knew he was confused by it.
He lay like that for ages, holding me in his arms, stroking my head, my arms, but every so often his hands would return to my belly.
Eventually, when the water started to cool, Seth stood and carried me back to the bedroom, where he dried me and dressed me in my pyjamas. Then he ditched his own clothes and got changed too. He lay down on the bed next to me and pulled me into his arms and that’s when Lucas arrived.
‘Hey, I just saw Zach, he said she was upset, is she OK?’
‘I think so, she’s still here right?’ Seth asked.
Lucas nodded. ‘She’s not projected if that’s what you mean.’
‘I think she’s in shock, but I’m not sure what happened.’
Lucas frowned.
‘Lucas, her belly is swollen and hard, I wonder if she’s eaten something dodgy or had an allergic reaction to something. She threw up this morning.’
‘Can I see?’
Seth nodded and lifted my pyjama top.
‘Do you mind if I touch her?’ asked Lucas. Seth shook his head. I wanted to cry, wanted to stop him, as soon as he touched my stomach, he would know.
Seth would be furious, he would shout at me and leave me. I felt my fingers tighten instinctively into his shirt.
‘Seth…’
‘Hey, you’re back, you OK?’
Lucas touched my belly and he knew straight away. In fact, I think he knew before he touched me, I saw it cross his face. He could feel her, as strongly as he could feel me.
‘Seth I’m sorry.’ I said, in his head.
‘What for?’
Lucas straightened, his face one of shock. ‘Seth…’
‘I’m so sorry, Seth.’
‘Seth… she’s pregnant.’
Chapter 16
Seth tensed beneath me, and the words rang in the silence. He tilted my face up so he could look at me, waiting for me to confirm or deny it, but as soon as he saw my tears, he knew.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know… I…’
Seth let his head fall back on the bed, groaning heavily, he put his hand over his eyes.
‘Don’t leave Seth, please, stay with me for a while, you can shout at me again, just don’t leave.’
Seth looked at me, his eyes filled with grief. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
‘Are you angry at me?’
‘No… How can I be?’
‘I’m so sorry.’
I cried for the longest while and Seth held me tight, though I knew he was too numb to say anything else. Not only would he lose his wife in two days’ time but his daughter too.
Finally, I sat up, my eyes smarting from the tears. ‘Lucas I need this to be kept between us, we’ll tell Eli, but no one else, is that OK?’
Lucas nodded, numbly.
I sighed, looking down at my little bump. ‘How far along am I?’
Lucas stood from his position on the window seat and came closer. ‘It’s impossible to say Eve, it depends whether she is more human or Deus, do you mind if I touch you again?’
I shook my head, and lay down so Lucas could find her more easily.
Lucas gently felt around my stomach, he smiled slightly.
‘What?’
‘She’s strong, Eve.’
Seth sat up, his fingers going to my belly as well. Lucas moved Seth’s hand to where my daughter lay and Seth smiled too.
‘I can feel her heartbeat.’
‘You see, I don’t know whether we are judging by a human pregnancy or a Deus pregnancy, Seth is half Deus, but you have Deus in you too. Deus babies are fully formed after the first six to eight weeks. After that the baby will start growing really quickly, the remaining two months pregnancy is just the baby getting bigger and stronger. That first growth spurt is what causes the sickness, fainting and tiredness, though that normally only lasts for a day or two.’
He closed his eyes and I knew he was trying to sense her.
‘She’s big and strong and I’d guess you were about eight weeks along in Deus terms.’
I stroked my belly protectively, intertwining my fingers with Seth’s.
‘Persia said to me that she still saw the prophecy of Seth with your daughter and we couldn’t understand why she could still see her when you were going to die,’ Lucas said.
I paused, a glimmer of hope sparked in my heart.
‘She’s strong?’ I asked.
Lucas nodded.
Lucas nodded again.
‘Is there a chance she could survive if she was born now?’
‘If she was born now?’ He pulled a face. ‘Maybe. Deus do have premature babies a lot of the time. The babies get so big so quickly that many female Deus end up giving birth weeks before the babies are due. Most of them do survive but there are not many that have survived at this stage of the pregnancy.’
‘But it has happened?’
Lucas nodded.
‘Humans have premature babies all the time, babies that are so small they barely fit in the palm of your hand, and they go on to live happy, healthy lives. Guardian babies are so much stronger. If she’s fully formed now then there’s a good chance she could survive if she was born now.’
‘If it was ten weeks Eve, then I’d say yes, she probably could, but at this stage she’d be very small. She’s right at the beginning of her growth spurt. She needs a few more weeks of growing to give her the best possible chance.’
‘We could try,’ I said, quietly.
‘What are you suggesting?’ Seth said, his voice cold.
‘That you cut me open and get her out.’
‘Are you insane, no way?’ Seth said as Lucas also shook his head equally as vehemently.
‘I’m going to die, we know this, but this doesn’t have to be the end for her. If she’s going to die anyway when I die, isn’t it better that we give her a fighting chance to live, take her out and see. If she dies, we haven’t lost anything.’
‘You’re talking major surgery here Eve, not something that Cassidy or anyone in the fort would be particularly skilled or experienced at and it’s not something you would get over quickly. What if we do something wrong and we kill you. I’m not prepared to risk it Eve, I’m sorry,’ Lucas said.
They were right, I couldn’t risk my life in favour of a child that would most likely die anyway, not when that would mean the world would be at stake.
‘What about when I’m dead, when the world is safe? I come back here and die, I’ve seen it. You could get her out then, if you’re quick, she might stand a chance.’
‘Are you suggesting that within seconds of you dying we are to slice open the corpse of my dead wife?’ Seth asked.
‘I’ll be dead, I won’t feel anything. She’s your daughter Seth, there’s nothing you can do for me, but you might be able to save her.’
Seth’s eyes brimmed with tears. ‘So you die in my arms and minutes later I get the pleasure of seeing my daughter dying in my arms too, as I stand over the bloodied, mutilated body of my wife.’
‘At least you’ll get to hold her, you’ll get to see how beautiful she is, you’ll get to see the colour of her eyes.’
Seth shook his head.
I took his hand. ‘I don’t want to make this harder for you than it already is, but Persia has seen the prophecy of you playing with our daughter. This is the only way I can see that that would happen.’ I pressed his hand back against his daughter again to emphasise the point. ‘You could save her.’
He didn’t say anything for the longest time then he spoke.
‘OK. I’ll do it,’ he said quietly.
‘I really don’t think this is a good idea, cutting you open and watching her die, it will be so traumatizing for Seth, how will he ever get over it?’ Lucas said.
‘I don’t plan to be around for long to be traumatized by it Lucas,’ Seth muttered, darkly and I winced with the pain of Seth dying not long after I had. ‘But Eve’s right, probably dying is better than definitely dying, and I’d like to give our daughter that chance. Besides, this is no ordinary Deus baby, this is the child of The Sentinel. She will have powers, shape shifting abilities and the ability to heal, maybe some of that will help her to survive. I promise Eve, I’ll do whatever I can to keep her alive.’
I nodded, smiling. If Seth was looking out for her then that was the best chance I could give her. I squeezed his hand gratefully.
I looked back at Lucas. ‘Will you help him?’
Lucas nodded, reluctantly. ‘If that’s what you want Eve, then yes.’
‘And what are we going to call our daughter?’ Seth said. ‘If she survives.’
I looked down at my belly and entwined my fingers with Seth’s just above where our daughter lay. ‘How about Star, the light in our darkness.’
He smiled, sadly. ‘Star it is.’
Lucas sighed. ‘If she survives, I think we’d be better off calling her Lucky.’
I smiled. ‘She’s going to survive. Persia has seen it. And I have to believe she will. I’m fighting for the world for her now.’
Lucas nodded. ‘I’ll do what I can to save her too.’
I lay back down and Seth pulled me against him. In the darkness of my final hours there was now some hope worth fighting for.
*
Later that afternoon, Seth lay down to go to sleep. After Adam’s attempts to kill me earlier in the year by taking possession of the bodies of my Guardians while they were asleep, I wasn’t allowed to be in the same room as Seth when he slept so I stepped into the corridor and Noah sat up from his slumped position on the floor outside my room. He had been so withdrawn over the last few days, barely speaking at all. Noah had always been quiet, but now he was almost mute. He looked completely and utterly devastated. I was hurting so many of them. It wasn’t just Seth and Quinn, my Guardians and the Guardlings had been affected also. My death was going to affect them all and I hated that.
I looked around for any other Guardian presence but there was none, though I knew that the main presence was at the foot of the stairs leading up to the tower, protecting me from any other Guardians that might decide they want to kill me like Trey had. I also knew that most of my personal guard were using this quiet before the storm to rest too. The end of the world was coming in two days and they would help me in any way they could, though I knew it would mostly be down to me.
Noah stood quickly. ‘You heading out?’
I shook my head. ‘I was just heading to the roof. I need some air.’
Noah nodded but made no move to accompany me. He either sensed that I needed to be alone, or he had become so disaffected by the news that he no longer cared enough to do his job properly. Or maybe he thought I couldn’t get into too much trouble on the roof by myself for a few minutes. Either way, I was grateful for it. I still hadn’t come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant and that I would never get to see or hold my daughter and though I didn’t want to dwell on my morbid future, or the lack of it, I wanted time to think about it all.
I walked down the stairs, just as Quinn came out of his room. He jumped when he saw me.
‘Where you going?’ he asked, eyeing Noah, suspiciously.
‘Only to the roof.’
‘Oh, I’ll erm… come with you.’
He seemed brighter, happier today, the anger clearly had passed. Maybe Seth had had a word with him as he’d said and Quinn was now resigned to it as Seth was.
‘I’ll just get my jacket,’ Quinn turned back into his room.
Remembering the conversation I had overheard the night before, I shifted awkwardly at going anywhere alone with him. But as Lucas had not told any of my Guardians that this might be a problem, Noah wouldn’t know to come with me. I tried to catch his eye, but he was already staring at the floor again, despondent.
Quinn returned to my side. ‘Come on then, I wanted to talk to you actually so this will give me the chance to say what I wanted in private.’
I hesitated, feeling horribly guilty that I was so suspicious of my brother.
‘I… kind of wanted to have some time alone…’ I felt my stomach knot itself, at the flash of hurt that crossed his face.
‘Come on Eve, you can give your brother five minutes surely.’
I looked back at Noah again and wished Seth was with me as I climbed the stairs to the roof, praying that Quinn wouldn’t try anything.
Quinn followed close b
ehind, taking the role of the Guardian that Noah had failed to fulfil. The cold air howled around me as I stepped out from the warmth of the fort, and I pulled my jacket tighter. I heard Quinn close the door behind him.
‘I’m sorry Eve,’ Quinn said and I felt myself relax. He wanted to apologise for his behaviour over the last few days, that’s what this was about. I turned to face him just in time to see the syringe that he had been about to jab into my neck. I stepped back in horror, as something slammed into Quinn, throwing him across the roof. Seth. Over his shoulder, I saw Quinn land badly on the other side of the roof, crying out with the pain of the bones he had broken when Seth had thrown him.
I returned my attention to my husband, who I quickly realised, was furious, and not even at Quinn but at me.
‘I thought you said you wouldn’t go anywhere alone with him. After what I told you last night, you’re still silly enough to do just that.’
With his hand in mine, he turned and marched off the roof and I was forced to follow. I looked back at Quinn, writhing in pain behind me.
‘Wait, I should heal him,’ I said, pulling against Seth. But his hold was tight, unrelenting and he pulled me back to my room.
Noah looked up, confused by Seth’s anger as we approached, but didn’t move from his spot on the floor.
Seth slammed the door behind him and turned to face me. ‘What were you thinking?’
‘I didn’t want to hurt Quinn’s feelings.’
‘He could have killed you,’ Seth roared.
‘He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t hurt me. He was trying to save me.’
‘Yeah he might not hurt you deliberately, but the drugs he got you last time didn’t exactly have a positive effect on you. He’s getting desperate now, he could have created his own. God knows what would have happened had he succeeded. Why didn’t you have a Guardian with you?’
‘I… wanted some time alone,’ I said, quietly, not wishing to implicate Noah.
‘You asked Noah not to come with you?’
I looked away. ‘I think Noah thought that’s what I wanted.’
Seth growled, his fists clenched at his side. Lucas suddenly appeared out of the air.
‘He didn’t?’ Lucas said, almost equally as angry and I wasn’t sure if his anger was directed at Noah or Quinn.