“How did you ever know?” she asked.
“Because I know my brother well, and I love David very much,” she smiled.
Chapter 6
Phillip Beaumont had been a frequent visitor since Emily’s birthday celebration. He often came for tea and stayed for supper as well, playing cards late into the evening. He was an amicable young man with a wry sense of humor, and his exaggerated descriptions of life in law school had everyone holding their sides with laughter. He was quite taken with Emily and enjoyed quiet walks through the gardens with her more than any other activity at Brentwood Manor.
Since Emily’s accident, Phillip came almost every day to keep her company. Emily liked Phillip and welcomed his companionship during her convalescence, but she was becoming aware of an underlying tension in these visits. She watched carefully one day trying to ascertain what the change was.
One day when Phillip arrived, he bent to kiss her hand as usual, but he lingered over it, if only for a few seconds. When he looked at Emily, his eyes seemed to bore into her, and he was more intense than usual. Though he still bantered and made her laugh, beneath his smile he seemed always to be studying her.
Emily began to feel uncomfortable around Phillip, sensing a seriousness developing on his part alone. She tried to keep Joanna with them as much as possible and encouraged Phillip to bring others along with him, which he seldom did. Emily knew what was happening and felt panic rise within her at the thought. She wished Jonathon were here.
• • •
Emily noticed another change at Brentwood Manor. David was acting quite uncharacteristically. At breakfast one morning he appeared with his vest buttoned crookedly. A small smile playing at her lips, Joanna straightened it for him. He then proceeded to pour coffee into an already full cup. Joanna laughed.
“David let me serve you before you do yourself some great bodily harm.”
“No!” he almost shouted. Glancing at a surprised Emily, he coughed and said more quietly, “No, I am well, Joanna. Please just sit and relax.”
For several days David continued to act in an absentminded way. Emily watched in bewilderment and would have been alarmed but for Joanna’s reaction — Joanna seemed to look on in good-natured amusement. If anything she seemed more serene than ever. Finally, Emily could stand it no longer.
“Joanna,” she said over their afternoon ritual of tea, “I am worried about David. He does not seem to be himself lately. Perhaps it is not my place to say anything, but you two have become so dear to me, like my own family, that I can keep silent no longer.”
“Emily, David is healthy and fit. I realize his actions have been bizarre of late, but that is only because… well… David is worried about me.”
“You? Why you look lovelier than ever! Joanna, is something wrong?”
“No, Emily, something is right. Very right. David and I are expecting a child,” she answered, tears of happiness springing to her eyes.
Emily sat up and started to rise, forgetting about her injured leg in the excitement. Joanna came over to her and they embraced happily, laughing and crying at once.
“How wonderful for you, Joanna! I am so happy for you both. No wonder David has been preoccupied lately.”
“Well, with good reason, Em. You see, we had a child, but he died in infancy. Since then I have had two miscarriages. We just pray that the Lord will bless us with a healthy baby. Oh, we are so excited, Emily,” she smiled. “Our son was beautiful. We believe he was conceived on our wedding night, our very first time together…” Joanna continued talking gaily, but Emily did not hear her. The words “our very first time together” rang through her head. Could she, too, be with child? She was astonished that the thought had never crossed her mind before. She and Jonathon had been together several times; the chances were high. Her mind raced. What would he do if she were carrying his child? They had neither spoken of marriage — nor of love — although many times Emily yearned to tell Jonathon of her love for him. But she never did. Emily remembered Mrs. Dennings’s dire warning, He has a reputation with women. Emily knew that Jonathon was well experienced, but none of these women were his ward, lived under the same roof or, as far as Emily knew, bore his child.
Yes, this was quite a predicament George Wentworth had created. Neither of them had planned their passion in the cabin, and yet it seemed as natural as a stream flowing to the sea. But what now? When Jonathon returned, and that would be soon, would they continue as before?
Emily knew that if she were pregnant, she would not want to trap Jonathon into a marriage he did not want. She was wise enough to know that it would ruin any affection he had for her. If she were not pregnant, it would be wise to discontinue their intimacy and be grateful.
But the thought of never lying in Jonathon’s arms again was agony; the thought of carrying his child made her heart leap with joy. Emily wished that Jonathon were there with her at that moment, for if she could look into his eyes, she would know his heart.
Noticing the silence, Emily looked up. Joanna had been studying her for a few minutes. She saw the confusion on Emily’s face, and her heart went out to her.
“Do you suspect that you, too, could be with child?” she asked softly.
“I do not know yet,” Emily’s voice was barely a whisper.
“Oh, Emily,” Joanna cried and wrapped her arms around the girl’s trembling shoulders.
“I love him so, Joanna, but I know he loves his freedom. He loves the sea and his land; I do not think he has room for a wife.”
“Emily, he has said as much. But surely if you carry his child… He should never have trifled with you,” she said angrily.
“Please, Joanna, it was not only Jonathon’s fault. I wanted him, too, and it was quite…well, spontaneous. And mutual. But to have him marry me because I carry his child would only lead to resentment. Perhaps he would allow me to return to London with a fabricated husband who left me a widow,” she paused a moment. “There is another twist to all of this. I suspect that Phillip is going to propose to me.”
Joanna laughed. “That is as obvious as the nose on your pretty little face, Em. Wait!” she cried, her eyes getting large. “Do you love him — or at least find him attractive? Maybe Phillip is the solution to this whole problem.”
“Joanna!” Emily gasped. “You cannot think that I would marry Phillip when I carry Jonathon’s child…if I carry Jonathon’s child.”
“Well, I thought it might work. Oh, Em, I could throttle my brother right now. I do not know what he thinks and feels. Perhaps he does love you…”
“Joanna, please,” Emily interrupted. “I cannot bear to think that, for it is what I hope and pray with all my heart. And if I begin to believe it and find it is not so, I fear I would go insane. I will keep the memories of our times together as a precious treasure, but I will allow it no more.”
“Times?” Joanna blurted out.
Emily blushed and looked down at her hands.
“Oh, Em, you are hopeless,” she wailed and gently patted the girl’s shoulder.
• • •
Finally Emily was allowed to walk, although her ankle ached if she stayed on her feet too long. Jonathon had been away for a little over a month, and Emily found herself growing more and more restless awaiting his return. Anything that sounded like hoof beats brought her to a window at the front of the house. At night she lay in bed longing for the feel of his warm, lean body close against hers, for his gentle touch and low, sweet voice.
Unable to concentrate, she abandoned a book she had been reading. She even felt unsociable and, seeing Phillip riding up the drive instead of Jonathon one afternoon, the disappointment was almost too much to bear. She wanted to flee to her room and beg a headache, but she remained and received him in the sunlit parlor.
“Emily, you look lovely today. It is so good to see you up and
about.” He took her hand and kissed it slowly, then looked up into her eyes. Emily looked away. He sat beside her on the settee. “Any news of your brother yet?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she answered.
“Emily, do you feel up to a brief walk?”
“Yes, that would be nice, Phillip.”
The chilly November air was sharp compared to the mild October they had enjoyed. Emily drew her cape closer about her.
“Are you cold, Emily?”
“I do not mind, Phillip. I was beginning to feel cooped up inside. I enjoy the outdoors, even when it is brisk.” She smiled at him, “It is so good of you to visit this invalid.”
“My pleasure,” he beamed. “Perhaps tomorrow I shall bring the carriage and we shall take a ride. Would you feel up to that?”
“Oh, yes, I would.” Her only excursion had been a trip to a village so Joanna could buy some lace to trim baby clothes. Emily had waited in the carriage while Joanna shopped, but she had enjoyed the outing and an opportunity to observe the changing countryside preparing for winter. Her spirits lifted at the thought of another excursion the next afternoon.
At supper Emily was bright and talkative with the next day’s outing to look forward to, and Jonathon and Andrew’s homecoming imminent. Joanna and David noticed her mood change, too.
“You seem quite chipper this evening, Emily,” David remarked.
“I have been invited for a carriage ride with Phillip tomorrow and…uh, my leg is feeling so much better,” she replied. Though she was looking forward to the carriage ride, she knew her spirits lifted at the thought of Jonathon’s pending return.
“Well, it is good to see you like this.” He smiled and took Joanna’s hand gently. “Joanna and I care very much about you, Em. We like to see you happy.”
Emily smiled warmly, “You have made me feel very welcome here. Brentwood Manor feels like home to me, and I know Andrew feels the same way. We were frightened when we left England, not knowing what to expect. But you have both been wonderful.”
“Do not forget to include Jonathon. He is, after all, your guardian. And he is the one who made Brentwood Manor your home,” David said.
Emily shot Joanna a glance. “Yes, Jonathon has been wonderful … to both of us.”
Joanna rose. “Well, is anyone in the mood for a game of whist?”
• • •
Phillip arrived punctually the next afternoon. After hopping down from his carriage, he bounded up the steps to the front door. He awaited Emily in the parlor, and then greeted her with a warm smile and an approving look when she entered. Emily wore a powder blue dress embroidered with pale yellow flowers, yellow lace at the neckline and at the elbow-length sleeves. Phillip helped her with her blue velvet cape, and then they walked out into the sunshine. Making her way carefully down the steps, Emily waited for Phillip to assist her into the coach.
The carriage rolled off and Emily settled back into the seat. The sun was bright, the air crisp and bracing, and Emily breathed it deeply. The carriage rolled over a muted carpet of newly fallen leaves. The sharp smells of fall, dead leaves and fresh earth, were invigorating and Emily felt refreshed.
“Comfortable?” Phillip asked.
“Mmm,” Emily murmured.
They rode in silence for a while. Occasionally Phillip would point out an interesting spot or a lovely view. He watched Emily out of the corner of his eye, enrapt with her beauty, sensing her coolness.
“Emily, what was the voyage from England like?” he asked.
“Long.” Emily laughed. He waited for her to continue. “Well, sad, I suppose. Yes, I was very sad to leave London, and I was grieving for my father. There was a terrible storm, and Andrew was almost killed. Jonathon saved his life.”
“Jonathon’s quite a man.”
“Yes, he is.”
“I wonder that he never married,” Phillip said looking at Emily. She was silent.
“Why do you suppose that is?” Phillip persisted.
“I do not presume to know Jonathon’s mind, Phillip. I am sure he has his reasons.”
Phillip slowed the carriage down. “What was it like being together on the ship all that time?”
Emily looked at Phillip angrily. “Just what are you suggesting, Phillip?”
He looked out at the trees, then at Emily. “I am sorry, Emily, I did not mean to suggest anything. It is just that … Well, I wondered how you feel about him. He is a very handsome, rugged man, one I am sure women fall in love with easily.” The carriage had stopped. The forest sounds filled the silence between them.
“Perhaps you had better take me back, Phillip.”
“Wait, Emily. Please let me explain.” He took her hands in his. “Emily, I have come to see you almost every day. When I leave you, my soul aches to return to you. I see your face and hear your voice waking and sleeping. I long to reach out and hold you in my arms; crush you to me. The feel of your hand against my lips thrills me through my whole being, and I am driven to the brink when I think what the touch of your lips would do to me. Emily, I want you to be my wife.”
In spite of her anticipating this, Emily sat rigid in shock. Phillip took her in his arms and gently kissed her lips. She felt him shaking as he released her, and she looked into his blue-gray eyes that were half shocked at his own boldness and half-delighted at finally having kissed her. Although his kiss was tender, it did not send shivers of delight through her as Jonathon’s mere look did.
“Phillip — ” she began.
“No, Emily, do not answer yet. Think about it carefully. I still have to wait for Jonathon to return and ask for your hand properly.”
Emily’s head reeled as she thought of the possibilities in that encounter.
• • •
Shortly after Phillip and Emily had left, another carriage arrived at Brentwood Manor and out spilled Andrew and Jonathon.
“We are home!” Jonathon called.
Joanna ran from the house and Dulcie ran out another door to fetch David. Jonathon grinned at his sister and swept her into his arms, but kept one eye on the door, the whole time awaiting another.
“What a lovely greeting, Jonathon!” she laughed. “Did you miss me so much?” After she hugged Andrew, the three walked into the house together.
“Where is Emily?” Jonathon asked nonchalantly.
“She went for a carriage ride with Phillip,” Joanna answered pouring wine into four goblets. Jonathon’s face fell, but he recovered quickly. David entered and greeted them both heartily. They toasted a successful voyage and Jonathon filled them in on events while he was away. As his eyes frequently wandered to the front windows, Joanna hid a smile in her wine glass. A half-hour passed, Jonathon pacing the room. David rose to return to work, and Joanna put the glasses on a tray and carried them out. Andrew left to see to his unpacking, and Jonathon continued to pace.
Alone in the room, Jonathon leaned his forearm against the marble mantle and stared at the fire for a long time. The exuberance he had felt upon arriving was replaced with disappointment. Where the devil was she? His arms ached to hold her, to feel her warmth, to smell the sweet scent of jasmine that she always wore. To feel that silken skin beneath his hands and the passion that stirred in her small, slender body. He shook his head to change his train of thought. Keep that up and he would take her right in the foyer. Throughout the trip from Massachusetts his mind had been full of the possibilities their reunion presented. The carriage ride from the port had been almost unbearable. And she was out riding with Phillip.
After what seemed an eternity he heard horses’ hooves and hastened to the window. Phillip was drawing the carriage up to the house and beside him sat Emily. Jonathon watched as Phillip hopped down and went around to help Emily alight. They spoke briefly and Phillip bent and kissed Emily’s cheek tenderly. She gave him a
small smile, and he helped her make her way carefully up the steps. Once at the top, they were out of Jonathon’s view. He wondered if Phillip were kissing her again, perhaps more passionately than before. He wondered how Emily would respond to Phillip’s kiss, and his disappointment at Emily’s absence upon his return slowly turned to anger. He stood lost in thought until he heard the front door close and Emily’s footsteps in the hall. Turning slowly, he faced her as she entered the room.
“Jonathon!” It was a question as much as a statement, for her initial impulse upon seeing him was to run to his arms. The look on his face stopped her.
“Good day, Emily.”
She glanced at the window, then at him.
“When did you arrive?” she asked.
“Shortly after you left with Phillip.”
Emily winced. She had been waiting for this moment for weeks, but it was not as she had imagined it so many times. Instead of taking her in his arms, Jonathon stood rigidly, looking at her strangely, a frown on his face.
“Well, did you have a pleasant ride?” he asked flatly.
“It was nice to get out for a bit, yes,” Emily replied removing her cape and turning to a chair to lay it on. “Jonathon …” she said turning back to him, “I …” She stopped, his cold, flinty stare freezing her approach, suspicion clouding his face. “I need to lie down for a while,” she said and left the room.
• • •
Emily lay across her bed, one arm flung over her tear-stained face, confused and angry. Rather than Jonathon’s arrival helping solve her problems, it seemed to complicate things even more. At least she had been assured a few days earlier that she was not with child; that was one less complication, although she felt strangely disappointed.
Her head whirled with the events of the day. All her high hopes had been crushed; her eagerly anticipated ride turned into a nightmare. How could she refuse Phillip’s proposal without hurting him deeply? Jonathon obviously had seen them arrive, but what had he seen? Phillip’s kiss had been brotherly. Could Jonathon be jealous?
Time After Time Page 57