They began to plan their trip into Williamsburg. Everyone was excited at the prospect, for a play was planned at the theater, and a ball would follow at the Governor’s Palace.
David turned to Joanna. “Not too much excitement for you, my dear,” he scolded gently.
“I shall be careful, David. Let me have some fun, too!” she pouted and laughed.
“What is going on here?” Jonathon demanded. Then, for the first time looking closely at what Joanna was sewing, the light dawned and he rose and embraced his sister.
“Joanna!” He laughed and turning, he pumped David’s arm. He was beaming at them both. “How wonderful!” He grinned from one to the other. Sitting back down, he grinned at them again, then struck with a thought, his grin faded to astonishment and he looked over at Emily. His eyes searched hers; she lowered them and blushed.
The others had continued talking and missed the silent exchange. Jonathon was quiet for the rest of the evening.
• • •
Emily stirred in her sleep. Slowly coming awake, she was aware of Jonathon before she opened her eyes. He was standing next to her bed gazing down at her. She raised her eyes to his silently. A moment passed.
“Did you come to fling more accusations?” she asked bitterly.
“No.”
She sat up and pulled the blanket around herself. “As you can see, I am alone!” she hurled at him.
He looked down at his hands. The silence surrounded them like a mist. Slowly, he sat on the bed.
“Did you come to ease your lust then? Do you think I am that wanton?” she demanded.
“Well, I am not the one who is going to marry someone else, am I?” he whispered hoarsely. “And just who will be the father of your firstborn?”
Emily slapped his face.
“Not you!” she seethed. “If that is what concerns you, Jonathon, put your mind at ease. I do not carry your child. Now, may I get some rest?”
She flopped back on the pillows and rolled over with her back to him. She heard the door close, and her body was racked with sobs.
• • •
Emily was in her room and, with Joanna’s help, was deciding what to pack for Williamsburg. They chatted excitedly, holding up gowns, matching ribbons and shoes, and picking out toiletries. Dulcie entered and informed Emily that Phillip was downstairs. The excitement drained from her face, and she looked at Joanna.
“Do you want me to come along?” Joanna asked.
“No, it is time I tell him,” Emily replied.
Phillip rose when Emily entered the parlor carrying her cloak.
“Let us take a stroll, Phillip,” she suggested.
He helped her with her cloak and, after adjusting it, placed his hands on her shoulders. Emily moved away, slipping on her gloves. Phillip offered her his arm, and they walked together out into the garden. The day was mild, the sun warm on Emily’s face. They walked in silence for a bit, and Emily sat down on a stone bench. Sitting beside her, Phillip took her hand and looked into her eyes. Emily noted that, despite the intensity of his gaze, it had none of the effect that a similar gaze from Jonathon would elicit.
“I spoke to Jonathon,” he said.
“He told me.”
“He wanted me to think about this for a few days. But I can wait no longer; I intend to press him for an answer today. I want us to be together, Emily,” he said as he slipped an arm around her and drew her to him. Emily pushed away.
“Phillip, please. I have something to say.”
He looked at her, waiting for her to continue.
“I do not know what I have done to mislead you. I am truly sorry if I have done so. You are a dear friend, Phillip, but — ”
“But you have changed your mind,” he finished for her.
“There was never anything to change. I tried to tell you so right away, but you stopped me. Then, taking my silence as consent, you went to Jonathon. Phillip, I cannot marry you. I am so sorry to hurt you like this.” Tears glistened in Emily’s eyes.
“I… I do not know what to say.”
They sat in awkward silence. Finally, Phillip stood. “I am sorry for the embarrassment, Emily. I hope you will forgive me.”
“There is nothing to forgive, Phillip. I am honored that you asked me,” she replied earnestly.
He looked down at her. “Since I have no further need to be here, I shall take my leave.”
“You are always welcome here, Phillip.”
He bowed over her hand, turned, and left.
Emily sat lost in thought as the afternoon shadows gathered. She pitied Phillip; she knew what it was to burn inside with love for someone who did not return it.
Chapter 7
Emily and Joanna were snug in the carriage with lap furs tucked about them. David, Andrew, and Jonathon were riding a little ahead of them. It was a cold day; frost had been on the ground that morning. The horses’ breath steamed in the air as they snorted and stamped their hooves. But their excitement about this trip to Williamsburg kept the travelers from feeling the chill.
Everyone looked forward to these public times when society gathered from all the plantations to celebrate with races, fairs, balls, and plays. A ball would be held at the palace of Lord John Murray Dunmore, Governor of the Virginia Colony.
Emily’s spirits were higher than they had been in days. Joanna’s excitement had been contagious, and she had looked forward to this trip, too. As the coach rocked along the road, they chatted gaily, imagining who would be at the ball, discussing the latest fashions. The day sped by, and they reached the townhome of the Cosgroves, where they would be staying during their trip, just in time for supper.
James and Martha Cosgrove were gracious hosts, and they greeted the group warmly. That evening they dined on roasted pork, candied yams, spinach toast, and buttered onions. Just when everyone agreed they couldn’t eat another bite, the apple pie, redolent with cloves, was placed before them, and all somehow found room for a slice. The trip had been draining, so they all retired early after only one lively game of whist. Martha walked Emily to her room talking all the way. Emily nodded and murmured “uh-huhs” politely, noticing that Jonathon’s room was right next to hers. He reached his door ahead of them and, turning, said good-night and bowed slightly. His eyes held Emily’s briefly before he entered the room and closed the door.
Martha turned to Emily. “What Jonathon needs is a wife.”
Emily, taken aback, looked at the older woman and laughed.
“Well, my dear, we old married women cannot bear to see a handsome, virile man like that run around without benefit of a soft shoulder to lay his head upon at night — the same soft shoulder!” She laughed again. “Do I shock you? James tells me I am much too bold. But honesty is a good thing; do you not agree, Emily?”
“By all means, Mrs. Cosgrove.”
“Bah — call me Martha, child. I am not that old!” she chortled down the hall.
Emily was thoughtful as she prepared for bed. Martha’s words ran through her mind. “Honesty is a good thing.” If she had been honest with Phillip from the start, she would not be in this predicament. And if she had been honest with Jonathon at the outset and told him she had never accepted Phillip’s proposal … But he had said such awful things, she could not even think straight. Well, at least she had finally been truthful with Phillip, as painful as it had been for them both.
• • •
The next day was a whirl of events. They attended the fair and walked among the booths sampling foods and viewing the crafts, especially the homespun clothing that was so popular due to the protest of imported British goods. Many of the women planned to wear gowns made in the colonies to the ball that night to bring the protest right under Lord Dunmore’s roof.
After the fair, they attended the horse races. Fo
llowing an active afternoon, it was time to return to the Cosgroves’ to prepare for the ball. Emily and Joanna waited in the carriage while the men collected their winnings. The atmosphere was festive, and many of the men lurched and stumbled as a result of their early celebration.
The two women were having such an amusing time watching and commenting on the scene that they did not notice a tipsy gentleman approach their carriage. Clumsily tipping his hat, he leaned in toward them.
“Af’ernoon, ladies,” he hiccupped. “’Scuse me. May I take you two lovely…hic…ladies for a ride?” He began to climb in beside Emily.
She held up her parasol, jabbing him in the chest.
“No, thank you, sir,” she said firmly.
“Oh, a spirited vixen,” he snorted, trying hopelessly to focus on her. He slapped her parasol away and lunged into the seat next to her. Before he made contact with the cushion, he was lifted up and thrown out of the carriage. Landing on his back, he looked up through bleary eyes to find Jonathon glaring down at him. Rage filled Jonathon’s eyes; his jaw twitched with anger.
“I suggest that the next time you see these ladies you head as far in the opposite direction as your legs will carry you. Do I make myself clear?”
The man sprawled out on the road blinked and nodded. Pulling himself up and away from Jonathon, he scrambled to his feet and hurried down the road.
Jonathon turned to the women, a concerned look on his face. “Are you two all right?”
They nodded, both a little shaken, and Jonathon climbed in beside Emily. His nearness was almost too much for her to bear, and she clutched her hands together to hide their trembling. David and Andrew joined them, David beside Joanna, and Andrew on the other side of Emily. With Andrew beside her, Emily had to move closer to Jonathon; the sensation of his arm against hers was like fire. She looked out Andrew’s side of the carriage and spoke little. All she could think about was lying in Jonathon’s arms as one of his limbs pressed impersonally against her at the moment.
The rest of the day was spent getting ready for the play and the ball to be held that night. After napping, Emily rose to bathe and dress. She dabbed jasmine cologne liberally, and then donned her fine silky chemise and underclothes. A maid came in to dress her hair. Sweeping it high, she twined ivory colored ribbons and pearls into it. Then she helped Emily slip into her gown of ivory silk covered with tiny seed pearls. Small, pale blue flowers were embroidered along the bodice that plunged low to reveal the creamy white fullness of her breasts. Ivory lace bordered the neckline and billowed at the elbow-length sleeves. Seed pearls and flowers covered the skirt, except for the lacy petticoat revealed in front. Emily wore a pearl necklace and drop earrings that had belonged to her mother. She stepped before the mirror and gasped. She did not recognize herself. Her blue-violet eyes sparkled, and the excitement lent a rosy hue to her cheeks. Her hair gleamed silken, and her dress accented her shapely figure.
Andrew knocked, entered, and, seeing his sister, halted and let out a low whistle. “Emily, you are beautiful!”
“You cut quite a handsome figure yourself,” she laughed looking admiringly at him. He stood a head taller than she and his lean body was complemented by a royal blue longcoat over a powder blue vest and breeches. His shirt had a ruffled front with lace at the sleeves. Pointing one high, leather boot, he struck a dignified pose.
“Do you think I shall catch the young ladies’ attention?” he asked with mock seriousness.
“You will win their hearts. Do be kind, sir,” she laughed and reached for his arm as the two descended the stairs together.
Joining the others in the parlor for a drink, Emily was instantly aware of the men’s reaction to her appearance. Admiring glances preceded the compliments, and she especially noticed the gleam of approval in Jonathon’s eyes. She glowed with warmth and sat beside Joanna and Martha.
“You look beautiful, my dear,” Martha said sincerely. The décolletage of her deep burgundy gown was even more daring than Emily’s, and she wore a patch at the top of the fullness of her left breast.
“You are lovely, Em,” Joanna agreed.
“Joanna, you look radiant,” Emily answered, for she did. Joanna’s skin seemed to glow set off by an emerald gown trimmed in snow-white lace. “And Martha, you look exquisite.”
Finally there was confusion and laughter as they hurried to get their wraps and leave for the play. In the din, Jonathon took Emily’s cape and, placing it across her shoulders, he stood closely behind her and whispered, “I am sure your fiancé will appreciate your revealing beauty tonight.”
Emily’s heart sank. Of course, Jonathon still did not know of her conversation with Phillip. If nothing else happened tonight, she would get this straightened out between them.
So upset was Emily over Jonathon’s words that she was impervious to the excitement of the evening. The audience, a kaleidoscope of color, would normally have entranced her as fashionably dressed people mingled and greeted one another. Men sported breeches and coats of linen or silk with lace or silk jabots at the neck. Women wore gowns of silk or brocade with petticoats that cascaded in layers of lace. Oblivious, Emily gazed at the audience. She tried to focus during the performance, but feeling eyes upon her, looked across at the box opposite to find Deidre Manning grinning slyly. Emily realized that it was not she that Deidre was looking at, and without moving her head, followed the woman’s gaze to Jonathon, who was smiling back. Having conveyed a message, the two returned their attention to the play.
All the gaiety washed from her, Emily wanted to return to the townhouse, strip off this ridiculous costume that belied her mood, and … scream.
After the play, everyone took the short carriage ride to the Governor’s Palace. Brightly lit candelabra sparkled over the festive guests. Laughter and conversation mingled, rising and falling in myriad tempos. Music floated gaily from the ballroom, which was brightly lit by three magnificent crystal chandeliers. Rich blue wallpaper trimmed with gilt leather covered the walls. Tables laden with food and drink stood in the Supper Room, which was decorated in the Chinese style so popular at the time.
Andrew led Emily through the first dance, and then Calvin asked for the honor before the orchestra took an intermission and they all had some refreshment. Emily spotted Phillip in the crowd. Joanna spoke to her then and, turning to answer, she lost sight of him. They slowly made their way back to the ballroom, and Phillip was beside her.
“You look beautiful this evening, Emily,” he said.
“Thank you, Phillip. And you look very handsome.”
The music began and he bowed to her. As they walked to the floor, she caught sight of Jonathon, a deep frown on his face. Phillip took her hand and they began to dance. They talked of inconsequential things as they twirled about the floor. Emily caught sight of Jonathon talking to Deidre, and as it happened, they ended the dance right in front of those two. Innocently, Phillip brought Emily over to Jonathon and presented him her hand.
“Thank you, Emily,” he bowed and kissed her hand then hurried off.
Jonathon gave Emily a puzzled look as Deidre slipped her arm through his and held it tightly against her bosom, pushing her already overflowing breasts dangerously close to tumbling out.
“Jonathon, you did promise me a dance,” Deidre purred.
“I was hoping you would honor me next, Deidre.” Randy appeared out of nowhere, and before she could protest, he was leading her onto the floor.
Having no other alternative, Jonathon bowed to Emily and led her out, too. Emily trembled at the feel of his strong arm about her. They danced silently for a while, Emily staring at his chest.
“What a strange way for a fiancé to treat his beloved,” Jonathon finally said.
“He is not my fiancé.”
“You broke the engagement?” Jonathon’s eyebrows shot up.
“There nev
er was any engagement!” Emily snapped.
Jonathon looked more confused.
“I vowed to myself that we would get this all straightened out this evening. Shall we do it here and now?”
Jonathon danced deftly to the edge of the room. Then he led Emily out into the main hall. He ordered their wraps, and they stepped out onto the grounds. They walked through the gardens a bit before sitting on a marble bench. Emily turned to face him.
“Phillip proposed to me in the carriage the day that you returned. I suspected it was coming; yet still I was unprepared. I was speechless for a moment and when I finally started to speak, he bade me wait and consider for a time. He said he would have to await your return to ask you anyway. He then kissed me.” She looked at him squarely. “He then kissed me,” she repeated. “He thought it was quite passionate, but then he has never kissed you.”
Jonathon threw his head back and laughed, perhaps too loudly because of the lightness of his heart.
“Finding you had returned, he must have taken my silence as consent. I never intended to marry him, Jonathon.”
“Why did you not tell me so immediately?” he blurted out.
“Because you were too busy flinging accusations that I had to answer immediately. You were like a crazed man, and I was astounded that you could believe those things of me.”
“Em, I was crazed. All the while we sailed, my thoughts were only of you. Every other time I have sailed, the sea was like potent ambrosia. I felt serene and happy, long voyage or short, for she was all I needed. But this time was different. I shook my fist at the heavens and cursed the winds for their feebleness. I lay at night aching for the feel of you in my arms, for your skin against mine. Emily, the sea was not enough anymore. Do you not realize how I felt? My heart was singing as we drove up to the house, for soon you would be in my arms. Then disappointment upon disappointment, you were not there when I arrived. In fact, you were out riding with Phillip. When I saw you return, I was confused. He was so tender, and you did not rebuff him. I did not know your heart and wondered if it was his now. The next day he arrived to announce your engagement and ask my blessing. I was a crazed man, Emily. I realized while I was at sea, and it was brought painfully home to me during Phillip’s visit, that — I love you. More than the sea. More than the land. I love you.”
Time After Time Page 59