“Come have tea with us, Mama.”
Brianna moved a teddy bear, sank into the chair next to Thomas, and rested her hand on his knee. “Thank you.”
Cody leaned into the room, his face incredulous. “Dude. Are you playing tea party? With the girls?”
Thomas nodded. “It’s good tea. Want some?”
“Uh.” Cody backed up, going pale. “No. I’m okay.”
When he fled the room like his ass was on fire, Thomas laughed and turned back to Brianna. She watched him intently, gaze clouded, then leaned in and kissed him. Gently, but it was still in front of Katelyn, and Thomas nearly dropped his teacup.
“I like when you laugh,” she said. “You don’t do it enough.”
He brushed a finger down her cheek, unable to put into words the way she made him feel. His pulse pounded in his ears. Nicole had always told him he was annoying when he laughed. He laughed too loud or too much. He hadn’t realized it until now but that had stuck with him. Her cruel words had shaped him more than he’d realized.
“I never had much to laugh about before,” he said. “Not until you.”
“Smile.” Katelyn held a little pink camera up and aimed it at them. “I want a picture of our tea party.”
They smiled and said “cheese.” Katelyn snapped the picture, then squinted at it.
Brianna leaned in and whispered, “It’s probably a great shot of our laps.”
“I’ll take that picture,” he whispered back.
She laughed and nudged him with her shoulder. “You’re incorrigible, no matter what you say.”
“For the things that matter, I am.” When he looked into her eyes, he felt laid bare. The feeling was almost frightening, this raw openness, as if he’d lost any hope of hiding. “And you’re high up on that list.”
She smiled and kissed him one more time, then looked at Katelyn. “Is the picture good?”
“One more time.” Katelyn snapped the picture before they had a chance to pose. “Perfect. It’s the bestest I’ve ever taken.”
“Can we see it?” Thomas asked.
“No.” She tucked the camera away with a smug smile. “Not yet.”
“Okay. Are you hungry?” Brianna asked.
“Yes!” Katelyn bounced. “Is Thomas staying for dinner? Please?”
“Sure. As long as Thomas is okay with pizza again. I promised Cody.”
“And I promised Cody I’d work on his tree house.” Thomas stood. “I think I’ll take a hack at that until dinner.”
“I’ll help!” Katelyn beamed. “Let’s go downstairs and find some tools.”
She grabbed both Thomas’s and Brianna’s hands and led them out into the hallway, but Thomas tugged free.
“I’ll be right down,” he said, and watched his girls skip down the stairs.
Then he went back into the bedroom, picked up the picture of Michael, and set it back in its rightful place by Katelyn’s bed. “I’m sorry you aren’t here anymore but I’ll do my best to make them happy.” He stared at the picture, as if he was actually waiting for an answer from the beyond, and then left the room feeling a little bit more welcome than he had before.
…
Two days later, Brianna curled up against Thomas’s side. He still smelled like fresh pine and a hint of sweat. She’d watched him into the early evening as he put in a new floor for the tree house, after treating Katelyn to ice cream on an impromptu trip to the hardware store. He’d seemed so easy and sure of himself out there working with his hands, balancing on the tree’s branches with an agile grace that made her want him all over again. By the time he’d come in, he’d been dirty and covered in bark, nothing like the slick executive she’d met over lunch in the restaurant.
But every inch like her Thomas.
He hit play on the remote and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled closer and murmured, “I bet this isn’t how you envisioned your Friday nights in Vegas when you asked me out the first time.”
He chuckled and hugged her close, his lips on her temple. “Nope, but I like it. Vegas is all party and booze. I like this quiet home life better.”
Hope surged in her chest. She opened her mouth, about to promise him the world if he would only stay with her and take the job in the Vegas office, but she closed it just as quickly. He had to make that decision on his own. She wouldn’t give him any pressure or place any thoughts in his head. Their time was running out, but she wouldn’t say a single word about that.
She’d just…be happy. Not stress over the future for once. “I thought Katelyn would never fall asleep tonight. Why is it that the two oldest kids fell asleep before the little one?”
He chuckled. “She’s too excited about the playground tomorrow for sleep.”
“I know. Especially since you’re coming, too.”
“Are you kidding? You said we could have ice cream. I wouldn’t miss this for anything.”
“Watch it with the ice cream. That’s half the reason she wouldn’t go to sleep tonight.”
“She asked for cookies and cream. How could I say no to that face?”
Brianna groaned. “She owns you already. Don’t give in to that face. It’s pure evil.”
“It’s pure adorable.” Thomas paused. “I’m…I’m not used to this. This family thing. Any of it. I—I kind of screwed things up with my own family.”
“With Nicole? She was an idiot.”
He fell silent, staring at the TV; its babbling nonsense noise was too loud between them. Brianna took the remote from him and stopped the movie. The look on his face was painful, a wretched struggle that said he wanted so much to go further but couldn’t. Not without her help.
She rested her hand on his chest. “You have a sister,” she said—prompting him quietly. He’d refused to talk about his sister before. Maybe he would now that they’d spent more time together. He seemed to like it here with her—and she liked having him here. All of him.
“Yeah. Erica.” He looked at Brianna, then looked away again, focusing on the wall. “It was just me and her growing up. Our parents were always busy, but we looked out for each other. Jeremy, too.”
“Who is Jeremy?”
“Her husband. He was my best friend. I guess he is again.” He gave a little shrug, but the tenseness of his body gave away the motion as a cover-up. “I don’t know why he would want to be my friend, though.”
Her heart twisted at the look of abject failure on his face. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
“No,” he said sharply, then stopped. He practically deflated, sighing and giving her an apologetic glance. “Yes.”
She only smiled and leaned into him. This moment was fragile, and she wouldn’t pressure him. He’d only close up. Instead she let him take his time; she could almost see the wheels turning behind his eyes, thoughts gathering. Finally, he took a deep breath and began.
“I’m still not completely sure how Jeremy and I became friends. We got in a fight over something in junior high, beat each other up…and became best friends in the way only boys could be. We were different in a lot of ways. Yet the same.” He let out a brief laugh. “He didn’t have much family, either. So we were like brothers. But Erica…I think they fell in love the moment they met, even when she was still young enough to be following me around calling me Tommy.”
“Tommy,” she repeated, arching a brow.
He winced. “Yeah. I hated it. Still do. She still calls me Tommy. So does Jeremy.” The smile on his lips was fond, distant. “I guess while they were busy falling in love, so was I. With Nicole. We were stupid. Got married at eighteen. I was so love-blind that I let her mold me into the man she wanted. I got the job she wanted. Bought the house she wanted. Did anything and everything she wanted, even turning a blind eye to the men she brought home when I wasn’t there. And there were a lot of them.”
Brianna’s breath caught. How could any woman do that to someone who loved her—who was capable of the kind of raw, real love that even now she could hear in Th
omas’s voice? “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“I’m not. It’s what gave me the courage to walk away from her and realize how miserable I really was. But not before I screwed a lot of things up.” Pain hardened his voice. He looked away from Brianna and stared fixedly at the wall. Each word was clipped, forced. “She said she’d slept with Jeremy. Worse, that he’d forced her. That was back when I was still making excuses for her, when she’d pretend to be sweet and swear she’d never do it again. Deep down, I didn’t believe her. But I reacted badly. I beat the hell out of Jeremy and told him never to come back to my house. Our friendship ended the way it began…only he didn’t hit back. He just looked at me, like I’d taken the most important thing in the world from him.”
His fist was clenching and unclenching against his knee, as if remembering every blow. He looked down at it, staring at it as if it was somehow to blame. “I guess I had,” he murmured. “Erica and I were his real family. And he loved her so much.”
“You didn’t know,” she whispered, her heart breaking for him.
“But I should have.” He lifted his head, pinning her down with his stare. “I should have seen it. I should have known he wouldn’t touch her. He hated her. Everyone did but me. I wised up and split with Nicole a few days later, but it was too late. He was gone. I sent him away and he joined the Marines soon after our fight. I wanted to write to him so many times, but I didn’t.”
She wanted so much to hold him. Draw him against her bosom and just cradle him close, stroke his hair, soothe him. But he was still so tense. “But they’re married now,” she offered. “So it couldn’t have been that bad.”
“Maybe,” he allowed. “But it wouldn’t have happened if not for pure coincidence. He was walking down a desert road with a killer hangover and a few bruises, and she found him. Brought him home with her. Fate gave them a second chance. Not me.” Finally, he met her eyes. The struggle in his had been replaced by something she thought might be relief—and again that plea for understanding that she’d seen so often before. Had Nicole understood him so little? “Not everyone gets a second chance handed to them. I want to make my own. Do what I want, not what someone else wants for me.”
What someone else wants for me. Like a family. A future together, with three children that weren’t even his own.
In that moment, she was tempted to run away again. Protect her heart from his inevitable departure. But if she did that, she’d be shutting him out of her life the same way she’d shut everyone out of her life when she’d turtled up and turned into a protective Mama Bear. So she leaned her head against his shoulder, offering the comfort of her closeness if she could give nothing else.
“Anything can be forgiven, Thomas. If they hated you, they wouldn’t talk to you at all. Do they talk to you?”
“Yeah. Of course.” He leaned into her. His warmth wrapped around her. “But I still feel guilty as hell. I love them so much.”
And I might be falling in love with you. She bit her tongue, swallowing the words back. How could she fall in love with him when she knew their time was limited? And how could she even think about love when he constantly held himself distant from her?
Tonight had been a start, but that’s all it was. In a few days, he’d be gone. And she’d be alone. Again.
Chapter Twelve
On Thursday afternoon, creeping even closer to Thomas’s scheduled departure date from Vegas, Brianna sat beside Cody on the living room floor. His new Transformer and the instructions were spread across the carpet. Brianna squinted at the paper. Cody had earned the toy by spending Sunday helping Thomas clean out the rain gutters. When he’d first gotten it, Cody had been so excited he hadn’t even tried to transform it. It had taken a few days for the glamor to wear off, and now he wanted to make Optimus into a truck.
Unfortunately, Optimus had about six million moving parts, and the instructions were either in Chinese or Sanskrit. Or maybe it was just that it wasn’t possible within the laws of physics to turn a robot’s arm that way.
She twisted it anyway. It snapped in half. She cringed and dropped the useless thing on the floor. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“I think you turned it the wrong way.” Cody picked up the instructions and studied them. “Girls don’t get Transformers. When’s Thomas going to get here? I bet he could do it.”
She ground her teeth together. “Girls get Transformers. Girls get a lot of things boys don’t. Like how certain boys might want to watch their mouths if they ever want to see dessert again.”
He flushed and ducked his head. “Sorry, Mom.”
Brianna smiled and ruffled his hair. “It’s okay. Thomas will be here soon. He’s just taking care of a little paperwork.”
Paperwork that would finalize their business arrangement together. Brianna had been driving herself half crazy with worry. Afraid that once Thomas got her signature on the contract, their entire attempt at figuring out if they could be something would crumble at their feet. Afraid his boss would find out he’d been sleeping with their client and not only pull the contract but pursue some kind of legal action against Thomas.
Almost as afraid as she was that he would be sent back to California now that they’d finished their negotiations.
A truck engine revved outside. Cody’s head snapped up. “That’s him.”
He tumbled to his feet, grabbed the instructions, and ran for the door. Brianna followed more slowly. Cody ran across the yard to Thomas’s truck, holding up the toy and the instructions. Brianna couldn’t look away. She never thought she’d accept another man in her life, let alone with her kids. Yet here they were, Cody’s eyes bright and shining as he looked up at Thomas with utter trust.
He had to stay. She needed him to want to stay.
“Can you help me transform Optimus?” Cody said. “Mom can’t do it.”
“She can’t?” Thomas took the paper and studied it. “I bet she could. Your mom’s a smart businesswoman.”
“That’s true, but I can’t read Chinese,” she said.
“I’m pretty sure that’s Korean.”
“Well, then, I can’t read that, either.” She rose up on tiptoe and gave him a light kiss. “How did it go? Are we officially business partners?”
“Yes.” His arm slid around her waist, and he pulled her close. “We are.”
She wanted to ask him if he would be staying in Vegas or leaving, but the words wouldn’t form. What if he said no? What if he was leaving? Her chest squeezed tight, stealing away her ability to breathe. She didn’t want to face reality. Not yet. If nothing else, she could wait until after dinner to ask him.
He jostled her shoulder. “You in there? You’re being awfully quiet.”
“Yeah. I’m just thinking.”
His brow furrowed, and his eyes met hers. She saw the same uncertainty she felt echoed in his eyes. “About what?”
“Hello?” Cody tapped his arm. “Are you going to help me or what?”
“Oh. Yeah, of course.” Thomas ruffled the boy’s hair, but his eyes remained on her. “Come on.”
They headed up the walk. Thomas kept Brianna close, and she fell into step with him comfortably.
“Katelyn’s waiting for another tea party, too.”
“Little girls do love their tea. How’s Zach doing?”
“Still completely and utterly dedicated to hating you. I wish he was this committed to his homework.” She slipped her arm around his waist and squeezed. “He would have straight A’s.”
He tapped his fingers on his thigh as they walked. “I might have a little talk with him.”
Brianna tensed. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Last time you tried to talk to him without me, you got a black eye.” She glanced up at him. The remnants of the bruises were still there, a sickly yellow-green. “Actually, it’s still kind of there.”
He pressed his fingers to his cheekbone, wincing slightly. “Kid’s good at soccer. It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“I think I sh
ould keep working on him. Not you.”
He tugged her to a stop. “Cody, go inside. I want to talk to your mom.”
Brianna bit down on her tongue so hard it nearly bled. What gave him the right to tell her kids what to do? But Cody was already gone, running inside with his Optimus Prime.
Brianna folded her arms over her chest and eyed Thomas. “What?”
“We’ve been over this. I need to talk to him,” he said with a sigh, then held up his hand. “I know—he’s your son. And you know your kids better than I ever could. But the problem is between Zach and me. If we don’t work it out between us, it’ll just fester.”
She shook her head. “It’s a bad idea.”
“You may be right. But I have to try, Brianna. He needs to know I’m here for the right reasons and he needs to hear it from me. I’ll risk another black eye on the off chance it’ll work.”
“What if it just makes the problem worse? And what if you make him like you, and then leave us? What then?”
He swallowed. “It’s nothing that can’t be fixed.” His hand on her shoulder was warm. “You need to trust me with this. If I’m going to be part of your life, you can’t be there to dictate every time I have to interact with your kids.”
“But will you be here? Or are you—?”
“Bree. Shhh.” He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin to the top of her head. “Now isn’t the time for this conversation. We can talk about it later.”
“Later when? I’ve been avoiding bringing it up, but it’s time. We need to stop avoiding this ax hanging over our heads.”
“I’m not avoiding it. I’m just pushing it back a bit.” He kissed the top of her head. “Trust me. Please?”
“I’m trying.” She pulled away. “I am.”
“We’re going to talk about the future. Our future. When we can talk freely without a kid knocking on the door.” He sighed, looking off into the distance. “Jeremy and Erica are coming to visit. And…they want to meet you.”
“They do?” She froze. If his family was coming out to visit him…did that mean he was staying? “Really?”
“Yes.” With gentle fingers, he brushed her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “My sister wants to meet the woman who managed to tie me down to three kids. She’s even agreed to watch the kids overnight so we can have another real date. An overnight date. And we can talk all you want then.”
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