by J. H. Croix
Instead, he giggled again and took a sip of orange juice from the cup I’d set out for him earlier. “I don’t have to think about that one. I know Mom. You love me.”
“I do,” I confirmed, carrying the pancakes to the table. “You love me too?”
I didn’t have to ask, but I liked hearing it all the same. Austin’s eyes were glued to the pancakes when he answered, making me roll mine as I set the plate down. “I do mommy. Of course I love you. You make pancakes.”
“Well in that case, I guess I’ll just have to keep making them,” I teased, watching him as he closely watched me dish up a pancake for him. “Are you going to say thank you?”
Austin nodded, not taking his eyes from the pancake, murmuring, “Thanks mommy.”
He didn’t even need me to pour syrup for him anymore. He grabbed the bottle, made a huge blob on his pancake and scarfed it down.
“I love pancakes.” Austin’s tongue came out to swipe at a glob of syrup on his chin. He grinned widely as we waited for me to pass another one. “I love pancakes almost as much as I love you.”
A serious expression came over his little face, his dark hair sticking up in every direction as his green eyes lifted to mine, then dropped back to the pancakes. He had my coloring thankfully, with the dark hair and the green eyes. I thanked my stars for that because the last thing I wanted was to be reminded of my ex every time I looked at Austin.
“That’s good to know, buddy.” I pushed all images and thoughts of Austin’s father out of my mind. Today was about me and my son. Every Saturday was our time together. Wesley, my douchebag ex, wasn’t going to ruin that for me. “What do you want to do today?”
“We can go to the park?” Austin suggested, eyes lighting up with excitement. There was nothing special about the local park near our home, but he couldn’t get enough of it.
“You bet. Finish your breakfast first, then we’ll go.”
I managed to scarf down half a pancake once I’d gotten all the dishes in the sink before Austin was done and zooming around the kitchen again.
He was almost out the kitchen door by the time I stopped him. “Austin! Hands baby, you have to wash your hands. And we’ve got to get you dressed if you want to go to the park.”
Stopping in his tracks at my mention of the park, Austin turned on his heels and sped toward the bathroom. “I’m washing my hands, Mommy! You can choose clothes, but I want to wear the Billy Ray hat.”
“You sure buddy?” Austin had gotten a Billy Ray Cyrus hat at the fair a few weeks ago and decided since then he was a real country boy, thus deserving of a hat to suit the title. He hardly ever left the house without it now. Cute, but it was getting to be a bit much.
“Uh huh, I’m sure! With the red shirt and my jeans.”
So much for me choosing the clothes. Snapping a hair tie from around my wrist, I pulled my short hair into a spiky, small bun and headed for Austin’s room.
The water was running in the bathroom in between our bedrooms, and he was humming the tune from a kid’s show he loved. I took a moment to peek in on him, reveling in how fast he’d grown for just a second before I slipped out and into his room to find his clothes.
Some days it was hard enough to believe he was out of diapers and not nursing anymore, never mind that he was walking, talking and reminding me that he had to wash his hands before we went out. I wasn’t even going to get started on the fact that he was eating mostly by himself, had valid opinions that he could convey and reason about. If I let my thoughts wander, I was never going to get out of the house.
Austin was bounding into his room just as I’d pulled out the clothes he’d asked for, shrugging out of his pajama set and into his clothes with the minimum assistance from me necessary. I sighed inwardly, yet more activities that he soon wouldn’t need me for at all.
But until that day, I would be there for him anytime he needed me.
“Mommy.” His earnest voice cut into my thoughts, and I smiled when I met his curious gaze.
“Yeah, baby?”
“You’re staring,” he declared, looking over his shoulder to the corner where I’d been staring and zoning out just a few seconds before. “What’re you staring at?”
“Nothing sweetheart. I was just thinking. You ready to go?”
Just like that, Austin’s attention shifted and he bounced up and down. “Let’s go! Let’s go!”
Then he was flying out of his room. He really didn’t know the ends of his energy, especially not right after breakfast. Rushing to the back door where we could cut to the park through the backyard, I heard him humming to himself and sitting down on the low bench we had there for him to tie his shoes.
I followed him, unlatching the door and stepping outside but glancing back to make sure he wasn’t knotting his laces. As soon as I set foot on the back stairs, an unexpected voice sent a shiver down my spine, and not in a good way.
“Bout time you two got out for the day. A boy shouldn’t be cooped up inside all day, Marie.” Wesley’s dark blonde hair was messy, like he’d been running his hands through it all morning. It was an old habit of his that signaled he was vexed about something. Almost on cue, he did it again.
I shied back a bit when he stepped toward me, holding an arm out to stop Austin from going outside and running into his dad. There wasn’t much love lost between the two, and he never slept well after spending time with Wesley. It weighed on me that the person I loved most in the world—Austin—was the product of my poor judgment in stumbling into a relationship with Wesley. I’d been too young to see the warning signs blaring at me in time.
“Mommy?” Austin’s soft voice piped up from inside. “Who’s out there?”
“No one, buddy. Just give mommy a second, okay? Why don’t you go fetch us some waters from the fridge to take with us?” I gave him my best calming smile and nodded in the direction of the kitchen.
He seemed uncertain, but then he bit into his lip and took off. It was everything I could do not to let a relieved sigh escape when he disappeared back into the house. Closing the door, I skipped down the three wooden stairs that led to the backyard and narrowed my eyes at my ex with my hands parked on my hips.
“It’s not even nine yet. He’s hardly been outside all day, not that I have to explain anything to you. What’re you doing here, Wesley?”
Dark eyes fixed on mine, Wesley’s attempted smile was nothing more than a sneer. “My son lives here. You forgot that?”
“We both know you’re not here to see him.” The only good thing about Wesley as far as I was concerned was his complete lack of interest in spending time with his son. I wanted the best for Austin, and I knew that a part of that was a father figure he could look up to, but that person wasn’t Wesley.
He wasn’t a good man. Not at all. Thankfully, that extended to his devotion as a father—he didn’t have any. If Austin’s father was any other man, I would’ve fought and given anything to foster a good relationship with his dad, despite whatever relationship I might or might not have had with the man, but that sentiment didn’t apply to Wesley. Not only was he an absent father, his penchant for verbally and emotionally attacking me with occasional knocking me around had put Austin in the crossfire a few too many times. It had taken all I had to extricate myself from that mess. Now, I’d do whatever was necessary to keep it that way.
Eyes darting to the door behind me, Wesley managed some version of a grin, yet as always, it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Says who? The boy is mine too. I’m entitled to spend time with him if I want to.”
“But you don’t,” I spat at him. “Which begs the question, what are you here for?”
“Came to see you.” Wesley stood taller in an attempt to intimidate me, a move he loved. “You haven’t been in touch lately, so I had no choice but to come check on my son.”
Something changed in his voice, making it feel like a mixture of ice. Cruel awareness was seeping into my veins. Wesley was up to something, and whatever it was wasn’t goo
d. Tension cracked in the air between us as my eyes swept his, searching for his motives. “What do you mean?”
Just then, I heard the screen door slam and Austin calling out victoriously. “Got ‘em mom. Can we go now?”
“Almost buddy.” I heard Austin’s sharp intake of breath when he spotted Wesley. I turned slightly toward him, instinctively trying to shield him with my body. “Let me just finish up here, okay? Go inside, I’ll come get you in a minute.”
“Nah Austin. Come out here, come say hi to your daddy,” Wesley drawled. Austin froze in place, his eyes darting between Wesley’s and mine. I didn’t want Wesley anywhere near Austin, but I also wasn’t about to put him in the middle, so I gave him a tight smile and nodded.
“Go on ahead then.”
Austin ran down the stairs, hugged Wesley’s legs and released them so quickly, it was as if they’d burnt him. In a flash, he was behind me again, slipping his small hand into mine. He’d grown really protective of me, even though he was only five. This bothered me, if only because I didn’t want him to worry about me. He deserved to have a carefree childhood, but my own bad judgment gave him Wesley as a father, which made that all but impossible. The equation life had offered me with Austin was impossible to solve. I wouldn’t trade the mistakes I’d made that brought him into my life, yet I’d give anything for him to have a different father.
His protectiveness was a simple gesture from such a small person, but it meant everything to me. It gave me the strength I needed to get out of this encounter. “We were just heading out. We’ll see you, Wesley.”
“Not so fast, sweetheart,” his low voice murmured as I took a step to pass him. His hand wrapped around my wrist and his fingers closed hard around it. He jerked me to an immediate stop, though I shielded the point of contact from Austin’s eyes with my body.
“What?” I hissed.
Wesley didn’t let me go.
“You went out a few nights ago.”
It wasn’t a question. “So?”
“So, I don’t appreciate the mother of my child whoring around with other men.” Wesley was still speaking softly, a dangerous undertone in his voice.
“He’s a friend. That’s all.” I kept my own tone cold and steely.
Wesley’s black eyes narrowed onto mine. “I know, for now. It better stay that way, Marie.”
“You better mind your own business, Wesley,” I retorted. I would’ve said more, but his dark gaze flicked to Austin. Anxiety, fear and raw protectiveness coiled into dread in my gut.
“You are my business. Both of you are.” He released me, nodding goodbye to Austin and giving me a meaningful look before he slunk away around the side of the house.
I shuddered and blinked back the fear I knew would be shining in my eyes. Giving Austin an encouraging smile, I tugged him to the path that led to the park. “Come on, the park is waiting for us.”
He was quiet all the way there, uncharacteristically so. I wondered if maybe he sensed I needed to think. I would never tell him anything about Wesley or the underlying threats he kept making toward us, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t there.
The time had come for me to consider what I could and should do about it. The answer was becoming frighteningly clear.
Wesley was becoming too unpredictable, too volatile. No matter what it took, I had to protect Austin from it. Even if it meant giving up everything and starting over, I had to do it. For him.
Chapter Three
Jeremy
The giant furry lump at my feet didn’t move an inch at the knock on my door. Following my dog’s example, I buried my face into my pillow and ignored the hollow thumps that kept coming from down the hall. They didn’t stop though. If anything, they only became more insistent.
“Arcadian,” I grumbled, turning my head to the side and cracking an eye open. My pitch black Cane Corso didn’t do the same. He could scare the living shit out of anyone, provided that he was awake and you happened to encounter him before he smothered you in kisses.
“Go on boy, go get whoever that is.” They’d deserve it for waking me up at—I glanced at the digital clock on my nightstand—five thirty in the morning. Arcadian still didn’t move.
He might’ve weighed a hundred plus pounds at four years old, but he was utterly useless as a guard dog. There was his aforementioned ridiculously friendly nature, but also his strong preference to sleep every chance he could get.
“Yo! Jeremy!” Sonny’s muffled voice yelled from outside. “Wake up, man. I need coffee!”
“Fuck off,” I mumbled, though I knew very well he wouldn’t be able to hear me. Hauling myself out of bed, I scowled at my supposed fierce guard dog dreaming peacefully at the foot of my bed, tugged on the pair of jeans lying next to him from yesterday and went to let my younger brother inside.
Sonny was wearing his uniform, dark smudges under his still-alert eyes telling me that he was just coming off a nightshift at the PD. “Took you long enough.”
He shouldered past me, heading straight for the kitchen and flipping the switch on my coffee maker. Leaning with his hip against the island, he waited for the machine to do its thing while I located two clean mugs and set them on the counter.
“It’s five thirty in the fucking morning, I wasn’t exactly expecting company. You should be grateful I woke up at all.”
That wasn’t entirely true. My hatred of mornings didn’t mean I could sleep straight through them. Years of being up way before the crack of dawn for football practice and then for early shifts meant I was likely to have woken up within the next thirty minutes regardless of whether he’d arrived or not.
Sonny knew this. “Bullshit. You’d have been up anyway. Where’s that mutt of yours?”
“Sleeping,” I grumbled. “Speaking of, what brings you here straight off the back of a shift?”
My brother popped in from time to time, sometimes straight off a shift if he needed to unwind before crashing, but it was usually because there was something on his mind. Sonny’s unique eyes grew serious, one green eye and one blue eye settling on mine. His heterochromia was just one reason why women clamored around him, but he’d never let it get to his head.
“Heard you went to see pops on Saturday. How’s he doing?”
I bristled, annoyed that I was being used as the go between. “He’s good. He’d probably be better if you went to see him every once in a while.”
Sonny sighed and a hand went absently to his thick black hair. “Nahhhh.”
When he didn’t offer any further explanation, I nodded my silent understanding. Sonny wasn’t afraid of anything and god only knew how often he went on official visits to prison, but going to see our father behind bars was something he simply wouldn’t do. Out of all of my brothers, Sonny was the one I was closest to, so I knew his answer with certainty, but it didn’t stop me asking.
“I hear you,” I replied, inclining my head toward the coffee maker and swapping out my mug for a travel one from the cupboard beneath it. “I gotta go get ready for work. Have your coffee, make mine in there and we’ll get together for dinner soon, okay?”
“Got it,” Sonny agreed. I nodded, meeting his eyes for a long moment before I took off down the hall to my bathroom. There was more to what Sonny wanted to talk about, but I didn’t have time for it right now. I just hoped that whatever it was could wait, but Sonny would’ve told me if it couldn’t so I let it go. I’d talk to him soon.
An hour later, I was walking onto Doc’s construction yard where I worked. There were a couple of guys milling around, but the yard was still mostly quiet. I made my way across the yard to Doc’s mobile office with a couple of guys calling out hellos. I returned them, but didn’t stop to chat.
Bonding with coworkers wasn’t my thing. I communicated with the teams I led but that was about it. I wasn’t the type to go out for beers after work or commiserate about day to day crap.
I’d never had been that kind of guy, but my attitude had gone from private to distant in
the last year or so. After my once upstanding father skidded sideways into jail, there were too many whispers to ignore around the small social world of Cypress Creek. The grand total of people I talked on a regular basis could be counted on one hand, and I was about to step into the office of one of them.
Doc greeted me with a warm smile and motioned for me to take a seat, his kindly green eyes crinkling at the corners. “Hope you got some strong coffee in that there mug boy, we’ve got a busy week ahead of us.”
“Sonny stopped by this morning after finishing a shift and made it for me, so it’s strong enough. What’ve you got for us this week?” After a couple years working for Doc, I’d become his unofficial second in command and finally about two years ago, the position had become official. I even had a business card to prove it.
Doc chuckled when I held up the coffee Sonny made and nodded. “That boy does like the stuff extra bitter, doesn’t he?”
“Sure does.”
“Let’s get to it.” Launching into the schedule for today, we discussed jobs that needed to be completed and how to divvy up the men between them. We took the week’s jobs day by day, Doc not wavering before we’d worked our way up to Friday. “Sarah wants to expand the hair salon. That needs to start on Friday. I told her you’d go have a look at the building on Wednesday if you finish up early. Sound good?”
“No problem. I’ll get it done. Let me give a call Wednesday morning to set up a time? If I can’t drop by Wednesday afternoon, I’ll go first thing on Thursday, but we’ll get the job started by Friday either way.”
“I’ll let her know.” Doc nodded, making a note of it on the large paper calendar he still kept on his desk. I’d tried getting him to go electronic with all this stuff years ago, but Doc was old school. He stuck to his routine in the mornings, which included checking the coffee stained, doodled on paper with his chicken scratch writing on it and taking heed of the notes he’d scribbled for himself.
Knowing that brought our morning meeting to an end, I got ready to leave. Doc stopped me, clearing his throat and raking a hand through his graying hair. “I just need another minute, Jeremy.”