by Zoe Chant
Shane gave a brief nod. “Sounds good.”
Nick turned to Raluca. “You’re completely safe here. This is the most secure building in Santa Martina. And we have rooms with beds, for this sort of thing or in case one of us needs to spend the night. They’re kind of basic, but...”
“That is perfectly acceptable,” Raluca said as they stepped into the elevator. “I agree, it would be unwise to return to the hotel.”
She was being so cooperative that it made him suspicious. Steeling himself for an explosion, he said, “Okay, I’m going to report to Hal. I think it’ll take... uh, maybe an hour? We have a lot to go over. Can you stay awake that long? I want to talk to you before you go to bed.”
Raluca showed no signs of exploding. “Certainly. I will await your knock.”
“Great,” Nick said unenthusiastically.
The elevator doors hissed open. Shane stepped out and gestured to Raluca to accompany him. She went with him without a backward glance.
Nick briefly closed his eyes. He wasn’t looking forward to reporting the details of his fuckuppery. But he was looking forward to his conversation with Raluca even less.
Alpha wolves don’t whine, he told himself. You ran the gauntlet. This is just talking.
He hadn’t meant to speak to his wolf, but his wolf replied. If our mate says what you think she’s going to say, the gauntlet would be better.
Stop making it worse, Nick silently replied.
Protection, Inc. wasn’t very formal, which was exactly why Nick could stand to work there. More often than not, reports were made over lunch or coffee, or by calling Hal to give him a quick update. But Nick found Hal in his office, sitting behind his desk with his arms folded across his broad chest, radiating you really fucked up big-time.
Nick wanted to get the whole thing as over with as fast as he could. But Hal was good with details. Sometimes he could crack a case from a detail that the person who mentioned it hadn’t registered as relevant. So Nick told him everything that had happened since they’d last checked in, including the visits to the clothes shops and the “World’s Biggest” excursions, in case Raluca had been spotted at one of those.
He left out nothing but the sex thing, the mate thing, and the breaking of his heart thing. But Hal wouldn’t notice that he wasn’t reporting on the state of his feelings. Nick didn’t have feelings about clients beyond “He was cool” or “She was okay except for being a Mets fan.”
Hal only interrupted once, to say, “You took the princess to Big Bacon? We’re supposed to protect our clients from getting killed, not finish the job.”
Nick’s face burned. “It’s not that bad.”
He plunged back into his account before Hal could bring up however fucking many cases of food poisoning or chemical overdose Big Bacon was probably responsible for. Nick had told the truth when he’d claimed it was a landmark: a landmark of tackiness and horrible food, mysteriously staying in business even though nobody ever visited it more than once. Except for Nick, who had now gone twice.
When he finally stumbled to the end of his report, Hal gave him a look that made him feel like a teenager hauled to the principal’s office. “Let me get this straight. You and your client haven’t been getting along, you aggravated this by deliberately annoying her, she was poisoned under your guard, and you got your pocket picked without even noticing.”
“That’s what I fucking said, wasn’t it?” Nick snapped.
Hal banged his fist on the desk, making his papers jump. “Why?”
The aggressive gesture roused Nick’s alpha dominance. He slammed his own palms down on the desk. “Because I fucked up, okay? Raluca... I don’t know, something about her got to me. Distracted me. It won’t happen again.”
“How do you know?” It was a real question, not a rhetorical one. Hal leaned forward, his brow creased with both annoyance and concern. “I’m serious, Nick. I think I know how the poison got in her wine. There were waiters going back and forth, refreshing everyone’s glasses. One of them probably waited till you’d smelled her glass, then dropped the poison in just as you took a bite or drink of something with a strong enough odor to drown out the scent. But —”
“I know, that has to be it, but I was fucking watching for that! Whoever did that was one fast motherfucker. Fuck!” Nick’s hands clenched.
“Watch it!”
Nick relaxed his grip just in time, before he cracked Hal’s handmade desk. He’d already destroyed one of Hal’s precious desks. Hal would kill him if he trashed another.
Hal went on, “Honestly, Nick, it sounds like that assassin was good enough to slip the poison past any of us. Except for Shane, maybe, and that’s only if he went unseen instead of pretending to be a guest. But for you to be so distracted that you didn’t notice someone picking your pocket...”
“I know,” Nick replied. “Far as I know, there’s only one guy good enough to do that when I’m not distracted, and it wasn’t him. He’d be pretty fucking hard for me to miss.”
Hal nodded. “Yeah, you’d have spotted him. And he has no history with Raluca, and the attempt was on her, not you. Still...” Hal’s hazel gaze drifted into the distance, then refocused sharply. “It’s an interesting thought. I’ll look into it. See if I can track him down.”
“Don’t bother. It wasn’t him. He’s out of our lives and he can fucking stay there.”
Hal made a noncommittal shrug, then gave Nick his I’m the boss look. “You didn’t answer my question. How can you — and I — be sure that you won’t be distracted from keeping Raluca safe again?”
Nick almost choked on his next words, but he had to say it. He had no other choice. “Because...”
***
While Nick was in Hal’s office, he’d distantly registered the sounds of elevators, footsteps, and voices outside. He didn’t hear Shane’s footsteps, but no one ever did. But Catalina, who was capable of moving just as quietly, didn’t bother. Her laugh echoed as she left, presumably with Shane.
When Nick finally left the office, feeling like he’d swallowed poison, Ellie rose from the chair she’d been curled up in, leaving a paperback book on the arm and a medical kit on the floor. “Are you done?”
“Yeah. How’s Raluca?”
“She’s fine,” Ellie assured him. “She noticed the poison right away, you did absolutely the right things to keep it from getting into her system, and Shane got her the antidote within half an hour. Absolutely no harm done.”
“Is she alone?” Nick asked.
Ellie gave him a sharp glance with her blue-green eyes, catching something in his tone. “Yes, in one of the spare bedrooms. We offered to have someone wait with her till you came back, so she’d feel secure, but she said it wasn’t necessary. And you’ll be here all night to guard her, of course.”
“Of course,” Nick said after a pause. Well, he would. And he couldn’t face the thought of having that conversation with Hal, Raluca, and Ellie. Nick would tell Raluca, and Hal would tell everyone else. It was no skin off Hal’s back. “You can take Hal home now.”
Ellie scooped up her book and kit. Nick turned away from her happiness, glowing as bright now as when Hal had first brought her to Protection, Inc., as she went into the office to meet her mate.
He went downstairs, hearing the distant sounds of Hal and Ellie leaving. By the time he reached the spare rooms, he knew that he and Raluca were alone in the building.
There were two rooms. One door open and no lights on, one door closed with light shining through the crack at the bottom.
Nick drew in a deep breath, straightened his spine, and squared his shoulders. He might have fucked up like no shifter had in the history of ever, but at least he’d stand up and take it like a wolf. Hal was Protection, Inc.’s alpha, but Nick had been an alpha once and he still was one at heart. And that meant protecting your pack. Sacrificing your own needs for your pack. Bleeding for your pack. Dying for your pack. Protection, Inc. was his pack now. And since Raluca was a client, all th
e duties of an alpha to his pack also applied to her.
Breaking your heart for your pack.
Nick knocked on the door. “It’s Nick.”
“Come in,” Raluca called.
Nick walked into the room, then closed the door behind him. He’d slept in that cramped room quite a few times himself, so he knew it well: the normal-sized bed (the other room had one big enough for Hal), the little chair (because a bigger one wouldn’t fit), the bedside table and lamp, the hardwood floor.
When he’d first come to Protection, Inc., those rooms had been bare; the company had only recently moved in, and Hal hadn’t decided what to do with the tiny rooms yet. Nick had been one of the reasons they’d ended up putting beds in them.
He knew that room like he knew his gun. But it was surreal to see Raluca sitting on the bed, still in her jeweled mermaid gown. It made the entire room look new and strange. Almost... magical.
A folded pair of pajamas and another set of Fiona’s black fatigues lay on one chair, so it wasn’t like she had nothing else to wear. She still had all her jewelry on. Her hoard pack lay beside her on the bed. One of her hands rested atop it. All she’d taken off was her silk gloves, probably so Ellie could check her pulse, and her silver stiletto heels. Raluca’s hands looked bare with neither gloves nor rings.
Nick had meant to get straight to the point. But the words caught in his throat as he looked at her slim fingers, remembering how she’d eaten half a Big Bacon in one bite and without a flinch because he’d dared her to, how she’d remembered to tip even after she’d been poisoned, and how she’d risked getting shot to strap a bulletproof vest on him.
“Is this how a princess dresses every day?” Nick asked. His voice cracked. He hoped she didn’t notice.
If she did, she gave no sign. “This is how a princess dresses for a ball. Except that if I was still a princess, I would wear my crown.”
“What happened to it?” Nick asked.
Raluca tilted her head, her eyes going distant with memory. “It is in my hoard pack. I shall not wear it again... Or so I thought.”
Nick had been under the impression that she’d given up her title for good. “Are you thinking of going back to being a princess?”
Her rainy-day gaze met his squarely, making him realize how rarely she looked him right in the eyes. Usually she snuck peeks when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. “Yes. I am.”
He heard the absolute, unadorned honesty in her voice. He was about to ask her why when his wolf snarled a warning. Nick closed his mouth. He knew why. It was because of him. He’d given her the worst possible impression of America and Americans, just because she’d stung his pride, and now it looked like the World’s Biggest Ball of Twine was going to have the World’s Worst Consequences.
“I think...” Nick tried to choose his words carefully, for once. Sure, he’d offended her on purpose, but he’d also done it by accident. If he pissed her off one more time, she might bolt straight back to Viorel, and probably be assassinated within the week. “I think you should wait till Lucas comes back, and talk to him first. And...”
He almost choked on his next words, but he had to say them. He’d failed her even more than he’d realized when he’d spoken to Hal. It was unfair to her to stick her with a bodyguard she couldn’t stand but was too polite to fire. And if she hated him so much that she’d rather rush into danger alone and unguarded than have him around, then he had to offer her an alternative.
“I’m sure Lucas will want to protect you himself,” Nick said. “But until he gets back, you can have a different bodyguard. I already talked to Hal about it. He’ll let you pick, but if you’re not sure who you want, I recommend Destiny. She’s funny, but she’s sensitive, too. She wouldn’t piss you off. And she doesn’t swear. Or Rafa— he knows all about high society, like you saw, and he’s very professional once he’s on the job. He wouldn’t flirt or tease if you were his client. Or Shane. I know he seems a little scary, but he’s a really good guy, he’s fantastic at his job, and he has total self-control. You tell him once not to swear, and he’ll never swear again.”
This is madness! Nick’s wolf growled. I told you once, and I am telling you again, you must not —
“Why...” Raluca began.
Nick plunged on, desperate to get it over with. “You don’t want me. You don’t want me so much that you’re about to risk your life just to get away from me. Raluca, you don’t need to do that. I’m not your fiancé. I’m not even your boyfriend. I’m just a guy you hired for a job. So fire me. Or if you’d rather, I’ll resign. And once I’m gone, I’ll stay out of your way. I’ll stay out of your sight. Just say the word, and you’ll never have to see me again.”
Do not do this! Nick’s wolf snarled. Only you may protect your mate!
Raluca’s lips parted in surprised hurt. “Do you wish me to have another protector?”
“Fuck, no!” Nick blurted out. “But if you’d rather run back to a fucking nest of assassins than have me protecting you, then yeah, you should have someone else.”
“That is not...” Raluca began, her gaze sliding away. Then she straightened her spine, just as he had before walking in, and once again met his eyes. “Why do you dislike me so?”
“I don’t —” Nick began.
But Raluca spoke over him, her chiming voice drowning his out. “Is it my title? My wealth? My personality? Is it something I said or did? Is it everything I have said and done? Why were you offended enough to take vengeance when I asked you to show me the real America? The guidebooks say that is both polite and pleasing. Are they wrong? Why —”
“Whoa, whoa!” Nick held up his hand, overwhelmed by Raluca’s unexpected flood of questions. He’d thought she’d tell him who she wanted to take his place, then kick him out the door. “First of all, I don’t dislike —”
“Liar,” Raluca said coolly. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you did not take me to the world’s biggest hairball specifically to annoy me.”
“I —”
She is your mate, snarled his wolf. You cannot lie to your mate!
Nick’s head ached. His wolf’s voice had reverberated through his bones. His whole body ached. He was so exhausted, he couldn’t seem to think.
If he was going to sit, it should be in the teeny chair, but the way things were going, it would probably collapse under his weight. So he sank down on the bed, as far from Raluca as possible. The pressed cloth of his suit crunched, reminding him that he hadn’t changed either. He felt like an imposter, completely out of his depth. His wolf and his supposed mate were both furious with him. His impulse was to swear, to deny, maybe to brush it off with a joke...
...but that was exactly what had gotten him into this fucking mess to begin with.
Nick looked within himself, and tried to put his feelings into words. Words that did not include “fuck,” “fucking,” “fucked,” “fucker,” or anything else in the swearing dictionary.
“I was mad at you,” he said carefully. “But that doesn’t mean I dislike you. You can ask anyone here. Everyone single one of them has pissed — has made me angry. And I’ve been a dick — I mean a, um, an annoying person — to all of them. God knows why they put up with me.”
Raluca was listening intently, her eyes molten silver. Her dragon was very close to the surface. She was feeling something deeply, but he couldn’t tell what it was.
Nick went on, “Where I come from, guys aren’t supposed to show their feelings. That’s weak. It’s not manly. And it could get you killed. Well, some are okay. You can be angry and proud and happy and... uh... oh, yeah, you can be bored. And drunk. Is drunk a feeling?”
Raluca’s lips quivered as if she was trying not to laugh. “It is a feeling. I would not call it an emotion.”
“Then you get the picture. So I want you to know how hard it is for me to say that even though my teammates and I have pissed each other off about a million fucking times, we still...” He forced himself to spit it out. “We still lov
e each other.” Hastily, he added, “Like brothers and sisters. Or best friends. That sort of love. You know, uh...”
Raluca actually smiled. “I understand, Nick. You are not confessing a secret love affair with Rafa.”
“No, but I love him like a brother and I trust him with my life. So I hope you heard me yelling at him the day I met you. Uh, and over the phone. And earlier tonight. It doesn’t mean I hate him. And me being a fucking asshole to you with the rap and lobster and stuff, that doesn’t mean I hate you. It means I have a problem. Me. Not you. And I’m so sorry I took it out on you. If there’s anything I can do to make it right, tell me and I’ll do it.”
“You have apologized,” Raluca said. “I accept it. That is all I require in terms of amends.”
Nick had hoped she’d accept his apology, but she’d spoken so formally, he wasn’t sure if she really forgave him or if she just felt obliged, or if she’d even believed he was sincere.
He tried again. “I’m serious. Destiny says I should take anger management classes, Rafa says I should get the chip on my shoulder surgically removed, Hal says I should take three deep breaths before I open my mouth, Shane doesn’t say anything but he looks at me like — point is, everyone who knows me thinks I need to chill the fuck out. And it fucking kills me to admit it, but they’re right. The chip removal surgery starts now.”
“Truly?” Raluca asked.
“Truly,” Nick repeated, hoping she’d believe him if he used her words. God knew she didn’t like his. He had no idea if it had worked. But since he’d gotten on the honesty kick, he went on, “Remember the world’s biggest hairball?”
“It was unforgettable,” she replied drily.
“Well, tonight was the world’s biggest wake-up call. I didn’t protect you, I broke my cover every time I opened my mouth or touched anything —”