“I wanted to get married but Em said we should wait until we both graduated. I reluctantly agreed. Em was smart. She was doing medicine, so it meant she would still be studying while I was out in the real world, working. But I didn’t mind. I adored Emma. I’d never met anyone like her before. And, for the first time in my life I was in love and I had someone who loved me. As far as I was concerned, life didn’t get any better than that.”
Nicola gave him an understanding smile, and nodded.
“Eventually, the day came and armed with my degree, I got myself a real job, earning real money, but I still worked a couple of nights a week at the restaurant, to bring in extra money to put aside for our future. I finally convinced Em to give up her job at the department store and concentrate on her studies.”
A foghorn boomed out a warning from somewhere as a small motorboat putt-putted up the river. They could hear people laughing across the river where beer bottles clanked and a fire flared under a piece of meat in a barbecue pit, sending sparks rising into the air.
Danny wiped the back of his hand across his eyes.
“Don’t talk about it if you don’t want to, Danny. I understand,” Nicola said.
“No. I’ll be all right, just give me a minute.” He looked up at the black velvet sky where the stars were so low you could almost reach out and touch them.
His eyes were like marbles in a pan of water when he started to speak. “One day I came home and found Emma in bed, she told me she was tired. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I just thought she had probably been overdoing it. She had exams coming up so I knew she was under a lot of pressure. But this went on for over a week and she got big, dark blue circles around her eyes and her skin was pale, and she hardly ate anything. She said food made her feel nauseous. I joked and said she was probably pregnant, thrilled at the prospect, but she assured me she wasn’t. I begged her to marry me, but she insisted we still wait.” Danny’s throat constricted as he heard Emma’s voice speaking to him from the grave.
“Finally I talked her into going and see a doctor. I was still convinced she was pregnant so I took time off work to go with her. I wanted to be there to hear the good news. After weeks of tests we were becoming concerned. Until, finally, we were given the diagnosis. Emma had leukemia.”
Nicola was shocked. She hadn’t expected that. “Oh, Danny, I’m so sorry.”
Danny nodded, and forced himself to continue, “As you could imagine we were both devastated. But the doctors were optimistic so we took comfort in that.” Danny stopped, and gazed up at the sky as though searching for his lost love.
“Emma had chemotherapy,” he said, “a bone marrow transplant, countless blood transfusions, and all kinds of treatment, but in less than a year, she was gone. I was completely destroyed.”
Danny wiped the tears from his cheek with the back of his hand, kissed the top of Nicola’s head and brushed the palm of his hand across her cheek, wanting to feel the warmth of her skin.
“Like me, Em, had no family to speak of, only an elderly grandmother in a small country town who had raised her after her parents had died when she was only four years old. So I took Em back to her brokenhearted grandmother, and we buried her in the small town cemetery beside her mother and father.
“In less than a month, Emma’s grandmother died and I laid her to rest in the old churchyard cemetery, next to our darling girl.”
Nicola was about to say something but Danny stopped her with a shake of his head.
“For more than a year I went through the motions of living, not knowing, not caring what happened to the rest of the world. Every day I had to struggle just to exist. It took me years to recover, but I’ll never really get over losing my little bird. Em was such a dear, sweet, wonderful person and I’ll miss her every day of my life.” A tear slid down his cheek. He reached up and brushed it away with the back of his hand.
“I’m sorry, Nic. I didn’t realize how much it still hurts.”
“Oh, Danny, don’t be sorry, I understand. I’m just sorry I made you relive those painful memories.”
“Don’t blame yourself, Nic. I’ve wanted to tell you but couldn’t seem to find the right moment, until now.”
They sat for a long time in the stillness of the night, as a gentle breeze sent ripples through the grass. And dry leaves swirled and scratched across the asphalt. Overhead the sky was dusted with stars, and the chatter of the night birds could be heard as they settled in the trees. The sound of voices carried through the darkness from distant lights as a haunting tune drifted up to them on the warm, gentle breeze.
Memories are like shadows of the heart…they never leave.
*****
I noticed tears running down Rosie’s cheeks and suddenly became anxious.
“What’s the matter, Hon? Are you in pain? Do you want me to get you something?”
“Oh, Bee, that is so sad.”
“It’s just a story.”
“I know. But it’s so sad,” She wiped her sleeve across her face.
I shook my head in disbelief. “Hon I made it all up. It’s not real!”
“Poor, Danny!”
“Poor Danny! It’s a story for crying out loud. It’s not real. I made it up!” I handed her the box of Kleenex. “Here, blow your nose and stop sniveling.”
Rosie wiped her eyes, blew her nose. Then she looked over at me… and laughed.
“It’s a testament to your ability as a storyteller that you had me believing every word you had written.”
“You are such a sook. I’ll never forget how you cried when Bambi’s mother was killed by the hunter.”
“I know. Whenever I see that movie, I cry.”
“You need to remember none of this is real. It’s only a story. Okay?”
“I know. But you tell it so well.”
“Good grief, woman, give me a break!” There was a sudden shuffling of papers and I noticed Ross’s hand dart out from behind the newspaper and grab a handful of tissues.. There was a very loud sniffle followed by noisy nose blowing. Then Ross cleared his throat a couple more times, and sniffled.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Ross, not you too?”
“I think I’ll just go and make us some tea,” my big burley biker husband with a heart made of putty, said as he dropped his newspaper on the lawn and hurried down the path wiping his eyes and blowing his nose loudly.
“He cried in Bambi too.”
*****
As the season started to change, the nights became crisp even though the days were still warm. The trees were heavy with gold and red leaves where the gentle autumn sun dripped through the branches.
The morning breeze was laced with the smell of distant rain as Danny drove down the narrow country road past an old cemetery where a tumble of late-summer roses cascaded over stone walls all pale and creamy with just a hint of a blush; and moss-covered flagstone paths wound between crumbling lichen-covered headstones where inscriptions had faded long ago. At the back of the cemetery a line of tall pines thrust, like spears towards the sky.
As they drove through the small hamlet not far from the river, they passed a tractor equipment yard where a bank of shiny new snow ploughs were lined up out front in anticipation of the coming winter. Everywhere they looked, autumnal foliage painted the landscape in colors of plum, copper and gold.
When Danny looked at Nicola he could see the steady rise and fall of her chest. The hollow at the base of her throat was in shadows while she gazed out the window and hummed some indistinct tune. Suddenly she was aware of him watching her.
“What?”
“You are so beautiful, Nicola Madison. You take my breath away.”
Nicola felt the heat rise up her throat, bloom across her cheeks, and burn the tips of her ears.
It was easy to see that compliments did not sit comfortably on her.
“No, I’m not, Danny. I might have some nice features, but I’m not beautiful. My mother was beautiful. When she walked into a room, every
head turned. But she only had eyes for my father. She adored him, and Daddy felt the same about her. Daddy was a tall, handsome man with a smile that could melt icebergs.”
“Not unlike my own,” Danny teased, pointing to his mouth fixed in the wide grin of a carnival clown.
“Ha!” Nicola said as she took a playful swipe at him. “Daddy was nothing like you, you preening peacock. Women used to throw themselves at him all the time, but he never noticed them. Some were even openly flirtatious making sure he understood their intentions.”
“As I said … Whoops,” Danny ducked to avoid another playful swipe aimed at his head, and laughed.
Nicola’s eyes flashed, daring him to open his mouth, again. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, we often would laugh when Daddy would recount an incident where one of his patients tried to seduce him, on the examination table, even though there was a nurse in the room.
“My parents loved each other so much nobody else existed, except me.” Nicola fell silent for a while and then added, “So, you see, it’s all in the genes. But no, I’m not beautiful.”
When they stopped for lunch at a restaurant on the outskirts of Hartford a small white Toyota pulled into the parking lot of a Subway across the road. The driver grabbed his cap off the seat and went inside.
* * *
Founded in1638, New Haven, Connecticut, gained notoriety in the late sixties, as the place where James Morrison, the lead singer of The Doors, was arrested…
*****
“Did you know New Haven was where the first Doctorate of Medicine was awarded–to a man who never practiced medicine?” Rosie said.
“No. I didn’t know that. Never practiced medicine, you said?”
“No. Never.”
“When was that?”
“Some time in the early seventeen hundreds, I think.”
“Well, can’t say I find that particularly interesting, but you would wonder why he’d bother to get his Doctorate if he wasn’t going to use it.”
Ross wandered into the room and placed a tray of sandwiches and fresh cut slices of fruit on the table next to the bed.
I looked up and smiled. “Thank you, Ross.”
“Do you girls want to have your tea now?”
“Hon?”
“Can I just have some juice, please Ross?”
“Sure, Hon. What would you like? I got some fresh apples and melons from Whole Foods this morning I can juice.”
“That sounds really yummy.”
“What about you, love?”
“I’ll have some too, thanks, Ross.”
“I bought a couple of punnets of fresh strawberries this morning–big, plump, juicy ones. I plan to make strawberry shortcake for dessert but I’ve got more than enough so I’ll add a couple to the juice.” As he headed for the kitchen I heard him whistling.
“What a man,” Rosie said when he was out of earshot. “Maybe he just wanted to show off,” she added as she checked the filling in the sandwich and took a bite. “Yum, this is good.”
For the life of me I couldn’t follow her line of thinking. “Who? Ross? He always makes his own juice. He likes to make sure you get everything fresh with no preservatives.”
Rosie looked at me, frown lines creasing her forehead. “I don’t mean, Ross. I’m talking about the guy with the medical degree. Sometimes I wonder where your head is at, Bubbie.”
I shrugged, and took a bite of my sandwich. It tasted real good.
“Bubbie, did you know New Haven was the place where Eli Whitney perfected the cotton gin, and Noah Webster compiled his first dictionary,” she said between bites.
“I knew New Haven was the town where Samuel Colt invented the revolver.”
She cocked a finger in my direction, like firing a gun and said, “It was also the place where the first telephone switchboard was made?” Then she took brinkmanship up a notch by adding, “It was also reputed to be the place where the first hamburger was made, and the toy on every dog’s Christmas wish list, the Frisbee, made its first appearance.”
Okay. I admit she’s the winner. But I’m not a bad loser, so I said, “You really do know your American history, Hon.”
“You’d be surprised what I know.”
“When it comes to you, kiddo, nothing surprises me. Never has. Never will.”
*****
...Not only is New Haven a place rich in culture, it’s the home of one of the world’s most prestigious universities –Yale.
It was also the place where Danny had arranged to meet up another one of his old friends later that night.
* * *
After they had checked into their room at the Marriott Hotel on Whalley Street, they wandered around the old university town looking at buildings and churches. Ancient bells tolled from tall steeples as they strolled hand in hand across the New Haven Green where they spent a lazy afternoon soaking up the sun. When the sun dipped below the horizon and the chill night air settled around them, fairy-lights, strung through the trees, cast a warm glow, adding to the magic of the town.
They ate an early supper on the terrace of a restaurant in Chapel Street and watched the streets come alive with people as the moon spread its pale cloak over the town. A little after nine they wandered back to the hotel.
Danny was standing in front of the mirror finger combing his hair when he noticed Nicola watching him. He smiled at her reflection and wandered over to the bed where she was lying, leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
“I won’t be late,” he promised, grabbed his cap off the dresser and hurried out the door.
*****
Ross looked up from the bench where he was chopping vegetables and smiled as we walked into the room.
“Have you girls been out shopping?” he asked.
“No!” I tried to hide the bag behind my back. It wasn’t easy. It was a big bag. I’d managed to keep it hidden behind the front seat of the car for a couple of day shopping to drop it off at Goodwill first chance I got, but Rosie found it and made me bring it inside.
“No? Then what’s that you’re holding behind your back?” he asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing, just a gift from some of the girls,” I said with a dismissive wave and formed my lips in a tight little moue.
Ross wiped his hands on a cloth, reached behind me and took hold of the bag coaxing it from the tight curl of my fingers. He held it aloft, and read out the name. “Mr. Pierre’s Haute Couture. That sounds very high class to me?”
“Believe me, it’s not,” I said and snatched the bag back.
Rosie, watching the exchange with bemusement, said, “Go put them on, Bubbie. I’m sure Ross would love to see what the girls bought you.”
Fratricide, I wanted to remind her, but as Ross was watching I said, instead, “Dinner’s probably ready. I’ll put it in the bedroom and show Ross later.”
Ross grinned. “Dinner won’t be ready for at least another hour so there’s plenty of time for a fashion parade. Go put them on. I’m dying to see what your friend bought you.”
“Fashion parade? Halloween more like it,” I harrumphed.
Rosie didn’t even try to hide the amused derision in her voice when she said, “Come on Bee, I’ll give you a hand.”
As we headed for the guestroom, we passed Cody on his way to the kitchen.
“Hi Cody, what are you up to?” I asked, planning to tarry as long as I could.
“Oh, hi Aunty Bee, I’m just going to see if Uncle Ross could drive me down to Pizza Hut to meet a couple of the guys, then we’re going to Northgate Mall to see a movie.”
I grabbed Cody by the arm and propelled him towards the door. “No need to bother your uncle, Cody. He’s busy cooking dinner. I’ll drive you wherever you want to go.”
“Oh that would be great, Aunty Bee.”
“Not a problem. Dinner won’t be ready for a while.” I hustled Cody out the door saying, “I’ll grab a cup of coffee and wait in the car and then drive you and your friends to Northg
ate. It’s only forty minutes each way. I’ll even spring for pizza and a movie. And be sure to give me a call if you want me to pick you up later. I can drop your friends off as well.”
TWENTY-SEVEN
When I walked into the room, Ross looked up from the magazine he’d been reading, and grinned. On the bed lay the shopping bag I thought I had hidden in the bottom of the closet.
Ross put the magazine down and held up the bag. “What does it say on the bottom, I don’t have my contacts in?”
I pretended to scrutinize the text closely even though I knew exactly what it said.
“For the woman, who knows what she wants,” I mumbled and feigned interest in my nails, studying each finger with the precision of a brain surgeon.
“Did you say, for the woman who knows what she wants?”
“Mm...,” I chewed on a hangnail giving it more attention than a hand-model would.
Ross grinned. “Well then, are you going to show me what you want?”
“No, no. It’s nothing. It was just a small gift. I didn’t choose it.”
“From one of your many fans?” He left the question hanging in the air.
I thought about our friend, Mr. Takamura’s reaction to the outfit–and blushed. “Don’t be silly. It’s just something a couple of the girls bought for me. A silly gift. It was a joke,” I said, trying to pass it off as something trivial.
“Well why don’t you put them on so we can share the joke together?”
“Not tonight. I’m tired.” I picked the bag up and tossed it into the bottom of the closet.
Ross leaned down and removed it. “Now you’ve got me really curious,” he said as he upended the bag and watched the contents spill across the bed in a splash of color.
“Well, well, what do we have here?” Ross said as he picked up the pink top, inspected it; then the orange bra. I could see he was trying not to laugh as he picked up the lime-colored Lycra pants and held them up, turning them this way and that.
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