‘Mary Rose, with respect I think I have more idea what I’m talking about than you do. I do actually live in England, you know.’
‘Some of the time,’ said Mary Rose with her frostiest smile. ‘And my book on the art heritage of the eighteenth century took me inside a great many English houses. It seemed to me that the ones still in private hands had preserved a mystique, a personal quality, a sense of care that was quite gone from places like Blenheim. Of course it was an extremely subtle thing –’
‘Yes, well subtlety doesn’t pay bills,’ said Baby. He was very drunk.
‘Paying bills isn’t everything,’ said Alexander.
‘I thought,’ said Baby, ‘that’s why you were here.’
‘Well at least the house would be safe,’ said Virginia quickly. ‘If you – we did open it to the public. I would have thought that was what mattered.’
‘You don’t understand, do you?’ said Alexander, and she shrank slightly from the great darkness behind his eyes. ‘You just don’t understand. It’s just a place to you, just a building and some land.’
‘And what is it to you?’ said Virginia. She felt suddenly violently angry. ‘I can see it’s very beautiful, that it’s a marvellous thing to own, to pass to your children. I can see that’s important to you. But what would change if you charged a few people to go round it every now and again? I’d have thought you’d have liked that, showing it off.’
‘Sometimes,’ he said, ‘I think you’re jealous of Hartest. Of how I feel about it. It’s the only explanation I can find for your attitude.’
Virginia stared at him. She was flushed.
‘Mary Rose,’ said Baby hastily, ‘coffee, do you think? In the drawing room? It’s getting very late.’
Alexander left for England the next day. Virginia stayed to tie up some problems on her latest project, then left two days before Easter. She said she had promised Alexander and the children to spend it with them.
When she got to Heathrow, Harold Tallow was waiting for her at the airport.
‘Tallow! I was expecting my husband. And possibly even the children.’
‘Charlotte and Max are in the car, madam, with Nanny. I have a letter for you from Lord Caterham.’
‘A letter! Good gracious, how formal. Just wait a moment, Tallow, and let me read it.’
She read it in silence. Tallow watching her saw a red flush sweep up her face from her neck; and then a few moments later, she turned very pale. Then she smiled at him, a quick, bright smile.
‘Right. Let’s go and find the children. I hope they’ve been good.’
‘Very good, my lady.’
They approached the car; Max burst out of it and hurled himself at her.
‘Mummy, Mummy, you look beautiful, what have you brought me?’
He always said that, and it always made her laugh.
‘A stetson, Max, that’s what I brought you, a real ten-gallon hat like they wear in Texas. Charlotte, my darling, you’ve grown so much taller! And thinner! I told you you would. Oh, you look so pretty. But I think the jeans I got you in Bloomies will be too short. And too loose. Never mind, it’s a nice problem. Give me a kiss. Nanny, hallo, how are you?’
‘Very well thank you, madam,’ said Nanny. ‘It has been rather cold of course, but Max has been very good.’
‘Good,’ said Virginia, slightly uncertain, as always when confronted by Nanny’s non sequiturs, which one to respond to. ‘Oh, I’m looking forward to getting home. We’ve been circling round Heathrow for over an hour, trying to land. I hope you knew that and haven’t been waiting all this extra time.’
‘We checked, my lady,’ said Tallow. ‘They told us you were delayed.’ Charlottee looked at her mother critically. ‘You’re terribly thin, Mummy.
And you look tired.’
‘Burning the candle at both ends, I daresay,’ said Nanny sternly. ‘Like his lordship.’
‘Well a bit, maybe,’ said Virginia. ‘But anyway, I’m home now. And Lord Caterham is away, I understand.’
‘Yes, madam.’ Nanny’s face was expressionless. ‘He went to see his mother yesterday.’
‘And took Georgina with him?’
‘Yes indeed, madam.’
‘Isn’t that amazing, Mummy? All these years and Granny never sets eyes on any of us, and then suddenly out of the blue, she phoned and asked to meet Georgina. And –’ Charlotte paused for maximum effect –‘and Max and I are going next week. Did you know that?’
‘No,’ said Virginia. ‘No, I didn’t.’ She leant against the window suddenly; Nanny looked at her sharply.
‘Are you all right, madam? Is it that lagging you’re feeling?’
‘Jet lag, Nanny. Yes, I think it is. I’ll be all right. Charlotte, when did this happen? This invitation to stay with your grandmother?’
‘Daddy phoned this morning. He said she liked Georgina so much she wanted to look at me and Max. I can’t wait. She lives in a castle, you know, a real one, with turrets.’
‘How exciting! Well, I shall be waiting with bated breath to hear about it all. I shall have you here for a few days, though, shall I?’
‘Well – yes. Sort of. I’ve been invited to stay with Joanna Lavenham for the weekend. Is that all right? Daddy said it would be. But Max will be here.’
‘That’s fine,’ said Virginia automatically. Her head was beginning to ache.
Easter without the children was bleak. The house seemed large and very silent. Virginia wandered about trying to work, and determinedly staying cheerful. It was only a few days, she told herself. After all, she often left them. It was probably unreasonable to expect them to be sitting waiting for her all the time.
On Monday, Georgina phoned.
‘Mummy! It’s wonderful here. Granny is really nice, not like we all thought at all. She’s quite young-looking really, and guess what, she has a pony for each of us. We did the Easter egg hunt in Granny’s woods yesterday with her dogs helping. They’re lurchers, not very nice to look at, but very clever. One of the bitches is in whelp and Granny says I can have one of the puppies. Tomorrow we’re going fishing. Hang on, Max wants to talk to you.’ (Much giggling in the background.) ‘Mummy, sorry, he doesn’t, Granny’s cook has just called him, he’s going to help her make the supper. Oh, it’s brilliant here. I wish we’d come before. See you next week. Bye, Mummy.’
‘Mummy? It’s Charlotte. Yes, it’s just the best fun. Granny is really really nice. I’ve got a lovely room, overlooking the loch, and I’ve got a four-poster bed. Look, would you mind if we stayed another week? The thing is Granny has organized a bit of what she calls a jolly at the weekend, asked lots of people over, lots of people my age, it’s going to be brilliant. You don’t mind, do you? Daddy sends his love. No, he’s out now, fishing. He’s terribly good at fishing.’
‘Virginia? How are you? Not too lonely? Good. Yes, they seem to love it. They’re getting on very well indeed with Mother. She says she should have invited them years ago. What? No, I really don’t think she’s quite ready for you. But give her time. Look, I completely forgot to tell you and I’m terribly sorry, a Miss Ward phoned, the day you were getting back. She wanted you to ring her. She said it wasn’t urgent, but she wanted to discuss her rugs. Would that be right? I really do apologize for not telling you. But she’s probably phoned you herself by now. She hasn’t? Oh well, you’d better ring her. I’m so sorry. Yes I’m all right. Worried of course. Desperately worried. It’s so sad your father won’t help. What’s that? Virginia, I’m afraid I don’t see that as help. I’m sorry. No, I know you can’t influence him. You keep telling me that. I’m afraid I feel very alone in all this. Look, I have to go. Goodbye, Virginia. See you soon.’
She had never heard him so cold, so distant.
Susannah Ward was very cool when Virginia phoned her.
‘I’m sorry, Virginia, but I simply couldn’t wait. I thought I made it plain to whoever it was I spoke to that it was urgent.’
Arrogant bitch, thought Virg
inia. She clearly hadn’t, Alexander was always painstakingly careful about messages. ‘So I’ve gone ahead and chosen the rugs myself, and now I’ve had a chance to think carefully about them, I can see they don’t quite tone with the wall colour you proposed. So I’m deepening that a little, and I’m taking a further look at the fabric for the blinds as well. It’s a pity, but there it is. I did tell you at the beginning I was in a great hurry to get this done.’
‘I’m very sorry,’ said Virginia more humbly than the situation probably allowed.
She put the phone down and went for a long walk. It wasn’t a great deal of fun; Alexander had even taken the dogs with him.
Later she ate lunch and then tea alone. It was at times like this that she most longed for a drink. She drove into the village and bought some chocolates and some French cigarettes. When she was low, she needed such things.
She decided to talk to Catriona Dunbar. Catriona had been urging her for months, on and off, to come onto her Riding for the Disabled Ball committee; Alexander had been urging her to do it, she had told him she didn’t have the time. ‘You would have time if you were around here a bit more.’ Suddenly even that seemed a more attractive prospect. At least it would mean she could go over and see Catriona, have lunch maybe.
Catriona’s voice was guarded, cautious. ‘Oh, Virginia. Hallo.’
‘Hi, Catriona. How are you?’
‘Frightfully well, Virginia, thank you.’
‘Er – Catriona, I’m ringing about the Riding for the Disabled.’
‘Oh – yes?’
She sounded very cool. Had she been that difficult about it, Virginia wondered. ‘Well, Catriona, if it’s not too late, I really would quite like –’
‘Virginia, I’m frightfully sorry, but it is too late. We don’t have unlimited time, you know. The Ball is in September, and Jennifer Compton Smith has joined us now.’
‘Oh. Oh, I see. Well, if there’s any small thing I can do.’
‘Yes, well thank you, Virginia. Jolly nice. Look, I have to go, Martin and I are going to a point-to-point.’
‘I couldn’t –’
‘come with you?’ she had been going to say, suddenly and slightly foolishly hungry for company; then she hauled herself up. She wasn’t that bad and Catriona was clearly feeling the opposite of friendly. She hadn’t realized there had been a time limit on the wretched committee, and anyway, she was sure she’d told Catriona she’d give her an answer when she got back at Easter. God, these women and their minutiae-filled lives.
‘Sorry, Virginia. Must dash.’
‘Bye, Catriona.’
She put the phone down rather slowly. Silly bitch. What a fuss about absolutely nothing at all. Jennifer Compton Smith was welcome to it all. Thank God she had a career to occupy her. She decided to go to London for the day and do some shopping, and go and see a couple of people. She and Alexander had met a woman called Anne Lygon at a cocktail party just before she’d gone to New York, a property developer who’d asked her to come to see her about doing a show flat in a new development in the City. It was a very nice high-profile job and she’d been excited about it. She’d done some preliminary sketches in an entirely new mould for her, the currently buzzy high-tech style, all perspex and stainless steel mesh and black and white, which Anne had liked, and asked her to develop; she decided to ring her.
‘Anne? This is Virginia Caterham. Look, I’m in London today and I have some more ideas; I’d love to come and see you about them. Would that be convenient?’
Anne Lygon sounded polite but guarded. ‘Well, Virginia, I’m very busy today.’
‘That’s OK, I didn’t expect you to drop everything for me.’ She struggled to keep her voice light and amused, to staunch the creeping sensation of chill in her stomach. ‘I could come tomorrow or even Friday.’
Anne sounded embarrassed. ‘Look, Virginia, I’m sorry, but I really don’t think this is going to work out. I’m sorry. I really do have to proceed very fast now, and I was hoping to have got further down the line with you. Another time, maybe.’
‘Yes,’ said Virginia, not even trying any more to keep her voice from bleakness. ‘Yes of course. Goodbye, Anne.’
‘Goodbye, Virginia.’ Anne Lygon sounded relieved.
She went to London and spent a great deal of money on a new mink coat. If Alexander was short of six million, three thousand wasn’t going to make much difference.
Charlotte had telephoned from her grandmother’s, and left a message asking her mother to ring back. Virginia had never rung the number before, it was an eerie feeling. She hoped Alexander’s mother wouldn’t answer the phone. That would be awful. She would just have to ring off. Virginia realized suddenly she was shaking slightly. She put the phone down quickly, mid-dial, and lit a cigarette. That was better. She redialled. A male Scottish voice answered the phone.
‘Kinloch Castle.’
‘Good morning. May I speak to Lady Charlotte Welles, please?’
‘May I ask who is calling?’
‘It’s Lady Caterham. Her mother.’
‘One moment, Lady Caterham.’
She waited, tapping her fingers on the table, looking round the room, newly aware of it, studying the ornate carvings on the cornices, the perfect lines of the fireplace; occasionally, just very occasionally, she could see why Alexander loved the house so much. She must try to help him more with it, with everything. She hadn’t been much use to him lately.
‘Lady Caterham?’
‘Yes?’ She hadn’t expected this, not to speak to Charlotte.
‘Lady Caterham, I am so sorry, but the children have gone.’
‘Gone.’ The word seemed oddly threatening. She realized she was panicking, quite illogically. ‘What do you mean gone?’
‘Well, Lady Caterham, they have gone away for two or three days. Lord Caterham and the Dowager Lady Caterham have taken them on a trip to some of the islands. They should be back by Saturday.’
‘Oh,’ said Virginia. ‘Oh, I see. Well – well I expect my daughter just wanted to tell me that.’
‘Yes, my lady, I expect so.’ The voice was soothing, oddly patronizing. She felt irritated.
‘Well, when they return, please tell them I called.’
‘Yes, Lady Caterham. Of course.’
She put the phone down, chilled. They all seemed rather lost to her suddenly. Then she shook herself. That was ridiculous. They would all be home in another five days or so. She would just make herself a very strong coffee. She lit one of the French cigarettes and went down the hall to the kitchen door.
There was only one thing for it, really. She had hung on for the rest of the day, she had smoked, drunk coffee, eaten a whole box of chocolates, but in the end it seemed just the only, blindingly obvious thing to do. Have a drink. Just one. Only one. To ease the pain and the loneliness and the hurt.
What a nightmare week. Everything, everything gone wrong. The children away, apparently under the spell of their grandmother; a client upset, the job with Anne Lygon cancelled, even her friendship with Catriona on the rocks. It was horrible. Horrible. And always there, underneath it all, the nagging awful fear about Hartest and the money, and Alexander’s dreadful, alienating misery. And there was no one, nothing to turn to. Except – except a drink. The one friend she had always had. It had suddenly become the only thing she could think about. Comforting, consoling, soothing; anaesthetizing pain, stilling anxiety. So accessible, so undemanding.
Red wine, that’s what she wanted. Un-iced champagne wouldn’t be cold enough, and she wouldn’t be able to have just one glass of champagne, it would be a waste. She could cork the red wine up, keep it maybe until dinner tomorrow. She picked out a bottle of claret, tucked it under her arm, and went quietly upstairs again. There were plenty of corkscrews in Alexander’s study, she could get one from there.
His study was cold, creepily tidy and impersonal. It was as if no one had ever used it. She took a corkscrew off the tray, went along the corridor to her room, and
locked the door behind her.
She no longer cared about the children going off without her, or whether she was losing all her clients. She felt excited, exalted even. She felt as if she was going to meet some long-lost lover. Well, perhaps not lover. Friend. Her heart was beating very hard. She sat down on the bed, drew the cork, poured a very small amount of the wine into the tumbler from her bathroom. She sat and looked at it for a moment, thinking, waiting. Then she raised the glass and took a small, contemplative sip.
When they came home, the children and Alexander, swooping down the Great Drive in the Daimler, she was out on the steps waiting for them, her eyes full of tears of pleasure. She was almost drunk.
When she saw Charlotte and Georgina off to school – Georgina off bravely to board for the first term – giving in to Alexander’s suggestion that he should drive them there and leave her to do some work, she said goodbye to them and went upstairs and got drunk.
And when Max had gone back to school too, to his little pre-prep school in Marlborough and had hugged her goodbye at the gate and said, ‘Soon I shall be away at boarding school too, I can’t wait,’ she drove up to London, to the house in Eaton Place, and stayed there for twenty-four hours, twelve hours drinking and twelve hours trying to sober up. And then another twelve, and then another.
In the end Alexander came to find her; he looked at her, sadly loving, and said, ‘Come along, darling. Let me take you home.’
And then there was treatment, therapy, a short spell in the clinic, and home – safe, she thought – but then Alexander had to go away for a few days, to talk to people about the house, and it was so quiet, so lonely, so frighteningly lonely she got drunk again.
And while she was drunk, hopelessly drunk, Baby phoned; Alexander had suggested he did, just to cleer her up, had said he knew she missed him and that she was alone; and she was weeping with happiness, babbling down the phone, and she didn’t realize how quiet he was at the other end, and how he said goodbye rather suddenly.
Alexander was still worried, still distracted about Hartest, about money; he said that after all, maybe, he would have to open it to the public. He said nothing would ever persuade him it was the right thing to do, but it was beginning to seem the only thing to do. Virginia offered to sell all her shares but he said it simply wasn’t worth it. ‘It wouldn’t even sort out the walls.’
Wicked Pleasures Page 20