“So, kid. Who was the lady you weren’t very nice to in your dad’s office?” Belinda asked, remembering the fit-looking blonde who looked like she wanted to have a side of Carter for dinner.
She seemed like Carter’s type. Sweet face. Big blue eyes. Looked like she ate organic food, jogged for fun, and did Pilates on a regular basis. She was the exact opposite of Belinda.
“Molly,” Ruby responded like it was a dirty word.
She laughed. “I take it you don’t like her?”
“No. She keeps asking to cook for my daddy.”
Ah, so little Miss Ruby was jealous. “You know, your daddy is a very handsome man. Ladies are going to want to cook dinner for him and take him out and even kiss him. It’s never going to stop. You might as well get used to it.”
“He told me he wants to date.” She frowned.
“Oh?”
“I told him I was gonna think about it.”
Belinda suppressed a smile. Talking to Ruby was like talking to an adult, only Ruby was a little smarter than most of the adults she knew. “Your daddy never dated in San Francisco?”
She knew she was prying. She knew it was wrong to pump information from a five-year-old, but she was curious about his past four years.
“No. He was at work all the time.”
“But not anymore, right? That’s why you came to Durant?”
She nodded. “He still works a lot but now he lets me work with him. I draw pictures of houses just like him.”
“You shouldn’t work so hard. You’ll get gray hair.”
Ruby shrugged. “I’ll get some dye.”
Ruby slid her small hand into Belinda’s as they approached the sidewalk, causing Belinda to jump.
“What are you doing?”
“Holding your hand.” She looked up at her as if it was obvious.
“I know that, but why are you holding my hand?”
“Because grown-ups are supposed to hold kids’ hands when they cross the street.”
Duh, Belinda.
“I guess you’re right.” She allowed Ruby to slide her little soft fingers between hers. It was a weird sensation. She had never held hands with a child before. It was something she’d never thought she would do because she wasn’t particularly fond of children.
But Ruby was okay. Her hands were clean and she didn’t seem like a nose picker. Besides, it was good practice, she told herself as they made it safely across the street. Cherri’s baby was going to grow up and she was planning to be a super aunt. Hand-holding and all. She needed to get used to spending time around kids.
They walked into the Fro Yo Fortress, which was actually not very fortress-like at all with its strawberry-printed walls and cotton-candy-colored seats. A plethora of tattooed, pierced, and multicolor-haired college students staffed the registers. Belinda watched as Ruby took it all in.
“Hi, guys!” A green-haired girl walked up to them. “Welcome to the Fortress. We currently have forty-five yummy flavors available. Our newest is tiramisu. My all-time favorite is peaches and cream topped with piecrust and graham cracker crumbs, but you can go wild and when you’re finished bring it to the front. We’ll weigh and you’ll pay.”
“All right, baby doll.” She looked down at Ruby. “You heard her. Go crazy.”
Ruby rested her head on Belinda’s thigh. The contact jolted Belinda. “I don’t know what to do,” she said quietly.
Crap. Belinda felt that stupid tiny little tug in her chest as she looked down at her. “It’s okay.” She ran her hand over Ruby’s messy curls. “We’ll do it together.”
Ten minutes later Belinda and Ruby snagged a booth in front of the window. She thought Ruby was going to get bubble gum or cotton candy or some kind of kid-friendly flavor but she got exactly what Belinda got. Strawberry yogurt with fresh fruit on top.
“Do you like it? You know you could have gotten candy on it if you wanted to. You didn’t have to get fruit.”
“I know, but I like it like this. Thank you for buying it for me.”
“You’re welcome. You know, I’ve never been out with a kid before. What do you want to talk about?”
“You and Daddy,” she said immediately.
“Oh?” She couldn’t tell the kid no. It seemed wrong to keep her completely in the dark. She had to be curious. “What do you want to know?”
“Daddy says you aren’t going to be his wife much longer.”
“No. Not very much longer.”
“Why not?”
She blinked at Ruby. How could she explain why she and Carter were getting divorced when she could barely understand it herself?
“So he can date other ladies.”
Ruby shook her head. “I think you should stay his wife then.”
“Ruby…” She laughed uncomfortably.
“Hey, Belinda.” Douglas Jackson stopped at their table. He was one of the guys she had dated the past year. They had only been out once. One unforgettable time. Mr. Jackson was the founding member of the I-Like-To-Grope-Boobies-When-I-Go-In-For-A-Kiss club. Belinda had nearly slapped the taste out of his mouth that night.
“Hey, Douglas,” she said, turning her attention back to Ruby. She had no wish to converse with the man.
“I haven’t seen you for a while. How’ve you been?”
Apparently he was as bad at reading body language as he was at being a good date.
“I’m fine.” She wanted to leave it at that, but her good manners wouldn’t allow her to stop there. “And you?”
He grinned at her and leaned over, pressing both of his hands on the table. “I’ve got a lot of things going on; if you come out with me again I can tell you about them.”
Belinda stared up at him. He couldn’t honestly think that she would ever, ever go out with him again after the last time.
“She can’t go out with you,” Ruby said. “She’s married to my daddy.”
They both looked at Ruby. Belinda wondered if it would be too much if she kissed the little girl’s feet.
“You’re m-married?”
“Yup, and this is my stepdaughter, Ruby.”
“Oh.” He stood up straight. “Hello, Ruby. Aren’t you a cute little chunky thing?”
Belinda’s hackles went up. “Don’t call her that.”
“Call her what?”
“A chunky little thing. What the hell is wrong with you? Nobody meets you for the first time and says, Hey, Doug. Aren’t you a cute little balding thing? Or What a great beer belly you got going on there. Can’t you just say it’s nice to meet you and not comment on her weight or looks? If she were a boy you wouldn’t have done that. If she were a boy you would have said Hey, champ, and left it at that. But that’s the problem with this world. People say stupid things without thinking of the long-term implications. She’s perfect as she is, chunky or not, and I don’t need you or anybody else making her doubt that.”
“Whoa.” He put his hands up in defense. “I knew you were feisty but who knew you would turn into a mama bear? I didn’t mean anything by it. Congrats on the marriage.”
He walked out and Belinda sat there still feeling her blood boil. Why couldn’t she ever control her mouth? It wasn’t like Ruby needed defending … but she did. Only it wasn’t Belinda’s place to do so. It was like her brain and her voice were never fully connected.
A little warm body pressed against her, distracting her from her mental berating. Belinda looked down to see Ruby kneeling next to her in the booth.
“What are you doing?” She was horrified as she watched Ruby lift her arms.
“Giving you a hug.”
“Ew no. Don’t touch me. You’ve got kid germs and you’re all sticky.”
Ruby ignored her, wrapping her arms around Belinda’s neck. “You just got really mad.”
Ruby patted her back, and for some reason Belinda felt comforted.
Comforted by your soon-to-be-ex’s five-year-old. You need mental help.
“Yeah, I shouldn’t have.”
> “Why did you?”
“Because when I was a kid people use to call me chubby and chunky and fatty and pudgy and every other name in the book and I didn’t like it. I don’t want people to do that to you.”
Ruby kissed her cheek and patted her back once more. “It’s okay, Belinda. Eat your yogurt.”
Belinda did eat her yogurt, with Ruby leaning against her side like it was totally normal, like Belinda wasn’t a near stranger to her, like she wasn’t the woman who was about to divorce her father. It almost felt comfortable.
Which was wrong. There would be no more bonding. No more outings. No more liking the kid. She had a life to get on with. And she was going to start right now.
CHAPTER 11
Just the way you are …
“I would kill for this dress,” Maggie, one of the salesgirls, said to Belinda as they dressed a mannequin a few days later.
“It is kind of amazing,” Belinda agreed. “When I saw it I knew we had to carry it in our store. Never in a million years would I have put pink and tangerine in the same dress, but the way this designer did the color blocking across the waist and bust is exquisite. Normally I try to only carry female plus-sized designers, but this guy knows a woman’s body.”
“Does he want to be a woman?” Maggie asked with a raised brow.
“No.” She smiled. “I was surprised to find that Alexander is one hundred percent straight. His father was a tailor so he learned how to sew, but then he started to make clothes he wanted to see his girlfriends in.”
“Did you say Alexander?” Maggie left Belinda and went behind the counter. “This box came for you yesterday from Alexander Dreyer. Is that the same guy?”
“Yes.” Belinda took the box from Maggie. “I wonder what this is. He already sent me all the stock.”
The bell over the door sounded, alerting them that somebody was entering the shop. It wasn’t a customer, though. Carmina, Cherri, and Cherri’s son Joey walked through the door, both adults holding large coffees in their hands.
“Mamá? Cherri? Were you together?”
“Yes, Pudge,” Carmina said as she kissed Belinda’s cheeks. “We had breakfast this morning at Sunny Side Up. Have you ever had their pancakes? They have many different kinds, chocolate chip, and blueberry—they even have French toast pancakes. And they come with eggs and hash browns. It was so much. You shouldn’t go there very often though, Pudge. The food will sit in your tummy all day and you will get sleepy. You always get sleepy after you eat too much.” Carmina ran her fingers through Belinda’s hair. “Your hair looks very good today. Have you tried the conditioning masque I gave you?”
“Not yet,” she said distractedly as she glanced from her mother to Cherri, who looked more innocent than usual. “Do you two have breakfast together often? Or was this something you just decided to start doing.”
“I don’t have a mother to talk to, Belinda. And now that I have Joey I just wanted to talk to somebody who has been through this before. You don’t mind, do you?”
“No. Of course I don’t.” She was being paranoid. It made sense that Cherri would want to speak to an experienced mother about things. But she secretly wondered if her friends and family were up to something. “Do you know Maggie, Mamá? She’s one of our new sales associates.”
Maggie smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Gordon.” She turned back to Belinda. “Do you want me to put this box in your office?”
“No. I want to open it now. Maybe Alexander sent me a sample. I would love to carry more of his work. I found this great new designer,” she explained to Cherri and her mother as she ripped open the box. “What the hell?”
She stared at the wispy pieces of fabric that the box contained.
“What’s in the box?” Cherri asked.
“Garters.” She pulled out the black lace. “And tiny panties. And…” She looked up at them. “A leopard-print bustier. There’s a note, too.”
“Don’t leave us hanging, Pudge!” Carmina clapped her hands. “This is so exciting. What does it say?”
“‘After we met I couldn’t get the image of you wearing this out of my head. Please don’t take this as a come-on, but as a token of my appreciation for your perfect beauty.’” Belinda snorted and tossed the note back in the box. “This guy is so full of it.”
“I think you should try it on,” Maggie said surprising her.
“What? No way.”
“Oh, come on, Pudge. Let us see what the nice man sent for you. It’s nice to be a muse, no?”
“Yeah,” Cherri added. “The store just opened. You won’t get any customers for at an hour. Try it on and if you really like it, maybe you can send him a very personal thank-you.”
“Cherri!”
“Oh, don’t be such a prude,” Carmina said. “I don’t know why Americans are so uptight about these things.”
“I’m not uptight! I don’t know what has gotten into you all today.”
“Just go.” Her mother shoved the box toward her and pushed her toward the dressing room.
It had been a long time since she had played dress-up, Belinda thought as she took her dress off. It had been a long time since she had worn lingerie. She could still remember the last time she did. It was for Carter. He bought her a blush-pink chemise and little matching underwear. She remembered how he looked at her when she put it on for him and how he stared at her as he peeled it off five minutes later. She felt sexier in that soft pink than she ever would in leopard print and black satin.
Hollowness filled her for a moment. If she didn’t know any better she would think that she missed him. But that couldn’t be right, especially after their last tense meeting. They were totally wrong for each other and they proved it each time they were in the room together.
“Belinda?” she heard Cherri call.
“I’m coming. I’m coming. Let me just put my shoes back on.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s—”
“What?” Belinda opened the dressing room door and posed with her hand on her hip. Maggie, her mother, and Cherri stared at her with open mouths. “Damn, I know it’s a little tight in the chest but I don’t think it looks that bad.” It was Cherri’s head that swiveled first. Belinda turned, too, to see Carter, the man she was just thinking about—the man who was always on her mind—standing there.
*
Carter stood outside the doors of Size Me Up. He hadn’t meant to come here, he wasn’t planning on it, but Belinda had been on his mind constantly since he last saw her. He kept seeing in his mind her half-naked body sprawled across his backseat the afternoon of the rainstorm, and he kept remembering how she felt and how she responded to him. He might have been able to ignore all that—he knew his attraction to Belinda was something that was never going to go away—but he also kept seeing her walk hand in hand with Ruby. He kept thinking about how natural they looked together, how happy his daughter had been when she returned to him that afternoon. She was bubbly.
It was almost like he was seeing someone else’s kid. If half an hour with Belinda could do that to her, he thought about how life might have been if she stayed, if they had raised her together. And a little bit of that anger toward Belinda that he thought he set aside had resurfaced.
If she had stayed, their lives could have been so different.
He walked through the doors, still not sure what he was going to say when he saw her. He had been past the shop countless times since he had moved here, but he’d never been in. He hadn’t known that it was Belinda’s store until she gave him her card. But even if she never told him, he would know. He could see signs of her all over the place, from the paint colors to the soft scent of lavender. It all read Belinda.
“Oh. Hello.”
He heard and noticed the three women and the small child who were staring at him.
“Hello.” He recognized the blonde immediately. She was with Belinda that day in the park. He could tell by the stunned look on her face that he was the last person she’d expec
ted to see there.
“I came to speak to Belinda,” he said, not knowing what else to say.
The blonde and the equally tall, dark-haired woman exchanged looks. His memory triggered. Carmina Del Torro. Now Mrs. Gordon. Belinda’s mother. He had never met the woman. He had planned to. They were planning to fly out to New York, just three days after Belinda left.
He stared at his motherin-law for a moment. She was very beautiful: tall, elegant, slender, all the things Belinda said she was not. But he could see Belinda in her mother. The same cheekbones, same eyes, same softly rounded nose.
“Belinda?” the blonde called. The three women looked at the dressing room door and then back at him.
“I’m coming. I’m coming. Just let me put my shoes on.”
“No. It’s not that. It’s—”
“What?” Belinda opened the dressing room door and came and posed with her hand on her hip. Leopard and black satin, garters and stockings on a too-lush curvy body. He had seen her in far less, but his mouth watered.
Shit.
His thoughts evaporated.
His pants grew a little tighter.
“Damn, ladies. I know it’s a little tight in the chest but I don’t think it looks so bad that it calls for speechlessness.”
“I don’t think it’s tight in the chest,” he said after a moment. “I think some people would pay good money to see you in that.”
She looked up at him, her mouth dropping slightly, an adorable red flush covering her cheeks.
“You do look fabulous, Pudge,” Carmina said softly.
“Yes, she does.” The third woman rushed forward, took a silky pink robe off a hanger, and tossed it to Belinda. “But this would look so nice over it.”
Belinda put it on, shooting all of them dirty looks. “While I sincerely appreciate all of your compliments, I would have appreciated it more if one of you would have said, Hey, Belinda, don’t come out here half-naked. Your estranged husband is here to see you. But no, everybody suddenly develops a huge case of the shut-ups,” she grumbled.
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