“What they hell are you doing?” she asked when he pressed himself into her.
“Be quiet and let me hold you. I need this from you right now.”
“Be quiet?” She wrapped her arms around him. “I thought you liked to hear me talk?” Her sassy comment and that gorgeous red raised eyebrow caused him to smile.
“I’d rather not hear you talk before I kiss you.”
“Who says I wanted to be kissed?”
“Who says you have a choice?”
“Oh.” She smiled bashfully. “Do you still want to have sex with me?”
He nodded once, still surprised that she was the only person in the world who could get him to be nakedly honest. “Just because you smashed my heart into a million pieces doesn’t mean I stopped wanting you.”
“Smashed your heart, huh? I wasn’t aware you had one.”
“Belinda,” he warned.
“I know, that was really a bitchy thing to say. I know you have a heart. I can see it when you’re with your daughter.”
“Bell…” Her words stung. A lot. More than he thought they could. Hadn’t she known how much he loved her? Maybe she didn’t and that was his mistake. He didn’t even know how much he could love until Ruby came into his life. He was so unsure about them, about their future, but he wanted to make that up to her, he wanted to show her how much he felt for her.
“If you would kiss me already I wouldn’t have the chance to say such stupid mean things.”
“You want me to kiss you?”
“I’d rather have that hot burly guy from True Blood kiss me, but you’re the only one here.”
He shifted his hands to cup her face, running his thumbs over her high cheekbones. Her eyes went wide again as if she wasn’t expecting his gentleness. He pressed one very soft kiss on her lips and stepped away.
“Thank you for taking care of Ruby today. You don’t know how much I appreciate it.”
She couldn’t hide the disappointment on her face. She wanted more from him. He wanted to give it to her, but he knew he couldn’t. Once he started with her he couldn’t bring himself to stop. “I like her. If you ever need somebody to babysit, I wouldn’t mind. My parents wouldn’t, either. I know you don’t have much help with her, but if you needed us we would be there for you.”
He was surprised by her offer, touched by it even, but he knew it was one that he couldn’t accept. Not until he was sure of where their relationship was heading. “That’s very kind of you, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want Ruby to get too attached to you.”
“Oh. Whatever.” Hurt flashed in her eyes but she covered it quickly. “I didn’t really want to babysit for a five-year-old. I was only offering to be nice.”
She turned away from him and walked out of the bathroom and he knew he had said the wrong thing. He never meant to hurt her. But he couldn’t allow her to hurt Ruby, either. If her leaving had nearly destroyed him, he couldn’t imagine what it would do to his baby girl. He needed to know that they would be forever before he let Ruby fall in love with her.
He went to follow her, to explain himself, but he ran into his daughter when he stepped out of the bathroom. “Hello, Ruby.” She was the other woman he had hurt today, and seeking her forgiveness was more important right now.
“Hello, Daddy.”
“Are you ready to go?”
She nodded once and slid her small hand into his. His chest felt lighter with that small action. He scooped her up and kissed her hair. “Can I take you out for dinner tonight? Or are you still not talking to me?”
“I’m talking to you,” she said resting her head on his shoulder. “But I want you to cook spaghetti tonight.”
“Of course I’ll cook you spaghetti.” He walked down the stairs. “Do you want anything else?”
“I want Belinda to have dinner with us.”
Her request shook him, and for a moment he didn’t know what to say. “I meant did you want anything else for dinner. Belinda can’t eat with us tonight.”
“Tomorrow night?”
“I don’t know, baby.” He didn’t want to tell her no. But he couldn’t tell her yes. “Let’s ask her later.”
“Okay.” For that moment his answer was good enough.
Belinda was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. She held Ruby’s book bag, her sweater, and a container full of cookies in her hands.
“You’re giving me all the cookies?” Ruby asked.
“Of course I am. I made them for you.”
“You baked for her?” Carter asked.
Belinda looked at him briefly before she smiled at Ruby. “It was no big deal. They came from a mix. All I had to do was add eggs and stir.”
“You put lots of butter in them, too. They taste very good, Daddy.”
“I’m sure they do, Rube. I want you to thank Belinda for taking such good care of you today.”
Ruby stretched her arms out, silently begging for Belinda to hug her. Belinda looked unsure for a moment and glanced at him. “My hands are full.”
Carter felt like the world’s biggest asshole. There were few people Ruby responded to. There was no way he could deny her this. “I’ll take your things.” He did and when her hands were free Ruby wrapped herself around Belinda, holding her tight.
“Thank you for taking care of me.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” Belinda hugged her briefly. “I had fun with you today. Be a good girl for your father.” She set her down and looked Carter in the eye. The hurt was still there and it was unmistakable. “I haven’t received the papers yet.”
He nodded. “You will,” he said, lying to her. He wasn’t going to send them. He needed to figure out a way to get her back.
CHAPTER 15
Stuck in the middle with you …
Three days later Belinda and her father walked into Durant’s community center. Three years ago it had been rebuilt, turning a once aging building to a place where the people of Durant could truly come together. During the day it was a place the elderly hung out to play cards, swap gossip, and share sips of Irish coffee out of the big thermoses with them, but in the afternoons it turned into a school, with classes on photography, computers, art, and fitness.
And that’s why they were there. Belinda had been thinking about it for weeks now, about finding a way to better herself. But all of her big plans seemed to fall by the wayside the day Carter came back into her life. She was mad at herself for letting him change her plans, the way she lived her life. So when her father called her and told her that he had signed up for woodworking and introduction to Spanish classes and asked if she wanted to join him, she jumped at the chance.
Her Spanish was good, thanks to her mother speaking it to her as a child, and there was no way in hell she was going to take woodworking, but Cherri was teaching a beginning painting class across the hall from her father’s class and her father had promised to take her out to dinner after class each week. Something about seeing Ruby and Carter together made her appreciate her father more. He wasn’t openly affectionate with her like Carter was with his daughter, but she had no doubt he loved her. She knew that he was still trying to make up for her first twelve years when she had seen him more on TV than she had in their home.
“Why woodworking, Dad?” she asked at they walked down the hall toward their classes.
“Pops used to make things for the house. Tables and cabinets and stuff. I’ve always wanted to do it, too, but he never taught me. He always made sure I was out practicing ball. I guess he was right in a way. Ballplaying worked out for me, but I still want to learn. I want to make a rocking chair one day. We had two when we were kids. My parents used to sit out there after dinner and just look out into the yard. My mama still does it, even though Pop has been gone for twenty years. You think your mother would like one of those, Junior?”
“Yes. She would love it. That’s a really sweet thought, Dad. Are you learning Spanish for Mamá, too?”
“I real
ly just want to know what the damn woman is saying behind my back.”
She shook her head, remembering her mother’s colorful language. “You don’t want to know.”
“No,” he nodded, “maybe I don’t. But I’m going to retire soon. I’ve talked to a travel agent. I’m going to take your mother on a big trip to Europe.”
“But you hate Europe.”
“I do. Especially those damn pretentious French and don’t get me started on those Germans.”
“Dad!”
“What? I’m from Texas. No place on earth is more beautiful. I wouldn’t mind retiring down there, but I know your mother. She would never be happy down there. She gave up a lot for me. She gave up her career. She moved from the city to Durant because I asked her to. She sacrificed having a big family like she wanted because of me. It’s my time to do something for her. I’m just hoping we don’t kill each other before that time comes.”
“What do you mean she sacrificed having a big family for you? You didn’t want any more kids?”
“No, I wanted bushels of them. But when we went to the doctor we found out that it was me who had the problem. Too much time in hot tubs nursing my knee caused my count to go low, if you know what I mean.”
“I do,” she said softly, hearing the heaviness in his voice. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Why?” He ruffled her hair. “I got my Junior. I would like some grandkids, though. No pressure. But since you’re it, it’s all up to you, kid.” He grinned at her. “I’ll come get you after I’m done. I was thinking we could try that new pizza place. They stuff their crusts with cheese.”
“Okay. Don’t tell Mamá, though. She’ll drag me to the nearest gym by my ear.”
“I won’t.” He grinned at her. “But don’t pay her any attention. You’re built like the women in my family. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that.”
She left her father, glad that he had invited her to come. She’d learned more about him in those few minutes than she had in years. Her parents really did love each other. They had more than passion. They had compromise. They sacrificed for each other. It made her briefly think about Carter and her, but she pushed away those thoughts. He still didn’t want her around Ruby. There would be no saving them, even though in her most private thoughts she wondered if there might be a chance they could.
She walked into Cherri’s class to find her standing in the back of the room pulling out supplies. It had been months since Belinda had seen Cherri without her son. It was almost odd. Since Cherri had Joey, the boy seemed like an extension of her.
“Hey, baby cakes!”
Cherri looked up and smiled brightly at her. “I’m so glad you came! I just saw your name on my list a few minutes ago.”
“My dad is taking a few classes across the hall. So we are going to enrich ourselves together.”
“Your dad is taking classes?”
“Yeah. He told me that he’s going to retire soon. I think he wants to be able to fill his days. He’s taking woodworking and Spanish.”
“Woodworking! My father-in-law is teaching that class. You should see him, Belinda. He’s so excited he went out and bought a jacket and suit coat. Not that he’s going to wear either of those things for long. But—”
“Excuse me,” a little voice said. “Is this the paint class?”
“Yes, it is, honey,” Cherri said. “Come on in.”
Belinda turned around to see her classmate only to find Ruby standing just inside the doorway with her head full of messy curls, her oversized pink backpack on, and her small eyes wide with worry.
Damn it.
She couldn’t avoid father or daughter, it seemed, but Ruby she didn’t want to avoid. She only wished her father weren’t so dead set against them being friends. It bothered her a lot. So much so that it was all she had thought about that evening. She wasn’t sure why she couldn’t let it go. Carter was right. Ruby shouldn’t get attached to her and she shouldn’t get attached to Ruby. That’s what was happening. She was growing ridiculously fond of the kid.
“Ruby? What are you doing here?”
“Belinda?” Ruby hurried across the room to her. She didn’t stop until she had reached her, until she had wrapped her little arms around her and rested her head against her hip. Belinda stiffened at first, remembering Carter’s wishes, but that only lasted a second. She relaxed and ran her fingers through Ruby’s messy curls. “I was very nervous.”
Belinda lifted her up and set her on the counter. “Why, baby doll? Why are you here? Where is your father?”
“He’s at work. He said that they had classes and fun things to do after school for kids at the community center. And he asked me if I wanted to come here sometimes instead of sitting in his office. So he let me pick a painting class.”
“That’s a good thing. Why are you nervous?”
“Because I had to take the school bus here. I never rode on a bus before. Daddy always picks me up from school. My teacher made a big kid bring me here, but I wasn’t sure if this was the right place and that’s why I was nervous.”
“Don’t be nervous.” She kissed Ruby’s forehead. “You’re here and you’re going to learn to paint from my friend, Mrs. O’Connell. You’re going to have fun. I promise.”
“Hi, Ruby. I’m Mrs. O’Connell, but you can call me Cherri, since you know my very good friend Belinda.” Cherri made brief eye contact with Belinda before she looked back at Ruby. “And since you are the first one here, you get to pick your easel and your supplies first.”
“That’s Carter’s kid,” she said when Ruby went to pick her easel.
“I figured,” Cherri said as she glanced back at Ruby. “Ellis tells me you bought her to the shop.”
Belinda nodded. “Carter got stuck in the city. He needed me to go get her.”
“Hmm…”
“What? Why do you have that stupid smirk on your face?”
“Nothing. Oh, look. More students are starting to file in.”
Belinda turned to survey her other classmates. They were all children. “Cherri, is this painting class just for kids?”
“No. It’s for all ages.” She turned away from Belinda. “But you are the oldest student I have and it’s too late for refunds.”
“Belinda!” Ruby called to her. “Sit next to me.”
*
The clock had barely moved since the last time he had looked at it. Only two minutes ago. His leg jiggled nonstop. He tapped his fingers on his desk. He had too much nervous energy to focus on the work he was supposed to be doing.
He had let Ruby go. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. He had called the school that morning to make sure that the bus would get her to the community center. He had spoken to her teacher, who assured him that she would have a buddy to drop her off at her art class. He had called the community center to make sure she had arrived. Ruby was there, they told him. She was checked in as soon as she got off the bus.
She was fine. He wasn’t. Before they moved he had barely seen her, trusting her care to somebody else, but all that had changed. For the past few months Ruby was barely without him. He missed her more than he thought possible. But this was good for her, to be away from him, to be with other kids. To do things that she liked to do.
Twenty-two minutes until he had to leave for pickup. He wasn’t getting any work done. He got up and ventured across the hall to Steven’s office. Molly, his intern, was with him going over a set of blueprints.
“These are good, Molly. But you might want to think about the placement of this bathroom. Some people are fine with having one right off the kitchen, but kitchens are gathering places and nobody wants to hear anybody doing their business while eating their pork chops.”
“What if I move the bathroom to the other side of the laundry room? That way the plumbing lines don’t need to be moved.”
“That’s great thinking. Good work. You should get an A in this class.”
“Thanks. I’m going to miss being here after
the semester is over.”
“You can always work here for free over the summer. We won’t kick you out.”
Molly smiled at him. “I’ll think about it. I’ve got to head out to class. I’ll see you in the morning.” She stepped away from his desk and spotted Carter. “Hi, Carter.” She gave him a shy smile. “I didn’t see you standing there.”
“I didn’t mean to intrude. I just came to talk to Steven.”
“No worries. I’m on my way out.” She lightly set her hand on his arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe when I’m finished with this class I can take you and Steven out to dinner to thank you for all you’ve taught me.”
Carter shook his head. “You don’t have to thank me. Steven is your teacher here.”
“But I want to. Let me know what date works best for you.” She walked out then.
“Damn,” Steven said, shaking his head. “The girl has it bad for you. Clearly she has no taste, because of the two of us I’m more charming and way better looking than you.”
“I know,” Carter said, drily. “I often find myself daydreaming about what our future children would look like.”
Steven chuckled. “What’s up? I haven’t seen Ruby today.”
“She’s taking an art class at the community center. She took the bus there. She’s never taken the bus.”
Steven left his desk and clapped Carter on the back. “She’s all right, man. I took the bus to school every day from kindergarten on. My father was a bus driver. She’s fine.”
“I know that, but—”
“You have got to spend some time away from your kid once in a while. Come out with me this weekend. You’re single or soon to be. Right?” He smiled slightly. “I haven’t heard you say anything about Belinda lately. What’s going on there?”
Carter sighed, feeling heavy. “Long story short I don’t want to give her up, but I’m not sure we’re going to work out.”
Gentlemen Prefer Curves: A Perfect Fit Novel Page 18