“No. I don’t want to go home! We are going to dance and laugh and stagger into the house after ten PM. You know I can’t stay up that late anymore. And this baby is taking it out of me even more. I haven’t seen The Daily Show in months.”
“Girl, DVR it,” Belinda said. “I haven’t made it past ten thirty in two years.” She sighed and looked back at her friends. “What the hell happened to us?”
“Life.”
She nodded and then headed toward the bar. Life happened when you least expected it.
A hand reached out and grabbed her wrist just as she was about to approach the bar. “Are you just going to walk right past me?”
She stiffened upon hearing his voice.
Damn. She’d been determined not to think about him tonight. She wanted to hang with her girls and pretend that she was carefree.
But 99 percent of her cares were standing right in front of her.
“If I didn’t know any better I would think you were stalking me.”
“I was thinking it was the other way around.” He pulled her closer, his arm wrapping around her waist, his hand settling on her hip possessively. Like he had the right to. Like his hand belonged there. She felt those damn tingles again. “I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he said into her ear, his warm breath tickling her skin. “I’ve been missing you.”
Damn.
It had always been bad, but lately every time she was near him, she felt something. It wasn’t just the extreme attraction, the sizzle that never failed to make them cook. There was something soft there, too. Like butterflies. Like how she felt with her first crush. It almost felt like being in love again. Which was a stupid feeling, because she was pretty sure she had never stopped loving him.
“I wish I didn’t have to miss you so much,” he said, making her heart thud painfully.
But this time it felt a little different.
Shit.
His lips brushed the skin just beneath her ear, leaving the softest of kisses. “I want you to meet somebody.”
He turned a little, lifting his lips from her skin, leaving her feeling almost bereft. It was then she noticed that there was another man standing there. Steven Oliver. She knew him but she didn’t. She had been friendly with his younger sister in school. His mother even shopped in her store, though they had never spoken.
“This is my best friend and business partner, Steven.”
“I know exactly who this man is,” she said, willing herself not to be embarrassed by what Steven had just witnessed between her and Carter. “We’ve been avoiding each other like the plague for the last four years.”
“You have?”
“Of course we have,” Steven said with a smile on his face. “We act like we are perfect strangers. It’s awkward living in the same town with your best friend’s estranged wife. I wasn’t sure whether to hate her or ask her out.”
“I probably would have said yes if you asked me out. You’re cute.” Belinda nodded, glad that Steven broke the tension.
Steven shrugged his grin, growing a little naughtier, a little wider. “I had to ignore her totally, because if I had asked her out we probably would have fallen in love and made beautiful little brown babies, because you know how much more charming I am than you are. And you would have been pissed at me. I’ve seen you in a fight. I’ve seen you knock a guy’s tooth out, and since my teeth are my best feature I stayed away.”
“I’m glad our friendship means so much to you, Steven. Thank you,” he said drily.
“No problem.” He extended his hand and brazenly studied her. “It’s nice to finally get to meet you. Now that I see you up close, I know why he hasn’t been able to get you out of his system. You are amazing to look at.”
Belinda smiled at the compliment. “You sure you don’t want to go out with me?”
“You busy tomorrow night?”
“Good-bye, Steven.” Carter shook his head at his friend and gently led her away from him. “Let me buy you a drink.”
“No. More alcohol is the last thing I need, especially around you. I’ve had one tonight. That’s enough.”
“What happens if you have two?” he asked, his eyes suddenly curious.
“I’ll probably end up trying to have sex with you in the bathroom.”
“Excuse me?” His eyes bulged a little. He was so cute when he was surprised.
“I’m going to give it to you straight, Carter.” She walked up to the bar. “I get stupid when you are around. My head loses all common sense. My stomach gets all fluttery and my panties … well, you don’t want to know the state of my panties.”
“Well, actually I do.”
She ignored that little remark and continued. “The simple fact of the matter is that I’m trying to stay away from you and it’s hard. I don’t want to want to sleep with you. I don’t want to fall back in love with you. So you’re going to have to leave me alone.” She waved at the busy bartender failing to get his attention.
“I thought you weren’t drinking.”
“I’m not. I came to get Ellis some seltzer. She’s not feeling well.”
“No?” He signaled the bartender, who acknowledged him. “Are you going to leave?”
“She doesn’t want to. It’s just indigestion. She’s pregnant and spicy foods no longer agree with her.”
“You know it’s too late, right? You know this is going to happen between us. Why are you trying to stop it?”
She turned to him and forced her eyes up to his. “Why did you kiss me in front of my father? What the hell were you trying to pull?” She shook her head. “I had plans, you know. I had all these plans and a path set out. You’re screwing that up for me.”
“Really, Bell? What plans did you have? Because it looks to me like you’ve been stuck for the last four years. Like your life, at least personally, has gone nowhere.”
“Shut up.” His words stung, but they were true. She had been stuck on sit and spin since she walked out on him. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“I do. Because I have been stuck, too. Why do you think I’m here? I couldn’t wait any longer for you to come back so I’m here. I’m here with my daughter. I’m changing my life. Is it too much to ask you to change yours?”
“Yes” was all she said before she walked away. Yes. It was too much. As much as she loved him, their marriage wasn’t good for her. Because she always had the feeling she wasn’t good enough for him. And that left her heart feeling a little bruised.
*
“Hey, where’s my seltzer?” Ellis complained when she got back to the table.
“Sorry,” Belinda muttered. “Carter is up there. I got all … flustered.”
“Carter’s here?” Ellis sat up straight, looking out into the room. “Where? Why am I the only one who hasn’t met him? Even Maggie has. It’s not fair.”
“I’m sorry that my husband has yet to barge into my life while you were with me. Maybe next time I marry a stranger I can be more considerate and have him stalk me around your schedule.”
“Meow,” Ellis said. “Is he really stalking you?”
“Not intentionally, but he’s every freaking where I go.”
“We know that, but if you didn’t have feelings for him,” Cherri said softly, “you wouldn’t be bothered by his presence.”
“Of course I have feelings for him! I love him!”
Ellis and Cherri exchanged looks.
“What? Why do you look surprised? You think you could stop loving Mike or Colin just like that?”
“No, honey. Of course not,” Ellis said. “We just never thought you would admit it.”
“He loves her, too, Ellis.” Cherri glanced toward the bar. “You should see the way he looks at her.”
“I know he hurt you, Belinda. But if you two are in love, then why can’t you be together?”
Because he broke my heart. And it hurt too damn much.
“I’m having my quarter-life crisis right now. Last yea
r it was Cherri’s turn. The year before it was yours. I would like my chance to be crazy and irrational without you two judging me.”
“Somebody is cranky,” Cherri said to Ellis.
“Somebody needs to get laid,” Ellis said back to her.
Belinda wondered if it was possible to smack two people at the same time.
“Look! He’s coming this way.” Cherri grinned.
“Fantastic.” Ellis clapped her hands. “Maybe she’ll get lucky tonight.”
“I hate you both.”
“Good.” Ellis nodded. “That means we’re family. All families hate each other sometimes.”
“You wanted a seltzer?” Carter approached them, setting down the glass of fizzy water in front of Ellis, but instead of looking at her and Cherri he kept his eyes on Belinda. He didn’t have to speak to her to understand what his eyes were saying.
Why did you run away? Are you scared?
The answer was yes. With a capital Y.
“You must be Ellis. I’m Carter. It’s nice to meet you.” He nodded his greeting to Cherri.
“Well, damn, Belinda. You never told me he looked like the guy from Mad Men.”
“He’s beautiful.” She made a vague motion in Carter’s direction. “That’s why I married him. I’m incredibly shallow.”
Carter slid into the booth, not giving her any space, his big body pressed against her side. They couldn’t be in the same room, the same space, without touching. She couldn’t be on the same planet with him without thinking about him. She was screwed. Seriously screwed.
“I married her for the same reason,” he said, his eyes roaming her face. “We don’t talk. We just stare at each other and admire our magnificence.”
Belinda rolled her eyes, but her friends laughed.
“It’s good to meet you, Carter. And thank you for my seltzer.” Ellis extended her hand. “It’s nice to put a face to the name of the guy our friend has never told us about.”
“Belinda never talked about me?” He glanced at her. “I would have sworn you ladies had a stack of voodoo dolls of me in a drawer somewhere.”
“Nope.” Ellis shook her head. “If she had told us, trust me, we would have. But not a word from Miss Tight Lips over there. I didn’t know you two were married until you showed up here a few weeks ago.” Ellis rested her hand on her chin and looked from Carter to Belinda. Belinda knew her best friend. She knew when Ellis was up to something. She just didn’t know what.
“Now it makes sense why Belinda never had a boyfriend for the past few years and why she turned down so many dates. She was married to you. I’ve known Belinda most of my life and I’ve never known the girl to be a saint, but she has been almost nun-like in her chastity these past few years. What about you, Carter? Have you dated a lot since your separation?”
“Ellis,” Belinda hissed. She kicked out, hoping to connect with Ellis’s shin.
“Ouch,” Cherri yelped instead. She frowned at Belinda as she rubbed her aching leg. “Are you wearing those stupid spiky shoes? I think I’m bleeding.”
“You are not!”
“I could be!”
“It’s all right, Bell,” Carter said in a calming voice that made her want to punch him. He draped his arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer so he could soothingly rub her arm. “I haven’t dated, Ellis. I’ve been too busy raising my daughter and growing my career.”
“That’s understandable.” She nodded. “I met Ruby. She’s a great kid. But everybody gets a little lonely sometimes. What about sex? You don’t have to date anybody to have sex. Have you been having a lot of sex since you and Belinda split?”
Belinda felt her face grow hot as mortification swept over her. It was a question that had crossed her mind a few times, too, especially since she’d spilled the beans that there hadn’t been anybody else but him in all this time. But she didn’t want Carter to have to explain himself in front of her friends. What the hell had gotten into Ellis?
If this was payback for keeping Carter a secret from her, it sure as hell was effective.
“Uh-oh, Ellie,” Cherri said. “She looks kind of mad.”
“I know. Her cheeks are all red. What do you think it will take for smoke to come out of her ears?”
“Ellis, I’m going to hurt you,” Belinda warned. “Like, seriously hurt you. You are not going to have any hair left when I get finished with you.”
“I’m pregnant.” She folded her arms across her chest and raised her chin. “You can’t beat up a pregnant lady.”
“Yeah, but I can knock your teeth out.”
*
Ellis waved her hands back and forth. “I’m shaking in my boots, Belinda.”
Carter watched as Belinda’s eyes sparked with anger. He had only seen her look at him that way. It made him smile. It was nice to see her pissed at somebody else for a change.
“You should be scared.” Belinda lunged across the table and pinched Ellis’s arm.
“You bitch,” she said rubbing her arm. “That hurt.”
“It was supposed to!”
Carter suppressed a laugh. Belinda was pretty damn cute when she was mad. Still, he didn’t want her to kill her best friend. It was odd seeing her interact with her friends this way. They were more like sisters. It was the way they spoke to each other, the way they bickered and openly teased that told him they were more than just friends. She was so natural with them, so unguarded. In San Francisco he hadn’t seen her like this. Whenever they went out she stuck by his side, only speaking when directly spoken to. He had foolishly thought she was shy then, but now he realized how uncomfortable she’d been there. It wasn’t like his family had gone out of their way to make her feel welcome.
They had never spent time doing what she wanted to do or with her friends. Belinda kind of morphed into a member of his world, and seeing her now he knew that she wasn’t that kind of person. The more he saw her here with her friends and family, the more he understood how they could have never lasted in San Francisco.
Of course they hadn’t lasted. They didn’t have a shot.
Then.
He didn’t believe that now.
“Hey, what’s going on here?” Steven walked up, grinning. “If I had known there was going to be a catfight I would have come over a lot sooner.”
“Steven Oliver.” Ellis glanced at Belinda and then back at Steven. The woman had mischief in her eyes. “Rumor is that Carter is your best friend. So you must know something about his sex life. Has he been hooking up a lot since he and Belinda took their little break?”
Belinda reached across the table again, but this time Carter had caught her arm and lifted her up away from the table. “Let’s go, firecracker.”
“What are you doing?” She struggled until he set her on her feet.
“The band is starting to play. Let’s dance.”
“But I don’t want to dance with you.”
“Too bad. We need to dance off some of your aggression. If you get arrested tonight then I’m never going to hear the end of it from my mother.” He pulled her out on the dance floor, grabbing her by her hips to keep her near him.
“Your mother can kiss my ass.”
“You have my permission to tell her that next time we see her.”
She opened her mouth to retort but seemed lost for words. She was fighting the fact that he was coming after her, that he was going to get her back. He was tired of fighting himself, deluding himself. The only time he ever felt right was when he was with her.
“We’ve never danced together before,” he said before she could collect her thoughts. They moved easily together despite her unwillingness. He led, keeping up with the fast-paced tempo of the band. She followed, brushing her sweet little body against his. The dance floor wasn’t crowded. The room wasn’t hot, but his temperature went up.
“I didn’t think you could dance.”
“Why? Just because I come from an uptight, stuffy. WASP family doesn’t mean I can’t dance.”
“I guess not.” She looked up and smiled at him for the first time that night. “You’re actually pretty good.”
“My partner inspires me.” The song ended, the band went into a slower song, and as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Belinda inched herself closer to him, looping her arms around his neck.
“I’ve never seen you in anything but a suit since you’ve been here.” She studied him for a long moment. “You look good in jeans.”
“Did I just hear you pay me a compliment?”
“Don’t look so shocked. Your ass looks good in them and I’ve always been an ass woman. You don’t have to wear a suit all the time in Durant, you know. This town is laid-back. I think people assume you’re some kind of narc when they see you all buttoned up.”
“You don’t like me in suits?”
“No, it’s not that. When we met you were wearing a suit. I’ve got a thing for men in suits.” She shook her head. “But under the suit and your neat haircut, there’s a bit of a rebel. You’re like an enigma. You confuse the hell out of me.”
“I’m not so confusing and I’m definitely not a rebel. I’ve followed too many rules in my life.”
“You didn’t go into the family business. You married me. You left your high-paying job and moved across the country. You’ve got tattoos.”
He shook his head, unable to agree with her. “You think I’m a rebel? I spent most of my life doing what was expected of me. I let my parents pick my college. I married a woman I didn’t love just to please my parents. I’m not a rebel. I just decided I was done living the life everybody else wanted me to live. I needed to prove I was my own man before I started to hate myself more than I already did.”
“You shouldn’t hate yourself. They guilted you,” she said to him. “That’s what parents do. They guilt you and they bug you and they suck the life out of you. My parents do the same thing to me. I’m their only child. They like to spend inordinate amounts of time with me. They come to my job and show up at my house uninvited. They drive me to drinking but I don’t stop them from being smothering because I feel guilty.”
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