by Moira Young
Two days! I says. I sit up like a shot an go to shove my blanket away, but Jack stops me. Presses me back gently so’s I lie down agin. My shoulder throbs. It cain’t be, I says. That means we only got … when’s midsummer eve?
Him an Emmi look at each other. It’s tonight, she says.
No! What time is it now? I try to sit up agin an this time Emmi stops me. I gotta git there!
It’s okay, says Emmi, we got time.
We’re here, says Jack.
What …? I says. Whaddya mean … we’re here?
Freedom Fields, she says. Saba, we’re at Freedom Fields.
It’s jest th’other side of this hill, says Jack. He gits up an goes over to the fire. Starts doin somethin, takin pots offa the fire an movin things around, but I cain’t see what.
I don’t unnerstand, I says. How’d I git here?
You passed out while you was still on the lake, says Emmi. Jack found you. He carried you all the way till he caught up with us. You would of bin dead if it warn’t fer him. Ain’t that right, Jack?
He grunts.
He wouldn’t let nobody else touch you, she says. Then he loaded you onto Hermes an we jest kept goin till we got here.
Hermes? I says. But we set the horses loose. They should of bin long gone.
Not Hermes, says Emmi. He waited fer us. Fer you.
Remind me to thank him, I says. I lie back. We made it in time, I whisper. We made it.
By the skin of our teeth, says Jack.
Where’s everybody else? I says.
Outside, he says. They’re gittin a few things together that might be useful.
They’re makin arrows, says Emmi.
I need to help, I says.
You can help in a minute, says Jack. Soon’s I stitch that wound.
There ain’t time, I says.
You ain’t got a choice in the matter, he says. He starts to thread fine catgut through a thin bone needle.
Emmi says, You should of seen ’em all run when Jack asked who was good at stitchin.
Cowards, says Jack. Every one of ’em.
Ike said only a fool ’ud dare touch a prickly pear like you, says Emmi.
Is that what you are, Jack? I says. A fool?
Seems that way, he says. Now, let’s take a look. He pushes my shirt offa my shoulder an unwinds the bandage. I peer at it. The oak bark poultice done its work. The wound’s ugly but clean.
Yer gonna have a big scar, says Emmi.
You ain’t seen me sew yet, says Jack. I do real neat work. He holds out a bottle of Ike’s vodka. It’s half full. Here you go, he says, drink it down. It’ll help dull the pain.
No, I says. I’m gonna need a clear head later on.
He lifts one eyebrow. You sure? he says. Go on.
No, I says. I don’t wanna drink.
Well I sure as hell do, he says an he takes a long swig.
Jest git on with it, Jack, I says.
He hands me a cloth. I shove it into my mouth. Then he gives me a rock fer each hand.
Emmi sits on my legs to stop me kickin. She’s got a flamin torch in her hand. Don’t throw me off, she says.
I’ll work as fast as I can, says Jack, but this is gonna hurt like the devil. You ready?
My heart’s thumpin. I bite down on the cloth. I squeeze the stones hard. I nod.
Gimme a good light, Emmi, he says. All right, here we go.
Then he commences to stitch me up.
Lucky fer me, I faint right away.
FREEDOM FIELDS
I STEP OUTSIDE INTO THE MIDDAY SUN. I BLINK AFTER THE arkness of the cave an take in a deep breath to clear my foggy head. The air’s cooler’n I’m used to. It smells different. This air smells of fir, sharp an sweet at the same time.
The longest day of the year. Midsummer. This is it.
Yer awake, says Jack. He’s sittin on a big rock. It’s on the edge of a little clearin to the side of the cave. He finishes tyin the head onto a arrow an tosses it onto a growin pile. How’s the shoulder?
I roll it around. A bit stiff, no surprise there, an a bit sore where the stitches are, but no pain. I guess I got Jack’s disgustin willow bark brew to thank fer that.
Feels good, I says. Thanks. I look up at the sky. Any sign of Nero?
He shakes his head. No. My stummick tightens. I look up at the sky agin, like he might of appeared in the last two seconds. I had to tell everybody where he is, says Jack. They kept askin.
He’ll find Maev, I says. I know he will. They should be here by now. C’mon, Nero.
I scan the sky.
It’s outta our hands. Let’s jest git on with it. Saba.
Yeah … yeah. Where is everybody?
If you look around the corner, you’ll see, he says.
I step around him, into the clearin, an there they all are.
Ash an Epona sit side by side, strippin an smoothin down sticks into arrow shafts. They work fast. Ike an Tommo’s makin slate chips into arrowheads an Emmi bobs around, fetchin an carryin an generally makin herself useful.
It looks like they ain’t none of ’em had no sleep fer a while. They look up when they see me, throw a nod or a little smile, but don’t stop what they’re doin. Even Emmi keeps at it instead of rushin over to me like always.
It’s so heavy in the air you can smell it, almost taste it. The tightness. The urgency. I feel the heat rise in my cheeks. Everybody must think I’m a real shirker, snorin away while they work.
You all right? says Epona.
Yeah, I says. I’ll be okay to shoot.
Good, Ike says. I especk we might be seein a little action later on.
Gimme somethin to do, I says.
You can help me tie on arrowheads, says Jack. He shifts to make room fer me on his rock an I sit beside him. Right away, the heartstone starts to heat up. I shake my head.
What? he says.
Nuthin, I says. I take a length of nettlecord, a head an a shaft an git to work. My fingers feel clumsy to start with, slow, but after I done a couple I git into the swing of it.
Jack holds up a finished arrow. Sights along it. Whenever I make a arrow, he says, I see it in my mind’s eye … flyin outta the bow … singin through th’air, headin fer the target straight an true.
Me too, I says.
Our eyes meet fer a second. We smile. Then we bend our heads to our work an really set to.
Did you know, he says, that every time you make somethin, any time you make anythin, a little bit of yer spirit goes into it?
No, I says. I didn’t know that.
Well, it’s a fact. So … you wanna make sure it’s a good bit of you, not a bad bit.
I think I used up my last good bit a while back, I says.
Me too, he says. He gives me his lopsided grin an my heart turns over.
I’m sorry, I says.
Fer what? he says.
Fer always bein … you know … so—
Ungrateful? he says.
Yeah, I says.
Ornery?
I guess so.
Rude? Pig-headed? Violent?
I ain’t violent!
Oh yes, you are. Very. But I like that in a woman.
I laugh. Yer crazy, I says.
I was fine till I met you, he says.
When the sun’s high in the midafternoon sky, we break camp an start to gather up our weapons. I remember what Emmi said about Hermes waitin fer me an not followin th’other horses when we set ’em loose back at the lake.
Where’s Hermes? I says.
There, Tommo says with a jerk of his head. We’re all used to him by now an pretty much know what he means. Emmi still seems to git more outta his one or two words than anybody else though.
He means he’s on th’other side of the hill already, Emmi says now. He’s waitin fer us.
Tommo nods.
I knew what you meant jest fine, I says. Thanks, Tommo.
He turns bright red an hurries off.
The kid’s soft about you, says Ike. An he
ain’t th’only one. I’m jest waitin fer you to give me the word, darlin.
You know, Ike, I says, I think I might be comin round to the idea.
He looks shocked. But only fer a moment. Then he grins. You wouldn’t be flirtin with me, would you? he says.
I dunno, I says. Yeah. I think I might be.
Be still my beatin heart! he says.
All right, says Jack, break it up. Time to go. We need to git movin.
You scouted it out, right? I says.
Completely, says Ike. Me, Ash an Epona did it while you was gittin yer beauty sleep.
What does it look like? I says.
Ike winks. No problem. Piece of cake.
Piece of cake. Ash shakes her head.
Wait, what’s the plan? I says.
You know me, says Jack, I don’t like to be hampered by too much plannin.
Jack!
Keep yer shirt on. I got a couple of ideas to run by you. But we won’t know properly till we see what they’re up to. We might hafta … wing it a bit.
Wing it! I says. This is my brother’s life we’re talkin about, Jack. I ain’t wingin nuthin. You said you had a plan.
Uh … I think we’ll head over, says Ike.
Good idea, says Ash.
They all hurry past us an turn right, disappearin back into the cave.
Why’re they goin back in? I says. You said Freedom Fields is on th’other side of the hill.
It is, says Jack. But there’s a tunnel that cuts through from the back of the cave. A short cut. He starts to follow ’em.
I grab his arm. Hang on, Jack, we ain’t finished here. We need a plan. A proper one. Right now.
I promised you we’d git Lugh outta there, he says, an I meant it. We will. That’s the main thing, no matter what. You said you trusted me. Do you? Here an now. Do you trust me?
I stare into his eyes. Searchin fer … somethin. Then. I see it.
I see him. Suddenly I see him. Not the Jack of the jokes an the flirtin an the shyin away. The real Jack. The … truth of him. The stillness at the heart of him. Like calm water.
I saw it once before, that first night we lay unner the stars. When I told him about Lugh an he promised me we’d find him. An this is the thing. The truth about Jack’s bin right in front of me all along. I jest wouldn’t let myself believe what I saw. Till now.
I laugh. Gawd help me, I says, but I do. I trust you, Jack.
Then let’s go, he says. We turn into the cave. Now I can see there’s a narrow crack at the back. The entrance to the tunnel that leads to th’other side. Jack lights a torch in the dyin fire, then I help him break it up, spreadin the ash so’s it can cool.
That’s it, he says, turnin to go.
I touch his arm. Jack, I says. I …
What?
I didn’t really thank you fer … takin care of me. Fer fixin me up.
Don’t mention it.
He starts to go, an I stop him agin. Jack! Yeah?
I might not git another chance to say that I … to tell you … how much I appreciate everythin yer doin. Everythin you done. To help git Lugh back an … well, everythin. You didn’t hafta but you did an … I am. Grateful, I mean. I always have bin, it’s jest … I guess I ain’t too good at showin it, is all.
Don’t keep thankin me, he says. I don’t deserve it. I ain’t some hero.
He turns an I follow him to the back of the cave. We slip through the narrow crack an pretty much right away it opens into a tunnel that’s high enough to walk upright. My stummick’s all jittery an tight. We ain’t gone more’n a few steps when I says, Jack. Wait.
He turns around, all impatient. Now what?
I wanna say somethin to you. I wanna say … I dunno … more. I could bust apart with all I’m feelin inside of me right now. What with fightin off the hellwurms an gittin my shoulder tore open, an how I felt when I woke up an seen you an, now, here I am, bein so close to findin Lugh an I dunno what’s gonna happen an—
Jack’s lookin at me, frownin. What’s the matter with you, Saba? he says.
I grab his face an kiss him on the lips.
Then I step back.
We stare at each other. All the air gits sucked outta the tunnel. The heartstone burns into my skin. The blood pounds in my ears.
Yer timin stinks, he says.
He drops the torch. He pushes me aginst the wall. Then his mouth is on mine an he’s kissin me like he’s starvin or dyin of thirst or somethin. He kisses my lips, my face, my neck, then back to my lips agin. His lips is smooth. Warm. The smell of him fills me.
We’re pressed tight together, chest to chest, thigh to thigh. His heart thuds aginst mine. A shiver runs over me from the top of my head to the ends of my toes. I’m hot an cold all at once. The tiny hairs on my arms, on the back of my neck, tingle. My skin’s stretched tight over my bones. A heavy heat settles low in my belly.
I never thought kissin ’ud feel like this.
I kiss him back. I run my hands up an down his arms, his shoulders, his back. I feel the strength of him. I press myself closer. I cain’t seem to git close enough.
Stop, he says aginst my lips.
I don’t. I don’t want to. I cain’t.
He grabs both my hands. Saba, he says. Saba. Stop.
We’re both breathin hard. I’m dizzy. Dazed.
What? I says. What? Was I doin it wrong?
No, he says, no, don’t ever think that! That was … oh boy … that was … perfect. It’s jest … this ain’t the time or the place. An you bin through a lot. You ain’t thinkin straight.
I am, I says. I swear I am.
No, you ain’t, he says. An I ain’t neether. But I bin wantin to kiss you like that from the first moment I seen you. You got no idea how much.
I start to say, me too, but he puts a finger aginst my lips.
Don’t say it, he says. It’ll only make things worse.
He kisses me one last time. Quick. Hard. Then he pushes away from me an picks up the torch from the ground. It’s still lit. C’mon, he says. We gotta git movin.
Jest like that? I says.
Saba, he says. Yer brother. He’s waitin fer you.
He heads off. I jest stand there. My lips is tinglin. I can still taste him.
I’m glad he called a halt. He’s right, this ain’t the time or place. An him an me both know there never will be the right time an place. Once I’ve got Lugh back, that’ll be it. I’ll head to Crosscreek with him an Emmi, or maybe somewhere else entirely, and Jack’ll go off with Ike an Tommo an we’ll never see each other agin. We both said what our plans is an that’s what we’re gonna do.
But I’m glad we did it. Kissed. It was our only chance. An I’m glad he stopped it when he did.
Liar. Liar, liar, liar.
Saba! he yells. C’mon! Hurry up!
It gits lower here, says Jack. Mind yer head.
The torch throws jagged fingers of light up the rough stone walls. We’re makin our way through the tunnel an I reach a hand out, feelin where the top is. I gotta duck every now an agin so’s I don’t bang my head.
It seems to go on an on an on. I’m gittin to the point of thinkin it ain’t never gonna end when I start to see light an it gits brighter an brighter, spillin into the darkness. Then the tunnel ends an we step outside, into the golden sky of a midsummer afternoon.
Everyone’s waitin fer us. Emmi, Tommo, Ike, Ash an Epona. Hermes is over to one side, tearin at long tufts of grass. He lifts his head an whickers when he sees me.
What took you so long? says Emmi. We bin here fer ages.
Ike, Ash an Epona look at each other an grin. They look at me an Jack.
Pretty dark in there, says Ash. Did you git lost?
I feel a hot flush crawl up my neck. Lucky fer me, Hermes trots over an I busy myself strokin his neck.
It uh … took us longer’n we thought to put out the fire, says Jack.
Saba, says Emmi. Come an see! She grabs my hand an pulls me over to the edge of the ridge we�
�re standin on. The ridge runs all around the edge of the valley, like the rim of a bowl. It’s covered with thick stands of oak an tall pine trees. A wide flat valley lies spread out below us. It’s covered in rows an rows of low bushes covered with shiny dark green leafs. Lots of workers in white tunics move between the rows, bendin, pickin the leaf from the bushes an puttin ’em into sacks on their back. Slaves.
Helen was one of these once. An Jack an Ike.
It’s a land of plenty. Lush an beautiful. Like Pa told us it used to be back in Wrecker times. Paradise, he called it. When the air was sweet an the earth was good. When they grew so much to eat that they heaped it in mountains an if they needed some they’d jest go with their bucket an fill it up.
But this ain’t no Paradise.
There it is, says Ike. Freedom Fields.
Ash points. Across the valley, on the far side, a wall of rainbow light shimmers. An that, she says, that’s the King’s Palace.
Jack pushes somethin into my hand. Here, he says. It’s half of the long-looker that Emmi broke back at the Wrecker city.
Jack fixed it! she says. Jest like he said he would!
I put it to my eye.
Be careful! she says. It’s awful bright!
Directly opposite where we are, on the far side of the valley, a big house, the biggest I ever seen, sprawls out half-ways between the valley floor an the ridge above it. The walls is completely covered in shimmer discs. As the sun hits ’em, they shoot off rainbows of light. Red, yellow, pink, green, purple. The colors streak out, like shootin stars, sparkin an dancin so bright that black spots appear in front of my eyes.
Ohmigawd, it’s amazin! I says. I never seen nuthin like it.
They’ll be keepin Lugh there unner guard, says Jack. Ain’t that right, Ike?
Yup, says Ike. An they’ll be takin good care of him, seein they went to all that trouble to git him.
D’you really think so? I says.
You can bet on it, says Ike.
The Palace. I squint at it sidewise. Now I can see it’s got many windows. Tall posts runnin all along the front of it. Two massive front doors made of hammered copper. Wide steps lead down to a path made of crushed white rock. It winds through a garden to the fields below. I think of Ma with her garden of stones at Silverlake. She would never of dreamed that there might be a garden like this one.