by Kata Čuić
“And ya can’t do that at the high school?” Daddy doesn’t look convinced.
“I tried to shake him off!” I wail. “He followed me to the parking lot and insisted we get started right away because we’re already a week into the school year…” I trail off, my panic being replaced by resignation.
“All right,” Mama concedes. “That seems fair.”
“Right up until he said he’d meet me here, so we can work!” I yelp. “He can’t see her! He can’t! I don’t know why, but he hasn’t mentioned her, and he might not know! I’ve got to keep it that way as long as possible!”
Daddy guffaws. “He knows. He knows ya, too. He ain’t never been stupid. He’s just waitin’ on ya to admit it to him in your own time. He’s probly diggin’ in to test how stubborn ya still are.”
“He’s right, Lenore,” Mama says much more softly. “There ain’t a snowball’s chance in hell he don’t know about her. The whole town’s talkin’. I know this ain’t what ya planned, but…”
I cover my ears, still willful to a fault. “No! No, this isn’t the plan!”
Mama shakes her head then pulls my hands down, fixing me with an even stare. “Go inside and get gussied up. We’ll stay here to keep an eye on Anne. Meet him in the driveway when he pulls up. He’ll be so distracted by your beauty, he won’t notice nothin’ else. Tell him you’re itchin’ to get outta the house for a bit, and ya wanna go into town to make your plans. That oughtta buy ya a little more time.”
I kiss my mama on both cheeks. One thing’s for sure, I didn’t inherit my flighty ways from her. “Perfect!”
Daddy calls out as I’m making my way to the house, “Pretty is as pretty does! I still say ya either let me kill him or let me tell him!”
Twelve Years Ago
“Jesse?” I whisper as I push the door to the treehouse open.
“M’ here,” he chatters in the darkness.
Holding my flashlight between my teeth, I haul my load up onto the wooden floor before pulling myself through the entrance. It’s a might harder to climb up and squeeze through, being as bundled as I am against the bitter cold.
Once I’m settled, I shine the light over to the corner I know Jesse’s huddled in.
I ain’t never seen a sadder sight in all my thirteen years.
Even with the pillow and three blankets I’ve snuck up here, Jesse’s lips are blue. The whole pile of quilts shakes right along with him. His green eyes are staring at me, but it’s like he’s so cold he don’t even really see me right in front of him.
It’s time to spread my angel wings and fast.
I scurry over and crawl under the blankets with him, wrapping myself around him like a vine on a tree. I drape my newest offering over the both of us, tucking it up around his chin.
“Whatcha doin’ out here, girl? You’ll freeze to death. Go back inside,” he stutters.
“What? And leave ya out here to freeze to death? I don’t think so.”
He don’t answer, and that scares me. Everyone around here knows we’re in the middle of a powerful cold snap. People’s animals been dying. Mama went into town three days ago to make sure Gerald had somewhere warm to sleep. If she hadn’t found out the church had taken him in, she would’ve brought him home to our house. It breaks my heart Jesse would rather be out here than in his own trailer. I know he don’t like the different men who spend the night with his ma, but at least he’d be warm.
“Good thing I brought another quilt with me tonight, huh?”
Jesse’s not shaking quite so much anymore, but his voice sounds cold when he chatters back to me. “It’s very pretty.”
“Pretty is as pretty does,” I mutter. “Least it’ll help keep us warm.”
“I reckon so.”
“Does that mean ya like it?”
“I like any kind of blanket just now.”
“Well, I’m glad. I made it special for ya.”
“Ya made this? For me?” He tries to laugh, but it comes out all wrong. “I ain’t never really been keen on pink and purple.”
My cheeks burn. I’m not real sure if it’s from the cold or from feeling stupid. Guess I didn’t think things through real good again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t have no money for fabric, so I just used some of my old clothes.”
And some of my not-so-old clothes, too. Turns out Mama gives away most of my stuff that don’t fit no more to charity.
We don’t talk again for a while. Jesse ain’t shaking no more, but I’m feeling right cold.
“Go back inside to your warm bed, Nora,” he finally whispers. “Ain’t no sense in both of us bein’ cold.”
“All right, I will. But only if you’ll come with me.”
Jesse shuffles in my arms and turns until we’re face to face. He’s looking me dead in the eye like I done gone crazy. “I can’t do that. It ain’t my house.”
I just stare back at him and wait for him to cave. If he wants to be stubborn, then I will, too.
Me, Mama, and Daddy been helping Jesse for a while now. We’re just careful to make sure he don’t know it. He always comes to my house after school, so we can do homework together. Mama makes dinner extra early before he leaves just so he can have a good meal. She told me so one night as I was getting ready for bed.
“You’re bein’ an awful good angel to that boy,” she said. “Your daddy and I wanna help him, too, but it’s gotta be our little secret, all right? Them Yates is awful proud, and we don’t wanna hurt his feelings none. Ya understand what I’m tellin’ ya, Lenore?”
I did.
Jesse turned thirteen in September, so a few months ago Daddy took him hunting for the first time. I think it’s Daddy’s way of paying his respects to his best friend who died. He’s trying to be the daddy Jesse didn’t get to have.
“Nora.”
I blink at Jesse’s mean voice.
“Go back inside.”
“I told ya I would.”
“I ain’t comin’ with ya.”
“Then I ain’t leavin’.” Just to prove my point, I squeeze my arms tighter around him. I wrap my legs around him, too.
“I can make ya leave, ya know. Ya ain’t stronger than me.”
“This here’s my treehouse, Jesse Yates. The way I see it, you’re already in my house. Now, ya can either come back to my warm bed with me, or we can both stay out here and freeze. Your choice.”
He sighs and closes his eyes. He don’t seem mad so much as sad. “That ain’t much of a choice at all,” he grumbles before opening his deep green eyes and fixing them on me. “Nora, it ain’t fittin’ for me to sleep in your bed with ya.”
“Well, why in blazes not? I sleep out here with ya all the time!”
I do, too. Ever since that first night I found him out here all alone and scared, I sneak out as much as I can, so he won’t be lonely. I never told Mama and Daddy that Jesse sleeps out here sometimes. I know he’d be ashamed if anyone else found out about it. I wonder how many nights Jesse’s been up here, and I just didn’t know it. If I knew I was in my nice, soft, warm bed even once when he was up here all alone, I’d cry my eyes out. I kind of think he’s getting sneaky about it though. He don’t even want me to know when he’s up here. Mama’s right about the Yates family and their pride.
Jesse’s quiet voice startles me. “Sleepin’ out here ain’t the same as sleepin’ in our beds. This here is like campin’.”
I study his pale, dirty face for a bit until a slow smile spreads across my face. “Why, Jesse Yates…Are ya sayin’ ya play pretend out here?”
I expect him to roll his eyes, to get mad at me, to give me the look. He doesn’t.
This is one of the first times I’ve ever seen him smile. It’s small, and he don’t show his teeth none, but it’s a hint of what I been hunting for all these years. It’s gone in a flash.
“Know your place, girl. I know mine. It’s out here. Yours is in your warm bed. Go on now. Git.” He don’t use his mean voice to say it. He whispers it in a sad way.
<
br /> “I know my place right well. Tonight, it’s with you to keep ya warm.” My place is being his angel.
“Ya ain’t gonna give up, are ya?”
“Nope.”
He shakes his head and closes his eyes again. He’s quiet for so long, I think he must have fallen asleep. I don’t know how. I’m too dang cold to sleep.
“Jesse,” I whisper. I got one last try to get him in my house. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”
His eyes snap open in an instant. He’s always going on and on about his family motto. “Whatever it takes,” he says. All the time.
If he wants to be this stubborn, then I’ll show him I’m way more stubborn than he is. And darn it all, I’m cold. I wanna go back to my bed, but I ain’t leaving him out here.
“All right, Nora. You win. This time.”
We get up and out of the blankets. Soon as the night air hits me, I’m shaking again. It really is too cold out here for anyone. Quick as we can, we climb down the tree, run through the yard, then get in my room through the window. I’m peeling off my coat and boots when Jesse grabs my arm and spins me to face him.
There’s no moon tonight, and I forgot my flashlight in the treehouse. His face is covered in darkness when he whispers to me, “If I’m gonna stay in here with ya, we gotta have some rules.”
“Rules?” Now what’s he going on about?
“Yeah.” He pulls off his coat and throws it on the floor then sits on the bed to pull off his boots. He doesn’t take off his clothes.
I’m at least wearing pajamas, but he’s still in the same jeans and shirt he wore to school. They might be warmer, but they can’t be comfortable.
“What kinda rules we need for sleepin’? It ain’t like playin’ a game.”
I climb under my blankets. It’s cold even in my own bed. I can’t stop shivering.
He climbs in beside me on the side of the bed near the window. “First off, no touchin’. You sleep on your side, and I’ll sleep on mine.”
“But Jesse, I’m cold!” I know he ain’t the hugging kind, but we always sleep snuggled together in the treehouse.
He sighs, but I know I’m gonna win again. He’s cold, too. “All right, fine. Come here but turn around.”
I do as he asks and press my back up against his chest. He wraps his arms around me. Even though he’s as cold as I am, it already feels warmer like this.
I’m just falling asleep when his nose burrows into my hair until it touches my neck. “Your daddy’d be fit to be tied if he knew I was here with ya.”
“Why? It’s too cold for ya to be campin’ outside tonight. ‘Sides, my daddy likes ya just fine. Ya know he and your daddy was best friends, growin’ up.”
“We’re growin’ up, too, Nora.”
That’s the last thing he whispers before we both fall asleep, warm in my bed and with each other.
When I wake in the morning, it’s still dark. Jesse’s already gone.
Don’t Cut Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face
“All right, I can’t take it anymore.” Jesse grabs the back of his neck, discomfort written in his tense shoulders as he shifts in the chair that’s easily two sizes too small for his big body. “I know ya ain’t happy about us workin’ together, but I don’t understand why sittin’ at your mama and daddy’s kitchen table would’ve been so bad. Ya wouldn’t even let me pay my respects to ‘em.”
I point to the books filling every inch of space. “What better place to work on school plans than the library?”
He raises an eyebrow. “A place that ain’t meant for tiny tots story time. Ya might have to pull me outta this chair. I think I’m stuck.”
I stifle a giggle. I’m not here to giggle. “We could have worked in your office or the conference room at the high school.”
“We could’ve,” he agrees. “Except you wanted outta there so bad, it was like your pants were on fire. I figured offerin’ to work where you’re stayin’ would make ya more amiable to my request.”
“I’m being very amiable.” I gesture like a gameshow hostess to the papers spread all over the small table as proof of my amiability.
He leans back, the small chair creaking beneath his shifting weight. “That ya are. I reckon I should reward ya for all your time and effort.”
That suggestion fires up parts of me I thought long dead and buried. I shift in my seat, too. “Tell you what? We’ve both put in a lot of hard work off the clock. How about if we go grab some drinks to celebrate the end of our first week?”
I hold my breath and pray this big gamble pays off.
A game of chicken is the last card I have up my sleeve to keep us from falling back into old habits that have no place in our lives anymore. Already, I can feel my resolve crumbling with every glance of his soulful, evergreen eyes. Each time he makes me laugh, I realize it’s taking him less and less effort to elicit reactions from me. If I don’t do something to nip this in the bud, in another week, we’ll be curled up in his office, reading a book together like we used to.
“What?” I bait as I rise from my chair and pack my things into my bag. “You don’t think making it through the first week of classes is worth celebrating? Or you don’t want to be seen in town with me? Since you’re my superior, and I’m technically your employee,” I add on at the last second.
“No. No, it’s not that.” He seems absolutely terrified by my implication as hoped for. “I just…I, uh…didn’t think you drink anymore is all.”
He’s right. I don’t even want to think about why. “It’s called happy hour in the city. It’s something coworkers do together for team building.”
Jesse struggles to escape the confines of his preschool-sized chair. By the time we’re both staring at the mangled plastic, he lets out a breath of defeat. “Guess I’ll be buying the library some new chairs. Good thing I make more money than I ever dreamed of now.”
“First round’s on you, then,” I fire back, my feathers good and ruffled. “The district pays you triple what I make.”
If I thought the drive to the library and then to the town’s finest watering hole in Jesse’s big, brand-new truck was awkward, I was sorely mistaken. Seems all I do is make mistakes these days.
We stand in the entryway to The Landing, both of us tighter than coiled springs. His tension feeds my own.
“On second thought, we got plenty of work done, and we should reward ourselves by having a nice relaxing weekend at home,” I murmur, unsure if he can even hear me over the country music blaring from the jukebox which competes with the crack of pool balls dancing across the tables in the back room and the din of inebriated laughter from the patrons.
“Naw, this is the perfect opportunity,” Jesse responds. He glances down at his suit then over at my pencil skirt and blouse. “If we’re gonna be part of this community again and gain their support for all our grand plans, then we gotta learn how to fit in. This was a brilliant idea, Nora. We ain’t gonna waste it.”
I don’t have time to contemplate his change of address because he grabs me by the elbow and drags me to the bar.
“Whiskey, neat,” he requests. “The lady’ll have a—”
“The same,” I cut him off.
He shakes his head as the bartender rushes to fill our orders. “Now, ya know ya don’t like mixin’ business with pleasure. I was gonna order ya a Coke.”
I shake off the insult and face him head-on. He’s well and good called my bluff by bringing me here. If I have to suffer through an evening with him, then I’m going to at least numb the pain. “If we’re going to fit in with the locals, then I’m going to have to learn how to like it, aren’t I?”
He leans into my personal space, his breath washing over my face. “If ya wanna blend in with the locals, then you’re gonna have to start talkin’ like one again.”
“I’m the new senior high English literature teacher. If I talk like the locals, they won’t believe I’m fit for my job.”
“Ya damn well know people around here don’t
like outsiders,” he fires back as he accepts our drinks and throws down some bills on the bar. “We gotta lead by changin’ from within.”
“Change ain’t always a bad thing,” a sultry voice chimes in, inserting herself between me and Jesse.
“Bobbi Sue Eakins!” Jesse wraps his arms around her and squeezes tight. “How the hell did ya get the night off from the kids?”
Her tinkling laugher rattles around in my skull as she oh-so-slowly disentangles herself from Jesse’s embrace. “They’re with my ma. It’s been a long week, and I more than deserved this night to myself.”
She fits the tip of her finger into the deep groove on Jesse’s chin, wiggling it around as he smiles a little too brightly over her apparent affections.
I can’t believe what I’m seeing, nor do I believe the first stupid thing that pops out of my mouth. “Eakins?”
She turns toward me with a shit-eating grin. “Well, well, well. Looky what the cat dragged back in. Ya been gone so long, Lenore, ya done missed all the excitement.”
“Eakins?” I repeat, dumbfounded. And I shouldn’t be. Not really. It was a foregone conclusion since forever ago.
“I’m thinkin’ about changin’ it back to Gentry. Course, I’d hate to have a different name than my babies.”
“Ya ain’t heard from him?” Jesse questions, his expression growing serious.
“Not a peep.” Bobbi Sue doesn’t seem all that broken up about it as she threads her arm through Jesse’s. “All’s well that ends well, and ain’t no time for depressin’ talk. You’re back for good! That’s cause for celebration!”
“Ya didn’t deserve his two-timin’ ways, Bobbi. I hope ya know it.” Jesse doesn’t seem nearly as uncomfortable with Bobbi Sue plastering herself against his body as I feel watching it.
She’s practically mounting him like a cat in heat.
“Come on back to the pool tables,” she purrs. “The whole gang’s out tonight.”
She leads Jesse through the crowd. I hesitate for a second until he grabs my hand to drag me along, too.