Homebound

by Kata Čuić

  The horror painted on Jesse’s face is what I done expected, but I can breathe again, and I ain’t going back to drowning.

  I suck in deep lungfuls of sweet autumn air while his eyes roam over me like he’s ready to haul me to the asylum.

  “Girl…” He shakes his head slowly. “I thought ya was crazy when I first met ya, but I reckon I ain’t no better seein’ as how eager I am to jump from the fryin’ pan into the fire.”

  “Get out,” I tell him, my voice meaner than his meanest day. “And if ya ever come back to this here treehouse, I’ll burn it down.”

  “Lenore!”

  The back screen door slams against the frame.

  “Lenore! Where are ya, angel?” Mama calls.

  All my anger melts into a puddle of fear. My screaming must have woken them up. Daddy’ll kill Jesse for sure.

  The stupid boy sticks his head out of the window of the treehouse with a grin that’s bound to draw Daddy’s fire. “She loves me!”

  I peek out to where my mama and daddy are standing on the steps of the back porch.

  Daddy scrubs his hand over his face and lowers his shotgun to his side. “Well, I coulda told ya that.”

  Mama pulls her robe tighter across her chest. “Lenore Euphemia Wheeler! Ya come down here this instant! You’re in your nightclothes, girl! Ya ain’t fit to be entertainin’ a male caller!”

  Jesse glances over at me, his face serious. “Your middle name is Euphemia?”

  I tear after him again, pummeling him for his sass.

  He laughs off every one of my blows and wraps his arms around me even though I’m still thrashing with rage. “Lenore Euphemia Wheeler loves me,” he yells to the mountains.

  The screen door slams again, and the crickets resume their nightly symphony.

  Jesse cradles my face in his hands. “My Nora loves me,” he says softly.

  Then he kisses all my anger clean away.

  We spend until the dawn playin’ a different game of pretend.

  Charity Begins at Home

  The town square looks nothing like I’ve ever seen it. Laughter rings through the air; young children chase each other through the street. Lights hang from every storefront, dug out months before Christmas for a completely different purpose.

  All the preparations have been a welcome distraction.

  “I have to hand it to Bobbi Sue, she did far better than I could have ever done.”

  Jesse grunts as he lifts the wooden front of the ticket booth, gesturing for me to nail it in place. “She knows good and well how to play on mountain pride. This here was easy enough to manage when she got the whole town involved in wantin’ to make themselves look good.”

  “I don’t know,” I pant as I hurry to take the load off Jesse. “I’m surprised they didn’t fight her tooth and nail. It’s not like we ever had a whole carnival for Homecoming before in town. Like you’re always saying, the folk around here don’t like change very much.”

  “Sure enough, but this here’s a change for the better. It’s not like we’re askin’ ‘em to do somethin’ they really don’t wanna do.”

  A smirk tugs at my lips as I choose to take his words at face value. “You are absolutely shaking in your boots about the faculty meeting next week to discuss the sexual education classes, aren’t you?”

  He glances down then back at me with a grin. “I ain’t wearin’ any boots, Nora.”

  I push away another memory he’s trying to drag me down into. I will not let myself succumb to his charms again. That kiss I allowed was entirely selfish.

  “Daddy!” A shriek tears down the street ahead of a little body that throws itself at Jesse’s legs. “Save me!”

  My heart stops beating in my chest, leaving a dull, hollow sensation in its place. I don’t have to glance around to know every eye within earshot is trained on Jesse hoisting Anne into his arms.

  “What’s the matter, little darlin’?” he croons. “Who’s after ya?”

  I reach for her. “Mr. Yates,” I command in no uncertain terms. “You’ll call him Mr. Yates.”

  Jesse shifts her to his other side, casting me an offended glare. “Leave her be. She wants her daddy.”

  “Are you touched?” I hiss. “Look around you! Everyone heard her call you that!”

  He rolls his eyes at me as he tucks Anne’s head under his chin, smoothing down her wild hair while covering her ear with his big hand. “What everyone thinks of me ain’t my concern.”

  “Oh, yes, it most certainly is,” I fire back. “You are the principal of the high school. You’re planning a complete curriculum overhaul that you need their support for, as you’re so fond of reminding me. Are you really going to waste all the years you spent working so hard to put yourself in this position to do right by every kid in this town in favor of spoiling one?”

  Jesse leans down, his voice low. “I ain’t gonna waste another second.” He returns his attention to Anne, who’s shuffled loose and is glaring in the direction of the general store where Bobbi Sue’s kids are glaring back at her. So much for a playdate while we set up for the carnival. “Now, then, my little princess. What’s this all about?”

  He strides across the street with Anne in his arms as she chatters on about her trouble. Most of the faculty and important townspeople watch the unfolding scene like buzzards waiting for their next meal to finally die.

  No sooner does Anne scurry out of Jesse’s hold than a full-on scuffle starts—arms and legs and a pink cast a flurry of movement.

  I run toward the melee, already planning to drag her home even if she kicks and screams the whole way.

  Bobbi Sue wipes her hands on her apron as she steps out of the nearby restaurant, obviously having heard all the ruckus. “Billy Jo! Mary Bobbi! Sue Ann! Stop that right now, ya hear me? You’re supposta be playin’ with Anne not beatin’ on her!”

  I slap my hands over my mouth as Jesse breaks up the ball of little limbs, holding Anne by the collar of her dress and Sue Ann by hers. Sue Ann drags an arm across her bloody lip.

  “Anne Shirley Wheeler!” I screech, my voice painful even to my own ears. “You can’t use your cast to beat people in the head!”

  Jesse rolls his lips in between his teeth and turns his face to the side, but the shaking of his shoulders gives away his silent laughter. He holds the girls apart while they keep trying to get at each other again until he regains his composure. “Y’all’s actin’ like little varmints instead of like little ladies! What on earth are ya fightin’ so about?”

  “I told Anne ya was gonna be my daddy, and she said ya was already hers!” Sue Ann shrieks.

  “He is my daddy, and you can’t have him!” Anne yells back even more loudly.

  All the blood in my body drains to pool at my feet.

  “I reckon charity begins at home,” a low voice rumbles at my back. “How many homes ya got, Principal Yates?”

  It’s the elementary school principal, Mr. Murphy.

  Bobbi Sue glances around at the circling vultures. Her smile is wide as she waves her hand through the air like this isn’t a full-blown scandal. “If charity begins at home, then I reckon Mr. Yates should be the elementary principal instead of at the high school. Youngins love him so much, they’d be readin’, writin’, and doin’ arithmetic just to gain his favor. I can’t think of a better fit for a teacher.”

  I shoot Bobbi Sue a grateful glance for her quick thinking and quicker speech to salvage Jesse’s reputation.

  She winks at me. “…or a better fit for a husband and father. Any single woman in town would be proud to hang on the arm of a fine, upstandin’ man like him.”

  I snatch Anne from Jesse’s grip and hoist her into my arms, ignoring her blows and protests. “We’re so sorry for the trouble. Bobbi Sue, I’ll be happy to drive Sue Ann to the medical center and see to her injuries soon as I return. Mr. Yates, thank you for your aid with my poorly behaved little girl. I know you have better things to do with your time. I’ll just drop Anne off at home with
my mama then be back to finish setting up.” I turn toward the skeptical faces surrounding us with what I hope is my best fake smile. “Ya know how young girls are prone to fancy. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me for bein’ so sinful. Don’t hold it against these kids. Mine don’t know no better, and Bobbi Sue’s babies just miss their daddy is all.”

  With a final curt nod of apology, I dash away, struggling to contain a thrashing Anne as I make my way to my parked car.

  I’m shrugging off screams, cries, and blows that I fully deserve while I buckle her into her booster seat when a rough grip pulls me out of the back seat.

  Jesse’s expression practically steams with rage. “Don’t you never lower yourself nor her in the eyes of the whole town again, ya hear me?”

  I thread my hands through my hair and glance heavenward for strength I’m running dangerously low on. Tears stream down my face with no pride left to hold them back. My heart breaks for Anne, but it also breaks for Bobbi Sue’s kids. These innocent babes are caught up in a game they never asked for. A game Jesse’s own mother tried to warn me about. “What’s done is done,” I croak. “You’re already swimming up the creek with no paddle. What would have happened if your mama had come upon that scene, huh? How much scandal can one man fight and still attain his goals? It took me a long time to realize how much your mama’s actions bruised your pride. Don’t ask me to bring you low again. I love Anne too much to leave her open to their judgment after what I saw it do to you. I’m trying to be a good mother, Jesse, but you’re tying my hands. I shouldn’t be here, but I can’t leave neither. Just leave us be and—”

  He pulls me against him, crushing my face against his hard chest. His voice is choked with tears, too. “Don’t say that, darlin’. Don’t take her away from me. I never denied my mama outta love, and I won’t never deny Anne neither.”

  I push away. Hard. “I am begging you to leave us alone! I warned you not to break her heart! Now just look at her!”

  Anne thrashes in the confines of her booster seat—crying, screaming, kicking. Doing everything I want to do but age doesn’t allow.

  Jesse reaches in to comfort her. I try in vain to pull him away.

  He glances over his shoulder at me, his eyes frosty and hard. “Don’t you dare put your pride above her wellbein’. If anyone knows how much that hurts a tender heart, it’s you.”

  Eight Years Ago

  “Jesse, lemme get Daddy,” I plead, using the sleeve of my shirt to staunch his bleeding eyebrow.

  “No.” He grabs my wrist, his glazed eyes hard. “Ya wanna see him go to prison?”

  “Then lemme call the police!”

  Jesse’s head thumps back against the dirty, matted carpet in the sitting room of his trailer. His eyes drift closed. “Then they’ll take her to prison. Don’t do that to her. She can’t help herself none.”

  I glance to the couch where Mrs. Yates is sprawled out, sawing logs. Jesse forced me to tend to her first, and far as I can reckon, she’s all right. She’s not near as banged up as her only child.

  “There’s gotta be somethin’ I can do!”

  Jesse’s eyes blink open. His small smile is tinged with blood. “Ya can leave, darlin’. I love ya somethin’ fierce, and I ain’t never wanted this for ya. It’s why I done tried to push ya away all those years.”

  I sniff away my stupid tears as I tend to his broken face. “Ya oughtta know by now I ain’t keen on doin’ what I’m told.”

  “I know it.” There’s a gurgling quality to his laugh that scares me senseless. “If even Kenny Lawson couldn’t drag ya away from me, then I reckon nothin’ can.”

  “Sure enough.” I place my hand gingerly on his swollen cheek. “Ya ain’t never wanted my help, but I reckon it’s time to abandon your pride. Charity begins at home.”

  He brings me down to rest across his sprawled body. “You’re my home, Lenore Wheeler, sure as your light casts a new dawn for me every day. It ain’t fittin’ for ya to be bound to my misery, what with all the grand plans ya been imaginin’ for yourself since before I even knew how much I loved ya.”

  “I been imaginin’ grand plans for ya, too.” I nuzzle the fine, soft skin of his neck. “You’re so smart. Smarter than anyone I know. You’re gonna make somethin’ of yourself, Jess. I just know ya are. If you’ll let me help, we can get your mama squared away, so ya can leave these here mountains and chase your dreams.”

  “I done tried.” He sighs, his chest heaving beneath me. “I got a job. I pay all the bills. There ain’t no reason for her to keep livin’ like this. Somewhere along the way, she lost herself and grew to like this life. Ya might think I’m the smartest person ya know, but I can’t piece together where it all went so wrong.”

  “She put her pride above your wellbein’,” I grit out, fed up with her selfishness. “My mama told me stories about when we were babes. After your daddy died, my mama and daddy tried to help y’all, but she up and threw away their charity one day. Said she wanted to provide for ya on her own.” My anger softens, remembering the night she cried to her dead husband after the principal had his way with her. “If ya get outta these here mountains and make somethin’ real fine of yourself, then she won’t do this no more. Ya won’t get beat up by men who are bein’ too rough with her when ya try to defend her honor.”

  “That might be.” He coughs. “But she likes the drink and the drugs. No amount of money in the world is gonna chase away those demons. She’ll land right back where she started.”

  I raise myself up to look him in the eyes and explain, “I think they help her play pretend. When she’s flyin’ high, she pretends those men are your daddy. She don’t have to miss him so much if they’re lovin’ on her.”

  His face crumples, and the dimple in his chin deepens. I never could understand why Bobbi Sue made fun of the way he looks. In my eyes, he’s the most handsome man who ever lived.

  He holds my face with his shaky hand. “I know that right well. Why do ya think I’m always tryin’ to get ya to quit playin’ pretend? I don’t wanna see ya in the same state as my mama.”

  “Pretend has its place,” I whisper against his busted lips. I don’t wanna hurt him none, but I’m always itchin’ to be close to him now that I know he loves me as much as I love him. “Pretendin’ is just dreamin’ with our eyes wide open. And I’m dreamin’ ‘bout the day ya don’t have to work your fingers to the bone in the mines like my daddy. I’m pretendin’ enough money will make your mama all better. I’m imaginin’ our babies growin’ up with the love of a mama and a daddy.”

  “Ya don’t want babies.” He laughs then moans.

  “I don’t want ‘em before the time is right,” I remind him, hauling him up from the ground. “We got grand plans, you and me, Jesse Yates. All we gotta do is work hard enough to see ‘em come to fruition.”

  He raises a lopsided eyebrow at me as we shuffle toward his bedroom. “Think I’ll settle for pickin’ a fight on a night I ain’t supposed to meet ya, so ya won’t get worried and come lookin’ for me.”

  “Ya owe me a real nice date, Jess,” I pant as I drop him onto his mattress. “Mind ya, I’ll be expectin’ flowers and more than just pizza.”

  He’s face down on his old, flat pillow. “Why couldn’t ya just stay with Kenny?”

  I use all my might to roll him over, so I can kiss him again. “’Cause I love ya, ya dumb hillbilly.”

  “Your love is gonna get me through the impossible,” he murmurs, reaching for me. “And one day when all your dreams come to fruition, and my mama ain’t the talk of the town, I’m gonna parade ya right through the town square on my arm like the happiest man who ever lived.”

  I shake my head. If he weren’t already so busted up, I’d punch him for his simplemindedness. “Did it ever occur to ya I’d be proud for ya to parade me through town right this very minute without your pride gettin’ in the way?”

  His face twists into bruised confusion. “No. Why would a classy woman like ya be proud to be paraded on the arm of
the town whore’s son?”

  “Why would the smartest man in town be proud to be paradin’ a simple miner’s daughter on his arm?”

  “’Cause you’re my Nora,” he says as if I’m the stupid one.

  “And you’re my Jesse.” I kiss him gently one more time. Just ‘cause I can.

  Pride Has Its Place

  “Did I ever tell ya about the time Jesse walked right up to me and punched me in the face?”

  My hands freeze on the punch ladle. I stare at Kenny. “No…”

  He nods and smiles at the students who walk up to the table like there’s nothing strange going on. “Y’all havin’ a good time?”

  They squint at him a little, their faces twisting into a typically teenage sneer.

  “This here is good punch.” He takes a healthy gulp. “Anyone bring somethin’ to spike it with?”

  I elbow him. He chokes.

  “Miss Wheeler.” One of my favorite students leans across the table and whispers, “Are ya all right back here with this one? Ya want I should go get Principal Yates?”

  “No!” I yelp a little too loudly before smoothing out my panic. “I’m perfectly fine, Laurel. Mr. Lawson is just…”

  Still sputtering like a drama student rather than a former football player.

  I hand over a cup of punch with a smile. “Everything is under control. You all look so beautiful! We should take pictures for the yearbook later!”

  The girls agree with wide smiles, but they cast suspicious glares at Kenny as they walk away.

  “What was that?”

  He finally swallows and breathes deeply. “Almost dyin’, I reckon.”