Gina stumbled and the sheer force of his assault sent her crashing to the floor. She stared wide-eyed up at him as he loomed over her. She couldn’t speak, utterly astonished and equally petrified. She couldn’t prevent a cry as he dragged her up by her hair and hit her again, catching her hard across the lip.
Aiden enjoyed the look of alarm on her face as she wiped blood away with the back of her hand. She was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t even cry. He walked to the door then, turning back to her, he said, “Clean yourself up and be back in the next room in five minutes,” then he disappeared, leaving her to drag her body up onto shaking legs.
Returning to Ashley and Shelly, Aiden announced, “First-time jitters. She’ll be back in a bit.”
Shelly finished her drink then stood up from the couch and disappeared from the room. Aiden settled down in her place and sparked up a cigarette to calm his nerves.
Gina stood before the mirror above the sink in Ashley’s tiny bathroom and winced as she dabbed a wet tissue over the cut on her lip, taking in her mascara-stained cheeks and glistening green eyes. There was a quiet tap on the door and Shelly stepped in with a knowing expression on her moderately pretty face. “Hey, girl, are you alright?” Gina instantly felt embarrassed and angered that this stranger was witnessing her humiliation. She didn’t answer Shelly and continued to concentrate on her lip.
Shelly sighed. She didn’t like to get involved in other people’s business, but tonight it would be better for the girl before her if she did. “Look, I don’t know you, but I’m pretty sure your man didn’t drag you here tonight kicking and screaming, despite what he’s just done to you. I reckon you wanna give this a go… but then the reality of it hits you and you lose all confidence in the idea. It’s natural. All I can say is, I’ve been in this game for seven years and if you want me to try and help you, I will, but I ain’t gonna beg, alright?”
Gina finally turned to her. “I want to do it for him,” then she quickly corrected herself, “for us… but I’m not sure I can.”
“You love this bloke…” It wasn’t a question, but Gina nodded and began to sob. Shelly sighed. “Girl, he’s a bad egg…”
“Don’t say that. He’s not really. He’s just desperate for a better life. We both are.”
Shelly knew it would be a pointless task attempting to educate this young girl about the train-wreck her life would inevitably be if she allowed herself to be deceived by the good-looking young man downstairs, all in the name of love. Oh, she could spot men like him a mile off: irresistibly handsome and cocksure of himself, that young lad must floor all the girls he meets with just one of his pearly-white smiles. She had to admit to herself that even she had done a double-take when she’d come in tonight and seen him standing there eyeing her up with a gleam of opportunity in his exquisite blue eyes. She’d not seen eyes like them before. A girl could drown herself in those eyes, and that was exactly what this poor girl was bound to do.
“Who is he? I’ve not seen him here before.”
“Aiden Foster…” Gina quietly replied as if just speaking his name crippled her.
“Has he worked with Ash before?”
Gina shook her head. “This is our first time.”
“Look, if you’re still game, let me help you out.” Gina stared at the woman before her for a moment then finally nodded her agreement. “Have you been with a girl before?” Shelly asked. Gina blushed and shook her head. “OK, take off your clothes…”
Gina’s green eyes shot up to Shelly’s brown. “What?” she gasped.
Shelly shrugged. “It’s kind of an essential part of the job, so take them off, in here, just in front of me.”
Gina hesitated, then sighed. She had to get through tonight. She had to do this for Aiden. It wasn’t the fear of him that gave her the will to do it. She wanted to do it, because she wanted to believe what he’d said to her: that once they’d made enough money, they’d move away together.
“OK, OK…” she muttered and dropped the blooded tissue into the bin beside the sink. She glanced one more time in the mirror to see that the cut on her lip had stopped bleeding. She had to swallow down the urge to cry. In all the times she and Aiden had quarrelled, never had he hurt her like this. She dashed the image of his assault from her mind’s eye and began to undress slowly and hesitantly.
Shelly went on, “What you need to do is close your mind off to what is going on around you. You’re here to do a job and to get paid at the end of it. And if you master this job, you can get paid extremely well, especially with your looks. Closing your mind isn’t easy at first, but like taking your clothes off, it’s essential to get the job done.”
Gina was down to her bra and knickers. Shelly looked over her body with a mixture of envy and admiration. Not only was this girl beautiful, she was half her age with a body to die for. She would earn well, as long as she played her cards right and mixed with the right people.
Gina’s arms went round her back to unclasp her bra, but she hesitated.
“Close your eyes,” Shelly instructed. Gina did so reluctantly. “Now think about what you did yesterday. Or even what you plan to do tomorrow.” Shelly paused then asked, “You doing that?” Gina’s arms fell to her side and she nodded, her eyes remaining closed. Her mind drifted to an evening she’d spent with Aiden. She pictured his hands over her breasts and imagined the feel of his touch around her sex. “What you thinking?” Shelly asked, her voice breaking through Gina’s fantasy.
“One night, when Aiden…”
“Probably best not to think of anything sexual, especially about the man you love, who in five minutes will be standing there watching you getting fucked by someone else.” Gina opened her eyes and saw the disapproving look on Shelly’s face. She went to argue, to explain her relationship with Aiden, but Shelly hurried on, “Close your eyes again and think of something a little more mundane. Like shopping or making your dinner. What did you eat yesterday?”
Gina closed her eyes once more. “I had pasta for dinner,” she said.
“OK, what kind of pasta?”
“Pasta shells with tomato sauce…”
“Picture yourself making it. What utensils did you use? Did you use just one pan or one pan for the pasta and one for the sauce? Was the sauce out of a jar or a packet? Did you microwave it…?”
As Shelly continued to ask questions, Gina began to form a picture in her mind of the tasks she’d carried out to make her dinner the evening before. She used her mind’s eye to picture the silver pan she’d used, picture herself having to scrub the burned bits off the bottom where she’d attempted to make porridge a few days before. She pictured herself having to pop back down the local shop to get more pasta because she’d forgotten that she’d used most of it up the week before when she’d attempted a pasta bake…
She gasped. “What are you doing?”
Shelly’s fingers were lightly touching the lace of Gina’s knickers. “Teaching you the art of closing your mind off to the things that are happening around you. Please trust me,” she replied. Gina stared into her brown eyes for a long moment before closing her eyes once more. “Keep thinking about making your dinner. Really try hard to close your mind off to what I’m doing.” -
Gina was back in her flat. She was sticking the kettle on to boil. She was taking the pasta out of the cupboard… she had to prevent a flinch when she felt Shelly’s fingers touch her again, but she forced her mind back to her kitchen.
The fleshy tips of Shelly’s fingers moved slowly beneath her knickers and traced over her pubic hair. Gina closed her eyes tight and concentrated on controlling her breathing, her quickening heart. She concentrated on her pasta, on how relieved she had been when it had softened because she hadn’t eaten all day and she had been starving. She concentrated on how it had tasted and how it had burned as it had gone down because she had been too impatient to wait until it had cooled down…
She took in a sharp breath when she felt Shelly’s fingers enter her, but she sque
ezed her eyes closed, emptying her mind of the feeling of Shelly’s fingers as they filled her. She concentrated on the washing up, the good feeling of a full stomach.
When she opened her eyes again, Shelly was washing her hands in the sink, watching her through the reflection of the mirror. She smiled widely, “See, not so bad, eh?”
Gina exhaled a sigh of relief and her whole body relaxed into it. Shelly was right. If you concentrated your mind on something else, tricked your mind into thinking you were elsewhere, your body was willing. It was an art she would soon fully master, and she was deeply grateful to Shelly for sharing that little piece of wisdom with her. She wished she’d learnt it earlier. She could have used it on her father.
“What’s your full name?” Gina asked.
“Shelly Jane Matthews,” Shelly replied, drying her hands. Then, taking a satin dressing gown from the back of the bathroom door, she passed it to her. “Get your bra and knicks off and wrap yourself in that.” She opened a small drawer beneath the sink and pulled out a make-up bag. “I leave this here for emergencies,” she explained, holding up the plastic case. She pulled out a stick of concealer and a lipstick. “Here, put some concealer on that cheek. The bruise is starting to show, and put some lipstick on that lip. Then let’s get on with this, shall we, before your face looks like you’ve grown a tumour?” Gina took the make-up gratefully. Shelly made to leave. Turning at the door, she added, “Remember, the key is to close your mind.”
Gina nodded. “Thanks.”
“No problem. Look, us girls have got to stick together in this game, but it don’t happen often, so take the support when you can.”
Shelly gave Gina a reassuring smile before disappearing. Gina then took a deep breath, applied her make-up as instructed and made her way back down into the lion’s den.
************
“Come on, G. I said I was fucking sorry!”
Aiden pounded his fist on the door of Gina’s flat. The night had been a success. Gina had played a blinder and Ashley had agreed to meet up again. And, once they had a full film, he would consider a year’s contract, using Gina and anyone else Aiden recommended – with auditions first, of course. But Gina was going to be a star. That much was clear. She was so hot on camera that it had turned Aiden on no end. She had a definite flair. She had been so relaxed the entire time.
Shelly had led the whole scene, but Gina would soon learn the ropes and become the main attraction and Shelly seemed quite willing to let that happen. She’d made a comment about getting too old for the kind of shit that was required to make the real money in sex videos. All Aiden needed to do now was ensure that Gina was always experimenting in front of the camera and bring a few more actors into the fold. He had a master plan in mind too, but he’d keep that one to himself for a while, see how things panned out.
When there was no response from Gina, who had sneaked off with Shelly after filming and had got a taxi home without him, he pounded the door once again. “G! Do you want me on my fucking knees, or what?”
A shape behind the frosted glass of the door made him step back. “Fuck off, Aiden. I think I’ve done enough for you for one night!” Gina yelled.
“Come on, G, I’m really sorry it got a bit heated between us, but I knew you could do it! I didn’t want you giving up, that’s all. I fucking love ya, don’t I? I just wanted this to work for the both of us!” There was a moment’s silence then he heard the door unlocking. His eyes were beseeching and his expression apologetic when Gina swung the door open and stared out at him. “Come on, baby, let me in. It’s fucking cold out here…”
He searched her face. She’d removed her make-up and it showed off her swollen, cracked lip and her cheek, which was now a shiny purple colour. He felt a twinge of guilt, but not as much as he should have done.
Gina stood aside and let him pass. She was sucked in once more. Her icy determination to abandon him was now replaced by a burning hunger for the man who stood before her looking as if he was truly sorry for what he’d done. She couldn’t resist him, even though some distant voice in the back of her mind was screaming at her to toss him out onto the street and never speak to him again. But when Aiden’s hands found their way beneath her night shirt and his soft lips found her neck, that voice was eclipsed by a deeper yearning for his love.
“Gina Watson… an extremely complex character. I sometimes wonder if I was the only one who really got her, maybe because we were both of the same ilk. Yes, I probably did take advantage, but believe me, Gina wasn’t one for doing something she didn’t want to do.”
Aiden Foster
(1969–2002)
HMP Maidstone
7th December 2001
Chapter twenty-six
June 1989
“Gina, just lift your arse up a bit more…”
Gina’s arms were in agony. She had been in the doggy-style position for over half an hour now. As she raised her backside into the air, her triceps shook violently. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Where was Aiden?
Aiden was meant to have arrived two hours ago to pick her up. Ashley was just taking the piss now. They should have finished shooting hours ago. But she couldn’t say anything. If Aiden found out she was giving Ashley shit again, he would give her a hiding, and she needed cheerful Aiden tonight. She couldn’t bear irate Aiden again this week.
“And a bit more, Gina…”
She complied once more and shivered when she felt cold lube being applied to her anus. “Ashley, ain’t it a bit late for this?” she asked, as politely as she could.
She didn’t receive a reply. She felt Leon, her Caribbean co-star, drape his muscular body over her back and a stabbing pain as his large member entered her at the rear.
“OK, roll the camera,” Ashley instructed Paul, their new cameraman.
Gina took another deep breath and instantly she was back in character. Panting loudly, she made all the required noises of someone who was enjoying the pleasure of Leon’s buggery. She batted her long fake eyelashes at the camera, licked her red lips seductively, and bared her teeth as if she couldn’t bear the pleasure she was receiving.
When Aiden stepped into the dark, spotlit room, he sparked up a cigarette and watched the scene before him with a nonchalance that conveyed that he’d seen it all many times before. Gina had made over sixty short films in the past couple of years. He was earning a packet out of her, and he was seeing Gina right too. She had become a bit of a star across the East End. The only problem was, there was a lot of competition from bigger stars across the rest of the city, more importantly the West, and though he and Ashley had had meetings with some of the top distributors across the city, they had all expressed their interest in Gina doing some of the ‘harder’ style films. Apparently, she looked too hot for general porno. He’d been told over and over that using her in such films was a waste of her talents – there were enough girls at their disposal for those nowadays – and a lot cheaper. Aiden was well aware of what they were asking of Gina, and even he wondered if he’d be able to sleep at night if he forced her to do that sort of shit. But it was frustrating to miss out on all that money.
Leon was on the verge of ejaculating, and Gina closed her eyes and thanked the Lord that he and the film were nearly done. Leon let out a groan, pulled out of her and came over her back. Gina cried out with false pleasure and allowed Leon to collapse onto her. Finally, she was able to relax her arms and she allowed herself to drop to the floor. Leon licked her face, she responded with another false groan, and the scene was finished.
“Cut!” Ashley instructed. “Good day today, all!”
“I’ll say…” Gina muttered to herself.
Leon stood up and, holding out a hand, he pulled her up from the floor. Paul ran onto the set and handed Leon a handful of tissues. He took them and began wiping his juices off Gina’s back then his own stomach. “Long day, eh?” he announced, conversationally, as he casually got on with the task. Gina smiled and nodded. Leon wasn’t at all bad
. It wasn’t his fault that Ashley had made them work late again. He was merely doing his job, just like her. They said their goodbyes and she slipped on a dressing gown and approached Aiden. “Hi.”
“Alright?”
She nodded. “I need to get showered. Can I come back to yours? Maybe we could have an early night?” she added suggestively, running a long fake fingernail down the middle of his chest. He was wearing a crisp white shirt and black tie, and she wondered where he had been, but she didn’t dare ask. Aiden didn’t like her questioning him all the time. He was frequently absent, away with Kamal and his brothers or trying to sell the films. The car business was practically run by Alex nowadays and, though he still worked closely with Reggie, the need to collect debts was at an all-time low.
“I’m seeing someone later…” he replied flatly.
She got the sense that he wasn’t interested in seeing her. She wrapped her dressing gown around herself and stormed from the room. Aiden sighed. He would have to sort Gina out a car. He couldn’t keep coming to pick her up all the time, whatever he’d promised. He had other business to attend to.
Since he’d been working with the KKKs, he’d been all over the city, following people who owed Kamal money or people Kamal needed to threaten in order to get what he wanted. Each and every approach had eventually turned into a ruckus. Sometimes he was instructed to just give someone a swift kicking; sometimes it was far worse. Murder was all part of the job. Aiden didn’t think twice about cutting someone’s throat nowadays. Long gone were the days when he had hesitated, and gone were the days when he had been scared.
He loved it. He finally felt like he was ‘somebody’. Kamal had given him the credentials he’d needed to move even further up the ranks. He now associated with other Faces, and although he continued to keep himself to himself as always, he sometimes socialised with them too, in London’s most trendy bars and clubs.
With the intention to expand, Aiden had convinced some of the local girls to do a little night work for him as a side-line. It had been a natural progression from being involved in the sex film industry. Ashley had mentioned about some girls looking for work. They were nowhere near the beauty that Gina was, so they hadn’t made it onto the screen, but Aiden had come up with another plan; yet another branch to his money making tree.
Human Conditioning Page 19