by L Bowers
I stood next to Angela on the battlefield. The ruined husks of machines sparked and smoldered all around us. Lenashal of all shapes and sizes rose from the mechanical carcasses and bathed the area in blue light.
When the light touched me, I felt lighter and energized. I looked at my wide-eyed girlfriend while it engulfed her. Scrapes on her chin and face knit together in seconds while her posture went from sagging fatigue to upright and battle-ready.
“What is this?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but it’s amazing.”
“Take her hand,” Aspen thought to me. I did as instructed to create a link that Aspen could use to communicate with Angela. “They are leaving.”
“Yes,” Reggie added in his deep, rumbling voice. “The Lenashal are doing what they can to repay you for their freedom. It may not be much, but it is all they can manage.”
“I’m not complaining,” I said. “This is wonderful.”
“Yeah,” Angela said in a dreamy tone. “This is amazing. It feels so good, so warm, so comfortable.”
Bryant stomped over from where he was fighting. “I hope now you can trust that I am sincere. I want to help end this and atone.”
I nodded. “I get that. I don’t know how you’ll be received once we're taken back up, but I’ll put in a good word for you.”
“That’s all I can ask.”
I stepped forward within arms’ reach of him, then thrust my hand out. “I owe you one. If not for you…” I looked over my shoulder at Angela.
“No,” Bryant said. “None of you would be here if not for us. If anything, I owe you. For now, let’s focus on the next steps.”
“I wondered about that,” Standish said as he joined us. “We need to end the threat this planet possesses so we can get the hell out of here.”
“I agree,” Kopf said as he and Pruise appeared next to Standish. “I’m so done with this place.”
“Since when can you do that with other people?” I asked.
“Hell if I know,” Kopf responded. “I kinda did it while we were fighting. Badass, right?”
We fist-bumped. “Damn straight it is.”
“We’re close,” Bryant interrupted. “If we keep going, we reach the place where the disk is and end this.”
“You know how to use it?” I asked.
“Sort of,” Bryant replied. “Enough that we should be able to figure it out.”
“I’m going to give my Marines a chance to eat and rest,” I said.
“All right,” he replied. “I’ll meet you there.”
I stayed there for a long while and watched the half-man, half-machine lumber away. He seemed like a good dude, and it was a shame he ended up where he did. I hoped he would find some meaning in all this and a way to move on. What would his life be like going forward?
“You mentioned something about chow?” Jones said.
“Yeah, sorry,” I replied. My stomach let out an angry growl as it agreed with my girl. “We better get to it.”
My core team, my fireteam leaders, and I sat in a circle while we ate. I’d described the situation to them, but had yet to get their input. I took my time and hoped someone would say something before I finished. They were too good at what they did and had too much experience for me to not turn to them for guidance.
“But you are the one in charge. The person they turn to for leadership,” Aspen said.
She was right. I set my food down on the rock I used for a chair. “You all know what we expect to face next. I want to hear what you think we should do about it.”
“We could rush in guns blazing,” Corporal Seriph said.
“Nah,” Corporal Trumbull replied. “I think we need to sneak up and take them unaware. Get in close and cut off the head so the rest of those mechanical freaks fall over dead.”
“I think we need more information,” Corporal Bowen said. “While I don’t doubt that any plan we come up with will eventually go to shit, I know our best chance of success is more intel.” He looked across the circle at me. “What do you say, Sergeant? Care to do that bird thing again and get us a rough estimate of numbers and positioning?”
“I have no problem doing that,” I replied. “I think it’s probably our best option at the moment.”
“I don’t,” Jones said. “Scouting puts you out there alone and cut off. We can’t reach you if you need help unless it’s too late. By too late, I mean you plummeted to the ground and went splat.”
“Then what do you think we should do?” Corporal Seriph asked.
“I’m not sure,” Jones said. “I think it’s safe to say the biggest fight we’ve fought yet is coming when we cross the ridgeline. Intel would be great, but we shouldn’t put one Devil Dog in a position where he could be attacked with no support.”
“What about a ground team?” Standish added. “We send in a reconnaissance fireteam, old-school. Then they beat feet back here once we know what’s what. Thoughts?”
“I think it’s a good plan,” Kopf said.
“I’m glad you approve,” Standish replied. “If anyone is cut out for that work it’s you and your vanishing asshole trick.”
“What?” Kopf snapped. “No way, I…” He looked down and around as his mind seemed to go a million miles an hour. “I…” His expression made it evident that the truth of the matter was clear. “Well shit, I guess I am. But I want Pruise with me.”
“Of course you do,” Seriph snickered. “Gotta show your girl how tough you are.”
“Sure,” Kopf shrugged as his cheeks turned red. “But it’ll be good to have the muscle around too. Her Lenashal is the real deal.”
“That’s a good point,” I cut in before the conversation could devolve into dick jokes as any good Marine conversation eventually does among enlisted. “We need to figure out who has Lenashal and abilities that make them suited for this sort of thing.”
“I’m in then,” Jones said. She manifested Reggie’s ears. “I can hear a lot with these things. I’m sure this ability will come in handy.”
“Good call,” Kopf said.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“I agree with Jones and Kopf,” Standish said.
“Not sure I do,” I replied. I knew they were right, but I didn’t want to put Jones in a position where she was going to be in harm’s way without me there to back her up. Was it sexist and wrong of me to feel that way? Yup. Did I care? Nope, not one bit.
“Okay,” Jones said. “We need two more to make this work.”
Everyone continued the discussion as I stayed quiet. It wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to add. Well, I didn’t, but I wasn’t sure fighting to keep Angela away from the recon mission was the right thing to do either.
“It is wise to allow your mate to perform the actions they are suited to,” Aspen said. “Even if it causes us distress. Have faith in her, for she is a strong warrior.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t change the fact that I want to keep her safe.”
“Do you want the same for every one of your Marines?”
“You know I do, Aspen,” I replied with in a mental huff. “Why ask me what you already know?”
“Because,” she replied in a patient tone. “Sometimes, we need to be reminded of that. Even I need it. But right now, you need to remember who Angela is, and who she was before you came into her life. She would have done this sort of mission, then and probably has in the past. Have faith, my bonded.”
“You’re right. Thanks for the advice.”
“I like to think it’s one of the reasons I’m here. Being only a source for power would be a fate worse than death, be it for a machine, or a flesh and blood organism.”
“You are so much more than that to me, Aspen.”
“Does that work for you, Sergeant Goshawk?” Corporal Bowen pulled me from my conversation.
I had no idea what he was talking about, but I didn’t want to make them repeat and look like an ass. “I like it. Let’s get the wheels turning so we can get
this over with.”
“You heard the man,” Corporal Seriph said as she stood. “I’m going to gather the others. I’ll be back in a few.”
The rest of the squad’s leadership left along with Kopf and Standish. Angela stayed next to my side.
“How much of that did you hear?” Angela asked.
“You guys lost me after you decided to join the mission and everyone agreed,” I replied while doing my best to keep the hurt I felt from leaking out.
“I thought so.” She turned to face me. “Look, Ray, this isn’t personal. I’m—”
“The baddest Marine we have,” I cut in. “And one of the few uniquely suited to do this job. I know, Angela. I’m sorry for trying to keep you from it. I’m worried you’ll go over the ridge and never come back, or come back as a half-human, half-mechanical bunny.”
She placed her hand on my arm. “I’m worried about that too. For all we know, as soon as we leave another group of machines will attack here, and I’ll never see you again. None of us want that, but it's part of the job we signed up to do.”
She looked down for a moment while biting her lower lip. It was cute as hell, and I wanted to lean in and kiss her. Not the right time, unfortunately. “Let’s make a promise to one another, okay?” I nodded without knowing what I was getting myself into. “I promise to do everything in my power to come back to you in one fleshy piece. Do you promise to stay safe here and be ready for anything so when I come back, you’re alive and kicking?”
“You got a deal,” I replied.
“No deals,” she said. “That’s the kind of thing you do with Kopf and Standish. I want a promise from my man. Like the promise his woman gave him.”
“You’re right, Angela. I promise to be here, ready and alert, so when you come back, I’ll be here waiting.”
There were too many Marines around for me to get a kiss, so I had to settle for the warm smile she gave.
“We’re ready,” Seriph said as she returned with Kopf, Pruise, and two others in tow. “Time to do the ass-kicking and name-taking.”
24
Goshawk
My feet carried me back and forth as I waited. Thoughts of failure and death penetrated my mind like an invasive cancer. No matter how I tried to shift my thinking, there it was again.
“We should get our gear ready for when it’s our time to act,” Standish said from his seated position a few feet away.
“I’m ready,” I replied without missing a step.
“There is always more we could do to be ready,” Corporal Seriph said from her spot across from Standish.
“Mags are topped off,” I snapped. “Canteen is topped off, weapon is clean, armor is clean, belly is full, and I’ve taken a piss. Anything I’m missing?”
“No,” Seriph replied in a dejected tone. “I guess you have everything covered.”
“Everything except setting an example for your troops,” Standish barked just loud enough to be heard among the corporals and me. “So how about you sit your ass down and look like everything is well under control. Or do you want every swing dick here to get worked up and freak out when the time comes to fight?”
“Shit,” I said in a drawn-out exhale. “I hadn’t thought of that.” I took my seat while feeling like a puppy that was smacked on the snout with a newspaper. “How the hell am I supposed to sit here and wait?”
“Why do you think ‘hurry up and wait’ is a large part of our lives in garrison?” Standish asked.
“For situations like this?” My tone was unsure, but I thought he might have clued me in to something important about Marine life.
“That’s right,” Standish replied. “Training doesn’t stop after boot camp. That includes conditioning us for all the mind games we’ll see in combat. It’s one of the reasons Marines aren’t discouraged from sleeping while we play the ‘hurry up and wait’ game. A sleeping Marine is a Devil Dog not concerned about the battle ahead. I suggest you do whatever you did during the ‘hurry up and wait’ game. Keep your mind off the stuff you have no control over.”
Standish’s words sank deep. He had a point—hell, he was absolutely right. I needed a distraction to keep from going insane with worry. Angela remained the toughest Marine I knew. If anyone could pull off this mission and get back, it was her.
“There is always the path to growth,” Aspen thought to me.
“That’s a good idea.”
The rock I sat on was large enough for three people, which made it more than enough for my needs. I pulled my legs up and crossed them while setting my hands on my knees. Then I closed my eyes and went deep inside.
Getting my energy to flow into Aspen and around her had become second nature. So it was no surprise when the sphere formed, although I still felt agitated. My feelings affected it, though. The energy going into Aspen shot out at random intervals with varying intensity. I felt a jolt of pain from her when the energy levels were higher than normal.
“I’m sorry,” I said after a particularly nasty one.
My inner world vanished, and I now walked the streets of Aspen’s memory. “Maybe this will help,” she said as she appeared next to me. “I’m worried as well. Angela and Reggie are as dear to me as they are to you. How could they not be when I am privy to your innermost desires and feelings? Yet I remain calm. It is something you must do as well, Ray.”
I closed my eyes as we walked and let the remembered sun’s warmth bathe my face. Her memory carried a soothing aspect I couldn’t quite comprehend. But I knew how it felt and enjoyed it, so I went with it. “I know you’re right, Aspen, but it’s not as easy as you make it out to be.”
“In that, we agree. That doesn’t change the duty you have to yourself, Angela, and those who follow you. If not for you, then do it for them. Leadership is as much a burden as it can be a pleasurable experience.”
“You sound like you’ve had some experience leading.”
“I was the head of a flock for a time. It was my responsibility to see we had enough food, and the young and old were cared for. It was a great experience that did a lot to prepare me for the bonding. As their leader, I had the first right to choose when my flock was called upon. I immediately developed a rapport with the one who approached us and chose the bond. But that part is not relevant to the point I make here. You must be the steadfast rock all those under you can lean upon.”
“I understand,” I replied. As grateful as I was for her counsel, I found it hard to accept. Most of it was easy to consider and probably act upon. It was the part about sitting on my hands while Angela was out that really bothered me. Yes, I was responsible for the lives of my Marines, and I accepted that. But wasn’t Angela one of them as well? Did our relationship mean I was supposed to feel less responsible for her when every instinct screamed to place her above all others?
“I wanted to be strong like the augs,” I said. “And in a lot of ways, I am. In some ways, I’m more than they could be. That’s more than a little badass. But I don’t think I expected to be in charge of them. This whole thing about me leading these battle-hardened and well-trained Marines seems so ridiculous.”
“I’ve seen in your memories where you watched entertainment videos that speak of great power equaling great responsibility, as well as greatness being thrust upon a person and their actions thereafter determining if they are great. As such, there is no need to say such things. But I do have a question for you, Ray. If not you, then who?”
I stopped walking and turned to look at her. She met my gaze with her many eyes. “If not me….” the words slowly penetrated as they bounced around in my mind. “Then who?” Then my eyes went wide. “You’re right. Damn, you’re so right.” I grabbed her head and planted a kiss on her fleshy beak. “Thanks for that.”
“What did I say?” Her eyes all went wide as she picked up on my thoughts. “No, Ray. That isn’t what I…”
I left her memory and our inner space. As I awoke from the meditative state, I stood. “I have to go.”
&nbs
p; I didn’t give the gathered leaders time to ask where or why. My wings manifested, and I was airborne. I traveled straight up with Aspen telling me my plan was foolish and to head back. I didn’t. Her words made me realize that there was something I could do. Something her abilities made me uniquely qualified for, so it was my responsibility to do it. The added benefit was being there for Angela, but that benefit extended to the rest of the recon team. So win, win.
“Very well,” Aspen relented. “Since I can’t talk you out of this, I will caution you to be careful.”
“I will,” I thought back. “Will you help me? Lend me your instincts and guidance?”
“Always. Because I don’t agree with your plan doesn’t mean I won’t be here to support you. I would be a hypocrite if I gave flowery speeches about being a leader and responsibility, then backed off when you made a decision I didn’t agree with. The decision is yours to make, so I follow.”
“Thanks, Aspen. I couldn’t do this without you.”
“No,” she replied with a touch of a laugh in her voice. “You literally couldn’t.”
The green glow of Aspen’s manifestations surrounded my head. I used her many keen eyes to spot the camp from far above it. Finding my Marines only took a second. Well, most of them. Kopf and Pruise were nowhere in sight. I briefly wondered if they had gone invisible to go make out somewhere, but that thought died faster than it formed. Jokester that Kopf was, he’d proved his worth more times than I cared to count.
From my elevation, most things on the ground were only dots. I distinguished between friend and foe mostly based on color and location. The machines reflected a lot of sunlight, where my team was dark-colored spots.
I spotted something worth addressing and tapped into the recon team’s comms. “Guys, you have arrived at your three o’clock.”
“Copy that,” a new voice said.
“Ray?” Angela said over our private channel. “Why are you here? You know we have this well in hand.”
“I don’t doubt that. I’m here to do the thing no one else can and provide air support. I’m not here to doubt you or the rest of the team, I swear. I thought eyes in the sky might be a big help.”