by M. Sembera
“I wasn’t saying that.”
“What are you saying then?”
I had no idea what I was trying to say but I was wondering why I thought it was a good idea to talk to my mom about any of this.
“Why are you mad at me when she’s the one who decided to leave?”
Letting out a light sigh, she placed her hand on my shoulder and shared, “I’m not choosing between the two of you, that’s not what this is. I’m just as upset with her.”
“Are you giving her the silent treatment too?”
Popping up off the couch my mom stood there looking down at me.
“You didn’t call me crying.”
With guilt jabbing at my conscience, I sarcastically snapped, “Is that what I need to do for you to listen to me?”
“No, but I would be shocked if you had something to actually say.”
“What does that mean?”
Sitting down on the coffee table in front of me, she imparted, “First, I love you, more than you’ll ever know but the truth is, Tansy needs a strong man. Not because she’s weak because she needs certainty. It doesn’t matter how much you love her or how long she’s been in love with you. That’s what she needs.”
“I can give that to her.”
Raising her eyebrows, she looked me dead in the face and questioned, “Then why didn’t you?”
I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out.
“You know, it’s easy to say you are something when you don’t know the real meaning of it.”
After a compassionate smile, that just twisted the knife deeper, she kissed the top of my head and walked to her room.
Chapter Eighteen
There’s nothing like having your mom tell you you’ve fallen short of being a man. I’m not going to lie, that cut me deep. She wasn’t wrong though. As I thought back over everything that happened, I’d been sitting on the fence since I was fifteen, possibly longer, waiting to see which side Tansy was going to choose. I had spent the majority of my time comparing what we had to everyone I’d ever know and trying to get them to tell me what to do. It was time I started acting like the man I wanted to be. Time I hopped down off that fence. The only problem was, I needed the address of the side I chose.
Walking into the corner store, I saw Joie standing behind the counter. She was wearing an orange and red smock over a white t-shirt and her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail. She looked tired.
Joie wrinkled her nose up as she smiled, greeting, “Whether you’re stopping in for coffee, soda, or beer we’re always here at Twenty-Four-Sevens.”
“Do you have to say that every time someone comes in?” I questioned as I walked up to the counter.
“It’s a new thing they started.”
“It’s kind of catchy, I guess.”
With a slight laugh, she assured, “It’s really lame. I hate this job.”
“Why don’t you get a different one then?”
“Because,” she drew out before sharing, “This is my fifth job in six months, I don’t have any skills unless you count my awesome drumming abilities and I’m saving up for a car so I can take cosmetology classes next year.”
“Your dad can’t help you out with that?”
“He doesn’t make very good money anymore, not since he got demoted for drinking on the job last year, plus my mom takes a lot of vacations and that gets expensive.”
She wasn’t complaining, just stating the facts and didn’t seem all to bothered by her situation.
“You’re a pretty amazing girl, you know that?” I felt compelled to tell her.
“Okay,” she replied with a confused expression before asking, “Did you stop by for something or…”
Reminded of my original reason for being there, I replied, “Yea, you don’t happen to have Tansy’s address do you?”
After staring at me for a moment, she answered, “Um… I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so?” I questioned, thinking that was a weird way to answer.
“I mean no. No, I don’t have it.”
“Does my sister have it?”
“Um… Maybe you should call Tansy and ask for it.”
“I tried calling her but it goes straight to voicemail every time.”
Joie shrugged her shoulders at me then walked from behind the counter and began restocking the candy aisle.
Not that I thought finding out where Tansy was would be easy, I did think if anyone would have made it easy, it would have been Joie. Guess I underestimated that whole solidarity thing. Wren was my only other option. It was either that or ask my mom and I don’t think I could have taken another speech about how I wasn’t man enough.
Wren’s room was pitch black when I slowly open the door. My plan was to wake her up and catch her off guard. Maybe, if she was half asleep she would give up the info without an argument.
I barely had time to reach for the light switch when I heard, “Why are you in my room?”
Initially, I wanted to argue the fact that she barged into my room whenever she felt like it but figured it was best to stay on point.
Flipping the light switch up, I asked, “Were you asleep?”
“No, I just like to lay here in the dark,” she griped, covering her head with a pillow.
Smiling at her sarcasm, and at waking her up because I knew she hated that, I informed, “I just need to get Tansy’s address from you.”
Popping her head out from under her pillow, she sat up, squinted her eyes at me and replied, “What makes you think I have her address?”
“Do you?”
“We’re not pen-pals. If I want to talk to her I’ll text her, now get out,” she snapped, throwing one of the smaller pillows off her bed at me before laying back down and recovering her head with a blanket.
“Do you know where Aunt Silvia lives?” I tried rephrasing my original question in order to hopefully get an answer.
Flinging the covers off of herself, Wren jumped out of bed and stomped over to me.
“Because we’re best friends and have get-togethers all the time?” she sarcastically questioned before stating, “Hell no, I don’t.”
I guess compassionate Wren only makes an appearance once in a life time because the mean-ass Wren I grew up with shoved me out of her room and slammed the door in my face.
“It’s that damn solidarity thing they’re doin’,” Palmer griped as we sat in my Uncle Braden’s shop watching Uncle Braden and Roe sand down a china cabinet they made.
“What’s the deal with that?”
“Your girl Tansy started it. Mom loaned her some book about women empowering each other. Now, they’ve bonded and shit.”
“That actually explains a lot.”
“Yea? Good. Doesn’t help us out any though.”
Feeling defeated before I got a real start, I complained, “Dad won’t be any help, mom’s still pissed at him for knowing and comparing her to Grandma Sarah.”
“What about your grandparents?” Palmer questioned.
Just as I was about to explain to him that that wasn’t a good idea either, uncle Braden told Roe to take a break.
Roe walked over to where we were sitting.
“What if you…” he stared to say when we heard uncle Braden ask, “Hey, Charlotte, you got a minute?” as he held his cellphone to his ear with one hand, dusted himself off with the other and walked over to a desk in the corner.
I looked at Palmer and then Roe, both of them seemed as stunned as I was.
“Tansy asked me to make her a jewelry box, but she left before it was ready.”
The three of us stared at him waiting to see what was going to happen.
“Yea, I need her address so I can have it delivered to her,” he explained, pulling a pad of paper and a pen out of the desk drawer.
Leaning over the desk, he wrote what I hoped was her address down on the pad of paper.
“Appreciate it.”
Uncle Braden slid his phone into his back pocket a
nd tore the paper off the top of the pad. Without looking in our direction, he walked to the back corner of his shop.
“What the hell just happened?” I questioned in a hushed tone to Palmer.
Before he could give an answer, uncle Braden stepped in front of me and handed me a small wooden jewelry box.
“You can hand deliver it, Tansy’s address is inside.”
I stood up, took the jewelry box from him and then shook his hand. “Thank you.”
In all honesty, I wanted to jump up and hug him.
“Anytime,” he replied with a smile before sharing, “Besides, desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Palmer gave his dad a sideways glance. “That was cool of you an all, but I wouldn’t say we were desperate.”
“Boy, I’m taking about me and your mom. The woman has needs and I need you out of the house for a while so we can do some… bonding of our own.”
With a disgusted expression Palmer shook his head at his dad while Roe and I had a good laugh at his expense.
Chapter Nineteen
Four hours into our six-hour drive, Palmer, Roe and I stopped at a roadside hometown café for lunch. We took the back corner booth under a massive elk head mounted on the wall.
“That thing’s freaky,” Palmer shared as he looked up at the antlers.
“Why did you want to sit here then?”
“Better under it than in the line of sight.”
Shaking my head at him I laughed, “What?”
“I can’t eat with that thing staring at me like I’m chowin’ down on his sister,” he replied just as the waitress walked up.
I cleared my throat, stifling a laugh and looked up at the waitress. She was cute with short blonde hair, blue eyes and perfect dimples to match her wide smile.
“Hi, what can I get y’all?”
I glanced at the one-sided laminated menu that only listed one option.
“I’ll have a chicken fried steak.”
With a nod she asked, “And to drink?”
“Lemonade,” I replied after looking at the beverage section that listed water, beer, tea, and lemonade
“And you sir?”
Palmer ordered chicken fried steak before questioning, “What kind of beer do y’all have?”
“Draft.”
Staring at the waitress with a deep scowl as if he was expecting a list of beers when there was only one dinner item on the menu, the longer he stared at her the wider she smiled.
“I’ll have water,” he finally replied ending their little stand-off.
As soon as she turned to Roe he ordered, “Chicken fried steak.”
“Your drink?”
“Do y’all have sweet tea?”
With a different kind of smile than she had shown me and Palmer, the waitress assured, “Best in town. I make it myself,” and winked at him.
Unfazed, Roe replied, “Sweet tea.”
“My name’s Becky, I’ll be back with your drinks in just a moment.”
It was pretty clear she was talking directly to Roe when she said her name before collecting our menus.
Becky was barely two tables away when Palmer nudged Roe and motioned in her direction.
“She was flirting with you, dumbass.”
Shrugging him off, Roe stated, “Okay.”
“Why don’t you go see about that, she’s cute.”
“No, thanks.”
“Not into girls? It’s cool if you’re not. I mean, I don’t judge First here for getting’ with his cousin. To each his own and all that.”
Reaching over I punched Palmer in the shoulder.
“What? The heart wants what the heart wants is all I’m sayin’.”
Roe shook his head at Palmer like he was being ridiculous.
“I see.” Palmer flashed a smile at Roe. “Who is she?” Roe started smile before Palmer cautioned, “And don’t say Joie, damn it.”
“Alright,” he replied with a smirk.
Looking back and forth between the two of them, I briefly wondered what would happen if Palmer did find out.
“So, you don’t want to give up a name? Is it serious?”
With a discerning expression, Roe answered, “Not serious, it’s steady though.”
“Hell, if y’all aren’t serious…”
“We never talked about it, but she doesn’t. So, I won’t.”
About that time, our waitress Becky brought our drinks.
Not long after our drinks arrived, another waitress assisted Becky in bringing out our food. While one handed each of us a large dinner plate covered with chicken fried steak, gravy and two rolls on the side, the other one set out three bowls of mashed potatoes and three bowls of green beans.
Halfway through his meal, Palmer shared, “Man, I’m gonna need a nap after this.”
Nodding in agreement, I added, “Don’t tell my dad I said this but this is the best chicken fried steak I’ve ever had.”
Meanwhile, Roe had already finished everything else and was working on his green beans.
Laughing with Palmer about maybe taking advantage of his nap idea in the parking lot before taking off, we walked up to the register.
“Well, hello there,” the woman behind the counter greeted.
She appeared to be in her early thirty’s with jet black hair, hot pink lips and definitely eyeing Palmer.
“You boys enjoy your meal?”
“Yes, ma’am,” the three of us replied in unison.
Glancing down at our ticket before ringing us up, she questioned, “No dessert?”
“No thanks.” I couldn’t imagine eating another bite of anything.
Arching an eyebrow at Palmer, she offered, “Not even a little something for the road?”
Pulling out his wallet, Palmer tilted his head to the side, “I don’t recall seein’ dessert on the menu.”
“It’s not on the menu, honey,” she shared, blatantly running her tongue between her lips.
A knowing smile flashed across Palmer’s face as he looked her up and down.
“It does look sweet but a… my man First here’s on a mission.”
“Suit yourself,” she fluffed with a hint of irritation as Palmer paid for our meal and gave her extra twenty for our waitress.
A mile down the road, I noticed Roe appeared as though something was bothering him.
I glanced in the rear view mirror and asked, “You alright back there?”
“I think I’m in shock.”
Palmer turned his head towards the back seat, teasing, “Bet you are, I can’t believe you cleaned your plate and finished ours. How does Aunt Penny afford to feed you?”
“She was hot.”
“Who? The chic at the restaurant? Did you like her? I probably could have hooked you up.”
Roe genuinely looked confused as he shook his head. “I’ve never seen you turn a girl down before.”
From the corner of my eye I watched Palmer face forward and lean his head back against the headrest as he rubbed his hands up and down the sides of his beard.
“This shit with Joie’s got me all jacked up, ya know.”
“No, I don’t know,” Roe stated.
“I want her but I don’t.”
Trying to keep an eye on the road while looking back and forth between the rearview mirror at Roe and the passenger at Palmer, I was curious as to how far Roe was going to let this conversation go. It seemed insane to me that it was taking place at all.
“Why don’t you?”
Running his hand through the top of his hair, Palmer pulled his sunglasses out of his front pocket and slid them on, sharing, “I’m kind of an asshole and she’s kinda perfect, ya know. Full of everything and rare.”
Roe seemed conflicted as he stared at Palmer then glanced out the side window before changing the subject.
“First, have you thought about what you’re going to say to Tansy when we get there?”
His question caught me off guard as I responded, “Here’s your jewelry
box?”
“Smooth, bet she’ll hop right in the car with us,” Palmer laughed.
“By the way, thanks for this, seriously.”
With a quick nod, Palmer admitted, “Ya know, the girls might be onto somethin’ with the whole bonding thing.”
Chapter Twenty
Parked against the curb, the three of us sat in the car staring at the house across the street. It was a modern looking, for the neighborhood, two story with a long walkway that led from the street to the door.
“You gonna get out and go to the door?” Palmer glanced over at me and asked.
Roe kneed the back of his seat. “Give him a minute.”
“We’ve been sittin’ here for over thirty minutes. Someone’s gonna think we’re casein’ the place and call the law.”
I took a deep breath, nodded as Roe handed me her jewelry box from the back seat and then got out of the car.
“Go on, go clear the air with her so you can feel like a man. Then when we get home, I’ll give you some ink so you can look like one too.”
Palmer’s extra nudge made me laugh and set me on my way.
Calmer than I thought I would be, I kept an even pace all the way to the door. I stared at the door for a minute, thinking maybe I’d already said all there was between us. She may have been right to leave me. I was going to leave her, no matter how the summer ended. Reasons why I shouldn’t have come trickled through my mind as I knocked on the door. As soon as the door opened, and I saw her, all my reasons for being here flooded back in.
Tansy tucked her hair behind her ears as she cautiously stepped out of the doorway.
“What are you doing here?”
I wanted to drop her jewelry box, pull her into my arms and kiss her.
Instead, I held the wooden jewelry box Uncle Braden made for her out to her and replied, “Here’s your jewelry box.”
Smooth, just like Palmer said, I mentally chastised myself.
Narrowing her hazel eye at me, she questioned, “You drove all this way to bring it to me?”
“No,” I blurted before blowing out a slow breath to keep myself in check. “I came to tell you that I’m sorry.”