I hand it to him and turn my back obligingly, an excited shiver going down my spine. A man is putting my coat on me!
To my horror, I hear a rip, and then a muffled curse in Russian. I turn around to see that Nick's large foot is standing on one of the sleeves of my threadbare jacket, and it has ripped it entirely away.
"Oh no." I take the jacket from his hands and clutch it to my chest. I should be horrified that I've had another piece of clothing destroyed, but all I can think is that this might make us late for our date, and right now, the date is so much more important than my stupid jacket.
"I am mudak," Nick says in a flat voice. "Leave your coat. I will buy you a new one."
"That's not necessary," I say quickly. "It's not that cold out."
He grunts agreement, and then he crooks his elbow at me. "Shall we go, Daisy?"
I slide my hand against his arm and let him lead the way. We step down to the curb and toward what must be his car—no motorcycle today. It's a dark gray. Non-descript, with tinted windows. A sedan.
"Wait here," he tells me as I stand on the curb.
I shiver as I do. My dress isn't warm at all, and my back is almost entirely exposed. I will need to buy a jacket with my first paycheck, I decide. Maybe they will have something in my size at the thrift store…
My thoughts trail off as Nick pops open the trunk of the sedan and pulls out a large box. He hefts a leather jacket—a women's leather jacket—into his hands and then holds it open for me. "Here. Come put this on."
I approach him, eyeing the jacket. It's one I admired in the store the other day. He had this one already waiting for me? "Nick! Did you tear my other jacket on purpose?"
"Of course not," he says in a tone that indicates he is a terrible liar. There is a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "I am mudak, yes?"
"You are sneaky," I tell him, but I let him put the coat on me. It's cold thanks to the wind, but it's heavy. As soon as it warms against my skin, it will be perfect. "And thoughtful. Thank you, Nick. You must let me pay you back."
"Nyet."
"Nick," I say protestingly. "You can't keep ruining my stuff and then replacing it."
He cocks his head to the side. "I do not admit to this, but if it would happen that I accidentally mar something of yours, should I not replace it?"
"It's just…too extravagant and wrong." I struggle to explain my feelings of indebtedness to him.
"The wrong is from me, Daisy. You must allow me to right my wrongs, or I do not deserve to be with you."
I know that there is something odd about this statement but I can't figure it out right now.
He opens the front passenger door for me.
I sigh and get into the car. We will argue about this later. I slide in to the passenger seat and then look around as he heads to the other side of the car. The interior is stark, no signs of the car being used at all. It could be a rental for all I know. I want to open the glove box and see if there is anything in there, but that feels nosy.
He gets behind the wheel and I buckle in, and then we are off to the theater.
We're quiet on the drive there. I feel like I should say charming, pleasant things to break the ice, but I can think of nothing. My mind is a giddy blank. So I twist my fingers in my lap and hope he's not disappointed in my lack of chattiness.
He glances over at me. "Are you tired?"
"Tired?" I touch my cheek. Do I look tired to him? Washed out? How embarrassing.
"You work late."
I tilt my head at him, curious. "How did you know?"
"You told me you worked until two in the morning."
"Oh."
He stares out the windshield, not looking over at me. A moment later, he admits, "Also, I was worried about you. I drove past after we spoke to check on you."
"I was fine," I tell him. "One of the other employees lives down the street, and he said I could call him if anything happened. Plus, they have a Taser and cameras and a baseball bat behind the counter. Lots of things to keep me safe."
Nick's mouth tightens. "This does not make me feel better."
Chagrined, I go silent and burrow a little deeper into my coat. The newness of it is delicious, as is the heavy, decadent scent of leather that permeates it. "It's a job. I'm fine." I won't quit, either. It's not stubbornness that makes me keep the job. I need the money. I need to be able to support myself if I'm going to stay here in this new life, and I will continue to pass out resumes in the hopes of a better job. But if I can't find something else, at least this way I will have some money.
"I do not like this," he tells me.
"I didn't ask you if you liked it," I retort.
He goes silent.
I say nothing else. He's frowning fiercely as we pull into the parking lot. I feel as if I've messed things up already, and we haven't even gotten to the date destination yet.
It is worse than silent when he stops the car. He pauses for a moment, as if contemplating something, and I wonder if he's changed his mind about dating me. I'm almost in tears at this point. The only talking we've done is to argue.
I feel so stupid. I've ruined our date already. Poor, stupid little sheltered Daisy goes on a date with a man and immediately argues with him about money. Maybe we should call this off. Maybe he doesn't know how messed up I am inside. That underneath my calm exterior, I'm a terrified mess who's tasting her first days of freedom and doesn't know how to be a normal girl. He probably wants a normal girl.
I can't be her. I wish I could, but I don't know how.
He gets out of the car and I suck in a deep breath, shoring up my courage. Time to be Bold Daisy and take charge of the situation. Nick opens the door for me, and I get out.
And then I pause there and wait by the car.
He offers me his elbow, but I shake my head at him. His gray eyes grow cold and bleak, his expression shuttered as if I have rejected him.
It's now or never. "Can I ask you something?" My words are all breathless, my voice small.
"What is it?" His accent is thicker. It almost sounds like "vat." I wonder if his accent gets thicker when he's upset. He looks upset, as if I've betrayed him.
"Are you sure you want to date me?"
His brows furrow. "Why do you ask me this?"
I wring my hands, unable to help myself. "You don't approve of me. Of what I do. You keep buying me things because it's clear what I'm wearing is not good enough for you. You seem like you're angry, and...I don't know how to deal with that." I try to smile to fix my words, but I'm ready to cry. I wanted this date—and him—so badly. "I'm not the most normal girl, Nick."
For some reason, this makes his mouth quirk in a half smile. "Why do you tell me this, Daisy?"
"I just don't want you to be disappointed." My gaze drops to his mouth and I stare at it. "In me."
His hand clasps mine and he lifts it to his mouth again, brushing my knuckles over his lips. No kiss, just touching my skin to his mouth. "Why would you think I am disappointed in you?"
"You want me to quit my job, and I'm not going to quit it. You keep buying me new clothes."
He sighs, but he doesn't let go of my hand. Just keeps rubbing my knuckles against his mouth. "I buy you clothes because it pleases me to see you wear things that suit you. You deserve the finest things, Daisy. It is only proper that I wish to give them to you."
It's not proper at all, I want to say, but I am entranced by his sweet words and the brush of his lips on my skin.
"I do want you to quit," he continues. "Because I worry for you. But if it is important to you, you stay there, da? I will just watch out for you." His expression cools. "Or do you not wish to date me now?"
"I want to more than anything," I blurt, and then wince at my own voice, at how eager I sound. "It's just that...I'm nervous."
I've never kissed anyone, and I'm scared I'll do it wrong and then you won't want to see me anymore. I think for a moment, and then decide that I should reach out and kiss him. If we wait until the en
d of the date, he might not want to kiss me, and I want that first kiss more than anything I can think of.
"Why are you nervous?" His lips move against my skin, and I feel the soft whisper of them all the way down into my panties. It's like he's touching me everywhere. My nipples are hard through the filmy fabric of the dress, and I am not wearing a bra.
"Are you going to kiss me on this date?" I ask.
He looks surprised at my words. "Do you wish for me to kiss you?"
"Yes," I say firmly.
"Then, da, I will kiss you." His face relaxes.
"Let's kiss now," I tell him.
He moves forward toward me, and I am pinned between him and the car. He leans in, and his gloved hand touches my cheek. It's all I can do to keep from trembling at the caress, but I am held by those gray eyes—and the hint of possessiveness I see there. He's concentrating on me so hard, as if he's determined to get this right.
I part my lips and tilt my face towards him. I've stopped breathing. I want Nick's kiss so badly.
He moves closer. His mouth grazes over mine in just the barest brushing of lips. It sends a ticklish flutter through me, and I make a small noise in my throat. My lips part a bit more. Is that all I'm going to get? Just a tease of a kiss?
I decide that's not enough. So I lean forward a bit more and as he pulls back, I try to kiss him more. I end up pressing my mouth to his lower lip, and I'm not sure who is more startled—Nick that I've tried to kiss him, or me that I've messed it up like an idiot.
His eyes widen.
I fumble backward, humiliated. "I'm sorry. I—"
His hands move to cup my face and then he's tilting my mouth toward his all over again. This time, the kiss is not a soft, gentle graze. This time, his mouth presses against mine firmly, and his lips part over mine. Mine part as well, following his lead, and his tongue slicks into my mouth, tasting me.
It is divine.
I whimper, and he makes a soft noise in his throat that might be a groan. His tongue strokes into my mouth again, flooding my body with heat, and I want to do more than just receive. I want to reciprocate. Is that wrong? So I hesitantly touch my tongue to his and wait for a reaction.
Nick tears away from my mouth, breathing hard. He presses his forehead to mine and mumbles something in Russian. But he doesn't seem displeased. Instead, it seems as if he's trying to control himself.
I feel oddly…proud. I'm flushed with desire and my skin feels sensitive, but I want more. Does he? "Thank you," I murmur. And I wait. The kiss is over. Does he seem pleased?
He presses a kiss to my forehead and looks at me, and his gloved fingers curve my jaw as if tracing it. "I will kiss you, Daisy. I will kiss you all night. I will do more than kiss you if you wish. Simply say the word."
I suck in a breath. My pulse has centered between my legs and throbs there. I'm not brave enough to say the word. Not just yet.
But oh God, I want to.
Chapter Six
NIKOLAI
DAISY LOOKS LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL with her high-necked dress and the shoes with the straps across the top of her foot. But the heels on the shoes and the sheer lacy back that makes me swallow back a gasp are anything but childish. A whisper of something naughty and darker lurks here. Perhaps it is my own wishful thinking, but I can't help but wonder what Daisy has experienced before me. Yes, she is innocent in some things but her eyes hold knowledge of something more. I want to know all of it.
Part of me wants to cover her body entirely, to protect her, but another part can barely control the urge to rip off her clothes knowing she must not be wearing anything underneath. These are not items that I have bought for her, but perhaps she is wearing my panties. I think of them as mine even though I know I shouldn't.
Everything with Daisy is doing something I know I should not. Every detail out of my mouth is a lie, and not even a good one, because a hitman needs no cover. We are in and out, seen only when we make the kill and sometimes not even then.
I do not know for how long Daisy will tolerate me; how long until she starts piecing together all the false threads of the story I've given her. I must speak less, for that is the only way to eliminate errors.
"What movie?" I ask sharply. I immediately regret the tone of my voice when she looks wounded. I try again and give her a small twitch of my lips, which I hope she understands to be a smile. "I mean, what movie would you like to see? You pick. I always pick wrong."
She peers up at the digital display that lists the movies currently playing. Her neck is lovely, and she has pink, glossy lips. The lights of the theater are reflecting off of the gloss and the temptation to slide my tongue across their plumpness weakens my knees. I lick my lower lip to see if I can taste her but the fleetness of our connection leaves almost no trace. "I guess it's between the superhero movie and the horror. I guess superheroes?"
"Da, good choice." I'm not really listening to her. I just enjoy watching her lips part and her cheek muscles round when she smiles. She smiles often. My fingers itch to caress her, but she's not said I can kiss her again.
I almost suffer untold indignities due to my inattention when Daisy begins to pay for the tickets. My hand slams down beside hers on the counter. Both the ticket boy and Daisy jump.
"I am sorry, but you cannot pay, Daisy." I pull the money out of the ticket counter's hand. It is slack with shock. I fold the worn bills and press them back into Daisy's hands.
"But I haven't paid for anything yet. I can buy a ticket." Daisy protests.
What kind of man does she think I am? Or perhaps she does not even think I am a man. "Nyet." I pull out my wallet and shove money at the counter clerk. "Two," I bark. When the ticket boy does not move, I lean forward and bare my teeth. "Two. Now."
He quickly obeys, and I grab the tickets and drag Daisy behind me.
"I could've paid," she is saying. "I have money. You can't pay for everything."
I do not even answer that. It is full of ridiculousness.
"What do you want to eat?" I wave my hand over the candy, ice cream, popcorn, and soda. There is a virtual restaurant inside this theatre.
Daisy folds her arms across her chest and looks mutinous. "Nothing," she says, "Since you probably won't let me pay for that, either."
"Then I will buy one of everything," I threaten. I do not even know why we are arguing about this. Whores never argue with me. No one argues with me. They do things because I pay them to do things or they do things because they are afraid. I have no experience with girls like Daisy: honest, sweet, delicious Daisy.
Her face has closed down, and there is a distance between us now. She has gone somewhere else and that, more than her anger and more than her frustration, worries me. With her I am always fucking things up.
"I am sorry," I say. "I've offended you again. Please tell me what I should do."
My plea softens her, and she lays a small hand on my arm. "Nick, you can't pay for everything. I don't want—" she pauses, as if struggling to say the words, and then she continues. "I can't be dependent on someone. Not again. It's not fair to you. We barely know each other."
I try to understand her, but her words make no sense to me, and worse, they make me afraid. I cannot let her get to know me. I can only put up a façade that she might like until it crumples.
The image of a British flesh peddler springs to mind. I eliminated him two years ago for ruining merchandise he was supposed to be preparing for high-end buyers. He'd developed a taste for his own stable but had never revealed to anyone that he carried syphilis. Buyers do not like receiving diseased product. But Harry Winslow III had a certain light that drew people, particularly women, to him. It was part of what made him such a good pimp. Even though I did not like Harry, I realize that I could use some of his charm now. I swallow my bile at pretending to be a disease-carrying pimp and try out a bit of Harry on her.
"Duckie." Harry was always calling someone 'duckie.' "It's quite all right. I've got plenty of blunt to cover this." Harry's women always
seem pleased at his big roll of cash. It made up for his very small penis. I'm fairly proud of my effort and smile at Daisy, but instead of softening, she looks confused.
"What's a duckie? Is that a Ukrainian word for something?" Daisy asks. "And blunt? What's a blunt?"
I tilt my head back and close my eyes. This is all a disaster. "How about popcorn?"
I order it before she can protest.
"Want butter?" the clerk asks me. I shake my head no. Butter is bad.
"No butter. No salt." I nod at the clerk. Daisy starts to say something, but when I turn to her with a raised eyebrow, she just sighs and turns away. Perhaps she does not like popcorn.
Inside the theater, we sit and say nothing as first the previews run and then the movie. As the characters are separated into clear divisions of good and evil, I look at Daisy. She is rapt. She is so engrossed by the action that she has forgotten I am next to her.
The movie is pissing me off. I hate it. The crowd inside is almost hissing at the bad guys who want nothing more than the power to live free. Perhaps their methods are not as messy as the "good guys," but life is not so clearly black and white. This time it is my arms that are crossed and my attitude that is bad. I do not point out that the velocity of the bullets does not work that way or that the guns used are all wrong. A semi-automatic rifle would never be used by a real professional. Only bolt action. Something tells me that Daisy would not care.
When the movie is over and the lights come on, Daisy turns to me with wide-eyed amazement and a smile on her face, and I feign appreciation for the movie.
"Wasn't that great?" she asks.
"Yes. Great." I stand up and shove my way down the crowd and out into the night air.
"You seem like you didn't like it." Daisy tilts her head and examines me, like how I will respond to her question will determine whether I get to see her again.
I debate lying to her again, but she is already suspicious. I've told so many half -truths and mistruths to her, so just this once I think that maybe truth is not damaging. "I did not like the ending."
"Really?" Daisy looks surprised. Obviously, I should've lied. "It's the only way it could have ended. Good prevailing over evil, you know?"
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