by Claire Adams
I pulled the truck into the parking lot next to the park and put it in neutral, still trying to decide if approaching them was the right thing to do or not. He was my son, so how could I pass by without even stopping to see him? I put the truck in park and turned it off, grabbing my jacket and stepping out into the parking lot. Neither one of them had noticed me yet, but as I grew closer to Jake, I realized this was the perfect opportunity to see him, hug him, and love him without Sarah standing between the two of us, no matter what Quinn did or didn’t believe. Sarah’s wild lies about me seemed so over the top, it was plausible that Quinn could see through them. Either way, I hoped she wouldn’t call and report back to my ex. As I entered the park they moved over to the nearby swings, and to my surprise, Quinn hopped on a swing, while Jake stood by, still looking concerned.
Chapter Eight
Quinn
“So, this is the deal,” I said, looking at Jake’s worried expression. “You are simply going to sit down on the seat, grab onto the chains, and I’ll give you a push. It is that simple. Then, once you are comfortable, you can start pumping your legs.”
“Pumping my legs? That sounds scary,” Jake said, with a horrified look.
“No,” I laughed. “It’s just you folding and unfolding your legs which gives you momentum to go faster and higher. Basically, by doing that, you are able to control how fast and how high you go without anyone having to push you.”
I was desperately trying to convince Jake to try and use the big boy swing. He was getting way too big for the swing with the built-in harness, and I didn’t want him to lose interest in the playground just because of that. The swings were his favorite thing, and frankly, I was pretty shocked that his mother hadn’t shown him the big kid swings a year ago. Either way, it was the perfect time to show him the regular ones so that he could start feeling more comfortable playing without someone right next to him the whole time. All in all, he was a pretty independent kid, but there was something that was holding him back, and I had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with his father. I reached out my hand and walked with him over to the swing set. He stared at it for several seconds and then back at me.
“I’m scared,” he said. “I don’t want to do it. I’ll just play on the slides.”
“Do you know what I noticed about you the first time I met you?” I bent down to his level and straightened his coat.
“What?”
“That you were pretty much the bravest person I ever met,” I said. “Even braver than me, or your mom.”
“Even braver than my dad?”
“Well, I don’t know your dad, but I can’t imagine anyone braver than you,” I said. “Like you are like police officer brave. No, even more than that. You are like jump out of a plane, climb Mount Everest, bungee jumping brave.”
“What’s Mound Everett?”
“It’s a really big mountain,” I said, laughing at his pronunciation. “Never mind, the point is, I know that you can do this.”
I walked over to the swing set and took a deep breath, realizing it had been a very long time since I’d been on anything that had to do with a jungle gym. At least I wasn’t showing him how to hang upside down on the monkey bars—that would be a sight to see. I sat on the seat and quickly grabbed the chains on either side of me.
“So, you sit like this,” I explained, patiently. “You grab onto these chains, then push off.”
I pushed back and released my legs, pulling them in front of me and swinging into the air. Jake watched me with wide eyes as I forced a laugh and a smile to show him just how much fun he could have. I pumped my legs over and over, smiling at Jake, who watched me go up and down. I leaned my head back as I swung backward, catching sight of Luke, who was walking across the grass towards us. Well shit, what was I supposed to do with that?
Immediately I put my legs down, running my feet through the gravel and slowing myself to a stop. As I was trying to get my feet on the ground and the swing to come to a complete halt, Luke circled around the swing set and crept up behind Jake. He tapped Jake on the shoulder and smiled big as he turned around and squealed, jumping right into his arms. Luke stood up and spun Jake around in a circle over and over again until he was giggling so hard that it made everyone laugh. I had never heard him make that kind of sound before, even when I had him pinned down and tickled him until he begged me to stop. Jake’s laughter echoed across the lawn, and I stood there with my arms crossed, laughing at how much fun he was having and how he responded to his father’s touch. It warmed my heart to watch him so happy, especially after the exchange between his parents he had witnessed only a couple days before.
I still couldn’t figure out why Sarah was so hostile toward Luke. I mean, I had been through a divorce, I knew how nasty it could get. But even now, if I saw Brian, I wouldn’t treat him the way she treated Luke. Brian had left me all alone after our child died, but I would still find a way to be cordial to him. On top of that, I couldn’t imagine keeping a child from his own father. That just seemed destined to hurt Jake more than either one of them. From the outside, Luke seemed like a fantastic father, the kind of father I had hoped Brian would have been to our son. It was more than obvious that Jake missed him terribly and that was completely heartbreaking to me.
When he stopped spinning, he set Jake down on the ground and ruffled his hair. They both bore huge smiles and were still laughing. He looked up at me, and I froze as a strange bolt of electricity ran through my chest as our eyes met. He directed that charming smile at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back, feeling at ease with him there with us. He stood up and took Jake’s hand, looking back over at me.
“Can we take a walk through the park? I mean all of us,” he said.
“Sure,” I replied, seeing no harm in it.
As we walked, Luke started to ask me questions again, only this time they weren’t about Sarah; they were about me. I cleared my throat, trying to hide the fact that it was a little uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to talking about myself, as most people asked questions about my experience but then gave me pointed advice about how I would handle certain situations. Immediately, my palms started to sweat, but I looked down at Jake, and he smiled back at me, calming my nerves a bit. I looked over my shoulder, nervous that Sarah might pass by and see us together, but I knew she was likely too absorbed in her shopping to pay any attention to what we were doing out at the park. In fact, she didn’t even know we were there, having told me to take him out of the house to get some air, but not inquiring about where we would go when I agreed.
The more I paid attention to Sarah, the less of a truly doting and wonderful mom she appeared to be. When I first accepted the job, she seemed like a single mother who just needed some help. However, time had passed, plus Luke and Sarah’s fight had opened my eyes a bit. I started to realize I was there so she could get away. With as much as she was working me, I couldn’t even think of a time of more than a few hours that she had to spend with Jake alone, unless he was asleep. Before I could think any more about it, Luke interrupted my thoughts with a question.
“So, Quinn, tell me, how long have you been a nanny or sitter?”
“Well, I’ve been babysitting since I was about sixteen,” I explained. “But I didn’t really turn it into a career until about two years ago. It was a slow start with just some odd jobs here and there, but then I started to get longer-term commitments. The summertime is usually really busy for me, and I try to have one long-term client like Jake’s mom, so I don’t have to run all over the place trying to care for more than one family at a time. Last summer was way too hectic with two families. I almost needed to clone myself to keep up with everything.”
“Do you have a family of your own?”
“Um, no,” I said, the question catching me off guard. “I am single with no children.”
The answer was biting, and it sent pain to that hollow part of my chest that had been there since my son died. I didn’t want to bring up that whole story, especially no
t in front of Jake, so I went for the simpler answer, which was no. I figured that if he really wanted to dig further in the future, then I would explain, but I barely could talk about it to family without getting teary-eyed. The last thing I wanted was for me to get upset and make this situation even more uncomfortable than it already was. Besides, the details didn’t really matter all that much; it didn’t affect my job in any way, except making me all the more warm and careful with Jake, which was the whole point of my position.
As we walked along, I answered all of his questions, keeping my answers as professional as possible. I gripped onto Jake’s arm tightly as Luke and I swung him between us, trying to keep him occupied as Luke grilled me further. I answered him haltingly at first, but his charming smile and kind voice made me more and more comfortable as we talked. It felt kind of like an interview, but after several minutes, and a lot of charm, we started talking as if we were just two friends catching up. It felt natural, which was strange for me since the only man I had conversations with was Steve next door, and those usually centered around the weather or the local baseball league. I had to admit to myself that it actually felt nice talking to a man about life for once, something I had missed doing since Brian left.
“Do you like what you do?”
“I do,” I gushed. “Jake is probably my favorite so far.”
“You have to say that,” he laughed.
“No, I mean it,” I replied. “He lights up my day every time I see him.”
“How about you, buddy,” Luke said, looking down at Jake. “Do you like Miss Quinn watching you?”
“Oh, yeah,” he giggled. “She is so much fun. Sometimes we write stories together, and sometimes we put on plays in my room. Last week we were pirates and the next day she came in with a whole pirate costume, and one for me too!”
“Wow,” he laughed, looking up at me. “I’d like to see pictures of that.”
“No media allowed,” I said, smiling. “It was a private show.”
“Did you put on the play for your mom?”
“No, she didn’t come home until I was in bed,” he said, with a tinge of sadness in his voice.
I looked over at Luke and could tell that Jake’s answer upset him, but he took a deep breath and continued with his questions. The situation wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward anymore, but I did find it odd that he wanted to know so much about me. At one point I thought he was going to ask me about my dating life, but he skipped over to something else, forcing a breath out of my lungs. It was like an interview mixed with an online dating profile. It was very strange. Still, I answered the questions figuring he was curious about who I was. A concerned father had the right to know about the woman watching his child, right? The fact that he cared enough to worry about it was enough for me.
When we were done, we talked to Jake about not telling his mom that he saw Luke, and he wholeheartedly agreed, already knowing the situation between his mom and dad was volatile. As I watched Luke hug Jake tightly, I forced the smile off my face, but not out of my heart. There was something intriguing about this man, and I wanted to know more.
Chapter Nine
Luke
I was going to leave after the walk, but I knew I had some more time since Sarah was a very avid shopper. I asked Quinn if she minded if I stuck around a bit longer and she didn’t seem to have an issue with it at all. I liked this girl, and I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that drew me to her, but I knew it was there. She really cared about Jake, and that was really heartwarming.
“Actually, I was just showing Mr. Brave Jake here how awesome it was to swing on the big kid swings,” she said. “Maybe you could help him get comfortable with it.”
“I can do that,” I said, picking up Jake and setting him down on the swing.
Immediately, you could see Jake freeze; his hands squeezed tightly around the chains. I couldn’t believe he was six and still hadn’t been on a big boy swing. I didn’t even know how he could still fit in the harnessed ones. His mother was obviously not taking him out to the playground very often. I picked him up and sat myself down on the swing, putting my arms around him and moving back forth, getting just a little higher with every push. Finally, he started to smile, showing me that he felt comfortable with the movements. I slowed the swing to a stop and stood up, setting him on the ground. He looked at me, at Quinn, and then back at the swing as if contemplating his next move. Slowly, he walked over to the swing and pulled himself up to a seated position. Once he was comfortable, he looked at me and smiled. I walked over and gave him a slight push, getting the swing in motion and then standing back and watching as his little legs pushed and pulled, a huge smile spreading across his face.
I walked over and stood next to Quinn, crossing my arms and watching as he began to go higher and higher. With every down motion, he giggled with happiness, and my heart was instantly full again. I didn’t know how I was going to walk away from him, feeling the love between us growing more and more. I loved my son so very much, and I realized that I would do anything to get him back in my arms, even if it meant finding a woman to be my wife and a mother to him as well. I couldn’t continue to watch him miss out on things because his mother refused to be what he needed.
I walked over to the bench and sat down, spreading my arms across the back of the iron seat. I smiled as Jake flew up and down through the air, his ruffled hair blowing wildly in the wind. Quinn stood just feet away from him, encouraging him with every push and every pull. She was really good with him, and I couldn’t help but notice her. I may have married wrong, but over the years had developed the ability to really judge someone’s character, not from what they said, but from what they did when they thought no one was watching. I knew Quinn was a good woman, a woman with morals, love, and someone who really enjoyed watching over Jake, as well as other children. Not to mention the fact that she was sexy as hell with a perfect ass, strong legs, and curves in all the right places. She was definitely easy on the eyes, which made it all that much better, not that her figure had anything to do with how she treated my son, but it was definitely a plus.
I shook my head, pushing the thoughts from my mind and forcing myself to remember what the task at hand really was. I needed to stay focused in order to have this in my life, not just once in a while, but all of the time. I wanted my son at least half of the time, if not more, and if Sarah couldn’t get her act together, my pursuit of joint custody was only the beginning. I needed a strong female influence to bolster my court case. I needed someone who was kind, gentle, and would be willing to stand up for what was best for Jake. She had to be sure of her love for my son, and ready to take on the world to make sure that he was safe. I realized then that maybe my train of thought was not so far off after all.
Quinn was a perfect candidate for this task. She already loved Jake, wanted what was best for him, and obviously could tell that I wasn’t the man who I was being painted to be. Not just that, but Jake already loved her so there would be no real transition period for him and he would feel extremely comfortable with her. Everything about it seemed perfect; I just needed to make sure she thought so too. What I was asking was a big deal, and I knew that not just any woman would be up for the task. I needed to have my son, no matter what amount of money it cost me. Money didn’t matter to me if I didn’t have my son there by my side. Besides, just the thought of yanking Sarah’s babysitter out from underneath her gave me a great deal of satisfaction. She would be so pissed, and that alone was worth the ordeal.
Quinn laughed as Jake fluttered his legs through the air, pretending he was flying. Her laugh was almost contagious, and when she looked at Jake, her eyes glistened. There was definitely something behind those eyes, a secret that she kept very guarded, but whatever it was, I couldn’t imagine it being anything too severe. Quinn was a woman who wouldn’t hurt a fly; I could already tell. She looked down at her watch and walked over to the bench.
“I have to get him back and start dinner,” she said quietly
. “Sarah will be angry if it isn’t done on time.”
“She can be quite the terrorist,” I laughed. “Funny since there wasn’t a night in our entire marriage that she actually cooked dinner. Either I cooked, or she ordered food and had it delivered.”
“I don’t mind,” she said. “I like to cook for Jake, and sometimes Sarah lets me stay and eat with him. Especially if she has had a long day and isn’t hungry.”
“What are you cooking tonight?”
“Oh, I haven’t fully decided, but I am leaning toward an old family recipe,” she said. “My mother was an amazing cook, and when she passed away, she left all the recipes to me. I don’t know if I am as good as her, but I definitely love doing it. I can remember cooking with her when I was a child. Tonight, I am thinking we are going to have fried chicken and mashed potatoes with buttermilk biscuits. Jake really likes my biscuits; he ate like four the last time I made them. I work in the morning, so I’ll be able to use the leftovers and make him biscuits and gravy before school. That way he goes to school with a full belly and an empty brain, or at least that’s what my father used to say.”
“Wow, that sounds amazing,” I said, realizing that I was actually starving. “I wish I could get in on the chicken and biscuits.”
“I know Jake would sure love it if you could,” she said, smiling broadly. “He really gets excited when he doesn’t have to eat alone, and he always stares at the empty chair at the end of the table.”
“That’s where I used to sit,” I said, standing up.
Sure, the sound of a home-cooked meal sounded absolutely amazing, but what I missed even more than that were family dinners. I didn’t miss Sarah at all, but I definitely missed sitting next to my little man and relaxing at the end of a long day. He would always mimic me as I ate, wanting to be just like me. I could tell Sarah hated it, but it was something special between the two of us. I walked over and picked Jake up, squeezing him tightly in my arms.