by Claire Adams
"Go for it." She winked at me and turned to Karen. "Try the blueberry one. It's to die for."
I walked down the hall, knocking on mom's door before slipping into the room. "Mom?"
She turned and gave me a weak smile. "Hey, baby."
"Hi. Maddie brought you some treats." I walked to the bed and sat down beside her as she glanced back toward the window.
"Thank you." She closed her eyes. "I'm not hungry. I'm tired, and I wanna see your daddy soon."
The hot ball of fear stuck in my throat choked me. "Well, then I'll just eat them." I tried to keep my voice light as tears burned my gaze. I prayed like hell that Maddie would stay out. I didn't want her to see me choked up.
"You know how much I love you?" Her voice was a rough whisper.
"Yes, mom." I stood and moved to the desk near her window, setting down the treats. "You know we forgot something at the wedding, right?"
"Your chapter?" She patted the bed beside her, barely moving her thin fingers. "Read it to me now? Please?"
"Only you." I pulled a chair to the edge of the bed and sat down, pulling out my phone and opening the document. I reached out and picked up her hand, kissing it softly. "I love you so much."
"Me too." Her eyelashes fluttered, and she closed them again. "Don't mind me if I fall asleep. Just keep reading."
I nodded and cleared my throat. I was so fucking close to breaking down. We didn't have six months. We didn't have six days from what I could tell. Maybe going to Maddie's parents for dinner was a bad idea.
No. Mom wouldn't feel up to eating anyway, and if anything happened, Karen would call me right away.
I started reading and glanced up to see Maddie stick her head in the room. I motioned for her to come in, suddenly more than willing to have her hear the story too. My voice broke a little as I neared the end of the first chapter and glanced up to see my mother sleeping, her skin almost translucent.
"Gavin," Maddie whispered as she walked toward me. "Come on. Let her rest."
I nodded and stood, turning and welcoming Maddie in my arms. I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes. Life was beyond fleeing, and I was a man that couldn't seem to hold onto anyone I loved.
"I'm happy we did this." Mattie glanced over at me in the car as I drove us out to her parent's place. She squeezed my hand softly.
"You must have seen the money." I licked the side of my mouth in hopes of curing the dryness on my tongue. My mom wasn't going to last much longer. I should have been right beside her. I didn't want her to die alone. It scared the fuck out of me. "I deposited it earlier this past week. It just takes forever because—"
"Hey. It's not the money, okay? It's you. I'm glad all of this happened because of the friendship that you and I will have when it's done." She pulled her hand back, and I realized she was pale.
"What's up?" I pulled into the drive away as a cold sweat ran across me. I hadn't seen Maddie's parents in years. Were they still kind and welcoming? Would they be pissed about us being married?
Not that we really were, but we were still sporting rings like we were. I hadn't been in front of a girl's parents that I was dating since high school.
Dating? Is that what I thought we were doing? It was laughable.
"I just want you to like them." She got out of the car and walked to the front, waiting for me.
"I already like them, silly woman. We grew up together. Your cousin is my best friend in the whole world." I reached her and pulled her into a hug, needing her warmth.
"Kiss me. Please?" The need in her eyes left me with no choice, not that I would have denied her anyway.
I wanted her kisses every day. All the damn time. As many as I could store up.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Maddie
His lips were soft against mine, but a hunger showed in his eyes that had me wishing we were back at his place and not standing three feet from my parent's front door.
"Maddie? Gavin?" My mom's voice caused me to pull back from the kiss. "Come on in and stop making out on the porch. Jeez. Silly kids."
Gavin's cheeks bled pink, and I couldn't help but laugh as I walked toward my mom for a quick hug.
"Don't embarrass him or me." I hugged her tightly.
"Now, that's no fun." My dad walked out the front door and gave me a hug before putting his arm around my shoulders and extending his hand to Gavin. "Hey there. I sure wish you would have come to see us before you proposed to my little girl here."
"I know. I'm sorry. It was—" he started, but my father cut him off.
"We know." He smiled. "And we're proud of you for honoring your mother. I'd just always imagined the day when Maddie's boyfriend came limping up the front lawn and—"
"Why does he have to be limping?" I glanced up at my father and smacked him in the chest.
"Cause love hurts." He smiled and turned back to Gavin. "And I'd be in the living room, cleaning my guns. We'd talk for a few minutes, and I'd scare the hell outta the guy because, well, that's what dad's do, right honey?" He glanced over at my mom.
"Oh, brother." She walked past all of us toward the house. "Gavin ignore him and get in here. He's definitely where Maddie gets her great acting abilities. They're both so darn dramatic."
My dad released me and followed my mom in, talking about his dreams of one day being on Broadway.
I groaned and rolled my eyes as Gavin walked toward me. "Make a run for it. I'll divert them and you drive like your ass is on fire. Go! Let me save you."
He cupped my face and leaned down, kissing me softly, like we were together, like he truly loved me. "Not a chance in hell. I gotta see how this plays out." He kissed me again, and I pressed up into it.
"Can I stay with you tonight? I'll sleep on the couch." I moved back and ran my hand down his strong chest. "I just don't want to be alone in the apartment."
"Of course you can." He took my hand as we walked toward the house. "But you have to promise me one thing."
"What that?" I moved in behind him and clasped my hands behind me to keep from reaching out and touching him. I didn't want to get too familiar with him. He was paying me, and I was his fake wife for a few more weeks at most. He was being nice, but it might be short-lived if I weren't careful.
He waited until we walked into the living room where my parents were standing close together. "You let your mom and dad tell me all of the stories from your childhood that they want to."
"Yes!" My father yelled and pumped his fist in the air.
"No way." I shook my head and turned to go back into the kitchen. "Mom, come on, and I'll help finish dinner."
"Behave." My mom walked into the kitchen and stopped beside me with a huge grin on her face. "Oh my God... he's beautiful."
I snorted. "I told you he was good looking."
"He's way beyond good looking."
"You're being creepy. Stop, please." I smirked, teasing her as I opened the fridge and pulled out everything we would need for a salad. "He's a great guy. There's so much more to him than his looks."
"Oh, I know. Your Aunt doesn't shut up about what a great man he is. You know him and Ron have been running the roads together since they were old enough to get into trouble together." She pulled the top off a cake dish and smiled. "Wa-la! I tried a new cake recipe."
"Oh no." I groaned and walked over to check it out. My mom was a decent cook, but a horrible baker. "Wait. Is that peanut butter frosting?" I ran my finger around the edge, dipping it into the light brown icing.
"Yep. Just for my baby." She beamed.
"Oh. Wow." I licked my finger clean and went in for another taste as she pulled my hand back.
"Nope. Not until after dinner. I have steaks ready for dad to put on the grill and there are potatoes in the oven. Should be yummy." She picked up her phone as it rang and let out a frustrated sound as she turned the ringer off. "Creditors. All the damn time."
Guilt raced through me. "One day I'll be able to help with all of that."
"I know y
ou will." She cupped my cheek and smiled. "I love you so much. I can't imagine how hard it must be for Gavin to lose his mother. How is he holding up?"
The sound of my dad laughing in the living room with Gavin warmed my heart. He was such a good man. And I'd taken his money. I needed to give it back, but knowing how badly my parents needed my help stop me from thinking about it. I would make my decision soon. Give it back and tell him that I loved him, or keep it, help my folks, and get on the first plane to Cali.
Just because I had deep feelings for Gavin didn't mean that he shared them. He was playing his part just like I was playing mine, but the act had run up for me a while back. It wasn't hard to pretend we were together because in my heart... we were.
"Hey. You still here?" My mom waved her hand in front of my face.
"Oh yeah. Sorry." I let out a soft sigh. "I was just thinking about Ms. Hayward. She's not doing well at all. She couldn't even hold her head up this morning when we went to see her."
"Oh, no." She moved back and crossed her arms over her chest. "And how is Gavin handling it all? Getting married so fast is a tall order, but having his mother dying, too? Poor boy."
"He's doing okay." I moved up to the door and glanced through, looking for him. He was holding one of my father's guns, aiming it at the wall as my dad excitedly walked through the features of the gun. He would fit into my family so well. So well that it hurt, driving a stake of loss through me that felt like it might never heal.
"Well. Thank God he has you." She wrapped her arms around me from behind and pressed her chin to my shoulder. "You're a good woman, baby. You'll get him through it."
I nodded, unable to lie anymore. I was weary from all of it.
After helping her fix the rest of dinner, we met the boys at the table and sat down. My father and Gavin had been outside cooking the steaks and telling stories about the town and Ron from what I could tell. My handsome fake husband looked at ease, his eyes filled with merriment.
"Tell me about Maddie as a teenager." Gavin winked at me and turned his attention to my mother as she picked up his plate and started to fill it.
"Oh, my. We'll be here all night," my mother said.
They all laughed as I groaned. The stories started after we prayed and somehow I ended up laughing right alongside them.
We finished up and walked out on the front porch with my mom and dad in tow behind us.
"I really wish you'd let me and Maddie clean up the kitchen," Gavin said as we paused and turned to face my folks.
"Not a chance. We do that together every night." My dad wrapped his arm around my mom's shoulders and leaned down to kiss her. "It's something you and Maddie should do, too. There's something cleansing about it." He snorted, and my mom popped him in the stomach.
I gave them both a hug and walked to the car with my hand in Gavin's. I was dreading the moment we parted, but it wouldn't be that night. He'd agreed to let me stay, and though it wasn't good for either of us to grow closer, I couldn't help wanting to try to.
"You okay?" he asked as we got out of the car and walked up to his house. I wanted him to reach for my hand, but there was no one to perform in front of, so he didn't.
"I guess." I glanced down and breathed in deeply. "Just worried."
"About?" He opened the door and walked toward the bedroom, pulling off his shirt and kicking off his shoes.
"Everything." I walked behind him and crawled up on the bed as he flopped down on his back.
"Wanna talk about it?" He opened his arms, and I took advantage of his kindness straight away.
"No." I laid on his chest and brushed my fingers along the soft hair that lead into his jeans. "Just hold me and let me pretend like I mean something to you."
He kissed my head and closed his eyes, letting out a long sigh of contentment. If I had meant anything, he would have said something. I gave him the perfect opening to do so.
I glanced up as his breathing deepened and snuggled in tighter on his side. "Gavin?"
Nothing.
Leaning in, I kissed his chest and pressed my face into the side of his neck, breathing him in and drowning in his warmth.
"I love you," I whispered and closed my eyes, knowing that the money meant nothing without him in my life.
Nothing did.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Gavin
Waking to the sound of someone knocking at the door had me feeling like I was repeating the morning before. I jerked up and half-knocked Maddie of the bed. Reaching for her, I gripped her arm and pulled her back up.
"Sorry." I leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose as she grumbled and snuggled up against me.
"Don't go," she whispered half-asleep. The neediness in her voice had my heart swelling in my chest. She tugged at the covers and rolled away from me, obviously lost in a dream. I could only hope that I was a part of it.
The knock on the door grew more insistent, almost aggravating.
"I'm coming. Shit." I grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled a shirt over my head as I stumbled to the front door. Ron better have a good fucking reason for coming over so early on a Sunday morning.
The church people weren't even up yet.
I jerked the door open and stopped dead in my tracks.
"Gavin," Karen whispered, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "She's not getting up."
"Fuck." I moved past her and ran with all of my might toward my mom's house, plowing into the door as I called out to her. "Mom? Mom. It's me. Come on. Get up."
I walked into her bedroom and stopped. It was freezing, as if death had brought winter with it. "Mom?" I croaked out before moving to her side and sinking down to my knees. Her skin was ice cold, and there was no life left in her.
A sob rose out of me that shook my body. I pressed my face to the mattress beside her hand and cried for my loss. What seemed like only a few minutes later, warm arms wrapped tightly around me.
Maddie. "I'm right here for you." She kissed the side of my face and wiped at my tears as I pressed my face farther into the comforter.
How embarrassing.
"I'm fine." I forced myself back and reached up to wipe away my tears angrily.
She sat back on her heels, her beautiful face stained with tears as well. She kept her eyes locked on me. "It's okay if you're not."
"Well, I am." I stood up and brushed my hand down my face, walking out of the bedroom toward the bathroom. "I'll meet you out front in a second. I just need to wash my face."
I turned to my left and closed the bathroom door behind me, turning on the faucet and sinking down to the toilet as another sob lifted out of me. I knew the moment was coming. I knew mom was going to die. I should have stayed the night before. Why didn't I follow my instincts?
What the fuck was the matter with me?
I spent a while in the bathroom, racing through every emotion known to man, but finally, I pulled myself together enough to stand on shaky knees.
Karen was standing in mother's door when I walked out. Her face was filled with sorry and echoed mine perfect. "I'm so sorry, Gavin."
"We knew it was coming." I ran my hand over my face again. "I guess I need to call the morgue?"
"Already done." She pursed her lips and took in a deep breath. "I took care of that before coming to see you. They should be here any minute. I'll go with you to the funeral home this afternoon if you want me to."
"No." I walked over and pulled the older woman into a warm hug. "Thank you for everything. I know it was your job, but I'm grateful that I had someone to trust with mom while I was gone."
She nodded and moved out of my hold. "It's never easy to let someone go. Not even for me who's had to do it a million times."
"What can I do to help you? Need me to help you get your things together?" I tried to focus on her, which would be much better than focusing on me and my pain.
"No. You go on over to your place, and I'll let you know when the mortician shows up. I think Maddie headed back over there."
"Okay. Thank you again." I nodded, squeezed her shoulder and walked out into the bright sunlight.
Maddie was sitting on my porch and stood the minute I walked up. She pressed her hands to her mouth and let out a soft cry.
"Come here." I walked over and pulled her into my arms, pressing my cheek to the top her head and holding her while she cried.
"We should have been there." She shook in my arms, and her grief comforted me. She cared about my mother. It had been more than obvious. What a waste that it was all for not. It could have been something beautiful. Us. Our relationship. Hell, it was turning that corner whether either of us wanted it to or not.
"Shhh... it's okay." I kissed her head again and moved back. "I don't mean to be brash, but I need some time to myself, okay? I'll call you when things settle down a little."
"Are you sure?" The need in her eyes let me know that she was either the best actress in the whole fucking universe or the girl was falling in love.
"Yeah. Forgive me." I touched her cheek. "I need some time to grieve without worry about you seeing me."
"Gavin." She pleaded with me in her expression, but I couldn’t give in. Not to her. Not right now.
"I'll call you later." I walked in and grabbed her keys from the counter. "Thanks for everything."
She took the keys, leaned in and kissed me and turned, walking to her car with her arms wrapped around herself. It might have been shitty of me, but I needed to get drunk after talking with the mortician.
Liquor would give me a break that nothing else could.
I closed the door and walked to the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. I grabbed a shot glass and set it on the counter beside it and walked back to mom's house.
An older gentleman in a dark suit with slicked-back gray hair showed up half an hour later and helped walk me through my next steps. His voice was soft, his eyes kind.
"Do you have any other family that can help you through this, son?" He reached out and touched my arm, glancing down. "A wife?"
"No." I pulled off the ring and put it in my pocket. "But I'm fine. Just do what you need to do and tell me where I need to be and when."