by Claire Adams
“He's got no reason to do that,” I muttered.
“He's got every reason to do that,” Misty countered. “He's a billionaire, Lexi, and that means that he is constantly being watched by members of the press. In fact, he was recently voted one of Seattle's hottest young bachelors. Now, imagine what would happen if the press were to find out that Andrew wasn't the unattached bachelor that he might appear to be. He doesn't want you to take this story to the press, and that gives you leverage against him.”
“I wouldn't want to do that to him, though,” I said. “I wouldn't want to do that to Emma, most of all.”
“Of course not,” Misty said matter-of-factly. “And I know that, and you know that. But you know what? I doubt Andrew knows that about you. He might suspect that you wouldn't go to the press, but there is still that risk there.”
“Sneaky,” I said, smiling a little, in spite of myself.
“If nothing else, Andrew is going to want to avoid looking like a jerk,” Misty said. “Trust me; he'll figure out some way to pay you a decent amount as child support.”
“I hope that's true,” I said. “But he wouldn't be the first billionaire to flat-out deny the fact that they had sired a child. Steve Jobs spent years denying that he had a daughter. He publicly challenged the DNA test that purportedly proved that she was his. How do I know that Andrew isn't going to be just another Steve Jobs?”
Misty was silent for a long moment, and my heart clenched at the possibility of that scenario happening. When she spoke again, though, her voice was strong. “You don't know if he's going to be just another Steve Jobs,” she allowed. “But Steve Jobs did, eventually, reconcile with his daughter. You want what's best for Emma, I know. But Emma's going to do just fine, with or without her father's help. And if Andrew can eventually find it in himself to be there for Emma, maybe that's all you can ask for.”
“But what do I do between now and then?” I asked exasperatedly. “Yes, Misty, it would be nice to know that he would be there for her eventually. But I need her to live long enough for that to happen, and in order for her to live long enough, I need for Andrew to not tie us up in litigation from now until eternity.”
“Maybe the opposite will be true, though,” Misty suggested. “Maybe Andrew is going to turn out to be way better than you expected. Maybe now that he knows about Emma, he'll work on getting his life together. Stop sleeping around and start taking care of you the way that he should.”
“He's apparently already stopped sleeping around,” I told her. “He has a girlfriend. His maid, Janice, doesn't seem to think much of the woman.”
“Hmm,” Misty said, considering that. “Sounds like that girlfriend is probably the reason Andrew wants you out of there so soon, then. That makes sense.”
“It does,” I sighed. “But it doesn't mean that things are going to continue to be good once Andrew moves us out of here. Out of sight and out of mind.”
“How's Emma taking to all of it, anyway?” Misty asked.
“You know her,” I said, shaking my head. “Totally unflappable. Actually, she's over the moon. Yesterday, she and Janice baked chocolate chip cookies, and today, Janice bought her a few coloring books and a new box of a hundred crayons. Did you know crayons even came in boxes of a hundred? How many different colors does a kid really need?”
“Sounds like you're a little jealous,” Misty said, and I could hear a hint of amusement in her voice. Her tone softened. “I know that you want to be able to give all of that to Emma, but for now, aren't you just happy that somehow, some way, Emma is getting to live in a nice house and eat cookies and color?”
“I am,” I sighed. “I really am. It's just difficult.”
“Maybe you should take a lesson from Emma,” Misty suggested. “Be unflappable. Settle in, even if it's not going to be forever. Try to get along with Andrew. He can't be too horrible if he fathered a girl as sweet as Emma.”
“He's just a rich jerk,” I told Misty. “These rich guys hold all the power, and they know it. They don't think of anyone except themselves. From the way he talks, Andrew still doesn't think he owes anything to Emma. Or to me. Especially not to me.”
Misty made a sympathetic noise. “For now, it sounds like all you can really do is try to stay calm, look for work, and hope for the best. Don't go looking for trouble where there's none to be found. If Andrew is willing to let the two of you stay, even for a little while, that's better than the position you were in yesterday.”
I sighed. “The thing is, Misty, with my luck, I have to expect the worst. I need to be able to see trouble coming so that I can deal with it. If I don't expect that he's going to kick us out in a month or two, if I don't expect that he could kick us out tomorrow, I'm going to be caught flat-footed when it actually happens. And that's no way to live.”
“But is this really any better?” Misty asked.
I picked at a hole that was forming in my jeans and shrugged my shoulders, even though I knew she couldn't see me do so. “I have to go,” I said as I heard Emma call for me from inside the room. “I'll be by to get our things sometime soon.”
“Okay,” Misty said. “Keep your chin up, girl.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Thanks for everything.”
Chapter Fourteen
Andrew
I waited impatiently outside the airport for my driver to pull up, irked that he wasn't there as soon as I walked out the sliding doors. My business trip had gone well, remarkably so, but I was jetlagged and exhausted now that I was back in Seattle. I regretted not having broken my return up into shorter hops, first London to New York to check in on our offices there, and then New York to Seattle a few days later. Something about being thirty made these trips seem a lot more difficult.
Or maybe it was just the fact that I hadn't been sleeping all that well, plagued by thoughts of what I was about to come home to.
I threw my bag into the back of the car and climbed in after it, sliding across the leather seats and relaxing back. My driver greeted me, but I was in no mood to talk, so after a curt “hello,” I quickly closed my eyes, signaling that I wanted my peace and quiet.
Despite the fact that that peace and quiet gave me far too much time to think some more.
It was almost a relief when my phone rang. Almost a relief, until I saw that it was Renée who was calling. I steeled my nerves and answered the thing, reasoning that it was better to answer her call now and get it out of the way than to wait and call her back once I was at home, where Lexi might overhear me.
“Hey babe,” Renée said as I answered the phone. “I assume you made it back all right?”
“Right on schedule,” I said, feeling a tightness forming around my eyes.
“You've been so quiet lately,” Renée said, and I could practically hear her pout. “You only called me once the whole week that you were gone. I've been lonely.”
“I've been busy,” I said with a small sigh. “You know how important this trip was for me. Plus, remember how I said, if this trip went well and we expanded to London, you and I might get to take a trip there sometime in the near future?”
“I remember,” Renée said. “But I still missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” I told her, even though I wasn't entirely sure that was true.
I'd spent the whole week running from one meeting to another, and whenever I'd had the scantest moment to even breathe or to inhale some food, I'd been thinking about what to do with Lexi and Emma. I'd even gone so far as to make a couple calls to make sure that Emma would have a place in a great daycare for the summer.
But I wasn't about to tell Renée any of that. Better that I lie and let her think that I'd spent all my free time thinking about her.
“Did you bring me back something from London?” she asked, and I rolled my eyes. She was predictable. Bring her a nice gift and she never stayed sulky for very long.
“I did bring you a little something, as a matter of fact,” I told her. “Or rather, I bought you something and
I had it shipped to you. You should receive it in a couple days.”
To be honest, it had slipped my mind to bring her anything. I probably wouldn't have had the time to find something for her, even if I had remembered to. But I could order something online and have it rush delivered to her. Or even better, I could have my secretary order something online and have it rush delivered to her. It made no difference to me.
“When do I get to see you?” Renée asked, her voice going sultry.
I sighed. “I'm not so sure about that,” I told her.
“How about I come over tonight, and we have some fun?” she suggested. “That would give you the afternoon to have a little nap, take a shower, and get yourself all ready for me.”
I grimaced. I could only imagine the scene we would have if she showed up at my house that night and found Lexi and Emma there. “As tempting as that offer is, I'm really exhausted,” I told her. It wasn't a lie.
“You're working too hard again,” Renée said, and that pouty note was back in her voice. I barely bit back a groan of frustration.
“Unless I wanted to stay in Europe for twice as long as I did, yes, I needed to cram in a bunch of meetings with a bunch of different people, on a bunch of different topics. I couldn't help that. And then after those meetings, I went to dinner with some of the guys from their offices. I had to build rapport to make sure that this expansion goes as smoothly as we want it to. But it's not just because of work. I'm also jetlagged. It's only two in the afternoon here, but according to my body, it's already ten p.m. And I'm only going to get more tired as the day wears on.”
“You can make time to go to dinner with the guys at work after you've been in meetings with them for the whole day, but you can't make any time to see me?” Renée asked, her tone acidic. “I'm not even asking you to go out to dinner with me. I know I couldn't get you to agree to leave the house tonight. But you could at least let me come over.”
“Renée,” I said, feeling even more exhausted the longer this conversation went on.
“I wouldn't make you do the work,” she promised. “I'll give you a blowjob to get you started, and then before you come, I'll—”
“Renée, stop,” I interrupted. As hot as she was and as much as I enjoyed blowjobs, my dick barely stirred at the thought of it. I was just too stressed out about the Emma situation, and I really was worn out. “I don't want to see you tonight.”
There was silence on the other end of the line. “You never want to see me anymore. I can hardly even get you to talk to me anymore.”
“I've just been busy,” I sighed. “That's what happens when you run a large company, especially when that large company is hoping to expand its offices.”
She still didn't respond, and I cast around in my head for something that I could say to placate her. I had already told her I was having something shipped to her from London. I should have saved that for later in the conversation.
“Why don't I take you out to dinner later this week?” I finally settled on. “We'll have a nice, romantic evening, just the two of us. And then we'll go back home, and I'll take my time getting you off. Tease you nice and slow, just like I know you like.”
“That sounds nice,” Renée finally said grudgingly. “Are you sure you can free up time in your busy, busy schedule for that, though?”
“I'll make time,” I promised. “Let me call around tomorrow and see where I can get us a table, and then I'll let you know.”
“Okay,” she said.
“Just give me a couple days to decompress, hand over all the information to the guys at the office so that they can further the project along, and get some sleep. You know the sex will be better if I'm not half-dead with exhaustion at the time.”
“Just don't work yourself too hard over the next few days, then,” Renée said with a sigh.
“I won't,” I promised, even though I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep that promise. “I'll save up all my energy for you.”
Renée giggled. “You're going to need it. I've been thinking of some different things that we could do.”
“Oh, have you?” I asked, wearily amused by the mischievous note in her voice.
“I missed you,” she said simply in response.
“Well, I'll see you soon enough,” I promised.
“Good.”
We said our goodbyes and hung up the phone. I stared morosely down at the phone in my hands as we continued to make our way through the traffic and back to my house. I had a headache already, and I hadn't even made it home yet.
I didn't know what the state of things would be at home, once I got back. I had told Janice to only call me in case of emergency. Since she hadn't called, I assumed that everything had been fine. But I wondered whether Lexi had managed to find a job. I wondered how Emma was settling in. I wondered if they had brought all their things over from Lexi's friend's place.
Part of me hoped that she hadn't moved her things over yet. I was going to need to figure out what to do with her, and quickly.
I couldn't keep putting Renée off like that. She was jealous by nature, and I could only imagine the types of suspicion she must be feeling at the moment. She had to assume that my interest was waning. The last thing I wanted was for her to find out about Lexi and Emma on her own, but there was no way I was going to tell her about them either.
Best to just make the problem go away and kick it under the rug.
It wasn't as though I was in love with Renée. I knew I should be. She was beautiful and intelligent, although she tried to hide it, and driven to succeed. I liked all those things in a woman. Our sex was great as well. And she loved me. I knew that had to count for something.
But the longer I stayed with her, the more I realized that something was missing. She didn't excite me in the ways that I needed her to. If she were in Lexi's position, if we'd had a one-night stand and then gone three years without seeing one another, I doubted I would have remembered her name or what the sex was like.
That said, my relationship with Renée was the longest relationship that I'd ever managed to have. I had to figure that if I was going to fall in love with anyone, it was going to be Renée. I was just still waiting for that to happen.
My thoughts strayed again to my dad. They'd been doing that a lot lately, ever since Emma had come into my life. I wondered if my dad had ever loved my mother. Had he ever loved me or Katherine? Did he love the bimbo that he'd run away to the Bahamas with?
Maybe I was just as cold and emotionless as he was. Maybe I was never going to be able to feel love for someone, not Lexi, not Renée, not Emma.
It wouldn't be so surprising.
I swallowed hard as we pulled up in front of my house, already steeling myself for what was waiting inside. But the one bright patch in this whole thing was the thought of Emma's face when she saw the stuffed animal sloth that I had brought back for her. I couldn't help but smile, thinking of that.
I got out of the car, grabbing my bag and heading up towards the front door.
Chapter Fifteen
Lexi
Janice decided to take Emma to the park for the morning, so I unexpectedly had some time to myself. I had thought about going with them to the park, but Janice had practically shooed me off, telling me to go enjoy myself for a couple hours and stop worrying so much.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a few hours to myself. It had been a long time since I'd been able to afford a babysitter, and even when we'd been staying with Misty, it had mostly been Misty, Emma, and I doing things together, or else it had been Misty watching Emma while I did specific tasks like job interviews.
Trying to figure out what to do with myself that morning was difficult. I started out like I always did, checking my email to see if there was anything promising on the job front. Andrew had been out of town all week, but I had still been trying hard to get a job. I applied to positions high and low, just hoping to hear something back from one of them.
Andrew wasn't around to check up
on me and make sure that—how did he put it?—his investment was following what had been set out in the original contract? But despite Misty's insistence that Andrew wouldn't kick me out as soon as possible, I still wanted to have a head start and hopefully be back on my feet again by the time he did decide to get rid of us.
Unfortunately, I had yet to find anyone who was even interested in interviewing me. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. Maybe it was something with my résumé, other than the fact that there was a giant gap from about three and a half years ago up to now.
Or maybe something was wrong with the job market itself. It seemed like no matter what I tried to do, I was passed over. Retail jobs seemed to think I was overqualified. Office jobs seemed to think I was under-qualified. I couldn't win.
I trashed rejection email after generic rejection email, wondering when the string of them would end.
I'd been comfortable since moving into Andrew's place. I still wanted to find a job, but I could feel myself being lured into complacency at the same time. It would be so easy to get used to this. I refused to let myself relax, though. This was a temporary situation, and I had to take advantage of it while I could. Like it or not, I’d be moving soon.
It was difficult to keep applying for jobs when I didn't know where I was going to be living come next week. Now that Andrew was back from his business trip, I could only assume he would make good on his promise to move Emma and me out of there, posthaste.
Maybe I shouldn't apply to anything else before Andrew and I had a long talk about what the future was going to hold for Emma and me. The last thing I wanted was to get my hopes up over a job that I'd been selected to interview for, only to find out that I was still going to be staying out here with Andrew, and thus, would have no way to commute to the job that I was hired to do.