by Claire Adams
She scowled at Lexi. “Who the hell is she, huh?” Renée continued, her voice rising as she took a step closer to Lexi. For a moment, I thought she was going to try to pull Lexi's hair or claw her or something. As hot as that might be, I stepped protectively between the two of them.
“Calm down,” I said to Renée, my voice low and as even as I could make it.
“Calm down?” Renée snarled. “Who is she? You have five seconds!”
Behind me, I heard Emma start to cry, no doubt frightened by this strange lady who had come into the house and started yelling. I felt a surge of anger, especially when I remembered how happy we had all been as we were climbing out of the car. For Renée to take that away from Emma was inexcusable.
I managed to keep my voice level as I glanced back at Lexi. “Lexi, can you and Emma and Janice please go upstairs while I talk to Renée?” I asked.
“Okay,” Lexi said. She was barely audible, and I spared a moment to wonder why she was so scared. Did she think I was going to take Renée's side and kick her out? Didn't she realize that I could never do that to Emma? At this point, I didn't even want to think of Lexi going without a roof overhead and food on the table. But that was something to think about at another time. Right now, I needed to focus on Renée.
“Who is she?” the woman asked one more time, her voice tight with anger.
I sighed. “Let me pour you a drink,” I suggested, leading the way into the living room. Mixing the drinks was a way for me to settle myself a little and to think through what I wanted to say. Not that I really had a choice of what to say. There was no lying about Lexi now. Renée had to know that the woman meant something to me.
Maybe Lexi was right, and honesty was the best policy.
“I had a one-night stand with Lexi, years ago,” I told Renée. “Three years and nine months ago, as a matter of fact. The girl, Emma, she's our daughter.”
“You have a daughter,” Renée said flatly.
“I have a daughter,” I agreed. I took a sip of my drink, running my hand over my face. “I didn't know that when we first started dating. Actually, I just found out about Emma right before my business trip. That's why I've been so out of touch lately. I've been trying to figure things out.”
“What's there to figure out?” Renée snapped. “Do you even know if the kid is yours?”
“She's mine,” I sighed.
“You did a paternity test?”
“No, I didn't do a paternity test.” I shook my head. “She looks just like Katherine used to, though. There's no mistaking it. Besides, I don't think Lexi would lie to me. If she says that Emma must be mine, then I believe that Emma must be mine.”
“She's probably just using you for your money,” Renée spat.
It was on the tip of my tongue to point out that I was pretty sure Renée was just using me for my money, but I managed to refrain. I shrugged. “I'm enjoying getting to know Emma,” I said simply.
Renée sneered at me. “You're not a dad. You might have fathered a child, but you're not the kind of guy to stick around while the kid grows up. You're not the kind of guy to help her with her homework or plan birthday parties or any of that.”
“I'm not,” I agreed. “But I'm trying to be.”
“Why is she here all the time anyway?” Renée asked, pouting. “She was here even when you weren't here.”
“She happens to be living here at the moment,” I said. “It's a long story, but she doesn't have anywhere else to go. It's just temporary.”
I thought Renée was going to explode. “She's living here?” she snapped. “I, your girlfriend, am only allowed to come over a couple nights a week at the most, and she's living here? What the hell!”
I rubbed at my temples, feeling a migraine start to form behind my eyes. “Like I said, it's a long story. It's all an unusual situation, but I didn't know what else to do. It's not as though I've ever had to deal with this situation before.”
“I can't believe this,” Renée said. “I don't even know where to begin: with the fact that you lied to me, or the fact that that good-for-nothing, gold-digging whore is living here with you. Or the fact that you never seem to be able to find time for me, and yet today, you had no problem blowing off work to spend a whole day with her and her little brat!”
“Let's not resort to name-calling,” I suggested icily. I was livid at the fact that she would call Lexi a good-for-nothing, gold-digging whore. I was even more upset by her calling Emma a brat, especially after she had scared the poor kid out in the hallway. But I was trying my best not to yell at her. I didn't want Emma to possibly overhear. I knew the place was reasonably soundproof, but all the same, I didn't want to stoop to that level.
“Some defense that is,” Renée snarled. “You've been putting off dating me all week so that you can hang out with them, and you aren't sorry at all. Not yet, anyway. But you will be. I should dump you. I deserve better than this, and you know it. I could really make you sorry.”
It was her threatening to break up with me that did it. I started laughing. “You're right, we should break up,” I said, enjoying that brief look of horror that I saw flash in her eyes.
“You're not serious,” she said, tossing her head and letting her hair swirl down behind her.
“I'm totally serious,” I said, narrowing my eyes at her. “Renée, I'm done with you.”
“You're going to choose some one-night stand over me, the woman who you've been dating for months?” Renée scoffed. “Come on. She clearly wasn't worth hanging on to three years ago. Why would you want to have her back in your life now? Sure, she had a kid, and she says the kid is yours. But who knows what the real story is. And even if that is your kid, you don't have any responsibility towards it. Just pay your child support check every month, and no one will complain. She definitely doesn't have to be living here!”
“She's a guest in my house,” I said simply, shrugging.
“She isn't welcome here,” Renée sniffed.
“You're not welcome here,” I corrected. “I'm not in love with you, Renée. I never was in love with you, and I don't think I ever will be in love with you. I wanted to be in love with you, but to be honest, at the moment, I'm having a hard time remembering why. You're selfish, and you're jealous, and you're a bitch. I don't want to see you anymore. I'm done with you.”
In retrospect, giving her a drink was a stupid decision to make. The next thing I knew, she had thrown it in my face and slammed the glass down on the wooden coffee table with enough force to shatter the glass.
“Do you really think you can get away with choosing that bitch over me?” Renée asked, apparently still not finished with the theatrics, even as I sputtered and wiped the alcohol off my face with the hand towel from behind the bar.
“I'm not choosing any woman over any other woman,” I told her, trying to be reasonable, despite the fact that she had very nearly just blinded me with her gin and tonic. “I've decided that I need to take a break from dating for a while. I'm so tied up with work at the moment, and then there's everything with Emma to think about, as well. I still need to get my head wrapped around all of these changes. I'm not choosing Lexi over you. I'm just choosing not to be in a relationship with anyone at this time.”
Renée laughed, sounding almost manic. “And how long do you think you can make that last, Andrew?” she snapped. “You never were the celibate type. Bet it takes you one week before you come crawling back to me, begging me to get you off. But I'm not going to let you do that. Once you break up with me, you are never going to get a minute of my time, ever again. Do you understand me?”
“I understand you,” I said quietly. I felt a pang at that. I really did want to somehow make things work with her. In some way. I was definitely attracted to her, and I liked her spirit. I liked that she knew what she wanted from life and wasn't willing to put up with any bullshit.
But I wasn't going to try to make things work with her over making things work with Lexi and Emma.
�
��You're going to regret this,” she told me, still lingering. “I'll make sure you pay for this.”
At that, I felt the last bit of attraction that I had for her seep out of me. I stared coldly at her. “You come from a wealthy family,” I acknowledged. “But you know that I have far more power and money than you do. Don't try anything stupid.”
Renée glared at me and then finally stomped off, leaving the house blessedly silent.
For a moment, I just stood there, wondering if I should be upset. But as I'd told her, I had never loved her. I hadn't wanted to lose her, but I really only felt numb to the thought of never seeing her again.
I glanced towards the coffee table, where the remnants of her glass glittered in the overhead lights. I'd need to clean that up before Emma came downstairs. I wouldn't want her to get hurt.
Mindlessly, I moved towards the table, using the towel from before to sweep the fragments into the small trash can from behind the bar.
“Andrew?” Lexi said from the doorway, her voice quiet but pitched to carry. “Are you all right?”
I only grunted in response. I wasn't ready to talk to her yet, not about this. I was still trying to wrap my own head around it. And even though I knew it wasn't Lexi's fault that Renée and I had broken up, even though I knew that Renée and I were probably both better off this way, I didn't exactly want to tell Lexi all about that.
Lexi was silent for a minute, but I could feel her gaze still boring into my back.
“Thank you,” she finally said, and this time, I could barely hear her. “Emma and I both had such a good time today at the Children's Museum, and just… Thank you. Thank you for letting us stay here. I know it hasn't been easy on you, and I'm sorry.”
I stared down at the sparkling shards of glass. “Don't be sorry,” I finally sighed. “It's not your fault.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Lexi
“So, how have things been going with you anyway?” Misty asked as we waited at the end of the counter for our salads to be prepared. “I feel like I've hardly seen you since you moved in with Andrew. What's more, I haven't heard from you. You were always so good about calling me, but lately, it's like you disappeared off the face of the planet. Everything's okay, isn't it?”
“Yeah, everything has been good,” I told her, smiling. “I appreciate you worrying about me, but I'd let you know if something was wrong. You know that.”
“I know, I know,” Misty sighed. “What have you been up to anyway? Have you managed to land yourself a job?”
“No job yet,” I said with a frown. “I've actually slowed down on applying for jobs at the moment, until I figure out what Andrew's plan is. We haven't exactly talked about whether this is a long-term solution or not.”
“What do you mean?”
“When we first moved in there, he was dating someone else,” I told her. “They broke up the other day. I don't know if they're broken up for good or if they're one of those couples that breaks up and gets back together every other week. I haven't wanted to ask.”
“Because you're hoping he's single, but you're afraid he's not?” Misty asked, sounding amused.
“No,” I said emphatically, even though I knew she was just teasing. “When we first moved in there, he told me that we could stay until the end of this business trip that he had. Then after that, he was going to find us some other solution. Remember, he mentioned moving us to that nice place downtown? We still haven't talked about that, and I don't know what he's thinking.”
“But even if you keep living with him, you're going to get a job, aren't you?” Misty asked, sounding confused. “You aren't the type of person to just live off his billions, even if he's offering.”
“Of course not,” I said. “But I don't even know where I'm going to be living. That affects where I can apply for jobs since I'm reliant on public transportation. So I've just taken a break for a little while. Besides, it was getting hard to look at rejection email after rejection email every morning.”
“Hmm,” Misty said, but she didn't press the issue. “What have you been up to, if you're not devoting every waking second to the job hunt, then? Exploring the city with Emma?”
“Actually, I've just been following your advice. I've either been at Andrew's house or else doing things with Andrew. I'm letting him get to know Emma, and that seems to be going well for both of them.”
“Spending a lot of time with Andrew, hmm?” Misty asked, waggling her eyebrows at me. “Does that mean I can expect another niece or nephew soon?”
I rolled my eyes. “It's not like that, okay? We're not sleeping together. He's got more than one guest bedroom. We haven't even done anything romantic. He's busy most of the time. All we've done is play some board games with Emma, and the other day we took her to the Children's Museum.” I smiled. “She had a ton of fun.”
“I'd bet she did,” Misty said. “And what about her mama? Did she have fun as well?”
“I did,” I admitted. “It was good seeing Emma that happy. It's been a while since I was able to take her to someplace fun like that. Going to the park is great, but she gets bored with it if we go there too often.”
“Are you hoping to get romantically involved with Andrew?” Misty asked.
“No!” I said, probably too quickly.
Misty's voice gentled. “There's no reason why you couldn't,” she said. “I know you feel like your whole life is in shambles at the moment, but Andrew doesn't seem to mind.”
I sighed. “I don't want to talk about this,” I told her. I frowned, trying to put the reason into words that would make sense to her. “The whole point of this is to make sure that Emma's taken care of. It's not about getting me laid or getting me, I don't know, anything more. I wouldn't feel right going after Andrew, under the circumstances. I wouldn't want to ruin things for Emma.”
“And you think that getting involved with her daddy would ruin things for her?” Misty asked, her eyebrows knitting together.
“What if it didn't work out? Andrew could kick us out, or he could refuse to ever have anything to do with Emma again, or both. I couldn't handle that.”
“Well, even if you're not trying to get back into his bed, there's no reason why the two of you can't be friends,” Misty said, shrugging. “It sounds like you're enjoying his company, at least.”
“Honestly, I'm not sure that I am,” I admitted. I frowned, puzzling it over. It wasn't that I was finding Andrew's company unpleasant, but at the same time, it wasn't as though we were hanging out. It definitely wasn't like that first night together, where we'd chatted about anything and everything. “Every time I've seen him lately, Emma's been there with us,” I slowly told her. “And it's been great, but it hasn't been like Andrew and I are hanging out. I've just enjoyed watching him interact with Emma.”
Misty frowned but nodded. “That makes sense,” she said. “Emma's kind of your buffer.”
“Yeah, exactly. We got into a disagreement at the breakfast table the morning after I arrived there, about those long-term plans, but neither of us wanted to bicker in front of Emma. So we shelved it to come back to later. I feel like that's what's happening with every point of friction between us: we're just kicking it all under the rug at the moment. But if we were going to start a real relationship, if we were going to start to be friends, we'd have to unpack all of that. I'm not ready to do that yet.”
“That's fair,” Misty said. “If you ever need a babysitter for a little while, though, just someone to take Emma off your hands for a little while so that you and Andrew could really talk”–from the way she suggested it, I could tell she wasn't just thinking that we'd talk–“you know where to find me.”
I giggled. “You're really rooting for the two of us, aren't you?”
“He's a handsome billionaire,” Misty said jokingly. “What's not to like?” She grinned at me. “Seriously, though, you know I just want you to be happy.”
“And you think Andrew would make me happy?” I asked, worrying my lower l
ip between my teeth as I thought about it.
Our life the past few weeks hadn't been horrible, that was true. It was definitely a big step up from the way that we had been living. But like Misty had said, I wasn't the kind of woman who was content with living off my husband's paycheck.
As much as I admired stay-at-home-moms and as much as I loved Emma, I wasn't sure that I wanted that for the rest of my life. I'd be much happier working, I was sure. Not that being with Andrew meant that I wouldn't be able to work. I just needed to sort my life out before I got romantically entangled with anyone, Andrew or otherwise.
“It's been kind of nice having more time to spend with Emma, now that I'm not frantically job-searching,” I mused. “Maybe I would make a good stay-at-home-mom.”
Misty laughed. “You'd be bored sick within the month,” she told me. “And what would you do once Emma started going to school? You'd go nuts.”
“You're right,” I sighed.
“I bet you just want to put in more Emma play-hours than Daddy does,” Misty remarked, grinning at me. “You're probably jealous because he's so good at handling her. She'll be Daddy's little princess before you know it.”
I stuck my tongue out at her, but then I frowned. “Do you really think that's going to happen?” I asked. I could almost see the signs of it, now that she had mentioned it.
Misty snorted. “No, I don't think that's going to happen, any more than I think that I'm going to be able to usurp her affections for you,” she said. “It's good to have a lot of different people for Emma to love and model her behavior on, isn't it? What's that saying: it takes a village to raise a kid?”
I smiled tentatively at her. “You're right,” I said. “I should be happy that she and Andrew are so taken with one another. I mean, I am happy that she and Andrew are so taken with one another.”
“Good,” Misty said. “I'm glad everything is going so well for you. I really was worried, you know.”
“I know,” I said. I shook my head. “But enough about me. How have you been? Did you find someone to fill that spare room?”