by Claire Adams
I drove on to Pete’s house, unable to shake the conversation with my sister. It was a relief to get to the ranch and outside of the nest of poisonous thoughts in my head. He was in the barn already, getting the stalls ready for the new horses.
“Morning,” I said.
He looked up from the stall door he was messing with, grinning the way he always did when he saw me coming. “I thought maybe you slept in.”
I laughed at the idea of not being up a few hours before the sun rose. I couldn’t remember ever having done that, not even at school. “I ran by my daddy’s house on the way over, and my sister was up.” I stopped short of telling him what we’d talked about and the things Kasey had said. I wanted to because now it was bothering me something fierce, but I knew I didn’t have anything to worry about. Why get Pete upset for no reason?
“Lacey should be in a little later today with the new horses,” he said.
“I’m so excited to get them out here.”
“Me, too,” he replied. “I’ve got a few things to do in town before she gets in.”
“I’ll finish getting this place ready and hold down the fort until you’re back.”
He stopped to kiss me on his way out, and I closed my eyes to enjoy the clean smell of him. I liked him sweaty, but it was nice just smelling his soap and clean skin.
As soon as he left, I got busy with the horses. They had to be fully groomed today before they went back to their stalls for the night, so I needed to budget my time properly. If Lacey was coming back from Dallas tonight with new animals, I couldn’t depend on her to help work or clean the horses today. I got them out to the corral for feeding and watering, then busied myself with mucking out their stalls. We were a few horses down for the moment, so it didn’t take as long as usual.
On a good day, the hours just melted away in flurry of sweaty activity. Today was one of those days. By the time I groomed the last horse and put him away in his stall for the night, the sun had nearly given up on the day.
I realized with a start that Lacey had never arrived with the new horses. I frowned at the empty stalls I’d prepared. Maybe Pete knew what had happened.
I left the barn, telling the horses goodnight before I slid the alleyway door shut. I ran out to the car to leave my hat in the front seat, leaning into my car to drop it onto the passenger side. I glanced up through the windshield just in time to see Lacey come out of the house with Pete right behind her.
The relieved grin at seeing she was okay froze on my face at what happened next. She turned back to Pete, who took her into his arms and hugged her, pulling her in tight to his body as she buried her head in his chest and put her arms around him. They were swaying together as Pete dropped his chin to kiss the top of Lacey’s head, his lips lingering in her blonde hair.
I sat down hard on the driver’s seat, all the wind knocked out of me watching them clinging to each other. I blinked my burning eyes, refusing to cry over this. Kasey was right. I was the one who didn’t understand what the hell had been going on right in front of my eyes.
I closed the car door, making the lovebirds spring apart on the porch and stare my way. I didn’t wait to hear their goddamned excuses and lies. I just started the engine and drove away.
Chapter Thirty-One
Pete
Tuesday
I took my regular seat on the porch, a mug of cooling coffee in one hand and Riley curled up on the floor. I finished the coffee with no sign of Emma. She’d come late the day before. She must’ve decided to do the same thing today. I’d been sorry to miss her last night. I saw her drive off, but she didn’t stop to say goodbye, which wasn’t like her.
I went in for more coffee, taking it back out onto the porch. I stood at the railing, sipping the hot liquid and looking out over the front of the property line while the sun came up. It was light out and still no Emma. I checked my watch, but I knew by the light what time it was. She was really late.
I went to the barn, getting busy with the horses. She’d kick my ass up one side of the property and down the other if I didn’t keep them on the schedule she’d kept since her second day on the farm. Lacey was out today, too, so it was just me moving the horses to the corral to be fed and watered. I cleaned out the stalls, which I usually only had to do on the weekends when the girls weren’t here. Over the last few weeks, Emma had taken to coming by on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays to help me out, the two of us joking and laughing while we saw to the animals.
Once the horses were out, I saddled up Elroy and took him on a ride around the property, just getting an idea of what needed doing today. I put him back in the corral forty-five minutes later and took the next horse out, riding to the far corner of the property and back. I had to get some of the back field mowed again; we’d had a fair amount of rain during the prior week, and the grass was growing like I hadn’t cut it in weeks.
I took the tractor out there and worked the rest of the day away. Focusing on the field helped, but I couldn’t stop worrying over Emma. It wasn’t like her not to come into work. I hoped she wasn’t sick, but I didn’t want to crowd her. I knew how independent she was and how much it bothered her sometimes that I was both her boss and her boyfriend. I wasn’t sure if I could call as just one without being the other at the same time. I didn’t really care that she’d missed work — if she’d decided to take the day to go hang out in Austin with Kasey, it wouldn’t have bothered me in the least — I just wanted to know she was okay.
By the time the end of the day rolled around, I’d made up my mind to call her if she hadn’t called me already. I didn’t like carrying my cell phone and only kept it on me when I was traveling. She could’ve called me this afternoon, and I never would’ve heard.
I put the horses up, making sure to feed and water them the same way I’d seen Emma do. They were clearly disappointed to see me at the end of the day instead of her, but I didn’t know what to tell them. I was disappointed, too. And worried.
I walked up to the house and went inside to the kitchen. I could plainly see no one had left me a message on the machine. I pressed the button anyway, cursing myself for being a damned fool as I did it. I picked up the phone and dialed her number. No one answered. After a few rings, it went to her answering machine.
“Hey, Emma, it’s Pete. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I missed you today. I’ll see you when you get in tomorrow.” I hesitated, feeling like I should add more, but I didn’t know what. I hung up the phone, not feeling good, but it was what it was.
I went to the fridge for a beer. I already knew I wouldn’t be able to eat much tonight. I went out to sit on the porch. It sure was lonely on this damned farm without the girls. Shit.
I looked down at Riley. He wasn’t much, but he beat nothing at all. “I sure hope Emma’ll be in tomorrow, old boy.”
He raised his head, dark eyes staring up at me, and thumped his tail once.
I reached to scratch his scruffy old head. I hadn’t been this lonely in a long time. I just needed to get a good night’s sleep tonight. Things would look better in the morning after Emma got here.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Emma
Wednesday
I got out of bed at the usual time, showered, and dressed like I was going to the ranch, even though I knew there was no way in hell I could be around Pete and Lacey after what I saw the other day. I didn’t know what would be worse: the two of them pretending like nothing was going on between them or them coming right out with what was happening and expecting me to be okay with it. I didn’t plan to stick around long enough to find out which they’d pick.
I understood that meant things between Pete and I were over and that I’d need to find another job as soon as I could. I had savings — Pete had paid me decent money. I didn’t like losing him or my place on the farm, though. I thought we’d had something special, or at least the beginnings of something special, but the way he was holding Lacey made it crystal clear to me that what I’d thought we had was onl
y special to me. He was in love with Lacey and always had been. I didn’t need to be around that. I couldn’t.
I spent the day working on my own property for once. It was a fraction of what Pete had — even Daddy’s much smaller property made mine look tiny — but it felt good to take my mind off Lacey and Pete on that porch, hugging each other like they were the last two people on Earth. I tilled my tiny garden and planted a few different types of vegetables. I still helped Daddy with his garden, but I didn’t see why I couldn’t have one of my own, as well.
By the time the afternoon ended, I was as sweaty as I always got on the ranch. I went in for a shower in time to hear my phone start ringing. I froze, dreading another call from Pete. I didn’t want to talk to him ever again. He and Lacey could live long happy lives together for all I cared; I just wanted them to leave me the hell alone. But it wasn’t Pete. It was Jack.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Emma, how are you?” he asked. Just hearing his voice made me feel a little better. I hadn’t told anyone what I saw. I was sure I’d tell Kasey eventually, but it was just too painful right now.
“I’m good, Jack. How are you?”
“I can’t complain.”
“Are you in town?” I asked.
“I am, actually. I wanted to see if you were free for dinner tonight?”
I hadn’t planned to do much more tonight than wallow in a pool of self-pity, but getting out of the house would be healthier. And, I needed to eat. I agreed to meet him at our regular place in an hour.
I jumped in the shower, washing away the day’s hard work, and got dressed, not putting on anything special, just a sundress and some sandals, same as I’d wear around the house on the weekend if I didn’t have work to do. The diner wasn’t dressy, and Jack didn’t expect much. I didn’t even bother with drying my hair, just pulled it back into a ponytail and got on my way.
I drove into town and over to the diner, parking in one of the empty spaces. Jack was already there, sitting in our booth. I went over to join him, smiling just to see him waiting for me.
“Damn, did you jump right out of the shower?” he asked, grinning.
“I sure did,” I answered with a smile.
The waitress came to take our drink orders, but we knew what we wanted to eat, so we just ordered everything, Jack getting the meatloaf this time and me getting still getting the burger. You couldn’t go wrong with a classic.
“How’ve you been, Em?” he asked, aiming that boyish smile at me again.
I didn’t want to hold it in anymore. I trusted Kasey with everything, but she tended to get so dramatic. I just wanted to tell someone who wouldn’t take things further than I wanted them to go. I didn’t need tears and expletives. I just needed someone to listen.
“Pete and I are having some problems,” I said, sighing deeply. That wasn’t really the right way to describe it, but I couldn’t come right out with exactly what I wanted to say without easing into it.
Jack’s face clouded over, his smile dimming and dark eyes widening. “What’s going on?”
I looked down at my nails. They were short, trimmed, and bare. “There’s another woman who works on the ranch with us. Lacey.” I met his eyes again. Just thinking about all this was getting me angry, and it was easier to feel that way in front of Jack than it was to feel like I was going to burst into tears.
“They both told me they were like brother and sister. And, that’s how it looked to me too until the other day.” I described what I’d seen through the windshield of my car after I finished working for the day: Lacey in Pete’s arms, both of them swaying on the porch like it was the sweetest moment in the world. It burned me up just thinking about it.
I’d trusted Pete. I let him into my life and allowed him to meet Daddy and Kasey, and he went and did something like this. I wouldn’t mind if I never saw him again. I knew that wasn’t realistic in a town the size of Round Rock — and there was no way I was letting a man run me out of my own town — but at the very least, I could steer clear of him for a few days.
“I’m so sorry, Em,” Jack said. He reached across the table to take my hand, squeezing it. “Are you sure they’re together?”
“That’s what it looked like from where I was sitting. They obviously have feelings for each other.” I scrunched my face up to keep my burning eyes from tearing. “There’s nothing wrong with it if they do. I just wish Pete had let me know before I got mixed up with him.”
Before Jack could answer, the waitress came by with our drinks and let us know our food would be out shortly. I took a sip of my iced tea while Jack stirred his Coke.
“Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean they have feelings for each other,” he said finally.
I shrugged, not interested in arguing.
“Remember Amy Benson?” he asked.
I looked up at him. “The girl you were dating senior year?”
He nodded.
“Yeah, I remember her. She was nice, I guess. Y’all aren’t still dating are you?” I knew they’d gone off to school in Dallas together, but I hadn’t heard much from Jack since. I hadn’t thought about Amy in years.
“No, we broke up about a year after we moved.” He grinned and waved a hand like it didn’t matter much to him. “But I bet you never knew that Amy absolutely hated your goddamned guts.”
I frowned hard, my eyebrows pulling down sharply. “What? Why? Did I do something to her I don’t remember?” I couldn’t think why that girl would’ve hated me.
“She didn’t like how close we were. I told her all the same things you just said Pete and Lacey told you — that we were friends and more like brother and sister after growing up together for years.”
“Well, that was true!” Jack and I had never once had feelings for each other.
He nodded, smiling a little, his dark eyes shining. “I know it was. And that’s what I told her, but she was jealous anyway. It really started to eat at her.”
The waitress came by again, this time with our food, setting down Jack’s meatloaf and mashed potatoes and then my burger and fries.
“Remember that day we drove to Austin for that concert?” he asked.
I nodded, smiling before sticking a French fry into my mouth. That had been one hell of a day.
“Well, when I got home that night, Amy came over and was mad as hell. She accused me of picking you over her and said she was going to break up with me if I didn’t make some hard choices right then and there.”
He watched me for a moment, not even touching his food, which wasn’t like him. “I didn’t know what to say. I loved Amy, or I thought I did at the time. So, when she asked me to choose, I picked her. I knew you’d be there for me no matter what, but I was afraid to lose her.”
“Goddamn, Jack, I wish you would’ve told me.” That explained a lot about why we didn’t have much to do with each other after graduation.
“I’m only telling you now so you’ll talk to Pete about all this before you do anything else. Just get the story from his side. We never had feelings for each other and look what happened.” He stuck a fork in his meatloaf and scooped a big hunk into his mouth.
“Yeah, I know we didn’t,” I said with a sigh. But none of that changed what I’d seen the other day with my own eyes. I didn’t know how Pete could explain that away. He loved Lacey, and I’d been a fool to think otherwise.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Pete
Friday
I couldn’t sit still that morning. I went out to the porch and paced, walking up one side and down the other while Riley slept on, unaware. Emma hadn’t been to the farm all week, hadn’t answered my calls, and hadn’t been anywhere around town. I didn’t know what to do. She had to be pissed at me something fierce, but I didn’t know why. Had I said or done something stupid at her daddy’s house? She’d said things had gone well when she drove me home. I didn’t understand it.
I had to get the fuck off the farm. I jumped in my truck and drove out to the Texa
n, just wanting to put my mind on something else. The old timers called me over to their table, and I went gratefully.
“Hey, Petey,” Big Tom said. “Where’s that sweet girl of yours?”
I waited for the waitress to set my mug down, fill it with coffee, and be on her way before I answered.
“I haven’t seen much of Emma lately,” I said, looking around at all of them, just feeling so goddamned lost. “I don’t know what happened. She just stopped turning up at work and stopped taking my calls.”
“What did you do?” Laraby asked, smiling a little as the other men chuckled.
“I don’t think I did anything,” I replied. “Things were going great between us and then she just stopped showing up at the ranch.” I shook my head as I rubbed the back of my neck. I felt better getting some of this off my chest, even if it really wasn’t helping me figure out how to solve this Emma problem.
“You love her though, right?” Tex asked.
I nodded, sighing as I answered. “Yeah, I do. I just don’t know what happened.”
“Relationships aren’t all sunshine and roses,” Big Tom said, leaning over onto his elbows on the table and staring hard at me. “You have to work at them to make them successful.”
I took a sip of my coffee, not really wanting it, but just needing the time to think through this. When the waitress wandered over to take breakfast orders, I asked for toast and nothing else. I hadn’t been very hungry lately. Emma not being around had twisted most of the desire to do much of anything right out of me.
“Women aren’t easy to figure out,” Laraby said. “I’m still trying with my wife, and it’s been close to fifty years.”
The table erupted with laughter, a few of the men pounding on the table with their open hands and making our mugs of coffee jump. I couldn’t help but smile.
“The important thing is to try,” Big Tom said. “Emma seems like a straight shooter. If she’s upset, it’s probably because you did some dumbass thing that you might not have even realized you were doing at the time.”