by Jan Springer
“The baby is coming,” she whispered.
Fear twisted through her like a knife. She didn’t want the baby to fall out and hit the floor. Instincts told her to lay down and push. Now!
Brady must have sensed something too, for he lifted her easily into his arms and brought her into her room. She barely noticed how nice and warm it was in here compared to the coolness of the hallway. Barely noted the cheerful fire flickering in the hearth, the dim lit candles on a couple of shelves on her walls. The bed sheets had been changed too and she suspected the mattress turned over as the bed was warm as she climbed in. Everything looked so orderly, as if she hadn’t been in here earlier freaking out because the baby was coming much faster than any of them had anticipated.
Yet nothing was in order. Her thoughts were in chaos, but thankfully her instincts were taking over. She went with them.
“I need to push,” she gasped. “I’m scared, Brady.”
“I know you are. Me too,” he confessed as he sat on the edge of the bed beside her. He took her hands into his and began that sweet massage with his fingers that he had done earlier. Too bad his technique just wasn’t working this time around.
That he was scared too was not what she wanted to hear at this moment. She needed her man strong and confident. And he had been. Until just this second when she realized he looked tired and concerned and he had new worry lines etching the sides of his mouth. Why hadn’t she noticed those new lines before now?
Sympathy washed over her.
“Brady, I am so sorry to stress you out,” she ground out between the spasms of pain.
Brady cursed softly, and he suddenly looked pissed off.
“No, hell, no. You are not stressing me, sweetness. Not at all. We’re just not used to this baby making stuff. We’ll be fine. We’ll get used to it.”
JJ tensed.
What? What did you mean by we’ll get used to it? No way in hell am I going to do this again.
The urge to push just about overwhelmed her. She couldn’t wait any longer.
“The baby is coming. I need to push, Brady.”
“Hold off pushing for just a sec. I’m going to take a look? Brady suddenly said.
“Oh no you’re not. Everybody out. Let me check on my patient,” came Layla’s stern voice as she suddenly hurried into JJ’s bedroom with Rafe and Dan trailing her. She carried one of those black doctor bags and each of the guys carried a couple of large plastic bags filled with who knew what.
Layla instructed the men to place the bags onto the floor near the fireplace.
JJ wasn’t sure if she was glad to see Layla, or be pissed off that she dare order her men out of her bedroom. But right now was not the time to dwell on it because like it or not, her baby was coming out!
“This was so not how I had envisioned the arrival of the baby,” Rafe muttered as he stood beside Brady and Dan out in the hallway. Upon Layla’s arrival and ordering them out, he suddenly felt like an intruder in his own home. Had it come down to it, he would have delivered the baby himself and truth be told he was a bit irritated that Layla had told him she wouldn’t need all the boiled utensils that had been prepared. She’d brought her own sterilized instruments.
Huh, he had brought Blue’s baby into the world without much of a problem. He could have done the same for JJ.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like Layla. He did like her. Well, kind of. She was a serious lady and he might even call her a bit of a bitch, especially when he’d asked her plenty of questions about her training and experience upon their first meeting. She hadn’t seemed to like questions about her past life before her schooling as a midwife. But he reserved judgement because he didn’t know her well enough to put that label of bitch firmly on her. He felt sure that by morning he would know if she was one or not.
The instant he’d seen her a couple of months ago, when JJ had decided she wanted Layla as a midwife, based solely on references from the women pilots at North Country Air, Rafe had thought the woman was way too young. He would have preferred someone in their fifties, not someone who looked like she was in her mid-twenties, although she had reassured him that she was of age and quite capable of taking care of JJ through her labor.
He’d drilled Layla on her labor experience and she’d said she was registered at the College of Midwives of Ontario after doing a four-year stint at Ryerson University. He’d called both places just to make sure she was legit. They confirmed she had attended Ryerson and graduated their Ontario Midwifery Education Programme with honors and she was registered at the CMO. Her references checked out and she appeared to have plenty of work experience and—
Another cry from JJ sliced into Rafe. It felt as if a knife was twisting through his gut. Man, he didn’t like this feeling of worry and empathy for her. He felt bad. Beside him, Brady cursed, and Dan mumbled something about needing a coffee. But Dan didn’t make a move to head down to the kitchen to make some.
“How the hell long does it take for her to check on her patient?” Rafe asked. He swore he would give the woman five more minutes and then he was going in! He looked at his wristwatch. Only two thirty. It felt as if JJ had been in labor for days not just a little over three hours. Or was it under three hours? He couldn’t remember. Couldn’t think straight.
Could only remember the shock and fear shooting through him when he’d heard JJ cry out in the middle of the night, rocking him from his sleep and then finding her panting up a storm in her bed as she struggled to get up.
“It’s only been a few minutes, Rafe. You gotta, relax,” Dan said.
“Who the hell can relax?” Rafe replied. He wanted to jump out the nearest window and run away, so he wouldn’t have to hear JJ’s cries of pain.
Brady was remaining very quiet as he stood in front of the closed door staring at the doorknob. He could just imagine what the man was thinking. Either that doorknob turns now or I’m going in with both guns blazing.
Hell, that’s what he was thinking.
Another cry came from JJ. Rafe gasped. Dan tensed. Brady’s hand went for that doorknob.
“Easy, Brady,” Dan said as he gently settled a hand on Brady’s wrist.
“Give the midwife some space,” Dan continued. “She must be one tough chick to be able to fly through a wild windstorm with all that snow blowing out there. I’m surprised she saw the runway at all, so I don’t think a baby coming into the world is going to faze her. She wouldn’t be a midwife if she didn’t know what to do and didn’t at least like her job, right?”
Brady nodded solemnly. His stern gaze did not move from that doorknob.
Yep, he was too quiet.
“What if something is wrong with JJ? What if something is wrong with the baby?” Brady suddenly asked in a voice that was drenched with apprehension.
Shit. Brady was thinking the same thing as he was? Oh man, he didn’t want his friend to have all this worry.
“Hey, man. Don’t do the what if scenario. That’s your worst enemy right now,” Rafe reassured. He wanted his friend to be happy. Joyful at this blessed miraculous time. This was supposed to be a happy time, wasn’t it?
“Rafe’s right,” Dan replied. “We need to send in positive vibes to both JJ and the baby, so they can feel our love.”
“We need to get in there and then they can feel our love,” Brady snapped.
Suddenly the door burst open and the midwife stood there. She was removing purple surgical gloves and there was a stethoscope draped around her neck. She had removed her coat, and wore what looked like green scrubs. She was a short lady with too much wind-tangled dark brown hair and yep, she still looked like a kid. Too young for this kind of job.
She didn’t appear the least bit stressed or worried and Rafe wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not. Over confidence in any kind of job could be an enemy just as much as the what if something bad happens scenarios running through all their heads.
“She’s doing good. Both her and the baby’s vitals are good. JJ’s blood p
ressure is just a bit too high, but that’s expected. I also gave her a shot of sterile water into her back for her pain and she’s got a Tens machine on her back for muscle spasms. She turned down an epidural, so I gave her some tips about dealing with the pain.
The baby is almost here. JJ said you men did a fine job in keeping her walking and the room warm and the bed clean. She wants all of you in here with her. Now, before you go inside, I want to make sure none of you are the passing out cold kind of men? And that you don’t drop at the first sign of blood? I don’t need to be stepping over bodies while I’m working.”
She lifted her eyebrows and looked at Brady and then at Dan and then at himself. At first, he thought he sensed some sparkle of humor in her dark brown eyes, but then he realized she was deadly serious.
Are you fucking kidding us? We run a freaking ranch. We don’t fold at a birth or at the first sign of blood.
“They’ll be fine,” Brady growled as he brushed past Layla and entered the bedroom.
Rafe had expected the midwife to be a bit ticked off at Brady for being so pushy, but she just smiled at Rafe and Dan, stepped aside and waved her hand in a gesture for them to enter.
Okay, so maybe she wasn’t a bitch after all, Rafe thought as he followed Dan inside. He was kind of glad she was here. Took some of the pressure off.
“Hey, pretty lady, how are you feeling?”
Brady’s soft voice snapped through JJ’s wail of pain and she wanted to ask him how the hell did he think she was feeling while she was giving birth to a huge bowling ball. At least that’s what if felt like. But she reined in her nastiness. Being a bad-mouthing mom was not the first thing she wanted her baby to hear.
She kept her eyes closed, blew out her breaths just like Layla had instructed and reached out a hand to Brady. When he curled his warm fingers around hers, she inhaled at his strength. It made her feel better. A bit, anyways.
“Are the guys here?” she asked. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t want to open her eyes. She just wanted to melt into the pain. Live with it. Use it to her advantage and visualize the baby struggling to get out of her.
Help the baby by relaxing as best you can, Layla had said. Let the pain guide the baby out. The pain is normal. Your fear. Your anxiety. All normal.
It is all normal, Layla had said. But it sure didn’t feel like it.
“We’re here,” came Dan and Rafe’s answers.
She smiled. She wanted them here with her. They were her family and they all made her feel safe and loved.
“So, which one of you can give me a hand? Rafe? You said during our first meeting that you and JJ delivered a baby once. Can you assist me?” Layla suddenly asked.
“I’ll do it,” JJ heard Rafe reply as the pain continued to melt all around her. Oh, Lord, she was drowning in it.
“Okay, I’ve got her in position,” Layla was saying. “All I want you to do, Rafe, is hand me what I ask for, okay? But first you need to wash your hands, then slip on a pair of gloves just like I am doing now, okay?”
“Yep, no problem.” Rafe’s voice sounded strong and confident.
Thank you, God, for bringing me such strong men into my life.
“Everything we need is right there on the little table I brought with me,” Layla continued.
“Brady, stay with JJ. Guide her threw her pain. Dan, I want you to please bring me a mug of coffee. I smelled it on my way in, but my patients always come first. Now that I know Jennifer Jane and the baby are fine, I can have a cup. Steaming and just black, please, because I sure could use one, okay? And make it fast, the baby is almost here.”
“I’m on it,” Dan said. Then it grew quiet in the bedroom. All JJ could hear was Brady’s quick breathing from beside her, the howling wind outside, the snow peppering the window panes and water gushing out of the faucet in the adjoining bathroom.
And herself whimpering because of the pain.
The mattress by her feet moved and she the sheets over her legs lifted.
“Wonderful,” Layla whispered in a loving and reassuring voice that made JJ glad of her decision in having her as her midwife.
“Everything is going along perfectly, Jennifer Jane. Now I want you to start pushing when I say, and I want you to stop when I say, got it?”
JJ nodded. Despite the wave after wave of emotions that overwhelmed her and mingled with the pain, she began to sob. She just couldn’t help herself. Her baby was almost here! But when Layla told her to push, JJ did exactly what she was told to do.
Dan’s hands shook like a son of a bitch as he poured a steaming cup of black coffee for Layla. Awhile earlier, just before he’d gone down to place the lamps on the runway for her, he’d put on a fresh pot of coffee. Usually the scent of coffee was welcome but this time, it didn’t lift his spirits at all, especially when he could hear JJ’s cries trail down the stairs and wrap around his neck like a hangman’s noose.
The baby would be here soon, and he was a nervous wreck. How were they going to deal with having a baby around the ranch?
Oh boy, what was he thinking? They could deal with well over a thousand herd of Angus beef with barely a problem and he was afraid of a little itty bitty baby? Lack of sleep did that to him. Made him think stupid thoughts.
He grabbed the coffee for Layla and headed for the stairs. Just as he reached the top, he heard nothing. There was utter and complete silence.
Oh, oh. Silence was not a good thing, was it? With dread swirling around Dan, he hurried forward and then breathed a sigh of relief as he entered the bedroom.
Layla sat on the bed, hunkered between JJ’s thighs, a sheet hiding JJ’s lifted legs from his view. Rafe sat on a chair beside the bed handing Layla a towel and Brady sat stiff as a board, his face pale as a ghost as he spoke softly to JJ, who lay with her eyes scrunched up tight. She clutched both of Brady’s hands, her knuckles just as white as Brady’s face. Perspiration matted her bangs, her neck and her chest and her face was red.
“Okay, JJ, one more push. Just one more…and we have her! She’s out and she looks wonderful. Brady, would you like to do the honors of cutting the cord?”
Her. A girl. We have a baby girl!
“You have a baby girl,” Layla announced cheerfully. Her announcement stunned JJ as she stared up at Brady. He had a look she’d never seen before on his face as he stared down to where he had just placed her baby on JJ’s chest.
“She’s beautiful,” she heard Rafe whisper as he came around and gazed down at her and the baby.
“She looks like her mamma,” Dan said and threw JJ a wink.
Everything seemed surreal. It had all happened so fast. One minute she’d been told to push and the next minute Layla and Rafe were cleaning the baby and then handing her to Brady who had laid her on her chest.
And they were right. She was so beautiful. Perfect. She looked as sweet as a cherub, and as cute as a Christmas angel.
Emotions bombarded JJ and she just couldn’t stop staring at her, nor could she stop hugging her.
Chapter Seven
“I’ve never felt this way before,” Brady said in a hushed tone.
The two of them lay in Rafe’s bed where Brady had carried her and the baby while the guys and Layla freshened everything up in her room.
Their daughter, who lay on JJ’s chest, was wiggling around and making sweet little cooing noises. Layla had already shown JJ how to feed her, but the baby hadn’t taken to her nipple yet. But Layla assured her that she would. In the meantime, there was a breast pump all ready to go on the nearby table, and sterilized bottles, if needed.
Laughter from downstairs rolled through the open doorway. Rafe and Dan had eventually taken Layla downstairs for another cup of coffee and JJ hoped they would feed her too. They’d promised to come back up a bit later, but JJ sensed they were giving Brady, herself, and their baby a little bonding time.
“I’ve never felt this way before either,” JJ whispered as she watched her baby. Her heart twisted with so much love, that she
wasn’t sure she could handle the depth of this new emotion and darn it, she wanted to cry again.
Her daughter was just so adorable. She already had her blue eyes open and she was looking around. JJ touched the tip of her finger to her small button nose. Then stroked along her velvety-soft chin and up along her bottom lip. The baby made a little suckling motion with her sweet mouth.
Emotions bubbled thick and raw and JJ fought back another round of tears that seemed to be her constant companion since giving birth.
“Perfect nose. Sweet pink lips. Tiny little fingers. Man, I haven’t seen such tiny little fingers before,” Brady murmured as he slid his finger against their baby’s palm.
To JJ’s surprise the baby clutched his finger.
“She’s got quite the grip!” Brady laughed and tried to pull his finger away, but she just held on tighter.
“Already daddy’s sweet girl,” JJ said softly.
“Have we decided on a name?” he asked. “I know we talked about it being our mothers’ names…”
JJ shook her head. “Suddenly all the names we were thinking just don’t fit her.”
Brady chuckled.
“I was thinking the same thing. What does she look like to you?” he asked and the instant he asked the question, she knew.
“Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you too, sweetie,” he said. He leaned over and kissed her so delicately on her cheek that she swore her toes tingled.
“I mean she looks like Christmas. Her name. Chrissy for short.”
When Brady didn’t say anything, she gazed at him. There was a cute little tilt to his head as he studied Christmas. She really hoped he would go with that name.
“Christmas angel. Christmas miracle. Christmas Jane. C.J. for short,” he said.
Oh my gosh, Christmas Jane. The names fit.
“Christmas Jane. C.J. for short. But will she have a problem being named after a winter holiday?” JJ asked as a niggle of doubt suddenly crept in about the name.