It is truly tragic that our Queens have been regimented into such madness. I know we’ve always accepted it, but when you know the woman who must force her body into that horrible heavy dress, it comes home to you what the others have suffered – and why? We’re no longer primitive people who need a Queen who frightens potential conquerors away, yet we cling to this foolish tradition that degrades and debases our Queens.
Of course I will be with you when you turn fifty! As if I would ever let you celebrate a birthday alone. It’s still a couple of months away and I’m afraid I’m very much tied down here for some weeks yet. Sana is under the weather and I am doing double duty at Shadows Academy. Once this term has ended, I will arrange it so that I am no longer over-committed. Come what may, I will be with you on the shortest day of the year.
Give my love to Katrin. I will write to her directly, but not for a day or so – things are that frenetic. Perhaps you and she could arrange to come to The Shadows now that she’s so much better. I know Hemmett, in particular, would love a reason to be back here. I am otherwise sworn to secrecy and must say no more, lest I brave his wrath.
And now the bell is ringing (yes, the headmistress is spending her work hours writing letters to her man) and I must be off. I miss you so very much.
Your Eiren
P.S. I am in complete agreement with Katrin about your hair. Now that she’s broken the ice, I will join in the chorus – bring my handsome man’s hair back! It is most unpleasant consorting with a bristly manquar!
Menders laughed aloud and folded the letter into his pocket, giving his short-cropped hair a self-conscious rub.
“She’s leaving out something,” Hemmett said seriously, turning toward him. “Her sister isn’t doing well. Seems melancholia is the order of the day, but not like Katrin and Granddad had it. In fact, I think it comes up at convenient times, so Eiren will take over and look after children, housework and the like.”
“Damn!” Menders looked out over The Promenade. “I wish she’d told me.”
“She’ll sort it out,” Hemmett replied. “She’s beginning to understand how to balance her responsibilities to her family. She’s fallen into being the one who provides all the care and who is expected to sacrifice herself the most, mainly because she hasn’t had children. It happens to Sana too, but she’s less likely to tolerate being taken advantage of. You know how Eiren tends to put herself last.”
“I do indeed,” Menders sighed. “It hasn’t served her well, considering the life I’ve had to lead.”
“Granddad feels that way too. He already blames himself for Eiren staying there so long when she could be here with you. Even if she wanted to stay on at the school full time, which I doubt, she could get over here more often if she didn’t have one after another getting some illness or another.”
“Hopefully this will all change now,” Menders said, smiling to himself.
“Looks that way. Do you really think Katrin can implement all the changes she’s planning?” Hemmett asked, leaning back against the balustrade.
“Yes, in time. Being Katrin, she wants to do it all at once. That’s understandable in this first rush of energy. She’ll pace herself as she gets accustomed to being well again. You know how she is.”
“Oh yes,” Hemmett grinned. “How is Borsen? I thought of stopping by on my way up from the boat but decided to wait until evening so Stevahn would be home.”
“Doing well, coming back day by day. Still angry that he’s having to eat all that soft stuff, but Franz will take him off that soon, he says. He seems very peaceful otherwise. He stays in bed with his sketchbooks and pencils. He’s wild to design new clothing for Katrin and is probably madly drawing away at that.”
“Good for him. Tough little mate,” Hemmett said, blowing a smoke ring.
“Indeed he is,” Menders smiled. He wasn’t about to voice it, but his joy over having Borsen still with them was sometimes overwhelming. The circle of his acquired family was not broken – thank the gods, should there be any.
“Best get back to the New Mordania,” Hemmett said, dropping his cigar end and grinding it out with his heel. “Sounds like it’ll be a nice place.”
“It does indeed,” Menders agreed.
***
Dearest Lorein, my lovely wife,
Katrin’s better. I’m completely gamfoozled over it, but apparently something she saw shocked her out of the melancholia. Came running to the door when I came in, jumping all around, yakking on about how she’s going to change Mordania and make all kinds of things better.
Menders is fearful that it won’t last and she’ll be back to the melancholia in a day or two, but in many ways I know Katrin better than he does. She’s back. She’s changed a bit. There’s no way anyone could go through what she has and still be the same, but she’s not going to be sick again. She’s far too busy, and has some wonderful ideas.
I’ve kept quiet about our marriage because I’m enjoying having it to myself. I’m happy about Katrin, of course, but there’s that deeper happiness of knowing about us. I’m not willing to share it round yet. When you’re here in a few days we can tell everyone together.
Katrin says she wants to gather a Court. The Palace has been practically empty since she came here and we got rid of those freaks that hung around Aidelia. Katrin says she wants intelligent, cultured and forward-seeing people. That reminded me of a certain lady I know. I wondered if she would be interested?
Would you be? You’re exactly the sort of person Katrin wants. She’d be likely to make you a lady in waiting, though she does for herself and would continue to do so. You wouldn’t have to dress her or any of that nonsense, but be a friend and companion. You wouldn’t live at The Palace. I’ve been in our townhouse since I came home with Flori. I still have a room in Katrin’s suite if I need to stay overnight for a guard shift, and I keep extra uniforms in there in case Vil spills coffee on me, but home is down the street.
I know we talked about all kinds of possibilities before I left, and I never expected to come back and find Katrin well again. So, I’m not dismissing the possibility of resigning my posting and teaching at the Military Academy fulltime. I just wanted to let you know what is going on, and say that if you would like to try, I could remain here and you could be part of the new Court. Either way is fine with me, so long as we’re together.
Write to me soon. I’m missing you so very much.
Love you, my darling,
Hemmett
Darling Hemmett,
I was so happy to have your letter this morning! I was also very glad to hear of Katrin’s recovery. It was tragic even thinking about her being so unlike her old self and knowing she was so unhappy.
Hemmett, I will be delighted to live in Erdahn with such new ideas coming into being. It’s exciting to consider and so much what this nation needs. What I would love most would be living with you, wherever you are.
I understand how devoted you are to Katrin and that you would like to stay at Court now the situation has changed so much for the better. I could not be more pleased. I am not a jealous sort – except back in the day when my friend Rivka and I used to pull each others’ pigtails when we argued over who would marry you! I must seek her out and strut in front of her – actually, she married a pudgy merchant some years back, has three babies and has probably forgotten all about beautiful Captain Hemmett and our great rivalry over him.
You know Mamma and Pappa were thrilled with our runaway match and their dashing and handsome son-in-law – and they have managed not to look utterly relieved about not having to plan a great do involving a dress that looks interesting from the back. As a wedding gift, Pappa has given us the money he would have spent on a big wedding, to do as we like with. They have always been such comfortable parents! They’re anxious to have Flori come and visit them. Mamma was enchanted with her at the funeral reception and already talks on about her granddaughter! I’m so very happy things are turning out so well!
Hemmett, there
is truly no way that I can really tell yet, but I am very sure our child is already on the way. I feel changed in an essential way and it isn’t only from knowing that we’re going to be together forever. My body feels different, more alive. I asked Mamna about it but she couldn’t say for sure, it’s so early. She said if I am pregnant, I will feel a lot less alive when the morning sickness starts! But this morning when I was dressing, a necklace I wore two weeks ago was far too tight. I said something about it to our cook, who said that’s one of the first signs – something about increased circulation and the veins in the neck! Another couple of weeks and we’ll see!
I miss you so much. I will be with you at the end of the week! Kaymar has been having all my doodads and fandidingles (see, I’m learning to speak Hemmett and will gamfoozle you with my expertise!) hauled over to the steam launch so I can bob across the briny in your direction.
All my love,
Lorein
TO: EIREN
FROM: BRISTLY MANQUAR
HAVE CANVASSED ALL AVAILABLE PARTIES HERE AND THE CONSENSUS IS THAT I AM BY NO MEANS A HANDSOME MAN. SUGGEST YOU STOP BY OCULIST TO HAVE EYES EXAMINED. AM NOT YET GROWING HAIR OUT BUT HOPE TO DIMINISH BRISTLINESS IN NEAR FUTURE ONCE NEED FOR BRISTLY APPEARANCE IS GONE. KATIN HOPES WE CAN COME OUT TO THE SHADOWS IN ANOTHER WEEK TO TWO WEEKS AFTER SOME OFFICIAL BUSINESS IS DONE HERE. SHE CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU AND NEITHER CAN I.
TO: MISTER MANQUAR
FROM: MISTRESS MANQUAR
DESPITE CANVASS I DECLARE YOU A VERY HANDSOME MAN AND SUGGEST THAT THOSE IN ERDAHN HAVE BECOME JADED WITH CITY LIVING IF THEY CANT SEE IT. YOUTH IS ALWAYS BLIND. LET US KNOW WHENEVER IT IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO COME AND IF MY SCHEDULE CLEARS I WILL POP OVER EVEN IF ONLY FOR THE DAY. KISSES TO KATRIN, HEMMETT AND BORSEN AND SAVE SOME FOR YOURSELF.
The Palace, Erdahn, Mordania
15
Light Of The Winter Sun
“W
e have to be very careful, Katrin,” Menders said, looking at her across the table. “I know it seems most logical to have you command that the production of Thermaline bombs be stopped. In a sane world, you would do that, and the problem would be solved.”
“Unfortunately, it’s not a sane world,” Hemmett added. “These men – and the people behind them – would not take kindly to such a command. We don’t know everyone who was behind Aidelia killing your mother, but it’s possible these war profiteers were involved. They would think nothing of having you killed.”
Katrin looked pensive and ground her teeth for a moment.
“I understand,” she said, finally. “Along with that, the fact that I’ve been docile for so long has set a precedent with them. They expect no trouble from me.”
“In many ways that’s to your advantage,” Kaymar responded.
It was the first time he’d spoken since the meeting began. Menders had asked him, along with Ifor, Hemmett, Villison and several of Menders’ Men to sit down and discuss options for stopping the production of Thermaline weapons. Katrin hadn’t seen him in a very long while, and then only at a distance. He and Ifor had been spending long periods of time abroad, doing surveillance work, gathering information and acting as diplomats for Mordania.
“Tell me how,” Katrin invited. “This is all new to me.”
Kaymar nodded and smiled slightly.
“They’re used to you not being involved,” he replied. “They know they will have their way whether you like it or not. At this point, essentially, you don’t exist. If you play your cards right – if you don’t rush off half-cocked and tip your hand, suddenly seizing command could work to your benefit, because they would never see you coming.”
Katrin looked at Menders, who kept his face impassive.
“You would have to have sufficient protection and support,” Ifor added, smiling at Katrin. “You can’t just stride in there as the bold girl and demand that they stop doing something that makes them very, very rich.”
“No, that would spell disaster.” Kaymar took up the thread. “Doing just that got your mother killed. After years of being completely ineffectual, she ran into a situation where she felt she had to take command. She tried to replace Aidelia with you – and she tried to have a character who called himself Prince Talbreth eliminated, because he had complete power over Aidelia, to say nothing of much of the Council.”
“I remember him! He was a disgusting man!” Katrin gasped.
“Very much so. Years before, under the name of Therbalt, he sent all those assassins after the family, including DeLarco the Surelian.” Kaymar looked levelly at her across the table.
Katrin knit her brows for a moment and then looked disgusted.
“His clever alias is switching the letters of his name around?” she said with a snort.
“It works. He manages to change his appearance effectively – and he makes sure that he is never seen or known by everyone he’s manipulating. We’ve been after him for ages now, ever since we realized he’s the same man behind your mother’s murder. He’s gone to ground and no amount of digging around has stirred him up. He did that before, after we missed him with bombs we planted in his Surelian townhouse right after DeLarco nearly killed me. He seems a fool – but he isn’t. That’s the most dangerous sort to combat. It’s easy to become lulled into thinking it will be a simple matter to eliminate him.”
“It’s a matter of gathering as much information as we can, mustering support and being very careful in how we proceed,” Menders chimed in. “It’s the hard part of ruling, Katrin.”
“What can I do now?” she asked.
“Consider what we’ve talked about. Read the information we will be passing on to you. If any ideas occur to you, let us know,” Menders replied.
“Concentrate on getting well,” Kaymar added, looking directly at her. “You aren’t, not by a long shot. Take it from one who knows.”
“All right then, unless someone wishes to add to the discussion, we’ve covered everything we’re here for today,” Menders said. There was a general rustling and movement as the members of the meeting put their papers and notes together, chatting freely with each other.
Katrin made her way around the table to where Kaymar and Ifor were talking in low tones. She waited for them to finish.
Kaymar looked around and noticed her. Ifor turned, smiled and hugged her close.
“So glad to see you doing so well,” he rumbled.
When he released her, Kaymar offered a hand, then leaned forward and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek.
“You hearken to what I said,” he murmured, his voice warm though his face was impassive. “Lots of rest and sleep, good food and plenty of exercise. Keep your mind occupied and stay off the grog.”
“I wanted to ask you – I’m afraid of the melancholia coming back,” Katrin began.
“It might. If it does, fight. If you start feeling numb or listless, fight it, don’t just sit there. You can’t always turn it around, but sometimes it helps. If you get into that trap where you can sit there for hours thinking about how you’re going to walk across the room, you’re in trouble.”
“Thank you – I’m having dinner in my suite for the family, those who can come. Hemmett and Flori, Vil, Petra, Varnia and Menders, of course. Please come join us,” Katrin asked.
“I’m sorry, my dear, but we’re on our way right now to catch the evening ship to Artreya,” Kaymar said smoothly. “Going over there to keep an eye on the situation now that this Thermaline bomb has been tested.”
“Is there danger?”
“Always, with Artreya, but no imminent danger, so rest easy,” Ifor said. “Can we be asked to dinner another time?”
“Of course!” Katrin smiled.
She watched as they began to leave – then stepped forward.
“Kaymar!”
Both of them turned, Ifor looking troubled, Kaymar showing no emotion, his face a smooth, still mask.
“I’m sorry, I must speak to you for a moment,” she said apologetically.
“I’ll go ahead,” Ifor said. “I’ll hold the boat if necessary. But hurry, Kip.” He strode over to Menders, speaking with him briefly before going out the door.
“Can it go in a letter?” Kaymar asked.
“No – please.”
“What is it?” He stepped close, pulling her back toward a niche that held a bust of one of Mordania’s Queens.
“Kaymar – if the melancholia begins to come back, would cutting myself as you do keep it away?” she asked bluntly.
He blinked. Then his face grew less impervious.
“No, Katrin. I use that for the other side of my madness, which I don’t believe you have. The side where I can’t sleep for days on end, where the voices in my head are giving me no peace and where I’m consumed with fear or anger and feel the only solution to everything is to… let’s just say commit mayhem. Do you have any of that?”
“No. Only the terrible sadness and inability to do anything.”
“I’ve never used cutting myself for melancholia – well, I tried once and all it did was make me even sadder and made a mess of the carpet. I’m like a seesaw – melancholia on one end, what Franz calls mania on the other. My main problem comes from the mania – I don’t dip into melancholia very often. I do the things I just advised you to do – stay as busy as I can, believe strongly in things. I can’t say it’s a panacea but it works for me.”
“Why are you being so distant? Is that part of it?”
Kaymar looked down at the floor, avoiding her eyes. He seemed to be having an inward argument.
“Katrin – it’s self-preservation, and it’s something that would serve you well,” he finally said. “Think back on the times you’ve been in trouble, when you’ve ended up in a situation that is hurtful or harmful to others. Everything from running away from your guards when you were a child to getting involved with a man who was the last thing you needed. You’re a very emotional person – I’m another. It’s something you must control or being impulsive and emotional could destroy everything you care about – while at the same time, your strong emotions are one of your greatest assets.
Love and Sacrifice: Book Two of the Prophecy Series Page 77