“Absolutely not.”
“Excuse me?” I stood up and cocked my eyebrow at them both. “I’m not entirely defenseless. Why can’t I help?”
“Because.” They both responded at the same time.
“Cavemen, much?” Taking in a deep breath, I readied myself for the battle I knew this would be. Somehow I had to make them see why this was important. “I know you both need to protect me; and heaven knows, this guy terrifies me. Like, genuinely, the fear of God. But whether you like it or not, I won’t be relegated to a position of helplessness. With everything I don’t know right now, like how to control my powers, or whether we can rebind them, and when Julian’s coming, to sit back and watch everyone else take care of me is not an option. Do you hear that? No!” I turned to Mason, directing my next comments to him. “I am now mated to the Alpha of the Mystic Wolves. To Mason O’Connor. And with that comes certain assumptions. How do you think it will look if I’m seen hiding behind others? I’m not asking to fight Julian alone. I’m not saying I even know how to beat him. But, I will be part of whatever happens next. Please.”
I whipped around to face Devlin. “I am not weak and I don’t claim to be any braver than the next person. Isn’t courage the definition of being scared of something, but doing it anyway? I need to be able to face this oncoming threat. I need to know that whatever challenges I face, I fight . . . I don’t run. If there’s one thing I learned completing the Heart and Death, it’s that I am a lot stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.”
My glances darted back and forth now as I addressed both Mason and Devlin. “Don’t think I’m ready? Then teach me what I need to know. Arm me with knowledge. Instead of irritating my witch powers, show me how to harness them. As well as teaching me how to relax, show me how to wield a weapon. You’re an expert, Devlin. You going to tell me you can’t train me to defend myself? I still remember the moves Daniel taught me. Mason, help me fine-tune my fighting skills as a wolf. Don’t make me watch those I love battle for me when I can help, as well. This is my life, too. And honestly, if Julian is as persistent as you say, how can you be sure he won’t bide his time until I’m alone? What if he overpowers those you set as guards? How do you know his magic won’t overrule any of your efforts? Can you see why this is so important? If we’re going to be ready, everyone must be ready. Including me.” My heart was racing, adrenaline pumping through my bloodstream from my passionate speech. “Please.”
“Damn,” Devlin uttered, shaking his head and looking at Mason.
“I still don’t like it,” Mason grumbled.
“You don’t have to like it. Nothing about this is likable. But it doesn’t change the fact I’m right, and you both know it. This isn’t the time for pride. We need to be realistic.”
“Reality says I want you nowhere near this guy. My gut tells me to find the safest place possible and lock you away.” Mason didn’t want to give in.
“My gut tells me there is no safe place. That Julian will keep coming and coming now he knows I have my powers. He won’t stop unless we stop him first,” I replied.
“But . . .”
“Quit being stubborn,” I interrupted, cupping the side of Mason’s cheek. “Trust me. Trust that I won’t willingly put myself in danger. Trust that I will follow whatever you and Devlin ask. I’m not saying I’m going to be reckless. I’m not stupid. I just want to be prepared.”
Mason moved my hand and kissed the center of my palm. “I can’t stand the idea of you being hurt.”
“Then help me to not be a victim.”
He let out a loud sigh. “Okay.”
“Thank you.” Wrapping my arms around him, I hugged him tightly, hoping it would show him how grateful I was. I understood his resistance, his need to protect. Unfortunately, this was one of those times we all needed to push past our natural instincts.
With that battle won, I enjoyed the small victory, knowing the harder ones were yet to come.
Chapter 10
Over the next two days, I began referring to myself fondly as the ‘guinea pig’. Vivien worked hard to find a solution to silence the beacon my magic was emitting. Whether it came in the form of an enchanted trinket, a foul tasting potion, or more incantations, the results were all the same. Rejection.
Sometimes the reaction was instant, dropping me to my knees, leaving me gasping for air as agony washed over and through me. Often it gave false hope, making us believe we’d succeeded before crashing down around me. Those attempts were the most discouraging because I wasn’t the only one breathing a sigh of relief thinking that something had finally worked. As each minute—hour—passed, tensions heightened to the point of snapping, each noise making us jump. Devlin had scouts patrolling the area and Mason had enlisted the help of those he trusted implicitly. It seemed that everyone we knew was on the lookout for Julian; but so far, he’d proven to be elusive. Just like the ability to rebind my magic.
It was beginning to look like the only course of action available to me was learning the control needed to not be a danger to others or myself. The down side was that the kind of mastery I needed took years to develop, and that was a luxury I didn’t have. As Vivien said, right now what we needed was a band-aid—something that would work in the meantime—until we could get something permanent in place.
I was growing more accustomed to being dual natured. My wolf had accepted she shared space with my witch abilities and, after the initial shock of not being alone, she settled down. She’d also sensed something wasn’t quite right, but the original spell had shielded her, as well. We’d both been in the dark. Thankfully, we were adjusting.
Devlin and Mason had taken my plea to be more involved seriously. Both had taken me for training at the gym. Over and over, we practiced the defensive techniques I would need—how to avoid being attacked, blocking punches and kicks, and how to get out of tight holds. The exercises were exhausting, but along with the strenuous activity came a strong sense of satisfaction. Even Mason couldn’t deny I was a quick study, grunting his approval when I managed to flip a surprised Devlin over my shoulder.
They were relentless, pushing me harder than ever. There was no time to second-guess my decision. Once they were on board, they devoted all their energies to making sure they imparted the best of their knowledge. Sweat dripped down into my eyes, my shirt clung to my back, and yet, still they came at me, barking out commands for me to move this way or that. With each success, my arsenal grew. And so did my confidence.
“I think we’re done for today,” Mason puffed, wiping the back of his hand over his forehead. We’d spent the last three hours training hard and we looked every bit as worn out as we felt. My muscles ached, begging for me to relent and go soak in a hot tub. Devlin tossed both of us a clean towel and I wiped my face. Damn if he didn’t look refreshed. While I stood gasping for air, my heart racing and dripping with sweat, Devlin appeared as though he’d been sitting around idly the whole time we worked out. If I hadn’t seen it with my own two eyes, I would’ve thought he’d just arrived.
“You did well today, Darcy. Just tighten up your fists when you punch and don’t lock your legs when you move about. The looser you can keep your stance, the better you can keep your balance.”
“It also helps your flexibility, too,” Mason added. “The key to survival is being able to see the attack coming and adjust as needed. When you go stiff and rigid, it can steal those split seconds you will need to either defend or retaliate, and give your opponent the upper hand.”
Nodding, I tossed the used towel over to the side and gestured to them both with my outstretched hand. “Then come at me, both of you.” I curled my fingers, inviting them to attack me.
Mason grinned, nudging Devlin. “Do you think she can take us?”
“No, but we can humor her, I guess.”
“Humor this, punks!” I let out a war cry and leapt forward, my leg lifting into a perfect roundhouse kick. I caught Devlin by surprise, not giving him enough time to duck before my fo
ot connected with my intended target. Keeping my body loose, I dropped to the ground, sweeping my leg again—this time striking Mason’s own out from under him. He toppled to the floor like a scattered bowling pin. I didn’t let my brief victory cloud my focus, though. Even I knew that it was pure luck that I’d caught them by surprise. They were both seasoned fighters. I wasn’t so arrogant to believe I’d surpassed my masters.
Tucking my head in, I rolled away and came to a stand, instantly sitting into a readied stance. Mason and Devlin were also on their feet, proud grins plastered on their faces, before they separated, each pacing around me from opposite directions. They were trying to split my attention, forcing me to back up so I could always keep them in my sight.
Devlin feinted forward, his arm cocked as though he was about to lash out. At the same time, Mason stepped closer, his hands held out like he would grab me. Whatever I did next required perfect timing if I was going to deflect them both. Bending over at the waist, I slammed backward into Mason’s hips, causing him to make a soft ‘oomph’ and drop his arms. He grappled for me, but I slammed my foot down on his instep, shoving my elbow back into his gut. Not waiting to see if my strategy worked, my defense had allowed more room for me to charge forward, pile-driving Devlin in the solar plexus and forcing him backward, as well. He lost his footing and we both toppled over with me landing on top of him.
Before he could say anything, I quickly straddled him; one hand gripping his throat while the other was fisted and ready to strike his Adam’s apple.
“I yield,” Devlin chuckled, tapping the mat beside him. “Damn, Darcy. That was magnificent.”
I released him, still sitting on top of him and smiled. “Still think I’m weak?”
One moment I was perched on top of my opponent and next I was lifted into the air, Mason’s grip keeping me from flying across the room. He dropped to his knee, not so gently pinning me to the ground on my stomach and twisted my arm behind my back. “I would never call you weak, but you forgot rule number one, never lose focus.”
The embarrassment of forgetting that Mason was still a factor in this battle, caused my face to heat, and I was grateful neither of them could see it as I banged my head against the mat in frustration. “Ugh,” I grumbled angrily. “I was so close!”
“Close, but not enough. You have to remain aware of your surrounding at all times, sweetheart. I can’t stress that enough.” He added an extra firm push against my arm and I winced at the tension. “Now, try to get out of this.”
I struggled against his pressure, but there was no give. No matter how I moved my body, he simply tightened his grip. Frustrated, I let out a puff of air. “I don’t know how. I yield.”
“No, you don’t yield. You figure it out.”
“Mason, maybe we should give this a rest. Try again later tonight,” Devlin interceded.
“No. I’m not trying to be a hard ass, but if we’re going to let her be part of this, we’re doing it my way. I need to know that no matter what we throw at her, Darcy knows how to get out of it.” Returning his focus to me, Mason’s voice was firm. I knew why he was doing it, so I couldn’t begrudge him. This is exactly what I’d asked for; so, instead of complaining, I stopped resisting and began thinking.
“That won’t work.”
“Get out of my head,” I grunted, annoyed he was using our connection.
“You need more force to strike at my groin and I doubt at this angle you’d get it.”
“I’ll have plenty of force when you let me go, jerk,” I retorted.
“I love it when you’re feisty. Think. What do you need right now?”
I scrambled to think what he was hinting at. “I don’t know. Wiggle room. Leverage. A big bat to beat you over the head with.” Devlin laughed behind me, apparently enjoying the display. “I need more time to think.”
“You don’t have all the time in the world. Make a move and do it now.”
“I don’t know!” Everything I thought of, I quickly dismissed.
“Want to know the answer?” Devlin bent over so I could see him. “Don’t let yourself get into this position to begin with. The trick is to catch your opponent by surprise. He’s disabled you because you don’t have the use of your arms or legs, and he weighs more than you. Any struggle or resistance you give only helps him tighten his grip. A good thing about this hold is he can’t make a killing move. He has no access to the front of your throat. He can try but it’s harder than if he was coming at you the opposite way. Your heart is protected by the ground, as are your other vital organs. He can attack your kidneys; but with how he’s holding you, he’d have to move. He can’t choke you out. Sooner or later, he’s going to have to slacken his grip or shift his weight. The goal would be for you to wait until then—give the impression you’re tired or that he’s beaten you. The second he relents, strike. Do whatever you can to break his hold and attack.”
Mason let go and leaning forward, kissed the side of my head. “I’m so proud of you, Darcy. I have no doubt you can take care of yourself.” Getting up off me, he waited for me to turn so he could help me up. My arm stung from being twisted in such an awkward position, my shoulder burned. Giving him my hand, I let him help me up. When he went to wrap his arms around me, I sucker punched him in the gut, grinning wickedly.
“Damn right I can take care of myself.” I let out a hoot of satisfaction before doubling over. It was coming again, the power shaking violently inside me. I barely had time to gasp before I was lifted into Mason’s arms as he raced outside the now crumbling building.
My magic was beyond out of control. The one simple blast that radiated from me shook the gym to its very foundations. The plaster from the ceiling started showering down over us, cracks running up the walls.
“Get out!” Mason yelled. I desperately tried to shut everything out, focusing inwardly as I tried to still the raging magic bursting from me. Taking deep breaths, panic overrode my attempts to reach my peaceful center and I pushed back harder. I was the one in control of me—not my gifts and abilities. I dictated what happened, and there was no way I would let this hurt those I loved.
Closing my eyes, I ignored the noises around me. I released all tension and took hold of the peaceful bubble inside me. I embraced it, wrapped myself up in its soft, glowing warmth and channeled its calming influence outward. I didn’t stop to see if it was working—not wanting to give in to distraction.
“It’s okay, Darcy. We’re safe.” The words floated to me, and I peeked through my eyelashes, up into Mason’s worried face. “You did it. You stopped the surge.”
Turning my head, I glanced over to the building we’d just been in. Large cracks stretched out across the wall like a giant spider web, the doorframe broken and partially caved in. I couldn’t see inside, but it didn’t take a genius to assume there was even more structural damage in there.
“Devlin?” I panicked.
“I’m here.” He moved so I could see him. Tapping Mason’s chest to let him know I was okay, he gently let me down. I hugged him quickly before reaching to give one to Devlin.
“I’m so sorry. You both could’ve been hurt and it’s entirely my fault.
“Sssh. No-one’s to blame. We knew there was a risk with your magic; but look at the bigger picture. Yes, there was a flare, and it was a bad one, but you managed to curb it. It should’ve been a lot worse. If it hadn’t been for you using your calming strategy, that building would be a pile of rubble.”
Devlin was right, but it still didn’t make me feel better. “I need to keep practicing those meditation skills. I can’t let it get like this, again.”
“Sweetheart, for the moment just be proud of what you achieved.” Mason brushed his hand over my arm, hoping I’d turn around and draw my attention away from the gym. “You did amazing. You’re definitely a quick study. It would take most people much longer to gain the level of control you have managed to master.”
“Pfft, I want perfect control. What happens if next time I’m n
ot fast enough?”
“Stop talking ‘what if’s’. Rule number two: focus only on what you’re able to control. There’s no need beating yourself up over something that hasn’t even happened. You’ll just drive yourself crazy.”
I wanted to tell them I already felt crazy, but I didn’t. They were right. There was no point in dwelling on the negative. “I need a break. I know I should continue practicing; but right now, what I need most is to run.”
“Then go. Trust yourself.”
With a brief nod, I jogged toward the trees, excitement stirring as I hid behind one and began undressing. This was exactly what I needed to do right now—the clarity I felt when in my wolf form beckoned me.
Shifting slowly, careful that I didn’t over exert myself, blessed relief surrounded me as my four paws stood on the forest floor. Without a second thought, I tipped my head back and howled.
For the next little while, I was free.
Chapter 11
The woods were teeming with life. Even though most of the critters gave me a wide berth, I could still sense them as I ran, weaving in and out between the trees. The smell of nature filled my nostrils, the dirt under my feet recharging my spirit and helping me in the same way that the meditation had. It was always like this—the simple beauty of giving way to my wolf and letting go of my human worries.
Her perspective was uncomplicated, stripped down to the basic instincts. When the world became too much to handle and threatened to crush my determination, by shifting into my furred body, it was easier to see what was important. To my wolf, it all boiled down to the basics: shelter, food, safety, Pack, mate. She wasn’t into the complexities that existed outside her world. As long as those five things were protected, she was happy.
I embraced her way of thinking—our way of thinking, reveling in these moments. I yipped happily as the tension broke away, leaping over logs and rocks in my sleek form. The sun was starting to make its descent in the afternoon sky and I pounced on different light beams that broke through the overhead foliage. There was no fear, no thought of Julian, or danger. I was simply enjoying that carefree feeling I craved.
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