“She needs a room now,” Nora said, her voice verging on hysterical. “You just said she's in labor.”
“And she could be in labor for the next twelve hours,” the nurse said. “First babies rarely come quickly.”
“But sometimes they do,” Nora said. “I refuse to allow my daughter-in-law to deliver her baby in a filthy waiting room.” Of course, I wasn't Nora's daughter-in-law, but she told everyone I was anyway. She thought of me that way and I didn't see the point of arguing with her.
“Mom—” May said, putting a hand on her mother's shoulder.
“I promise you,” the nurse said, still calm and unruffled by Nora suggesting the waiting room was filthy. “We won't let her deliver in the waiting room. We're busy here tonight and it will take us a little while to get a room ready, but we'll do everything we can to get her into a room quickly.”
“Thank you,” May said. She grabbed Nora rather forcibly and pulled her toward the waiting room. I hobbled after them, torn between laughing at Nora's drama and wishing I had someone with me who was focused on me, who I could lean on without worrying that I'd knock them over. I longed for Noah with an ache that almost overpowered the next contraction that pulsed through me.
“I'm here,” May said. She supported me at the elbow and held me up until the contraction had passed. Then she helped me to my seat in the waiting area. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“I'm okay,” I said. “Just a little thirsty.”
May smiled and turned to Nora. “Mom, Aubrey's thirsty. Can you find her some water?”
“What if they call us back while I'm gone?” Nora asked.
“Then I'll text you with the room number,” May said in a firm voice. I hadn't realized May had such a firmness in her, and I should have. I clearly hadn't been paying attention.
Nora pressed a kiss to my cheek and left us. I turned my attention to May who was watching her mother walk away. I was surprised to realize that Nora, who'd I'd always thought was a pillar of strength, had nothing on her daughter. I might have told May, but another contraction overtook me and I wasn't able to speak.
Nora came back with my water and we were called back to a room less than half an hour later. The single-patient room was spacious, with its own bathroom and a couch. I tried to settle on the bed, but I couldn't get comfortable.
“Feel free to walk around if it helps,” my doctor said. She'd checked mine and the baby's heartbeat and pronounced us both in great shape. I was nowhere near dilated enough to be close to giving birth. “There's a tub in the bathroom and some women find it very soothing to experience labor in the tub.”
“Shouldn't she stay here?” Nora asked, an edge of panic in her voice. “What if something happens?”
“She's in a hospital,” my doctor said in a soothing tone. “There are plenty of people here to help her.”
I pushed my unwieldy body out of bed as the doctor left my room. “I think I'd like to go for a walk.”
“I'll go with you,” May said.
“I really don't think this is a good idea,” Nora said. “You should stay here. If you're uncomfortable, maybe you should have drugs.”
“She doesn't want any drugs, Mom. She wants to go for a walk. Maybe you should get some fresh air while we walk.”
Nora opened her mouth like she was going to argue, but May led me out of the room before she could.
We walked until the contractions made it difficult for me to get very far and then May filled the tub with water and I settled into the warm bath. I was uncomfortable and scared of what to expect, but May stayed by my side, completely calm and supportive. Between her calm and the warm water of the tub, I actually started to get sleepy. The warm water did ease the pain of the contractions a bit. I was just starting to drift off, when Nora's heels clicked on the tile floor.
“The doctor hasn't checked her in a while. Should I call her?”
The anxiety in Nora's expression and tone caused my own anxiety to spike. Another contraction hit me with a painful force. When I came out of it, Nora was gone. May smiled serenely at me. “I made an executive decision and asked Mom to leave. She won't be back until the baby's here.”
“Thank you,” I said, exhaustion overwhelming me. “Will you stay?”
“Of course.”
May stayed and she remained calm, even when I felt like my body was going to split in two from the pain and from the baby working her way out of me. When I suggested maybe I should have the epidural anyway, May reminded me it wasn't what I'd wanted. She didn't flinch when I started to push, even though there was a lot of blood. She held my hand and urged me on and was entirely supportive.
The delivery was hard and painful and bloody, but at the end a lovely, healthy, warm baby girl was placed in my arms. I cried with happiness and relief. She cried, too, and I learned really fast how to nurse her. At least, I made my best attempt.
May held the baby, who I named Sophie as soon as I saw her tiny snub nose and bright blue eyes. Then, the nurse had to take the baby away and May went with them to watch over my baby. “You did good, Momma,” May said before she left.
“Thank you,” I said, my eyes already drifting shut with exhaustion.
When I woke, she was back, and Sophie was sleeping in a bassinet by my side. “Sweetie,” May said. “Your aunt is here and she wants to see you and the baby. Cody, Carrie, Nora, and Oscar, too.”
“Of course,” I said. “Tell them to come on in.”
May nodded, but she hesitated. “Um, Noah is here, too.”
I forced a smile, but I didn't feel it. I was so tired. I just wanted to be with my family and my baby. I didn't want to see Noah and wonder what he thought of me and our daughter. I didn't want him to hold Sophie and see no love in his eyes. I didn't want to hear his excuses when he told me he had to hurry back to the office. I just didn't have the energy for any of it. “He can see Sophie, of course,” I said. “But I don't want to see him, May, not now.”
May didn't argue or try to convince me to change my mind. “Okay, sweetheart. I'll tell him.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Aubrey
I was on the couch, Sophie in my arms, my shirt raised so she could nurse, when someone knocked on the door. May had left a half hour before to get groceries and survival necessities, like chocolate and movies, but she wouldn't knock, she'd just walk in. I hadn't showered in more than twenty-four hours, I was almost certain I had spit-up in my hair, and Sophie was going to scream like she was being murdered if I took her off my boob, so I considered ignoring the knock.
Whoever was at the door wasn't in a mood to be ignored. She, or he, pounded three more times. I sighed and pushed Sophie off my breast. “I'm sorry, sweetheart.”
She didn't care how sorry I was, her little face reddened and scrunched as her mouth opened wide and she let out a screech that was loud enough to wreck my eardrums. “Shh, sweetie,” I said. “I'll let you eat some more in just a minute.” If she was awake, she wanted to nurse, so I knew she wasn't going to starve, but there was no reasoning with her, and no amount of talking to her in a sweet voice was going to calm her down. She might only be four days old, but she knew what she wanted and she was persistent.
I pulled my shirt down and snuggled her close, even though she screamed right in my ear. I pulled the door open to see Noah, looking alert, chipper, and clean, on my front porch. My first instinct was relief. He was there, finally, and he'd help me. May had been wonderful, but I felt like such a burden to her. Noah was Sophie's father, helping me care for her was his job. Then, I remembered all the reasons I didn't want him there and the relief vanished and was replaced by a sort of numbness that probably would have been anger if I wasn't so tired. “Why are you here?”
“I'm here to see you and Sophie.” His gaze was on our screaming child as he spoke, his expression twisted with worry. “Is she okay? Can I do anything?”
“She's okay. She just wants to eat. She always wants to eat.”
He step
ped inside and closed the door behind him. “Here.” He held out his hands. “Let me try.”
I snorted, because unless he'd grown boobs and was lactating, there was nothing he could do to make Sophie happy. He took her from my arms, anyway. He held her like she was precious and fragile, but he appeared to know what he was doing, because he tucked her in against his chest, bounced her lightly, and she stopped crying. She stopped crying and her eyes drifted shut.
Noah smiled at me over our sleeping baby. “She's so gorgeous.” He gazed down at her, appearing to be completely smitten, and my heart melted. As hard as I'd tried to stop feeling anything for him, I was as much in love with him as I'd ever been, if not more. “Is there anything you need to do?” he asked. “I've got her for a little bit.”
“I could really use a shower.” A shower, a nap, and an uninterrupted meal, but I didn't want to sound greedy.
Noah sat on the couch, Sophie still in his arms. “Go ahead,” he said. “We'll be fine.”
I studied them for a moment. He looked so natural, so comfortable, and more at ease than I'd seen him maybe ever. Something had changed but I had no idea what it was, and in all honesty my brain was too tired and sluggish to work it out. “You can put her down in her bassinet to sleep.”
He smiled. “I'm fine, Aubrey. Go. Shower. Don't worry about us.”
I took him up on his offer and left him alone with Sophie. I took a long shower, shaving everything that needed to be shaved and enjoying the water and the peace. It was so good, I almost fell asleep standing up, right there in the shower.
I managed to stay awake and turned off the water, only to hear Sophie screaming at the top of her lungs. I sighed. My dream of peace had died a quick death. I toweled off, dressed, and raced out to the living room to find May, Sophie in her arms, pacing and cooing to the baby.
I'd taken a longer than usual shower, but it had still been less than half an hour, and Noah was already gone. Sophie had started screaming and he'd passed her off to May and left. I shouldn't have been disappointed, but I was. I still kept hoping…And I needed to move on, to get over it.
I hurried to May, already lifting my shirt, and took Sophie from her. The tiny baby latched right on and started eating. I held her tight and sat on the couch, getting as comfortable as I could. “Do you think she's not getting enough to eat?”
May shook her head. “She was three pounds heavier at her appointment yesterday than she was the day she was born. She's getting enough to eat.”
I nodded, wishing I knew someone who'd been through this. Nora would help, but I hated to bother her when she was busy with a full house at the bed and breakfast and getting ready to have the whole family over for Thanksgiving. “Thanks for taking her. I guess Noah had to get back to work?”
May smiled, her eyes lighting. “No, he's in the kitchen. He's putting away the groceries and cleaning up. He said something about fixing something for dinner, too.”
“Wow. That's nice of him.” I stomped down the flare of hope that this meant something, that he was sticking around.
May nodded. “I'll just go see if he needs any help.”
She left and I laid my head on the back of the couch. I could close my eyes for a minute while Sophie nursed.
I woke in my own bed, the room dimly lit by the setting sun. I glanced over to see Sophie asleep in her bassinet, her little hands closed in tight fists as she slept. The only explanation was that Noah had moved us. I considered getting up and finding Noah, if he was still there, but I had an opportunity to sleep and I was going to take it. I had things I needed to work out with Noah, but Sophie would need me in a couple hours and I wanted to be awake and alert for her.
I snuggled down, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
***
I'd finally gotten Sophie to sleep and was about to roll over and go to sleep myself, when someone knocked at the front door. I groaned at the clock. It was barely eight in the morning. Who the hell was at the door?
My heart leapt with something like hope that it might be Noah, but I stomped that down. He was probably back in Atlanta already.
Except, he wasn't. He was standing on my porch. And he walked right in when I opened the door. “You look exhausted,” he said. “Did you get any sleep?” Of course, he looked amazing, well-rested and comfortable in jeans and a button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled to reveal his strong forearms.
“No. Sophie decided to stay up all night.” I didn't move out of his way or gesture him inside, I needed some answers. “Why are you here? Shouldn't you be in Atlanta?”
“I'm moving to Catalpa Creek.”
I must have been way more tired than I'd realized because I was hallucinating. “What?”
“I'm moving to Catalpa Creek. I guess you could say I've already moved, though I don't have a permanent address, yet.”
“But, I thought…What about the company?”
“You should go to bed. Is Sophie sleeping?”
“Yes, but—”
“Just go to sleep. We can talk when you wake up.” He gave me a little shove. “Go, before she wakes up.”
I couldn't argue with that logic. I shrugged and went back to bed
I woke to Sophie's cries three hours later. I changed her diaper and carried her out to the living room where I found Noah and May talking quietly. At least they were until I walked into the room with a screaming infant. I sat on the sofa and stuck my boob in her mouth as quickly as I could. I had no shame at that point, besides Noah had seen me naked before.
“How was your night?” May asked.
“Sophie's a bit confused about when it's daytime and when it's nighttime,” I said. “The books said that could happen.”
“You can't keep going on this way,” Noah said. “You should try her on the bottle again so May and I can help out.”
“Right,” I said. “Because you're moving to Catalpa Creek?”
Noah's smile did things to my insides and my outsides. Dangerous things. “That's right. I've got a lot of free time so don't hesitate to ask for help.” He glanced at May. “In fact, I was just telling May I should probably move in here.”
He was joking. He had to be joking. Except, he wasn't smiling and May didn't look amused. “I understand that you want to see more of Sophie, but you're welcome here any time. There's no reason for you to move in.”
“I want to see Sophie,” Noah said. “But I want to see you, too. I want to help you. I want to be here to get up with Sophie in the middle of the night so you can sleep.”
“No,” I said, speaking on instinct. Sure, it sounded great to have him here helping, but I was just beginning to accept we'd never be more than friends. If he moved in, I'd start to hope for something more and it would be that much harder when he left. “You're Sophie's father and you have every right to see her, I won't deny you that, but you can't live here.”
“Aubrey—” May said.
Noah put a hand on her shoulder. “It's okay. She's right. I was assuming too much.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his hands clasped. “You need to know that I care about you, Aubrey. Now's not the time, but at some point in the future, I'm going to convince you we should be more than friends.”
Damn my heart for swelling with warmth and happiness, and damn him for playing me. “No,” I said again. “You don't get to do this. You've seen Sophie and you've decided it might be nice for the three of us to be a family, but it's just a fantasy. You and I have never been and never will be anything more than friends.”
Noah's frown was severe, almost angry. “Sophie is amazing and I love her, but I wouldn't play that kind of game with you. I care about you, Aubrey. I want to date you.”
I was on my feet, Sophie tucked against me, before I'd realized I intended to stand. “I'm going back to my room for a bit. I want you to leave, Noah.”
“You just said I could visit Sophie any time I wanted,” he said, a bit of panic in his voice.
“You've been and you've seen her. You can go.”<
br />
I hurried back to my room before he could argue. I didn't have the energy for an argument, didn't have the energy for him at all.
Back in my room, I got comfy on the bed and moved Sophie to my other breast. I pulled my Kindle off the nightstand and tried to get lost in the thriller I was reading. I tried to focus on the words on the page, but I kept seeing and hearing Noah telling me he cared about me, that he wanted to date me. God, how I wanted to believe him. How I wanted to have him here all the time, sharing my bed and helping me with Sophie. The problem was he was acting out of a sense of duty not love. He'd given up his home in Atlanta to move here for us. I refused to accept any more sacrifices from him.
***
The next day, the knock didn't come until ten. I let May answer the door so I'd have a moment to prepare myself for seeing Noah again. I knew I was right to push him away, but I was weak and he looked so good. I knew his arms would be warm and tight around me…I just needed to remember the pleasure wouldn't last.
Sophie had slept better the night before and, because of May's help, I'd been able to shower and dress like a functioning member of society. I was feeling better than I'd felt in days, but I was nursing Sophie and wasn't getting off the couch if I didn't have to.
Noah walked in wearing jeans and a t-shirt that clung to his lean muscles. He had a scruff of a beard, like he hadn't shaved in a few days, and he looked casual and relaxed.
He walked over and sat on the couch next to us like I hadn't basically told him to go to hell the night before. “I brought you a present.”
He placed a large box next to my hip. I wanted to maintain my cool and stoic demeanor, but I loved gifts. And I loved surprises. And I especially loved surprise gifts given for no special reason. “My hands are kind of full. Can you open it for me?”
Noah shrugged, but his eyes were lit with mischief. He knew I had zero patience when it came to gifts. “Just open it when you're done nursing.”
The Workaholic Down the Hall Page 18