“That's really sweet,” she said. “But, honestly, it's just another day, I don't feel the need to make a big deal of it. Whatever you want to do is fine.”
That might be fine for her, but it wasn't fine for me. “I picked the tree and the ornaments and a whole mess of decorations. You choose the next tradition.”
She sighed and frowned. “Really, Noah, I've got no ideas.” There were shadows under her eyes and I hated that I might be causing her pain by pushing her for something she wasn't ready for.
“Just think about it,” I said. “No pressure. Just imagine Christmas in this house, with Sophie and me, if you'll let me be here. What do you envision? What do you want?”
She closed her eyes. I'd begun to think she'd fallen asleep, but then she opened them and focused on me. “I want to spend Christmas day here at the house with you and Sophie and as many of our family and friends as we can get here. I want it to be chaos and noise and good food. I want to laugh and fall asleep full and happy.”
My smile was so big it hurt. She wasn't exactly saying she wanted a relationship, but she was saying she wanted me here, envisioned me here with them. If that was all I ever got from her, I'd…Well, it would be a good start. “Great. I love it. And what would we do all day?”
She smiled, her gaze going hazy. “We could get up early and open presents, have a big breakfast, and spend the day chatting and watching Sophie and her cousins playing with their new toys. When Sophie's older, she can help plan the party. I want her to have some say as she gets older. This should be her tradition, too.”
“It sounds perfect.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Aubrey
Noah had boxes and boxes of ornaments. I'd expected him to be the sort who'd pick color-coordinated ornaments. He'd never had a tree at his condo, had always gone to Nora's for Christmas, so I'd never seen his Christmas decorating taste. Turns out, it ran to tacky, extremely tacky. Watching him pull out ornament after ornament, each one uglier than the last, had me laughing so hard I woke up Sophie after she'd finally drifted back to sleep.
None of the ornaments matched, they were all bright and ridiculous colors and they were almost uniformly hideous. “Where did you find so many horrible ornaments?” I asked, as he hung a red solo cup ornament next to a wreath composed of miniature shell casings. “Are you attempting to win some sort of redneck tree-decorating award?”
Noah smiled. “I might have gotten a little carried away, but this is our first tree. Christmas decorations are pretty tacky, even when they aren't trying to be, so I figured why pretend?”
I laughed, rocking Sophie back to sleep as I did. “So, this is an ironic Christmas tree?”
He smiled. “Exactly. Plus, it's only twenty-two days until Christmas and all these ornaments were on sale.”
“Shocking. I guess ironic Christmas trees aren't popular this year.”
He hung the last ornament and sat next to me. “Do you hate it? It's not too late to take everything back.”
“I actually love it. We can make it one of our traditions, finding the ugliest, tackiest ornaments to add to the tree every year.”
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and tucked me in against him. I should have resisted, should have moved away, but it felt nice, having him hold me, and I didn't want to move away. “Good idea. Though I think I won this year.”
“You definitely won this year.”
He straightened and stood, and I felt cold and lonely without his arm around me. It was a good reminder not to get too used to him being around. “Time to decorate the outside of the house.”
I groaned. “I don't even want to know what you got for the outside.”
He grinned, looking far too pleased with himself. “No, I don't think you do. Feel free to nap. I'll be out there for a while.”
He left and I went back to bed, after I got Sophie back to sleep, very happy to take him up on his suggestion.
I woke to the smell of something warm and delicious. It was the first time I'd woken up to anything other than Sophie screaming in days. I glanced over at her bassinet to see she wasn't in it. I had a moment's panic before I relaxed, figuring Noah had her. I climbed out of bed and followed the good smells to the kitchen. Sophie was in her little rocker, just cooing and watching Noah as he stirred something at the stove. He was singing a Christmas carol, really badly. He had no tune at all, and his deep voice had no shot of reaching the high notes in Silent Night. Sophie didn't seem to mind and it was cool to see her awake and not screaming to be fed.
As soon as I stepped into the kitchen and she saw me, though, she let out a cry that made Noah jump and drop his spoon to the counter with a splatter. He spun and smiled at me. “You're up. Sophie and I have been having fun.”
At least that's what I thought he said, it was hard to hear him over the screaming infant. I bent and picked her up. “I'll be on the couch,” I said. I was sure there was a way to nurse her other places, but the height of the armrest on the couch was perfect for getting her to the right position and I wasn't ready to attempt nursing her anywhere else. I got her settled and leaned back against the couch with a sigh. She was so warm and snuggly. I took a moment to really look at her, the tiny details of her face, a combination of both me and Noah. She was so adorable and I loved her energy and her spirit, even when it exhausted me.
“I took her out of your room before she woke up to give you a bit more time to sleep. I hope that was okay.”
“Of course,” I said. “I'm always grateful for more time to sleep. She looked really happy with you.”
He smiled like I'd just told him he'd won the lottery. “I'm happy with her.”
A warm glow of happiness rolled over me and, right behind it, dread. I needed to remember not to get too comfortable, not to expect too much. “Look, you can see her anytime you want. You don't have to make nice with me. I'll never keep her from you, no matter what happens between us.”
His smile fell and something like pain crossed his face. “Aubrey, I…I want to be with you. I want the three of us to be a family.”
My heart sank, but I was grateful for the reminder. Better a little hurt now than a ton of hurt later. Sophie had fallen back to sleep, so I stood and carried her back to my room. She didn't need to hear this conversation.
I found Noah back in the kitchen, still stirring something at the stove. “That smells so good,” I said. “What is it?”
He spun to face me. “Chili. Mom made it and May brought it over. It's good for cold days. Are you hungry?”
Between the nursing and the lack of sleep, it seemed like I was always hungry. “I am.”
He fixed us each a bowl of chili and put shredded cheese and warm cornbread on the table. “Wow,” I said. “Nora went all out.” I hadn't seen Nora since I'd left the hospital. I'd told myself it was because she was busy at the Inn, but I suspected it might have something to do with May asking her to leave the delivery room and me agreeing. I would call her just as soon as I had a quiet moment.
Noah and I ate in comfortable silence. I waited to speak until we'd finished and the dirty dishes were in the sink. “Noah, I know you've got this idea in your head of us being a happy family, but you shouldn't have to force this. We can be a family, we can still spend Christmas day together, we can do it as friends.”
His jaw clenched. “I don't want to be your friend, Aubrey.”
His phone rang and he glanced at it. He sighed and answered. His frown turned to serious concern. “What happened? No, it's fine. I'll be right there.”
He hung up. “I'm sorry. I have to go.”
I stood. “What happened?”
“It's Mom. She fell. She's at the hospital.”
I slapped a hand to my mouth, tears already stinging my eyes. “Is she okay? I'll come with you.”
“No,” he said. “You stay with Sophie. She shouldn't be at a hospital right now.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I'll call as soon as I know something.”
He left, and I wa
shed the dishes and tried not to freak out. I turned on the lights on the tacky Christmas tree and peeked out the front window to see the lawn littered with blow-up Christmas characters. Noah really had gone all out.
I was grateful when Sophie woke up, because she distracted me from my worry about Nora. I sat on the couch with her in my arms and hoped Nora was okay. Sophie needed her grandmother.
***
This time, when the knock came at the door, I opened it fully expecting to see Noah. I hadn't seen him in two days. He'd been at the hospital with his mom, who'd broken her leg, and helping at the bed and breakfast, all worthy causes, but I missed him and I'd gotten very little sleep with neither him nor May there to help me out.
Noah was on my porch, but he wasn't alone. Nora stood next to him on a pair of crutches, her leg in an enormous cast. “Hi, sweetheart,” Nora said. The break had been bad enough that she'd needed surgery and she'd had to spend a couple days at the hospital. She'd fallen off a ladder trying to put up Christmas decorations at the Inn.
I stepped aside. “Hi, Nora. Noah. Please, come in. Sit down.”
Sophie cooed from her bouncy chair next to the Christmas tree. She loved to stare at the lights and colors on the tree. Noah helped Nora to sit on the couch.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
Nora looked older without make-up on, her hair pulled back in a neat ponytail. Her face was drawn with pain and exhaustion. “I'm fine, dear, but I was hoping I might be able to stay here while I recover. I'm supposed to stay off my feet as much as possible for the next couple months. I can't manage stairs, so I can't make it to my room at the—”
“Oh, my goodness,” I said. “Of course, you can stay here. I'll move upstairs and you can have my room.”
“Thank you, Aubrey. I really hate to intrude, but Cody's got a full-house already and May's apartment is at the top of two flights of stairs.”
“You won't be intruding. I'd love to have you here. This way you can spend more time with Sophie.”
Nora smiled, relaxing for the first time since she'd walked in. “I'd love that, Aubrey. Thank you.”
“I'll help you move upstairs,” Noah said. “It might be good to do it now while Sophie is happy.”
I stood. “Good idea.”
I led Noah back to my room. “Are you sure this is okay?” he asked once he'd closed the door behind us. “I know you've got all you can handle taking care of Sophie, but I'll be here as much as I can to help.”
“Of course it's fine.” It was mostly fine. I was exhausted. Sophie was back to confusing her days and nights. No matter how hard I tried to keep her awake longer during the daylight hours, she popped wide awake as soon as the sun went down. But Nora could get around on her crutches and probably wouldn't need too much help. Probably.
Noah studied my face and sighed like he could read my mind. “I'll help out and so will May and George, even Cody and Carrie. We won't let all this fall on your shoulders.”
I nodded, but I hated how much I'd come to depend on him. He was supposed to be getting free from duty, from taking care of other people, instead he was taking care of more people. “I think it'll be easiest if I pack everything in my suitcases and we carry it up that way, rather than making a million and one trips.”
Noah nodded and we got to work. It took us over an hour and I had to stop midway through to nurse Sophie. Once everything was moved, Noah stopped me in the room I'd moved into. “Promise me you'll ask for help if you need it, that you'll let me help.”
I wanted to brush off his offer, but he looked deadly serious, and I'd be stupid to turn down help now that his mother was living with me. “I promise.”
Nora smiled when Noah and I walked into the living room. Sophie was in her grandmother's arms, sleeping now. “Did you get everything moved okay? I'm so sorry to make you move out of your own room.”
“It's totally fine,” I said. “Not a big deal. Really.”
“Well, it's a huge deal to me.” She shook her head. “So stupid of me to get hurt when I have a house full of guests. And when you need May and Noah here to help you.”
“I have you here, now,” I said, trying to look on the bright side. “I'm sorry, Nora, that I haven't been in touch since the delivery.”
She smiled. “No, dear, I'm sorry. I've been so busy at the inn and I haven't made time to visit. Honestly, I was embarrassed about the way I acted during your delivery. My own mother-in-law was a menace with the way she always told me I was parenting my children wrong. I swore I'd never do the same thing to my own daughter-in-law and then…Well, I did it.” She sighed and patted my hand. “You must understand, dear. I only did it because I didn't want to see you in pain. It was no reflection of my opinion of your judgment or your choices.”
I smiled back, feeling hugely better about her staying with me. “I can understand that. I know how much you care about me and Sophie.”
“And if I ever forget and try to Monday morning quarterback your parenting skills, you tell me to go to hell.”
I laughed. “I'll try to word it more nicely than that.”
“Don't bother trying to be nice,” Noah said. He took a seat in one of the easy chairs near Sophie. “May tried to tell her nicely to wait for George to put up the Christmas lights and look where that got us.”
Nora grimaced. “She was not nice at all. She told me I was too old to be getting up on a ladder and, well, I had to prove her wrong, didn't I?”
I laughed and Noah groaned. “Well, I hope you've learned your lesson, Mother.”
“Of course, dear,” she said. But she winked at me.
Noah stayed until after dinner and we had a lovely time. Nora insisted on watching a Christmas movie to get in the holiday spirit and Sophie slept through it on Nora's chest. Noah left after the movie and I was glad. I really was glad. He needed to have his own life, separate from me and Sophie.
“I'm heading to bed,” I told Nora after Noah had left. I wanted to get Sophie and myself to bed before she woke up.
Nora handed Sophie over to me. “He's happier now, don't you think?”
“I guess so.” I knew she was talking about Noah and I didn't just guess he was happier. He seemed more relaxed than I'd ever seen him before, he smiled more, and he'd been more willing to talk about himself and what he wanted. That night over dinner, he'd even talked about his dad. He and Nora shared good memories of the man and debated how he'd feel about his company being sold to Alex Owings. It was a side of Noah I'd rarely seen before and it made me fall even harder for him.
“He's done all this for you, you know,” she said.
“I hope that isn't true. He deserves to do something for himself, to find his own happiness. Besides, he told me he didn't enjoy being a CEO.”
Nora smiled. “Maybe. But I think you showed him what it was to be happy, you helped him to see what was missing from his life. You can't deny he moved to Catalpa Creek for you.”
I didn't want Nora to get any ideas about me and Noah, she tended to do things like kidnap people when she got ideas. “He moved here for Sophie. I'm glad he's here and that he has time to spend with her, but he's not here for me.”
Nora frowned. “I understand my son hurt you in some way, Aubrey, but he's trying to make it right. He's trying to be here for you in the way you need.”
“Nora, I know you've got some grand vision of Noah falling in love with me and us being a family, but he had years to fall for me and he never looked at me as more than a friend. I've accepted that's all we'll ever be, you should do the same.”
“Don't push him away. If you push too hard he might not come back.”
I sighed. I was tired and I just wanted to go to bed. “I learned a long time ago that we can't make people love us, no matter how hard we wish for it.”
Her expression softened and she looked at me with my least favorite emotion, pity. “Just give him a chance, dear. Listen to what he's offering with an open mind.”
“Okay,” I said, lying throug
h my teeth. Sophie fidgeted in my arms. “I really should get us both to bed.”
“Good night, dear. Sleep well.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Noah
I let myself into Aubrey's house, the next morning, because it was before eight and I didn't want to wake her. I probably should have planned my visit for later in the morning, but I needed to be there, needed to be around to help with Sophie. Hell, I just needed to be close to Aubrey.
I closed the door softly behind myself and tiptoed into the kitchen. Aubrey was sitting at the kitchen island, her laptop in front of her. Sophie was in her baby rocker, watching her toys dangle over her head. Aubrey jumped and let out a squeak of surprise when I walked past her. She placed a hand over her heart and caught her breath. “Noah. I didn't hear Nora let you in. I didn't even know she was up.”
Shit. I hadn't thought this through. “I let myself in. I haven't seen Mom.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Did I leave the door unlocked last night? I could have sworn I locked it after you left.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Lack of sleep must be getting to my brain.” There were dark circles under her eyes and she looked a bit pale.
I didn't want her to think she was crazy, but I had a feeling I was about to lose every bit of ground I'd gained with her. “May gave me a key. I let myself in because I didn't want to wake you.”
She spoke through gritted teeth. “Why would May give you a key to my place without telling me?”
I took a step back from the island. I wasn't chicken, but I wasn't stupid either. “She thought I should have it in case of an emergency.”
Aubrey held out her hand. “If there's an emergency, I'll call 911. Please give me back my key.”
I dropped the key in her hand. “Don't you think it makes sense for me to have a key? I'm here all the time.”
“No.” She placed the key on the counter next to her laptop. “You don't live here.”
The Workaholic Down the Hall Page 20