by M K Farrar
The group got along well, the wine flowing, and when the nibbles arrived, Liv deliberately ate some of the cured ham to show she wasn’t having Michael tell her what to do. It was hard to tell how many glasses of wine she’d consumed, however, from the glasses being topped up whenever they were anything less than half full. At some point, a third bottle turned up, though she wasn’t sure who had ordered it.
Feeling wobbly and with a full bladder, she got to her feet and made her excuses to go to the bathroom. Ellen got up with her and looped her arm through her friend’s.
“We’re girls,” Ellen called over her shoulder. “We always go together.”
“Well, what do you think?” Liv hissed at her as they made their way to the bathroom.
“He seems nice.”
Her voice was too high pitched and she didn’t meet Liv’s eye. Together, they pushed into the bathroom. A couple of other women were doing their makeup at the mirror. The place smelled faintly of bleach.
“Nice?”
“Yeah. I mean, he’s handsome and he’s obviously successful, and he seems to really like you a lot ...”
Liv stopped in surprise. “You don’t like him, do you?”
“I didn’t say that!” she protested.
“You didn’t need to. I could tell just by the tone of your voice.”
Ellen turned to face Olivia. “Oh, sweetie. I don’t know what it is. Maybe he’s just not my kind of person. Or he’s trying too hard or something.”
“He’s nervous. It’s a big thing meeting you guys, and you all come across so close. It’s hard for a man to fit into a group of women like this.”
“Yeah, I know. But since when did you start not eating cured meat?”
“Michael says it’s better for you. Is that okay? Is he allowed to recommend things to me, or should he have no effect on my life whatsoever?”
“You had a ham sandwich at lunch,” she pointed out.
“So? It doesn’t mean I have to follow his advice all the time. I can cut down, you know.”
She flapped her hands. “Just ignore me. You’re right. I’m still sore from the breakup with Ryan. I’m kind of anti-men at the moment. You could have walked in here with Ryan Reynolds and I wouldn’t have approved.”
“That’s just because he’s called Ryan.”
“Yeah, probably.” Ellen gave a laugh that didn’t sound real.
“How are things going with the two of you?” Liv probed tentatively, hoping that Ryan would have been in touch with her and told her the truth of what was going on. At least then she wouldn’t have needed to hide anything from Ellen.
“They’re not.” She sighed. “He still won’t answer any of my calls or texts. It’s weird. Since he moved out, it’s like he’s just vanished from the universe. He’s blocked me on all social media, too. I definitely feel like he’s hiding something.”
Now would be the right time to mention her seeing him, and the younger model and the pregnancy, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to say the words. It would upset Ellen, and though she knew how selfish she was being, she didn’t want the evening ruined. Besides, it would be better to tell her something like that in private, not in the middle of a busy bar toilet.
“Oh, Elles, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sure he’s moved in with a new girlfriend or something. How else would he be able to afford two rents, unless he’s shacking up with someone else and isn’t paying anything to her yet?”
“Well, we could always get somewhere together after my lease runs out on this place. Tammy can be a total headache at times.”
Ellen’s expression brightened. “Yeah? What about Mr Tall Dark and Handsome? You don’t think you might end up heading down that route with him.”
“Ellen, it’s only been a few weeks!”
“True.”
Was that even a possibility? The idea of growing that close to another person made her panicky. In fact, she wasn’t sure she’d even be able to live with Ellen. The good thing about Tammy was that she had her own life and pretty much stayed out of Olivia’s. Other than nagging about chores around the flat, Tammy didn’t bother to get into Liv’s affairs.
“Anyway,” Ellen said, pointing to one of the stalls and hopping up and down, “I’m busting.”
“Oh, sure.”
Liv used one of the stalls as well, and tried to ignore the sickly feeling that had appeared in her stomach at the news that Ellen didn’t like Michael. Hadn’t she suspected this would happen? That was the whole reason she hadn’t really wanted them to meet in the first place. Sure, Michael wasn’t perfect, but who was? Certainly not her. She knew better than most how un-perfect people could be, despite what they showed on the surface, and considering her history, she wasn’t one to judge. But Ellen didn’t know about any of that, and she obviously thought Liv deserved someone better.
But her friend didn’t know her.
Liv didn’t deserve anyone at all, not really, and especially not someone like Michael.
THE REST OF THE EVENING passed pleasantly enough, though Liv found herself conscious of what Ellen had said about not liking Michael. She watched their interactions with too much intensity, trying to figure out exactly what it was her friend didn’t like. But by the time eleven p.m. rolled around, they were all tipsy on the wine and seemed to be getting on. Olivia’s concerns melted away as she said goodbye to her friends and looped her arm through Michael’s.
“Shall we get a taxi back to yours?” he asked as they walked up the street.
Liv kept her face pressed into his shoulder, partly to stay close to him, but also because she was still worried she’d be recognised. “What about your place? I haven’t even seen it yet.”
“Maybe another time. It’ll cost us twice as much in taxi fares.”
“Oh, sure.” She tried not to feel the dip of disappointment inside her. “But we will go back to your place sometime, won’t we? It feels strange that I don’t even know where you live.”
He laughed. “You know where I live. In Woodford.”
“Yeah, I know the area, but I don’t know what your house looks like.”
He tugged her into his body and kissed her. “I’ll invite you over for dinner, sometime, I promise.”
“Deal,” she said, though she noticed he hadn’t actually given her a date.
A black cab with its light on was driving along the other side of the street. Michael lifted a hand to wave it down, and it did a U-turn and pulled alongside the curb behind them. They switched direction to reach the taxi, but as they approached the vehicle, a second man swooped in, pushing in front.
Michael pulled up short. “Hey, that’s our taxi.”
The guy was a typical London tough-guy, with a shaved head, tattoos, and sports branded clothing. He shrugged, his fingers still on the door handle. “Don’t think so, mate. I was the one who flagged it down.”
Michael’s dark eyebrows pulled down as he glowered at the man. Liv stayed close, and she could feel the tension building in his shoulders. “No, I signalled it. That’s why he pulled over.” Michael looked to the taxi driver, who shook his head and lifted his hands, his way of saying, ‘sort it out between you.’
“Just leave it.” Liv tugged on Michael’s arm. “We can get another one.”
She didn’t want for them to get into a fight. You never knew who was carrying knives these days. It was in the papers all the time, about how someone got stabbed over the most ridiculous of things—road rage, or because they’d looked at someone funny. Besides, she didn’t want to be involved in anything that might cause her extra attention.
“No, it’s fine, Livvy. This was our taxi, and this gentleman is going to let us take it, isn’t that right?” He turned to the man, facing him, their bodies only inches apart. “You’re going to let us take this taxi now, aren’t you?” Michael repeated, staring straight into the other man’s face.
The man faltered. “Oh, err, yeah. Fine. I’ll get the next one.”
He moved past him and opened the back door, then nodded to Olivia to get in. The tough guy stepped back a little to let her pass, and watched as they both climbed into the back seat.
Michael leaned forward and told the driver where they needed to go then sat back again. The other man still stood on the street, watching them.
“That was amazing,” Liv said. “How did you do that? I was sure he was going to start a fight.”
“I have a way of getting what I want.”
“Oh, yeah? Do you think you could get what you want from me?” She was flirting, and she knew it. But watching him stare down the other man had been kind of sexy, and she’d had a couple of glasses of wine that night.
“You’d better believe it.” He gave her a wink.
Liv laughed. “I’d better be careful around you, then.”
Chapter Twenty
Two Weeks Earlier
THEY TUMBLED INTO HER flat, laughing and kissing. Liv tugged Michael’s jacket from his shoulders, dropping it to the floor as they stumbled over to the sofa. He sat down, pulling her with him. She swung her leg over his, so she straddled his thighs, their lips not parting for a moment.
Olivia was so involved in where Michael’s hands were going, she barely noticed Tammy clearing her throat in the archway that led through to the open plan kitchen.
“Oh, sorry,” she said, pulling away from Michael and widening her eyes at him. “I didn’t know you’d still be up.”
Tammy’s lips thinned. “Well, I clearly am, aren’t I? And I don’t exactly want to be kept awake by the sound of you two shagging all night.”
Liv took Michael’s hand and pulled him to his feet. “That’s okay. We can go to my room.”
“I’ll still be able to hear you.” She scowled.
“Wear some headphones,” she shot back, hating how Tammy was making her feel bad just for bringing someone back. Ignoring her flatmate, who remained standing in the same place, shooting them both daggers, Liv pulled Michael into her bedroom, where she shut the door on Tammy.
“I told you we should have gone back to your place,” she said beneath her breath. “My flatmate can be a total nightmare.”
Normally, Tammy would have taken herself out for the weekend by now, but it didn’t look as though she was going anywhere. Maybe her plans got cancelled, and that was why she was still here. Liv hoped that didn’t mean she’d be around all weekend.
He pulled her in, fitting her against his body. “We can be quiet,” he whispered in her ear.
“Isn’t it just easier to go back to your place? We can be as loud as we want, then.” She knew she was pushing him a little, but she really wanted to see more into his life. He’d spent a weekend at her flat already, and it only seemed fair that she got to spend the weekend at his place as well. Besides, the thought of spending the entire weekend tiptoeing around Tammy if she stayed home was horrendous. “You did promise me dinner, remember?”
He sat on the edge of her bed and tugged her down to sit beside him.
“Livvy, I would love to cook you dinner, but the kitchen is a disaster. A pipe burst behind one of the walls and flooded the whole thing. The place is completely unusable.”
This was the first he’d mentioned about it, but she didn’t challenge him. “Oh, no. What a nightmare. How have you been cooking?”
“I haven’t. It’s been coffee shops and takeaways for the past few days.”
“When will it be fixed?”
“Not for a good couple of weeks, at least. A plumber came straight out and fixed the pipe, but everything is saturated. I’ve got big machines in there roaring away to try to take all the moisture out of the floor and walls, but the whole lot is probably going to have to come up so I can get new floors laid.”
She pulled a face. “I hope you have good insurance.”
“Yes, thank God.”
“You know you can hang out here as often as you want until it gets fixed. It’s going to cost you a fortune in takeaway food if you can’t use your kitchen for a couple of weeks.”
He patted his rock-hard, flat stomach. “Won’t be great for the waistline either.”
“What’s this?” Tammy’s head popped around the door, and she hadn’t even bothered to knock. “Sorry, but I couldn’t help overhearing you inviting Michael to stay.”
Liv rolled her eyes. She couldn’t believe her flatmate had been listening in on their conversation. “Tammy, you’re hardly ever here, which is fine by me, so you won’t even notice Michael being around.
“This place isn’t leased to three people.”
“It won’t be forever, Tammy. His house flooded.”
Tammy scowled, her hands folded across her chest. “There’s enough mess in this place without adding another person to it.”
“He won’t leave a mess,” she said in exasperation. “He’s not a child.”
Michael lifted his hands and waved. “Hey, I am here. You don’t need to talk over me. But look, I don’t want to cause any problems.”
“You’re not,” Liv snapped. “Tammy is the one causing problems, as usual.”
Her eyebrows shot up her forehead. “As usual? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“That you have a damned stick up your arse most of the time.”
Her mouth gaped open and shut. “How dare you!”
“Well, it’s true. You party all weekend and then spend the first half of the week on a comedown.”
“You’re hardly averse to a glass of wine yourself, you know?”
“Yeah, a glass of wine. That’s all.”
“You were so drunk the other day, you left the flat door wide open. Don’t make out to me you’re little miss perfect, ’cause I know the truth about you better than anyone.”
Her insides jolted at Tammy’s words. “What?”
“I know you’re on meds. It’s no wonder you can’t remember stuff when you’re drinking alcohol on top of all that stuff.”
She froze, horribly conscious of Michael beside her. She hadn’t discussed any of that stuff with him, and had hoped to never have to. Maybe it wasn’t good to keep something like that a secret from him, but she had far worse secrets to hide. She was frightened that opening that door would lead to others. She preferred for Michael to think she was perfect. Knowing about the medication was bound to cause him to start asking questions about her past and there were things she wanted to forget ever happened.
Tammy’s gaze flicked to Michael, and a slow smile spread across her face. “Oh, whoops.” She touched her fingertips to her lips. “Michael didn’t know yet, did he? My bad.”
“You bitch,” Liv snarled.
Her head tilted to one side. “I’ve done you a favour. Now you won’t have that awkward ‘how can I tell him’ moment.”
Olivia leapt to her feet, but Michael’s hand on her arm stopped her from launching herself at her flatmate. “Just leave it, Liv. It’s not a big deal, I promise.”
Tammy flashed them one last false smile then vanished from the doorway.
“It is a big deal. She shouldn’t be telling you my personal business.”
“I meant that it’s not a big deal if you’re on medication of some kind.”
She sank back onto the bed beside him. “You don’t know what kind of meds they are.” Her stomach churned with nerves. This had never been part of the plan. She should have been more careful and hidden the tablets better from Tammy. It should have occurred to her that Tammy would have used them against her.
“Look at me, Livvy.”
Feeling guilty, she turned to face him. He fixed his dark eyes on hers, his touch on her arm increasing in pressure.
“Tell me what the meds are for?”
His voice was firm, and she didn’t feel she could disobey. What was it with him? It was as though he was able to just suggest something to her, and she felt compelled to obey.
The thought sent a ri
pple of unease through her. Was such a thing even possible? No, of course it wasn’t. It was a ridiculous thing to even consider. Yet she found herself remembering the number of times he’d convinced her to go against what she’d really wanted. She’d thought at the time she’d agreed to please him, because they’d been a new couple and she’d wanted to make him happy, but was there more to it?
I won’t tell him what the medication is for, she thought, turning her face away from him.
“Olivia.” His tone was firm. “Tell me what you’re taking medication for.”
She lifted her eyes to his. She had to tell him. She didn’t want to, wanted to lie and pretend they were for something else entirely, but she couldn’t help herself.
“They’re antipsychotics,” she said in a whisper.
He frowned, his hand moving from her arm. “Antipsychotics? What are they used to treat?”
“I have anxiety. It got quite debilitating at one point, and I struggled to function. But I’m better now, as you can see. The medication keeps it under control.”
“I see.”
“Plenty of people have mental health issues at some point in their lives, Michael.” Her cheeks burned. “It’s not something to be ashamed of.”