‘Did you say, “scale Pug’s Peak”?’ said Sponge tremulously.
Mildew strode towards his friend and clasped a hand on each of his shoulders, staring into his eyes with what he hoped was a look of fierce determination.
‘I did,’ said Mildew. ‘And what’s more, we shall do it this very instant!’
‘What about art with Mr Riddell? We are supposed to be doing another drawing of the torments of the damned in hell.’
‘Oh, he’ll never notice once the room is filled with charcoal dust,’ said Mildew. ‘Come on!’
Mildew set off but his friend remained rooted to his step.
‘But scaling Pug’s Peak …’ said Sponge, his bottom lip wibbling.
‘Don’t you see, old friend?’ said Mildew. ‘Kenningworth will think we’ve made it up unless we bring back evidence.’
‘But I still don’t see how we will do that, Mildew,’ said Sponge.
‘I was just coming to that, old sprout,’ said Mildew triumphantly. ‘We shall take a piece of paper and a pencil and I shall draw it. Let them try and argue with that!’
‘You are a genius, Mildew,’ said Sponge.
Mildew did not see the need to argue.
The two friends headed out of the school and along the bracken-bordered track that led to the base of Pug’s Peak. Taking a deep breath, they began the ascent.
The drizzle had stopped but the bracken and the many spider webs that laced their way among the fronds were beaded with water droplets which twinkled as they caught the light from the milky morning sun.
‘Who would … gasp … ever have … gasp … thought … we would ever … climb a … gasp … hill … by choice?’ gasped Sponge as they finally neared the summit.
‘In … gasp … deed,’ said Mildew, taking a deep breath. ‘These are strange times, old … gasp … sausage.’
‘Look … gasp,’ said Sponge. ‘There!’
Sure enough, the boys could see something smooth embedded in the peaty earth. It was splashed with mud, and clumps of earth and stones had been thrown this way and that with the impact. Mildew and Sponge could feel the warmth still radiating from it.
‘I thought a meteor would be more … meteory,’ said Sponge as they peered at the curiously smooth, metallic-looking thing.
‘Me too,’ said Mildew.
The boys edged closer to the mysterious object and noticed that the visible part of it was only the tip of something much larger that was embedded in the ground.
‘Look, Sponge,’ said Mildew. ‘Can you see?’
There was the outline of a hatch in the whatever-it-was, with strange markings next to it.
Mildew reached out a shaking hand and rapped on the whatever-it-was with his knuckles. There was a hollow-sounding clang.
‘A hollow-sounding clang,’ observed Sponge. ‘That’s an odd sound for a rock to make.’
‘I think we may need to reassess our assessment that this is a rock, Sponge,’ said Mildew. ‘Rocks rarely clang in my experience. I think that whatever the whatever-this-is is, it seems to be some sort of vehicle.’
‘A vehicle?’ said Sponge. ‘What sort of a vehicle?’
‘A vehicle from the stars! A space-carriage!’
Sponge gazed in wonder for a moment before leaning forward and rapping on the space-carriage with his knuckles.
‘Hello?’ he called. ‘Hello? Is there anyone there?’
Mildew hurled himself towards his friend with uncharacteristic urgency, pulling him away.
‘Sponge!’ he hissed. ‘What on earth are you doing?’
‘I’m trying to introduce myself,’ said Sponge. ‘It’s only polite.’
‘Only polite?’ hissed Mildew. ‘We aren’t visiting your Aunt Bernard, Sponge. Who knows what kind of monsters might be inside.’
‘Monsters?’ said Sponge, taking several steps back.
‘Yes, monsters,’ said Mildew. ‘With teeth and boggly eyes and so forth.’
Sponge whimpered.
‘Luckily it seems as though the carriage is deserted. But we can’t be too careful. Finlay Feathering had a similar encounter recently in Lady Viola and the Vipers from Venus,’ said Mildew.
‘You don’t think they are snakes, do you, Mildew?’ said Sponge. ‘I don’t like snakes.’
‘They could be anything,’ said Mildew. ‘Anything at all.’
Sponge gasped and remembered his earlier glimpse of mysterious movements on the fellside.
‘You don’t think –’
‘Of course! I told you they weren’t sheep, Sponge,’ said Mildew.
‘No, you didn’t,’ said Sponge. ‘You told me they were!’
‘Let’s not bicker about the details,’ said Mildew. ‘The main thing is we seem to be dealing with a carriage of unknown origin and creatures from another world!’
Sponge whimpered.
‘I’m having a fit of the wibbles, Mildew.’
‘I’m feeling a touch wibblish myself, old mousse.’
‘What should we do, Mildew?’
‘I’m for steadfastly heading back to school before whoever-it-is or whatever-they-are come back,’ said Mildew.
‘Agreed,’ said Sponge.
‘But first …’ said Mildew.
He took out his paper and pencil and began to draw. After a couple of minutes he showed Sponge the smudged and spidery drawing.
‘Let them argue with that!’ declared Sponge.
he boys were insensible with exhaustion by the time they returned to the school, staggering and stumbling into the cloisters. Only their desire to inform the other boys kept them upright.
‘What’s the matter with you two?’ said Furthermore. ‘You look like you’ve been up Pug’s Peak and back.’
The rest of the boys erupted into laughter at the preposterousness of this thought.
‘We … gasp … have, actually,’ said Sponge, holding on to the door frame for support.
There was even more enthusiastic laughter. Mildew stepped forward and took a deep breath.
‘Modify your mirth,’ he said, swaying slightly. ‘My bristly-pated associate tells the truth.’
‘Pah!’ said Kenningworth. ‘Why on earth would you two lumps of trifle choose to engage in any exercise voluntarily?’
‘Because,’ said Mildew, ‘we were investigating the UFO!’
‘The UFO?’ said Furthermore.
‘The Unidentified Falling Object,’ said Mildew. ‘The one we mentioned earlier.’
Furthermore nodded.
‘Not this nonsense with the so-called meteor again?’ said Kenningworth with a groan.
‘That’s just it,’ said Mildew. ‘We don’t think it is a meteor now.’
‘Ha!’ said Kenningworth. ‘I knew you’d change your tune.’
‘We are not changing our tune!’ said Sponge.
‘We are a bit,’ said Mildew.
‘Oh – yes, I suppose we are.’
‘So if it isn’t a meteor, what is it?’ said Furthermore.
‘We believe it is some kind of carriage.’
‘A carriage?’ said Kenningworth. ‘What sort of carriage would fall from the sky, you chump?’
‘A carriage from the stars!’ cried Sponge. ‘A space-carriage!’
‘What? There’s no such thing,’ said Kenning-worth.
‘And yet there it is!’ cried Mildew, wide-eyed, pointing in the direction of Pug’s Peak. ‘And not only that, the things Sponge thought were sheep were quite possibly the alien occupants!’
‘You said they were sheep!’ said Sponge.
‘Never mind that now,’ said Mildew.
‘What?’ said Kenningworth.
‘We have been invaded by creatures from another world!’ cried Mildew.
His dramatic outburst was greeted by baffled silence from the listening boys. They looked over to the other side of the cloisters, where most of the girls were sitting together.
‘What are you blathering about?’ said Kenningworth eventually. ‘They are
a party of schoolgirls.’
‘Not them, you turbot,’ said Mildew. ‘Actual aliens. From a different planet. From Mars or Venus or some-such heavenly body. We saw them.’
‘What rot,’ said Kenningworth, turning to the others. ‘This is typical gibberish from them. Do you remember when they thought the school had been taken over by pirates?’
‘Arrr. It was taken over by pirates,’ said Enderpenny.
‘Aye,’ said Hipflask.
‘Yes, well …’ said Kenningworth, waving away this objection. ‘But what proof do you have for this poppycock?’
Mildew reached into his pocket and took out his drawing, laying it on the table and flattening it out.
‘There!’ he cried.
‘Oh my stars,’ said Furthermore in astonishment. ‘It’s true!’
‘Do you still have that telescope of yours, Sponge?’ said Enderpenny.
‘Yes,’ said Sponge.
‘Come on then!’ said Enderpenny.
The boys all set off to the dorm to get Sponge’s telescope. They had not gone very far before they once again came face to face with Milk and Spoon.
‘Hello again,’ said Spoon.
‘Hello,’ said Sponge.
‘Where are you going now?’ asked Milk.
‘Oh, we’re just –’
‘Ah,’ said the Headmaster, looming up behind them with his usual supernatural stealth. ‘How are you getting along with our guests?’
‘Famously, sir,’ said Mildew.
The other boys murmured in agreement.
‘Yes,’ said Spoon. ‘They are being most attentive.’
‘Excellent,’ said the Headmaster, who they now noticed had a small boy from the lower years in his charge.
‘But we don’t want to keep you, sir,’ said Enderpenny. ‘You look like you might be in a hurry.’
‘Oh – yes,’ he said. ‘Just delivering young Slipshod here to the healing arms of Nurse Leecham.’
At the sound of her name the school nurse opened the door to her office and peered at poor Slipshod.
‘’E needs bleedin’ again, sir,’ said Mrs Leecham.
‘But I’ve only twisted my ankle,’ said the mite as he was pulled inside the office and the bolts were rammed home. The Headmaster bowed his farewell and went away down the corridor, humming to himself.
‘My advice is, try not to have any need of medical attention during your stay in Maudlin Towers,’ said Mildew to Milk and Spoon. ‘But I’m afraid now we must dash as we are on a bit of a mission.’
The boys scampered to the dorm, grabbed the telescope from Sponge’s locker and then stealthily took the stairs to the roof. They edged along the parapet and among the many pinnacles, pediments and chimneys until they crowded together at the battlemented wall that gave them a clear view towards Pug’s Peak. Mildew took the telescope and peered into it.
‘I can just make it out,’ he said, handing the telescope to Enderpenny. ‘Look – just to the right of the highest rock.’
‘He’s right,’ said Enderpenny. ‘See, Kenning-worth?’
After a cursory look through the telescope, Kenningworth was forced to admit that there did seem to be something there.
‘But it could be anything,’ he was quick to add.
‘There’s nothing for it,’ said Enderpenny. ‘We need to go and take a look for ourselves.’
‘Imagine,’ said Furthermore, ‘if we should be the first humans ever to encounter alien life forms. That really would be something. Imagine what wonders we might discover. Think of what we might learn.’
‘Yes,’ said Kenningworth with sudden enthusiasm for the venture. ‘Imagine what the newspapers would pay for a story like that. I’m with Enderpenny and Furthermore. We need to go up there and see what’s what.’
‘Excellent idea,’ said Mildew, nodding sagely. ‘Sponge and I will have a reviving biscuit or three in the dorm and await your return with interest.’
‘You have to come as well,’ said Footstool. ‘You need to show us where it is.’
‘But –’ said Sponge with a hint of whimper.
‘Come on!’ said Kenningworth.
Mildew and Sponge hung their heads and followed the boys out of the school.
ildew and Sponge collapsed in twitching exhaustion as the boys reached the top of Pug’s Peak once again and all they could do was feebly point in the general direction of the mysterious object. It was several minutes before they had the energy to join their fellows in contemplation of it.
‘It could still be anything,’ said Kenningworth, staring at the mysterious object embedded in the peat.
‘Like what?’ said Furthermore, leaning forward.
‘I don’t know,’ said Kenningworth, flaring his nostrils. ‘I’m not an expert.’
Furthermore edged even closer.
‘These markings are interesting,’ he said.
‘Yes,’ said Mildew. ‘Sponge and I noticed those. What do you think they are?’
‘I rather think they may be letters or numbers,’ he said. ‘In a strange language.’
‘French?’ suggested Enderpenny.
‘Stranger still,’ said Furthermore.
‘Stranger than French?’ gasped Enderpenny in utter disbelief. ‘What wizardry is this?’
‘Look,’ said Furthermore, indicating a large flat button with a prod of his finger. ‘I wonder what this does.’
A door hissed open and the boys all took a step back and gasped, half expecting something to rush out. It was a few tense moments before they plucked up enough courage to push Mildew and Sponge towards the opening.
‘Go and see what’s in there, Sponge,’ said Kenningworth, giving him a helpful shove.
‘What?’ said Sponge, staggering forward. ‘Why me?’
‘Well said,’ said Mildew, pushing forward, giving Sponge a nudge of his own and sending his friend tumbling into the alien carriage. After a moment’s silence there came a small voice.
‘I’m all right,’ said Sponge feebly, his faint voice echoing.
‘What can you see?’ shouted Kenningworth.
‘Not a lot,’ said Sponge. ‘It’s very dark.’
‘Probably best not to touch anything,’ said Furthermore.
‘Oh,’ said Sponge. ‘I wish you’d –’
Sponge was suddenly jettisoned from the carriage, landing head first in the bracken behind them. The door hissed shut behind him.
‘I touched something,’ explained Sponge, getting to his feet. ‘Sorry.’
After much prodding, the boys had to accept the door was not going to open again. Kenningworth even kicked it a few times in frustration but succeeded only in hurting his toe.
‘Bizarre though it may be,’ said Furthermore, ‘it looks as though Mildew and Sponge are right in every regard. This does indeed appear to be some sort of craft or vessel from another world. And it does seem to have crash-landed on our planet.’
‘Nonsense,’ said Kenningworth. ‘It’s probably some old steam engine from Maudlin Mine.’
‘That can fly?’ asked Mildew. ‘And then somehow crashed back to earth?’
‘We only have your word for it that it crashed at all,’ said Kenningworth. ‘And your word is about as useful as a –’
Suddenly there was a great roaring noise that grew in volume until it was deafeningly loud and the boys looked up in horror to see a huge ball of fire rushing towards them out of the sky.
They threw themselves to the ground, each imagining it was their last moment alive, when, right at the last second, the plummeting object whooshed over them and landed a hundred yards away, making the earth shake and tremble. It was several seconds before they could hear anything but the roar of its passing.
‘What was that?’ said Sponge, shaking and trembling.
‘I think it was another of whatever this is,’ said Mildew, getting to his feet and pointing to the original mysterious object.
‘That’s rather a coincidence, don’t you think?’ said Furthermo
re as he was helped up by Hipflask.
The boys gathered together to look at the crash site of this new arrival.
‘Maybe it’s an invasion,’ said Enderpenny.
‘You think there will be more?’ asked Sponge, looking up at the clouds. ‘Because if you do I’m for heading back to Maudlin Towers.’
‘I think the pimple may have a point,’ said Kenningworth. ‘Why don’t we –’
But just at that moment a dazzling beam of light burst forth from the newly arrived craft and hit the boys. They froze – partly from fear but mostly because the beam of light itself seemed to have some sort of control over them.
‘Wigwagwigwagwigwagwigwag?’ said a booming voice.
here was something about the tone of the booming, mysterious voice that suggested a question but the boys had absolutely no idea what it was saying.
‘Wigwagwigwagwigwagwigwag?’ it repeated, but louder and more insistently.
The boys whimpered.
There followed what they assumed was a conversation between the owner of that booming voice and the owner of another booming voice, each equally unintelligible. After a while the boys heard something like a sigh and a clanking and wheezing noise.
After a few seconds the wheezing and clanking grew in volume and two massive mechanical spiders loomed menacingly into view.
The voice appeared to be coming from a glowing orb atop each of the spiders.
‘Aaaaaaargh!’ squealed the boys as the beam of light loosened its grip.
‘Wigwagwigwagwigwagwigwag?’ boomed the voice again.
‘We don’t understand!’ yelled Mildew. ‘Who are you? What do you want from us? And will it be painful?’
Another muttered alien conversation took place and then, out of the glare of the beam, two cables came snaking towards the boys and towards Mildew and Sponge in particular.
There was a suction cup at the end of each cable and they landed with a plop on to the quivering heads of Mildew and Sponge. After a few seconds, the suction cups plopped off again and the cables retracted as the two boys collapsed to the ground.
Attack of the Meteor Monsters Page 3