by Mary Wood
‘By, that’s sad. Come on in, lass, and sit yourself down. I’ve a pot on the go. You’ll be glad of some tea, I shouldn’t wonder.’
‘Ta, Missus.’
‘Ada. I’m Ada, and this is me nephew, Brendan.’
Brendan greeted the newcomer warmly, but Ada could see that he was mystified. ‘Betsy and our Jimmy were walking out afore Jimmy went to war,’ Ada told him. ‘Harold was the only one of the pals to come home. He and Betsy found love together, but I never knew that they had married or had children.’ Ada turned back towards Ginny. ‘Eeh, lass, it’s nice to meet you. Though I’m sad to the heart of me to hear of your mam’s and dad’s passing. Joe said you’d come looking for me?’
‘Aye, me ma still had the letter you sent her. She gave it to me and told me to come and find you, if ever I found meself on me own. I – I reckon she knew what me dad would do, after she were gone. Anyroad, she said she were sorry she didn’t keep in touch with you, but she thought it best. She said she got snippets of news about you, while me da was working for Lady Eloise’s charity, and was happy that you were fine and having a good life.’
‘Oh, Betsy, love her heart. She should have kept in touch. Was she happy? Were they both happy?’
‘Yes, they adored each other, they . . . I – I have sommat to tell you. It might come as a shock, though Ma said you might have guessed. She said she was sure you had noticed that she’d put weight on the last time you saw her, but you were so distraught she kept the truth from you. It’s why she never wanted to bother you.’
‘Oh, my God! No! I – I mean . . . Eeh, but please let what I’m thinking be so.’
‘You’re talking in riddles, the pair of you. What? What’s going on?’
‘Sommat absolutely wonderful, Joe, if I’ve guessed what Ginny came to say. Am I reet, lass? By, that red hair of yours – so like mine – tell me I am reet? Your dad were our Jimmy, weren’t it? You’re me granddaughter!’
‘I am, Ada.’
‘Oh, come here, me little lass, come here.’ Ada enfolded Ginny’s tiny body in her arms. Her heart beat loudly, sending joyous feelings sweeping through her. Jimmy’s child – her own Jimmy’s child!
Neither Brendan nor Joe spoke, and both stood looking aghast at her. Ada held Ginny away from her. ‘Look at her. Joe, Brendan – look at her, she’s so like me at her age. Her hair, her freckled face, her build . . . Oh, Ginny, this is a happy day for me. A happy, happy day. Sommat of me Jimmy lives on.’
Ginny’s face lit up with joy, but tears glinted in her eyes. ‘Me mam asked me to ask you to forgive her. She said that everyone accepted that I were me dad’s – Harold’s – child, because Jimmy had fallen out with her a couple of weeks before he left, and Harold had courted her a while then. But when they came on leave a few weeks later, Jimmy was sorry, and he and me mam promised themselves to each other. It was then that they went too far. Mam said that when she heard of Jimmy’s death, she were distraught, but she couldn’t get near you, as you were suffering so much. Then Harold was injured and came home, and he and his mam took care of her. He’d always loved Mam, you see.’
‘Did he know?’
‘Aye, she was truthful with him, and she told me he said, “Well, babby is growing in you, and I love you, so I’m bound to love babby. Besides, I loved Jimmy, so it’ll be an honour to bring up his child.” They never had any children of their own. But I was theirs – Harold was me dad in everything but name.’
‘Of course he was. And you could have none better. Harold Smithward was a grand lad. A grand lad.’
Joe moved forward and put his arms out towards Ginny. ‘You know, I were astounded when I spotted thee in the street. I thought I’d gone back years, to when me Ada were a young ’un, but I didn’t guess your story. Not even when you told me Betsy was your mam. But it’s grand to have you here, lass. How long can you stay?’
‘I – I hoped you’d take me in for a while. I won’t be any trouble, but me mam and dad’s cottage was a Mill cottage. Me granny – I mean, Harold’s mam – was allowed to keep it on, because her husband had been killed in an accident whilst working in the Mill. After she died, me dad was allowed to take on the rent, on account of him having been a Mill worker before the war, and returning wounded. But when he died, they contacted me and said they were sorry, but I had to find other accommodation. I needed a change. I needed to get away from folk who’d always pointed a finger at me and speculated about me, and were now condemning me dad for killing himself and leaving me alone. So I followed up on what Mam had told me about you being me real granny, and I came here.’
‘Oh, lass, you’re so welcome. None more so. Eeh, I can’t take it all in. Me own granddaughter.’ Ada hugged Ginny to her again. Inside, her emotions were churning – she had so much to take in, and all in such a short time, but the warming happiness welling up inside her enabled her to cope.
‘By, Ada, the lass must be as starving as your husband is, woman. And there’s a powerful, nice smell coming from that oven. Ginny can share Brendan’s dinner here, ’cause no one gets a share of my piece of steak-and-kidney pud. I love it too much.’
‘Joe! And less of the “woman” – show a bit of respect. Go and wash yourself, and it’ll be on the table when you come back. Eeh, men!’
Ada didn’t miss Brendan’s wink at Ginny. ‘And you needn’t start with your cheek, lad!’
‘Ha, I never said anything.’
Ginny giggled at this, further endearing herself to them all.
‘I’m Brendan. I’m not good at sorting out who is who, in family relationships, but I think I am your half-uncle, because your biological dad was my half-brother. But it is a bit more complicated than that, as he was also my cousin; so we’re cousins once removed, too – I think!’
‘Aye, I know. Me mam told me . . . and it was still talked of. I – I mean—’
Ada had turned away and was busy at the stove, but hearing that the scandal of her late husband Paddy having an affair with her sister Beryl was still talked about sent a shiver through her. She had to handle this, and handle it now. ‘I’m glad you know. But you’re not to worry about it, or be embarrassed. It’s all history. Me sister’s not a well lass, as you’ve probably been told. And despite the circumstances under which Brendan came into the world, none of it were his fault. There’s nowt that comes between our love for each other. He’s like a son to me, and has brought me a lot of comfort. Ha! That’s got him blushing.’
‘Aunt Ada, you’re naughty. Of course I’m blushing, but it’s with pride at your words, as well as the embarrassment they caused me. Ginny, that’s your granny right there: she says it as it is, no matter what. But you’ll never find a kinder or nicer person.’
The door to the stairs opened and Annie walked in. ‘My, I’ve nearly slept me life away. Weren’t any of you going to call me? I’m gasping for a Rosie Lee.’
‘Oh, you have the full set now, Ginny. This is Aunt Annie. Annie’s an honorary aunt. I’ll explain it all later. Aunt Annie, meet Ginny.’
‘Crickey-o’-Riley. You ’ave ter be related to Ada – you’re ’er spitting image.’
‘She’s our Jimmy’s child, Annie love. Can you believe it?’
‘Well, I go to sleep for an ’our, and yer leave me for three, then you present me with a grandchild of yours. Blimey, Ada, ’ow did that ’appen?’
‘Sit down, love, and I’ll explain everything. Come on, Joe, park yourself. Let’s get supper out.’
Ginny couldn’t believe how comfortable she felt among these people. They were a mixture of cockney, like Annie was; northern, like her granny and Joe were; and, well, she couldn’t quite place Brendan. He spoke with a posh accent, but occasionally mimicked all of them. Something in her felt very drawn to Brendan, to the point where she wondered if there was anything in the law that prevented half-relations marrying each other. But then she shook off the thought. Of course there would be – especially in their case, as the man who was her real grandfather had been Brendan�
�s dad!
Still reeling from grief for her parents, she nevertheless felt herself laugh properly for the first time since the matron of the hospital where she was nursing had sent for her and told her of her father hanging himself. At that point she’d thought she would never smile again.
It seemed these folk had encased her in love, and that – and the banter that existed between them – warmed her. But it was Brendan who caused her first tentative giggle, and it was Brendan who got her laughing. Having excused himself, he’d quickly changed out of the uniform he’d been wearing, into casual trousers and a shirt topped with a hand-knitted pullover, before they all sat down to dinner. Once they were all served, there had been an attempt to discuss his war plans, but he’d batted away most of the questions and had turned the conversation towards the antics of the three people he lived with, and who had brought him up. In a northern accent he’d said, ‘Eeh, Ginny lass, you’ll rue the day you knocked on that door. These three will split your sides with laughter, and won’t even know they’re being funny.’
Annie clipped his head, telling Brendan he wasn’t too big for a thick ear; and her granny and Joe had both given him a telling-off. Ginny had found herself laughing out loud.
‘What I’m wondering,’ Annie said, ‘is where’s Ginny going to lay ’er ’ead?’
‘She can have my bed. I can stay on the sofa until I have to go away next week,’ Brendan offered.
A silence fell. Ginny broke it. ‘Oh, naw, I couldn’t do that. I can stay in a hotel till I find sommat. I have some money.’
‘Naw, we’ll manage. Now I’ve found you, Ginny, I’m not having you go anywhere else. Brendan’s reet: you can take his room. You men can get that shake-me-down from the attic and we’ll put it in front of the fire in the parlour. I’ll set the kindling going, to air it through. Now, Ginny, tell us about yourself. We don’t even know what type of work you do.’
‘I’m a nurse. Me ma allus wanted to be a nurse, so she steered me in that direction. I’m hoping I’ll find a position down here. I could have stayed up north, as they offered me a room in the nurses’ hostel, but I felt disorientated, with all that I’ve told you about. Besides, knowing I had a granny down here, I were eager to find you. Especially given how me mam talked of you. She loved you very much, Granny, and missed you from the moment Jimmy died, as she said that was when she really lost you.’
‘Aye, it were all too much for me. I tried to explain, when she and I met that last time, and I could see as she was taken with Harold, so I gave me blessing to her. I didn’t want her riddled with guilt. Like you, lass, I had to get away. You’ve experienced the tongue-wagging and the finger-pointing of the folk up in Low Moor. They are salt-of-the-earth types and a good community, but a bit on the judgemental side, when it comes to sommat going on. I just wish your mam had answered me letter; but then I understand how she’d think it best to leave things alone. It sounds as though she had a lot on her plate.’
‘Ta. You understanding that helps a lot.’
‘Reet, first thing is that you’re very welcome. You settle in for a few days and find your feet, and then I’ll be able to help you find somewhere to work. Me friend is a doctor. Eeh, I’ve so much to tell you, lass. There’s a lovely place that offers help to folk, and it’s named after your real dad. To honour him. You see, me friend knows for certain that your dad weren’t no coward, and she started this charity. Me and Joe work there, and it could do with a nurse.’
‘Oh, that sounds grand. Ta ever so much, Granny.’ The name slipped off Ginny’s tongue as if she’d known this woman all her life. Well, all of them really, because that’s what it felt like – as if she’d always been a part of them.
As the meal came to an end, Ginny insisted on helping Ada and Annie clear the pots, while Brendan and Joe climbed up to the attic. As she passed a plate to Ada at the sink, Ginny had a sudden urge to cradle her in her arms. This woman, her granny, had been through so much, and yet she stood strong. Ginny thought she would take Ada as her inspiration, and not allow the hurt of losing her parents – and of finding out she wasn’t who she thought she was – to consume her. On a sudden impulse, she pulled her granny to her and held her close. Unable to stop the deluge of tears that came, she leaned heavily on Ada.
The gentle patting of her granny’s hand on her back soothed her, as did the kind and loving tone of Ada’s voice. ‘Now, now, lass. We’ve found each other. Naw regrets. Everything that happened did so for a reason. We’ve lived our lives apart till now, but I don’t blame your mam for that, nor your dad. They did what they thought was best. Betsy put it reet in the end, and that’s all that matters.’
Ginny knew her granny was right. Her ma and da had only ever thought of her, and what was right for her at the time. She lifted her head and dried her eyes on the pinny that her granny had wrapped around her. As she did so, she felt strength enter her. She would cope. She could go forward. She had a wonderful granny to help her do so.
4
Elka
July 1939 – Love Wins Through
Elka took a moment to compose herself as her carriage drew up outside the door of Jhona’s house on the corner of Dietla and Starowisina. Looking up at the huge, imposing building, she felt nervous. Was she doing the right thing in coming here? ‘That should be an end to it,’ Gos had said. What if she was turned away?
The door opened to her driver’s knock. A footman came down the steps, opened the carriage door and stood stiffly, waiting for Elka to alight. As she did so, her stomach muscles clenched. She glanced up towards the second-floor window. Jhona stood looking down at her from his apartment. He smiled, but didn’t leave the window to come down and greet her. It felt as if somehow she had been expected, and the stage was set for the next scene to be played out.
When she was shown into the office of the man she’d thought of as her grandfather, she saw that Gos was standing, waiting to greet her. ‘I thought you would come before now, Elka. I telephoned Petra and she said she had told you the truth two days ago. How is Ania?’
His tone had a warmth to it that she had never heard before. Stunned by this unexpected turn of events, she stammered her reply. ‘Sh-she is in shock, Dziadek Gos . . . I mean – oh, I don’t know what to call you.’
‘You may call me “Dziadek Gos” for now, although I have never been like a grandfather to you – not in the way I have been to Jhona and Isaac. But that was not because I didn’t love you both, but because I had difficulty in living a lie. Before he died, I told my son that I didn’t believe the story that came with you. But he chose to believe it, so I went along with it. As you grew up, I became even fonder of you both; but to show that would mean I was colluding with Petra, and I couldn’t do that. Tell me what Petra has told you, and if you believe it to be the truth.’
‘Please may I sit down?’
‘Of course.’
Elka crossed to the window seat, thinking that sinking into one of the elegant moss-green and gold, high-backed chairs would somehow diminish her. She had been shocked – and warmed – to learn that this man had loved her, and that his honesty had prevented him from showing it. Somehow it was as if she had found a friend and confidant.
‘Before you begin, I am sorry for my part in this, and it is bigger than you know. I went along with it – yes, disapprovingly, but I did so. I did that because of my own and Babcia Miriam’s great love for our son and for your mama, and because of our feelings for you children; but when you grew up, we asked that the truth be told. We did not want to deceive you and may have treated you in a way that seemed harsh and cold, because of how we felt. But we did not want the break from us to be as painful as I can see the break from Petra has been.’
‘I don’t want to break from you. But I cannot forgive Petra, and I feel nothing but a deep loathing towards her. Ania has been brought very low – the doctor has given her something for the shock. She has spent most of the last two days sleeping, but I didn’t feel I could leave her side, and I didn’t wa
nt to do this on the telephone. Petra didn’t tell me that you had rung. I cannot believe that all I have ever known has been a lie. Has Petra told you that our real mother isn’t dead?’
Gos listened to Elka in silence, as she related her mother’s story. His face had a troubled look, and when he finally spoke it was in a voice that held shame. ‘I have a confession. But please, when judging me, think of your mama – her love for you, her belief that your real mother was dead – and our great love for her. I know that, in shielding her, I did a great disservice to you and Ania, and that is partly what drove me to keep my distance from you. Guilt is a powerful thing.’ Clearing his throat, he hung his head. ‘I knew the part of the story Petra told about your real mother dying was untrue. Three men came here, when you were children. Investigators acting for your real mother, and trying to find you for her. I am sorry. Please forgive me, but in each case I denied knowing you.’
Elka found she couldn’t swallow, such was her shock. She wanted to pound this man with her fists, and to scream and scream at him.
‘Please try to understand. I couldn’t hurt your mama.’
‘I do understand.’ And she knew that she did, as a picture of her mama came to her. How heartbroken she would have been to have Elka and Ania taken from her. She hadn’t deserved that. But then neither had her real mother deserved all that she must have gone through. Oh, it is all so confusing. I feel anger towards Gos, and yet I understand. If only none of this had happened.
‘I only want your happiness now, and will do anything in my power to help you and Ania follow whatever path you decide upon.’
‘Thank you, Dziadek Gos. I am angry, but I can see why you took the action you did. A small part of me is glad that you did so. Mama’s life was not ruined, and neither was our childhood. We are women now, and able to deal with it. Our real mother must have suffered so much, though. You do understand that all I want is to go to her?’