by Senna Fisher
“Hmm. And you Princess. Why do you do what you do?”
“I like the children and like you, I like the power to be able to help or protect them. I used to do general work, until one day I helped a little boy get away from his abusive father. It gave me a wonderful sense of pride and achievement. So I started working with traumatized children. Of course, that meant I also had to give evidence in court. That’s how I met Jono. I also will never have children and I act as a surrogate mother to these kids. I...”
“Why not?”
“Why not what?”
“Why won’t you have children?”
“Ur.., I can’t explain. I don’t really want to answer that question. Let’s talk about something else.”
He was silent for a while, deciding whether to insist, but he realized that it was a painful subject for her, so he left it alone. I will get it out her someday.
“Jono wants to do something different for their anniversary this year. Any ideas?”
“I don’t know. Jackie is complaining that they never go away, so I am sure she would like to go away somewhere to celebrate. But Jono will complain that he sees her all the time anyway and all he is doing is the same thing, but without his home comforts. I’m sure he will prefer a party with other people. He likes his male bonding sessions.”
“Yes, I guess you are right. That’s perfect.”
“What’s perfect?”
“That they go away somewhere with all their friends. A nice getaway. That’s a good idea, Rebecca.”
“I didn’t say that!”
“Ah, but that has to be the answer. This way they both get what they want.”
“All right, I suppose so.”
“Yes. Make sure you are available on weekend of the twenty-third. It gives you two weeks to keep the boyfriends away.”
“No way. I do not socialise with Jono’s legal friends. I keep away from the lawyers outside of work. That is probably why you and I have never met before.”
“Jono does not socialize with many lawyers. Most of his friends are in fact from Jackie’s world. He likes the arty type. Apart from me, I am sure there will be no lawyers there and I promise I will not ask you to analyze anybody.”
“I don’t know. Speak to Jono about that first.”
“I will do. But keep the weekend free, especially since Monday is also a public holiday.”
“Okay, okay.”
They chatted about other things and eventually left Monet’s at four that afternoon. Clayton was not in a hurry to get anywhere and when they got to her office, he followed her inside the building. Denise was sitting at the front desk, eyeing him curiously.
“Denise, this is Clayton. I gather you have spoken on the phone.”
“Yes, I am so pleased to meet you at last.”
She was smiling and gushy to him and was trying to work out why her boss had refused to take calls from such a dish, who, according to Tim, called her princess. He was so sexy and charming that she giggled at everything he said to her.
“Yes, Denise, I am extremely pleased to meet you. You have been a kind and sympathetic soul to me. I am most grateful.”
He lifted her hand and kissed it. Denise was so thrilled.
“Come along, Mr Charmer. Let’s go before the gossip starts.” Rebecca whispered to him.
“I am afraid I must go. Princess is demanding my attention.”
He laughed at Denise’s wide eyes.
She shut the door as soon as he was inside.
“Thanks a lot. I can imagine the stories that will be made of this. Would you like some coffee?”
“No, I must be going back to my office. I will speak to you soon, okay?” and he was gone.
~ ~ ~ ~
Clayton was disturbed by his desire for this woman and his strange behaviour when she was around. More importantly he was concerned by his bizarre need to touch her. He wanted so desperately to touch her back that it drove him crazy. He was also disturbed by the strong emotions he experienced when he was around her. He had almost felt her pain when she spoke about not having children and he had the urge to protect and comfort her. This was not his style at all. He had never discussed his passion for his work with any women except Suzanne and she had never understood. Here was Rebecca, a stranger, and she had needed no real explanation. He had been touched by her understanding of him and who he was. I am being silly. She is a psychologist. That is what they do, listen to people. His attraction to this woman was affecting his brain. He had gone there just to apologise, but had found himself unable to leave. The story he had concocted about Jonathan’s anniversary surprised him. All Jonathan had said as that his anniversary was in two weeks’ time. He had built an opportunity for himself to see her again. He had better confess his sins to Jonathan fast. This was not his style. He had long learnt that his ‘love them and leave them’ attitude towards woman was perfect. They did not bother him with lies and manipulations and he did not bother with them at all. After sex was home time, neat and simple. Jonathan called it his ‘hit and run’ strategy. He was trying to reason with himself about these things when he passed Jonathan’s office.
“Hey, lazy bones. Where have you been? Lorraine is going crazy looking for you. It seems you went out for a few minutes and didn’t return. So who is your new lover?”
“Lover? No, I was just distracted.”
“Loraine is convinced that there is some woman keeping from work and that I know all about it. She tried your cell phone a zillion times.”
“Oh, she worries too much. Jono, I need to speak to you, okay?”
“Yes, but I am going to meet Jackie at the Craft Centre in about two minutes. Why don’t you join us? We haven’t seen you there for quite a while.”
“Sure, I will be there a little later. I am meeting Brad for drinks there, so I guess that is perfect. Let me go and sort out a few things first.”
He went to his office, where Lorraine gave him an earful about not telling her where he was going, but he was not listening. He told her to go home and that seemed to keep her quiet. She was caring, but sometimes it got to him, because she treated him like one of her four kids.
*****
Chapter 6
At the Craft Centre, Jonathan and Jackie had clearly been talking about him. They had that guilty look he knew so well.
“Hello Clay,” Jackie hugged him tightly. He liked it when she hugged him like that, because she only did it when he needed it. She had always understood him and had taken care of him and he loved her for it.
“So, who is the lucky fish who gets you to play hooky?”
“There is no-one, I promise Jackie. The problem is that your husband only thinks about sex. I spent the afternoon with Rebecca.”
They were flabbergasted.
“Our Rebecca, the one who refuses to speak to you?” Jackie was surprised.
“The very same. I went over to her office to apologize, but we got talking and then we went out for lunch. We talked for a while and before long, the afternoon had slipped away. Don’t look so shocked. I was completely civil and it was quite pleasant.”
“Pleasant, Clayton? Don’t give me that. Nobody spends hours at a lunch which is ‘pleasant’. Come on, give us the details.”
“No, it was nothing like that. I admit it was different, but not in the way you are thinking, Jono. She is a very unusual woman and I like being with here. I like who I am when I am with her, you know?”
“Clay, what is going on?” Jackie was not to be side-tracked.
“Okay, I don’t know. I can’t really explain, but, there are these things that excite and disturb me about her.”
They were silent as he spoke about his desire to touch her, protect and how he sometimes felt her pain. They were too stunned to interrupt. Clayton was not a romantic man, so they had no comprehension of the way he was speaking about Rebecca.
“It is all disturbing and strange. I don’t really know what is going on. I do stupid things. By the way you will be havin
g your anniversary at some sexy getaway with a couple of friends.”
“Clayton, you have lost your marbles? What are you on about?”
“It sort of came up in conversation, while I was plotting how I could get to see her again without being pretentious. We discussed it and that’s what we came up with.”
“Clayton, while I do not accept your sex-driven motives, I think you are on to something. Jackie, why didn’t we think of that before? A lovely getaway. You get away and I get to keep my friends. Clayton, you and your girlfriend are very clever. Hmm, I like it very much.”
“J darling, keep quiet. Let Clayton finish his story. Will she agree to come with us Clay?”
“My dear. That is where you come into the picture.”
“Ah... a woman’s work is never done. I am to convince her?”
“Yes, but I think she will come anyway.”
“I doubt that Clayton. She is a closed, elusive person. She is not big into parties and social events. Anyhow, she called you an arrogant man and such like things. She was not pleased with you.”
“Yes, an arrogant swine that must get a life. I know. She told me.”
“No. no. It is worth a shot, Clay. After all, you just spent the whole afternoon with a woman who told me she would never speak to you again. Why did she agree to go anywhere with you? Clayton, did you threaten or blackmail her?”
“Oh Jackie, don’t be so melodramatic.”
Clayton laughed. “I simply asked nicely. I admit I was surprised by her response. I expected her to have me removed from the building. But she was very sweet and polite.”
“Yes, I wonder why she even spoke to you. She is a calm, rational woman, you know.”
“No darling, not where he is concerned. There is nothing rational about talking to a man who accuses you of having his imaginary butterfly. That is completely strange. Also, Clay didn’t you accuse her of having an affair with Jono?”
“Well, yes, it was a misunderstanding….”
“No, there is nothing rational about her at all. She should have given you the boot. You have behaved poorly. She must feel so intimidated.”
“She is not the type to be intimidated. She is very strong and professional. Every fool has tried that with her in cross-examination and she simply talks, as if she is discussing the weather. Pompous Paul really hates her. He tries to push her, frighten and threaten her and she just looks at him like he needs help. He is the one who leaves the court room feeling intimidated. So your accusations would not have bothered her much.”
“But, it was my butterfly. I am sure about that. It really shook me when I saw it.”
“Clayton, have you ever considered the possibility that it is just a common species of butterfly that anyone might have?”
“Yes, of course I did. I went onto the Internet to try and find it. It does not exist. Anyway, it is different because it has one small colourless patch. I tell you, it was the same butterfly. It was a complete shock to me that my butterfly on some woman’s butt. I wanted to know where she got it from.”
“Did she ever tell you about it?”
“No, because I was being rude and offensive and she swore at me. That is where it ended.”
“Why don’t you simply ask her? She might know about butterflies and can tell you where to find them.”
“No. I am not telling some psychologist about my ‘communications’ with a non-existent butterfly. She will have me committed.”
They laughed at the description of his dilemma.
“Clay, you did say it was your butterfly just now. But I guess it sounds crazy when you say it like. I am seeing her tomorrow. I will ask her about the butterfly, okay Clay?”
“Yeah, okay. I really want to know about it.”
“But Clayton, what does it mean? You think you saw a butterfly a few years ago and she has the same species. What does it matter?”
“My friend, I don’t know. I just need to know.”
Clayton went home feeling light-hearted about being able to talk to his friends about these disturbing events. They had not cleared the issues for him, but it was good to at least talk without them ridiculing him. His drinks with Brad had him laughing and joking, and enjoyed the causal banter of Brad’s colleagues who took his mind off Rebecca for a few moments. Brad was watching him cautiously a lot of the time, but he never mentioned their conversation about Rebecca. Clayton was not ready to have that discussion. He was beginning to think he had lost his mind. She had that effect on him. He was stronger in his conviction about one thing: that was his butterfly he had seen and it meant something. Anyway, he was glad that it was with her. It had been kind to him and it would be kind to her. He went to bed, warm with feelings of her, her dancing eyes smiling at him.
~ ~ ~ ~
When they left, they were a little concerned about their friend. This butterfly business was surfacing again. Jonathan thought it came up when Clayton felt stressed or trapped, and it made him feel better.
“I don’t even know if she has it on her butt as he says. Think about it Jackie. We were there when it happened. Why did we not see it?”
“Oh Jono, because you are not in lust with her. Clayton would notice any part of her body. Don’t you remember how you would peek at my breasts every time I leaned over? That is lust. You miss nothing.”
“Fair enough, we might not have noticed. But you must accept that there is a possibility that he was just hallucinating, that he was associating her with the butterfly. He said it had comforted him. He also said he liked being around Rebecca. Do you see? There is no butterfly. It is in his head.”
“But if she does have the butterfly, what does it mean?”
“That it is a common species, of course, or even a rare species. It does not matter. It means nothing. This is all crazy. What about Rebecca?”
“Yes?”
“What must she be making of all this?”
“Yes, dear, but she has not resisted him. That is the most interesting part.”
“Poor Rebecca, what she must be thinking!”
*****
Chapter 7
Rebecca could not concentrate on anything. She packed her bags and went home. On the way, she thought about how she wanted him, how sexy he was and how he made her laugh. She had been completely mesmerised with the passionate way he spoke about his work. She truly liked him, with all his contradictions. She smiled when she thought how he had a small splat of blue ink inside his hand. Here he was, neat, tidy and precise in his style, but he never noticed that he had ink on his hand. But she worried too, because he did not touch her or try to touch her. Most men would at least find some excuse, but he did not. It had been so strange, the way his eyes would change from icy blue to dark blue when he spoke. She wished she could read his mind, or his eyes. She wished so many things.
But by the time she got home, the cold really of her situation dawned on her. It was only 4.30 in the afternoon and she could feel The Darkness. It was definitely getting stronger. It had never appeared before dark before. She went inside and tried to banish it, but it took her two hours before she felt its power weaken. What has sparked this sudden brave strength?
She phoned her parents, wanting to be comforted.
“Sweetpea, how are you? Your mother has being going crazy. She is worried about you. What is the problem, Sweetpea?”
“Oh Dad, you worry too much. I am fine. I just wanted to chat. How are things with you two?”
“We are fine. What is going on with you?”
“Dad, I am fine. I have been a bit busy and concerned about one of my children. Dad, I am curious. Where does my butterfly come from?”
“Why, Sweetpea?”
“Just curious, I guess. I haven’t seen one like it and a man saw it on me and recognised it.”
There was a long silence.
“I don’t know, baby, but ask your mother. Here she is.”
“Mum. Are you alright? Dad says you have been worrying.”
“Yes, of
course. It’s just that I have had an odd feeling lately. Also, Nana keeps coming to tells us about a white tiger. I was afraid for you.”
Rebecca recognised her mother’s fear and guilt. She could never forgive herself for bringing a child into the world to carry such a burden.
“Oh, Mum, don’t worry about that. I asked her to help me find out who he was. She also told me about the white tiger. I have no idea what it means. Also, I did have a weird experience today. It came to me in the afternoon while I was coming from work. It seems to be getting stronger. It took me hours to get rid of it. That’s what must have been worrying you.”
“Oh, my baby. Get a pen. I will give you a recipe for a special bath. It should keep it at bay for a while. What’s this about your butterfly?”
“What country is it from? I met a man who recognised it, so I just wondered.”
“That is impossible, dear. He could not have recognised it because it does not exist. Theresa made it up especially for you. It had to be unique, so It could not identify it or figure out its magic. He must have seen something similar. Okay, take down this recipe. You must use this bath every night until it gets weaker, okay?”
Rebecca listened to the instructions and felt a lot better. She had been starting to believe that Clayton was on to something about the butterfly. Okay, so he is not from The Darkness. Great. But what?
She went to bed feeling a little sad. She would have been very happy with him, if things were different. That night, there was no Darkness and she slept peacefully after a long time.
~ ~ ~ ~
George and Rowena Raymond did not sleep well that night. They chatted till the early hours of the morning.
“George, there is no way he could have recognised it unless he is the Protector. He has arrived. I am sure.”
“But, honey, why did she not recognise him? The first time we met, we knew. I knew that I was to protect you the moment I set eyes on you. Why does she not know? And him? Why does he say nothing?”