by N. C. Reed
“Also true,” Leon nodded. “It ain't no easy thing to be thinking on. And I can't really say I got any particular body in mind at the moment. Be ideal to find some more youngsters like Gordy's friends. Boys and girls who aren't afraid of hard work and will grow into good people. Be nice to leave them behind as a seed group to start things over if they ever get the chance.”
“You know, Leon,” George chuckled, “anyone heard you saying all that back before the lights went out would have thought you was going soft.”
“I am,” Leon laughed a little himself. “Plumb soft.”
–
Angela Sanders visited the new orphanage the day after Bryon Jessup was laid to rest. With the attack on the farm and the upheaval of the Webb family departing followed by the suicide of Bryon Jessup, few people had given much thought to the group and Angela admitted she was no exception.
Ophelia Hunley had gone gone with the Webb family she discovered, not having realized this beforehand. The young woman had known the Webb family quite well so it made sense for her to stay with them if possible rather than stay with others she didn't know and who had admittedly not wanted her around.
The other four women were there to stay however and she needed to see how they were settling in.
“Ma'am,” Callie Weston answered the door when Angela knocked.
“Miss Weston, how are things going?” Angela asked as she entered the house.
“We're trying to get settled in and shaken down,” the younger woman replied. “So far it's been fine, all things considered.”
“What things?” Angela asked.
“Well, there are a dozen children here other than our own and none of us know them,” Callie admitted. “Only a few can tell us their names, and none can tell us their last names. Three should probably still be in diapers and have no idea of potty training, and those who do are having to relearn using a chamber pot or else running for the bath house. None of them can go through the night without needing the bathroom yet and they are all constantly hungry it seems, my own son included.”
“So, pretty much normal for a house full of small children,” Angela ventured a small smile and saw it returned.
“Pretty much,” the young woman returned the smile, albeit cautiously.
“Are you getting enough milk?” Angela asked.
“It's probably not quite enough for so many, but it's more than they've been getting, so it's an improvement regardless,” Callie shrugged.
“We only have a few cows that produce milk,” Angela told her. “And these are not the only children on the farm. It has to go a long way.”
“Like I said, any is better than what they've been getting,” Callie nodded. “No one is complaining.”
“What are you doing about the bed situation?”
“We used the thicker blankets and made pallets on the floor,” Callie replied. “It may not be entirely comfortable, but again it's more comfortable than anything we've had recently, so no one is complaining. And it's more than comfortable enough to allow everyone a good night of sleep, especially since we don't. . .I mean. . .since we can sleep through the night,” the girl stammered a little. “Other than children waking up needing the bathroom, things go quietly at night.”
“How are you dealing with those who don't make it through the night?” Angela asked.
“We got a few diapers with the clothes that were sent up, so we use them at night, and then wash them during the day,” Callie replied. “We use some plastic beneath the sheet they lay on and that prevents anything but the top sheet from getting wet or soiled, and then we wash it the next day or as needed. It's not perfect, but it's working.”
“Who was at-” another young woman appeared and cut herself off suddenly as she saw Angela. “Hello Mrs. Sanders,” Tammy Denmark said quietly.
“Miss Denmark,” Angela nodded, smiling. “I was just checking to see how you all are doing.”
“Fine, thanks,” she nodded. “I was about to lie down, Callie,” Tammy looked at her house mate. “Trisha and Joselyn are gone with all but the four youngest and they're all down for a nap.”
“Okay,” Callie nodded. “I’ll look in on them in a few minutes. I hope you can rest. It's certainly the best time to try if everyone is out.”
“Hope so,” she nodded. “Nice to see you Mrs. Sanders.” With that the girl disappeared back into the house, leaving Angela and Callie Weston alone again.
“Sleeping?”
“She had the night shift last night,” Callie nodded at Angela's question. “She has to try and get what rest she can during the day. Right now, Trisha Bonham and Joselyn Moore have taken all but the smallest children down to the school and day care and will stay there with them. Now is her best chance to get some sleep. She will be up at night for the next two or three nights and then we’ll change out. Someone is awake all the time.”
“That's a good plan,” Angela nodded. “There should be others awake as well, standing guard and what not.”
“There is always one person on the tower, and we hear the roving patrol once in a while as they make their rounds,” Callie nodded.
“Are the children getting enough to eat?” Angela asked.
“Yes. We have to go and do some extra preparation for some of them. Chopping up their food and things like that,” she explained. “It's plain fare, but that's good for them. Most of them haven't been eating too good. Honestly none of them have. This is the best food any of them have had in months.”
“Hopefully the gardens will come in early and give us more fresh food,” Angela commented. “It sounds like you four have worked things out between you quite well.”
“None of us want to leave,” Callie admitted. “Making sure there are no problems up here seems to be the best way to make sure that happens.”
“Sounds like a good plan.”
–
“We still need to find mattresses for the children at the orphanage,” Angela said that night at supper.
“Not this again,” Clay groaned. “Can you not even let me eat a single meal in peace?” he asked tiredly.
“They need-”
“I don't care,” Clay told her bluntly, pushing his only half-finished meal away. “No, it's not that I don't care, it's that I can't keep trying to take care of everyone's favorite charity. Did the battle we fought just days ago not teach you anything at all, Mom?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” his mother demanded.
“Can you seriously not see how much things have changed?” Clay replied. “Can you not see that things like mattresses and pillows are luxury items now? That unless you can make them, there's not going to be much of a way to get things like that?
“Malitha believes-”
“I know what she believes, Mom, and she may be right, but how do we check? No, how do we do that safely?” he emphasized. “The answer is, we can't. I can't spare the manpower away from here for something like that. We could be attacked again at any time. You remember we were having this argument before when we were attacked?”
“I don't see what that has to do with getting some-”
“I know you don't,” Clay interrupted her once again. “And that's the problem,” he stood finally. “I can't even enjoy a decent meal. I need to start eating at home,” he muttered to himself. “You want them to have mattresses, feel free to go and get them yourself. You know the way there. Of course, when you get there and find the place being inhabited by people who lost everything in Peabody or were run out of their homes somewhere else, don't be surprised if they take the truck you drive over there away from you, along with whatever else you're carrying.”
“That's why I want you to-”
“To go and shoot anyone who gets in the way?” Clay asked her. “To take from others so that you can not feel guilty about a handful of orphan kids who have it better than probably ninety percent of the population in America right now? I'm not going to kill anyone for a few mattresses that don't belong to me, Mom.
”
“I didn't ask you to kill anyone!” Angela raised her voice, angry. “All I want is to make those children more comfortable!”
“And I asked you already, what about if those places are in use?” Clay nodded. “And you can just about bet that they are by now. Gonna take the mattresses and pillows and whatever else anyway? Is your need greater or more righteous than theirs?”
There was no answer.
“This is what I meant by taking responsibility,” Clay told her. “It's so easy for you to just deem something be done and then sit back while the rest of us scramble to make it happen. The time for trying to do things like steal mattresses from a park has passed us by, Mom. We needed to have done that immediately after the lights went out, assuming we could have done it at all. For all you know those places were occupied when the lights went out, or else the things you want were stored away somewhere.”
“Any group of people who were looking for a place to stay would think of those places eventually. Six months after the disaster is too late for you to still be 'shopping'.” He looked at Lainie who was standing beside him.
“Stay and finish your meal,” he said softly.
“No,” the redhead replied with a gentle shake of her head. “My place is with you,” her voice was just as soft.
“Good night everyone,” Clay told them. With that he and Lainie exited the outdoor kitchen, headed for home.
“Happy now?” Leon growled, glaring down the table at his daughter-in-law.
“I didn't ask him to leave,” Angela was still angry.
“No, you just ran him off by continually harping at him over something you want no matter what it costs,” Leon nodded. “You've been sheltered from what the real world is like since the lights went off and you can't get it through your head how bad things are out there,” he made a waving motion toward Jordan. “Even your little field trip to the church last year didn't help.”
“I don't see the problem with going to see if there are-”
“No, I know you don't,” Leon sighed, cutting her off. “And that's the problem. You can't see the problem. Let's just say he takes four people, or five probably, and goes to check on these mattresses. While he's gone, we face another attack like the one we just had. He fought that battle with thirteen people and some help from a few others. You just sent one third of those people away from here to look for mattresses. How well do we hold up without those five people?”
“How likely is it that we-”
“How likely was the first one?” Leon wouldn't let her finish. “You may not like it or want to admit it but the world has changed, Angela. Period. You haven't even tasted much of it because you haven't lost much. You're safe here and protected from what's going on elsewhere. Hearing about it is one thing. Actually seeing it, experiencing it, is something else all together. Now it's time for you to accept that this is how it's going to be, at least for the present. Eventually things may settle down and get back to some semblance of normal, but it won't happen so long as there are people out there trying to get what they want any way they can think of. Like, say, using women and small children to attack a place they want to invade?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I'm willing to bet those children have it better right now than they have in a long time,” Leon concluded. “They're safe, they're fed, they're healthy and they're protected. It would be better if they had their mothers at least if not both parents, but there's only so much we can do about that. Actually, there's nothing we can do about it other than take care of them, which we are doing,” he amended.
“Compared to how they've been living, isn't a nice thick pallet on the floor with a full belly and some clothes that fit instead of a few rags, isn't that a huge improvement? They didn't have a mattress where they came from I'm willing to bet, or a pillow either. Now enough is enough. Clayton has worked himself to the bone trying to take care of any and everything he can and you can't even let the boy eat without nagging at him for something else. Something he's already told you he can't manage.”
“Leave him be.”
–
“You gonna stay mad all night?” Gordon asked later as his still fuming wife kept stomping around the house.
“Who says I'm mad?” she demanded.
“You do,” he bit off a laugh. “But are you mad because you didn't get your way, or because you know you're wrong?”
She stopped short and glared at him.
“I'm wrong, am I?” she demanded. “I'm wrong to want to make those children more comfortable?”
“If it's at the expense of everyone else, then yes,” Gordon lost his good humor at that. “Leon was right. You've been shielded from the horrors of what's going on away from here, and it's spoiled you. And I've helped you, unfortunately. I've guilted Clayton into more than one thing, right alongside you. We've put pressure on him to act as if nothing has happened when we know damn good and well that it has. We expect him to go and do and get and whatever it might take to keep life here as normal as possible, even with him telling us that's not possible. You and I showed up on the road and all but demanded that he bring those women here-”
“Because it was the right thing to do!” Angela all but shouted.
“-and they turned out to be just exactly what he said they were,” Gordon pretended she hadn't spoken. “They attack our own people and you can't deny it because you were there. You saw it, heard how they were trying to stir up trouble, how they planned to take advantage of our hospitality. You saw it all, and still you were insistent.”
“Those other-”
“Were just as much a part of it if they didn't try to warn us about it,” Gordon shook his head. “Even the one in the clinic, alone and under guard, didn't bother to clue us in to what was happening. Clay was right, that's choosing a side. Like it or not, they aren't our friends.”
“Those children-”
“Are better off than they have been since the lights went out,” Gordon didn't bother to let her finish that sentence either. “You know it, I know it, those women up there know it. Now I don't know what's got into you over this mattress deal, but I'm tired of it too, and it's got to stop. We were having a good supper tonight with all of our family there and you had to go and ruin it with something you already knew wasn't going to happen. Enough.”
She didn't speak again, hating the fact that Gordon was right. That didn't mean she had to like it, and she certainly would never admit it, but. . .she still knew he was.
It was unlike her to go to bed angry, but she still did it.
–
“I'm going to start staying here for supper,” Clay told Lainie as the two got ready for bed.
“Okay,” she said simply. “I’ll start cooking for us each night.”
“You don't have to do that,” he assured her. “Go on down and eat with them. I’ll use that time to do something else and just get an MRE or something. It's not a problem. I had gotten spoiled eating her cooking again, but I can live without it.”
“If you can, so can I,” Lainie replied. “I can cook for us and we don't have to go down there at all unless you want to. I’ll leave that up to you.”
“I'm not asking you to do something like that, though,” Clay told her, laying across the bed. “I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired, that's all. I can't even enjoy a single damn meal without it being something and I'm sick of it. I already said that, didn't I?” he frowned.
“Yeah, you did,” she laughed softly and leaned down to nuzzle him. “You're tired, my Cowboy. So tired you're repeating yourself.”
“I'm weak from hunger is what it is,” he assured her. “Damn. If things hadn't gone to hell, we could just jump in the truck and head in to town and get something. Stupid sun.”
“I can fix you something now if you want,” she got up. “I can cook, you know,” she added with mock exasperation.
“Yeah, I know,” he smiled at her. “But I'm fine. Just tired. Wanna cuddle up with me?” he waggled h
is eyebrows.
“Well who could resist an offer like that?”
–
“I wish Mom wouldn't give Clay such a hard time,” Alicia said quietly as she and Ronny walked home.
“Me too,” Ronny nodded.
“It's not like he's not doing anything, right?” she asked.
“Works his ass off to be honest,” Ronny agreed. “You find some kind of hard, manual labor being done around here, you can just about bet you’ll find Clay in the middle of it. Nearly every time.”
“We slept on pallets all the time when we were kids,” Alicia remembered. “So did the twins.”
“We did too,” Ronny nodded. “Slept on those little mat things in school.”
“I had forgotten that!” she laughed. “Good times, huh?”
“Very good times,” he chuckled. “Also very long ago,” he added.
“You know, you were doing okay until that,” Alicia frowned.
“Sorry,” Ronny laughed at that. “I’ll try to do better next time.”
“You do that.”
–
“It wasn't your fault you know.”
Beverly Jackson turned to see Mitchell Nolan looking at her, his face a mask of concern.
“I know,” she nodded, hugging her knees closer to her. “I know, and yet I can't shake the idea that if I had done just a little more, pushed him a little harder, it might have helped him through it.”
“That kid was placed in a terrible position, Bev,” Mitchell sat down beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “He ended up in a bad way because no one cared enough to look after him, or even check his well being. But you did,” he reminded her.
“I obviously didn't do enough,” she leaned against him, trying to absorb support from his presence.
“Bullshit,” Mitchell said quietly. “Complete and utter bullshit. You worked with him how long? And that was just one session. You had others planned, didn't you?”
“Yes,” she nodded. “He needed the help.”
“And you were going to provide it for him,” Mitchell said firmly. “This wasn't your failure, Bev. If there was any failure here, it was his old man. And maybe all of them who were involved in sticking that kid in the hole where he'd have to shoot or get shot. The idea was for these kids to know how to protect themselves, not be soldiers. Just not be victims. Someone else, a grown up, should have been in that spot.”