I have so much fun with the men of my life that I forget about my phone call with Scott until later that night. I get into bed and curl up with Tony who is snoring loudly. That’s usually a sign that he’s really tired. I can’t sleep, and I want to wake Tony up to talk to me, however I know he and his friends take their bikes out early on Saturday mornings, so I want him to rest. From the sound of it, he really needs the sleep! I toss and turn repeatedly, replaying what Scott said to me. He said he couldn’t wait for me...the cruelest words he could’ve said. Was he even going to come back for me? Was I ever really important to him, or was I just a hopeless girl who he and Paul would laugh about?
I’m going to drive myself insane with all the unknowns, so I need to stop. I can’t stress over this anymore; I can’t let it control my life again and lead me down a dangerous path. I have too much to live for now. Scott is in the past, and Tony is my present and future. I love Tony; really, I do.
I wake up feeling a little disoriented, so I feel around the bed to see if Tony’s still sleeping. His side is cold, and I realize I must’ve overslept. I jump up to check my phone and realize it’s after eleven already! How did I sleep so late? I don’t hear anyone in the house, so I check Scottie’s room only to discover he’s gone also. I start to panic a little. Where is everyone? I know Tony’s out on his weekly bike ride, but where’s Scottie? I call Tony’s phone, but it just rings and rings. Of course it would - he’s on the bike and can’t hear it. I start to pace the living room until I notice a sticky note on my laptop. I breathe out a huge sigh of relief as Tony’s note tells me he took Scottie over to his friend Patrick’s house to play. Whew, my heart can go back to normal now!
I open my laptop to check my e-mail. I immediately notice that I have a new message from Scott that’s from a different account than the one I originally e-mailed. I don’t think twice before I click it open.
Grace,
I hope you don’t hate me. I’m sorry. I wanted to call you back, but I don’t want to cause you any problems. I know you have a husband and child. I understand you couldn’t wait for me your entire life, but if you want to talk some more and let me explain, please call me back. This is my off-season, so I’m available whenever you need me to be. I don’t know if I can let you go again now that you have come back into my life. I really want to see you, my precious Gracie.
Love always,
Scott
Oh my… How could… Grrrrrrr! The nerve of that man! I have to fight my urge to smash my laptop against the wall! And what about my husband? How the fuck does he know I’m married? How does he know I have a child? He knows so much about me, but he never bothered to contact me or come back for me? He’s an asshole! I starved myself for him; I wanted to kill myself because he never came back. If Tony hadn’t come and saved me, I wouldn’t even be here! I start to scream. This pain that I feel in my heart is all because of Scott. I felt abandoned by him, rejected. He knew that was my biggest fear, but he didn’t give a damn about me or my feelings. He needs to know he destroyed me; I want him to know, face to face, what he did to me. He needs to see the hurt he caused me all these years while he was carefree and happy on the beach with his girlfriend. I send an email back:
I’d love to see you. When I can set something up, I’ll let you know. Of course, you’ll have to come to the States for our meeting.
Sincerely,
Grace Evans
There. It’s simple and to the point. I won’t waste any more emotions or time on that man.
I go into my and Tony’s little in-house gym and put my headphones on to go for a run on the treadmill. I won’t let Scott stress me out again. He knows so much about me, but I know so little about him since the Internet didn’t provide much insight into Scott’s life. I must’ve been running for some time when I feel strong hands on my body, lifting me off the treadmill. I scream until I realize it’s just Tony.
“Tony! You scared me! Sorry I didn’t hear you come in!” I take my headphones off as I try to catch my breath.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to startle you like that, but you were so focused on your running that I couldn’t get your attention.” Tony looks at the time on the treadmill after he stops it and looks at me. “Wow, Gracie! When were you going to stop?”
I look over at the time and realize I’m drenched with sweat. “Wow, I didn’t realize I was running so long.” I grab a bottled water from Tony and guzzle all of it in one gulp.
“I came home to surprise my wife with a bike ride like we used to do, but it looks like you were running a marathon. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s good,” I respond without looking him in the eye.
“Are you sure? I felt you tossing and turning all night.” Dang, I didn’t think Tony was awake enough to feel me move around so much in our bed. I can’t let him know what’s going on because he’ll start paying extra attention to me. Tony knows me better than anyone and knows what I’m capable of doing. I can’t live my life under his loving scrutiny again.
“Seriously, I’m fine. I just had some old memories hit me after my conversation with Scottie yesterday. There’s nothing to worry about, I promise. I’m good.”
Tony gives me a look like he isn’t sure I’m telling the truth but is letting it go for me. He comes over to wrap his strong, dependable arms around me.
“Ewww! Tony, I’m all sweaty and gross!” I laugh as I try to wiggle out of his arms, but he holds on even tighter.
“I don’t care how disgusting you are! I love you, Grace Evans, with all my heart and soul. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. There’s nothing you can do or say to ever make me leave you. You’re stuck with me, babe, forever and always.” I look up into his eyes as his voice begins to crack with emotion. I know that Tony’s the only person I can fully trust to never hurt me. He’ll never lie to me or keep information from me; he’ll never abandon me or give up on me. He accepts and loves me for the fucked up person I am, and I love him for that.
That night, Scottie has his first sleepover at Patrick’s house. I’m a little sad that my little boy’s experiencing a “big boy” milestone in his life, but I’m also so extremely proud of him for handling it with such excitement and maturity.
For the first time since Scottie was born, Tony and I have the house to ourselves. I have to admit that I’m eager for what our imaginations will lead us to do! After we drop Scottie’s overnight bag off at Patrick’s, Tony and I decide to go to a sports bar with a few of his friends and their wives. I don’t usually drink much anymore, but I refuse to be a party-pooper tonight. No, tonight is about being young and carefree and having a good time with my husband.
The parking lot is full when we arrive at the sports bar, but Tony’s able to find a spot fairly quickly. As we’re getting out of the car, he grabs my hand and says, “Baby, are you good tonight? We don’t have to stay long. If you want to drink, go ahead because I’ll drive.” He’s always my safety net.
“It’s okay, Tony. I don’t plan on drinking that much.” We kiss and head in while holding hands. I immediately see my friend Kimberly who is somewhat of a bad influence on me, but I love her to pieces anyway. She is my closest, and pretty much only, female friend.
“Gracie!!! I’m so glad you came out tonight!” Kimberly comes over to greet me with a huge hug. Of course, I had been debating in my head the whole time I was taking a shower about coming, but I’m surely not going to tell her that.
“Well, it’s just me and Tony tonight, so we figured there’s nothing stopping us from coming out and enjoying a few drinks with our friends.”
“Yes! That’s the right attitude! I thought I was going to have to come over and drag you out of your house, missy! By the way, you look so damn hot! Those tight jeans show off your amazing ass, and your tits look huge in that top. I know who’s getting a little something-something tonight!” A dose of Kimberly is just what I needed tonight! I start to laugh at Kimberly’s amazing ability to just say whatever
is on her mind.
“My tits are not that big, and these jeans are my favorite ass jeans.” I twirl around and shimmy, and Kimberly slaps my ass.
“Yes, you’re right. Now, let’s go play nice with the other girls.” She pulls me in the direction of where the other ladies are sitting with their heads in their phones. We stay and make polite small talk for a little while before we end up at the pool table.
I clicked with Kimberly the first time I met her. I know pretty much everything about her, I think. She lives her life as an open book, not ashamed of her past or anything she has said or done. Kimberly says everything she has gone through in life has helped her become the “amazing hot bitch” she is today.
The first night we met, she told me everything about the abusive relationship her husband saved her from, and I knew I had found a kindred spirit in her. Luckily, we live in the same neighborhood, so we can be there for each other within a moment’s notice. Kimberly is older than I am, so I look at her like my big sister. She has been through a lot in her life, too, and is so full of wisdom and understanding. That being said, I still haven’t told her much about me or Scott. I trust her, but not with my deepest, darkest secrets.
I look over my shoulder and watch my husband deep in conversation, drinking his beer. I smile just looking at him because when he’s passionate about what he’s talking about, he becomes so animated. I love seeing him so calm, and relaxed, and normal. Kim and I start playing pool until I notice the breaking news on the flat screen television that’s above the bar. It’s on a sports network, and the broadcasters are talking about soccer. I put the pool stick down as I listen to the commentator talk about Scott and the drunken brawl he got into at a bar last night. Because everyone is so loud around me, I can’t hear everything that is being said, but I can read the ticker on the bottom of the screen:
Former bad boy soccer player, Scott Peters, returning to his old ways…
I’m so intent on trying to hear the broadcasters debate back and forth about the “old” Scott and the “new” Scott that I don’t even notice my husband come up behind me.
“Since when did you become interested in a sport other than shopping?” I turn around and look at Tony. He has a relaxed look on his face with a teasing smile, so it’s difficult for me to tell what he’s really thinking.
“Oh, I’m not. I was just watching them discuss some brawl at a bar. It looked pretty interesting,” I respond as nonchalantly as possible as I walk back to the pool table, acting as if I could care less.
“Yeah, Scott Peters is really good. I’m not a soccer fan, but I’ve heard about him a few times. I guess he was a complete asshole in the beginning, but later he got himself back on track. I hope he doesn’t go backward.” I begin to wonder if Tony is just saying this to see what my response is, but I quickly put that thought out of my mind. I would know if Tony knew about Scott.
“Well, I hope he stays on the right path then.” I finish playing a round of pool before I tell Tony I’m ready to go home. Kimberly’s mad of course, but I can’t stay because I need to lie down and curl up with Tony. I need to feel my safety net around me.
When I feel like I’m going to cry, I tend to cling to Tony. I know it’s wrong on so many levels, but it’s what’s right for me; it’s what I need. We have a silent ride back home, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
“I’m going to grab myself a beer. Would you like some wine?” Tony asks as we settle into our quiet, empty house. It feels so different not having Scottie here, even though he’d be sleeping at this time. Just knowing my son isn’t under the same roof as I am is disconcerting. Geesh, what am I going to do when he goes off to college?
“Yes, baby, I’ll take a glass of wine. Full, please.” Tony laughs as he heads toward the kitchen. I turn the TV on and once again Scott is on the screen. I look into his hazel eyes, and I see that he’s drunk. He’s cursing at the paparazzi trying to take pictures of him as they shout questions at him. I shake my head. I can’t watch this anymore. I don’t want to care about Scott acting out and thinking that it might be my fault. He abandoned me. I turn the channel and find Mr. and Mrs. Smith on.
“No, not a Brad and Angelina movie,” Tony whines as he sets down our drinks. I laugh and toss the remote to him.
“Then you find something, you big crybaby,” I tease.
“Oh, this is what we’re going to do? Name calling?” He starts to tickle me knowing full well that I’m very ticklish.
“Stop, Tony! Cut it out before I spill the wine!” I’m laughing as he pulls away and looks at me. God, I love this man! I feel my pussy getting wet as I watch him come closer to me with intense desire in his eyes. Yes, this is what my body needs right now…
“You know you want my tongue on your body… Or do you want my lips?” He murmurs right before he licks my face!
“TONY!” I scream and run upstairs with him following close behind me.
We make it to the hallway floor when he tackles me. “Do you remember when we reconnected after you left Ms. Allen’s?”
“Of course. I could never forget. I needed a place to crash, and you and your girlfriend gave me a place to stay.” He starts to laugh.
I remember that day because I called him, and he immediately told me to bring my things without asking any questions. I knew it was because Tony liked me, but I wasn’t interested in him. I just needed a place to stay.
“Yeah, she was just a roommate I was fucking until you came and turned my world upside down.” I laugh awkwardly because at that time, I thought it was funny how he’d do anything and everything to get my attention, but I only wanted Scott. Yes, I found Tony’s feelings for me amusing, and I know I used those feelings to my advantage. Hell, I still do. Remember, I’ve already admitted to being fucked up.
“Do you remember when you found me on that bridge when I was drunk as hell in the rain?” All I can remember about that night is wanting to die while Tony confessed his love for me. He was pleading and begging me not to jump from the bridge. He said he’d always take care of me and be everything I needed. He made the greatest promise of all: that he’d never leave me. To this day, I don’t know if I would’ve done it if Tony hadn’t talked me down, but I know he saved me from my insecurities and deepest fears.
“How could I forget it? You were trying to leave me alone in this world because you were unhappy for some reason. I had to confess how I truly felt about you. When that man answered your phone when I called you and said you were about to jump, I drove like a mad man trying to get to you in time. I thought my life was going to end that night, too.” I start to cry as I get up off the floor, but Tony pulls me back down.
“Let’s go to bed, crybaby.”
“Not yet. I want to make love to you right here on this floor.” He kisses me, and I relax into his embrace. We make love on the floor over and over. Our bodies always seem to know exactly what to do when we’re together. Only Tony can fill the aching loneliness that resides within me, just beyond my grasp. As we reach our climaxes together, I feel complete, like I’m where I’m meant to be. I don’t know how I wound up in bed some time later, but when I wake up in Tony’s arms, I drift right back to sleep with the precious gift of knowing everything is fine as long as Tony is with me.
I feel Scottie jumping on the bed to wake me up. “I’m up. I’m up, son. I’m happy you’re back home! I missed you,” I say drowsily. I can barely open my eyes as Scottie sits down and moves the hair out of my face.
As soon as he knows I’m paying attention to him, he starts speaking a mile a minute! “Yay! Mom is up! I missed you! I had so much fun at Patrick’s! We played on his xBox. When can we get an xBox? And his dad let me ride on his four-wheeler with him. That was so much fun! I wore a helmet even though I didn’t like it. We stayed up late and ate popcorn with M&Ms. Oh, Daddy is cooking again.” Oh, Lord! Let me get up before Tony burns the house down.
“I’m going down right now. Oh, and Scottie, I’m glad you had so much fun!” I get up,
grab my robe, and head downstairs. I smell bacon, and I pray it’s not burnt.
“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!” I nod and sniff as I look around the kitchen. I’m pleasantly surprised to realize Tony didn’t burn or break anything.
“Umm…Who you are and what did you do with my husband?” Scottie and Tony start laughing.
“I cooked this by myself. I took my time,” Tony tells me, puffing out his chest like a proud peacock. Scottie and I giggle at him. These are the moments I live for!
“Wow, this looks amazing. Let’s hope it tastes yummy, too!” I wink at my guys as they finish setting the plates of eggs, toast, hash, and bacon on the table. I sit down, quite impressed, and Scottie brings me over some flowers.
“I picked these outside before I came in from Patrick’s. I missed you, Mommy, but just a little bit.” Scottie gives me a huge bear hug before sitting in his seat.
“Oh my! Thank you, Scottie, these are beautiful!” I don’t know what made today so special, but I’m not going to question all the wonderful attention!
We sit at the table and enjoy the delicious breakfast Tony made. After we clean up, Tony pulls the Wii out so we can play family baseball. These are the moments that make me forget about my past! Tony and Scottie move on to Wii tennis, so I take a minute to check my email. I’m disappointed that I don’t have any new messages, but I close my laptop before I’m tempted to send Scott an email to see how he’s doing. I tell myself that I shouldn’t care, that I don’t care. I’m about to take my place against Scottie, the tennis champion, when my phone chimes with a new text message. I’m surprised when I discover it’s from Scott.
Runaway Love Page 3