by Joanna Lloyd
His lips were a thin line and his breath came in deep, slow exhalations. She picked up her chair and sat again as William stood and walked to the window. He still had not spoken.
She could see he was in agony over his actions but she wasn’t finished. It was important to ask it all. “And why did you continue to reject me? Why did you leave for the Hawkesbury as if every minute in my company was distasteful?”
• • •
He registered, not so much the words, but her pain and sense of isolation at his behaviour. There had never been a woman more undeserving of the hand he had dealt her. If he thought he felt shame and guilt at the way he treated her that night, it was nothing to what he felt as he saw the innocent confusion in her eyes tonight.
“You’re right. Everything you say is true. And I don’t deserve you. Not for a moment.”
She sniffed. “It is? You don’t?”
“Damn, I had the woman of every man’s dreams in my hands and I tossed you away for my own petty insecurities.” Words might mend the treatment he had meted out before he left for the Hawkesbury, but they would not suffice for the other. At least he could try.
He moved back to the table and sat. He reached across for her hand and when she did not pull away, he spoke, choosing his words carefully. “You know, Electra, from the first moment I saw you in that stinking ship, you frightened me.”
She looked confused at his words.
“You frightened me because I felt somewhere deep inside me that if I let you in, you would obliterate everything that had gone before. But as hard as I tried, I could not get you out of my mind. It was too late. It was too late the minute I saw you in the hold of the ship when you raised those tantalising eyes and told me to leave and go about my business.”
“I wanted you to stay.”
“Yes, I suspected you did.” He bent forward, grasping her other hand in his. “You see, Electra, you are so beautiful and foolhardy and opinionated and brave and frustrating and wonderful that I knew if I let myself love you, it would change my life.” Her eyes closed, as if measuring his words. “And that would mean letting go of the anger and hatred that have been my constant companions since leaving England. I don’t think I was ready to do that.” Another tear trailed down her face and dropped onto her bodice as her hand brushed his cheek.
He covered her hand on his cheek with his and with his other hand reached over and poured them both another glass of wine.
“The thing is, despite my best efforts, I do care for you.”
She raised her eyes at his careful choice of words.
He slammed his hand on the table. “And furthermore, I overheard that damnable captain asking you to accompany him back to England.” She gasped at this revelation, retrieving her hand. “And I was scared you wanted to go with him. I was angry because I saw history repeating itself. So I tried to push you away and left for the Hawkesbury.” He threw his hands in the air, shaking his head, “Childish, stupid, and weak, I know.”
“No. Really,” she considered him for a moment. “Well, perhaps a little stupid, and a touch childish — ”
They both laughed, relieving the tension.
He held her eyes and without shifting his gaze, pushed back his chair and walked around the small table. He held out his hands to her, lifting her from the chair. Gently cupping her chin, he brushed the most delicate of kisses onto her warm lips.
“I have two questions to ask you, Electra.”
She nodded at him to continue.
“The answer to the first will determine whether I ask the second. The first concerns the captain. Do you wish to be with him?”
She looked up, tilting her head and frowned. “He has asked me twice to be his mistress and twice I have told him no.”
William started to speak and she stopped him, putting her finger to his lips. “I said no the first time because I did not love him and I did not want to be any man’s mistress. I said no the second time because I still did not love him. I am married and I don’t want to leave my husband.”
A weight lifted from his shoulders but he stayed silent.
She prompted him. “And the second question, Will?”
“Did you mean what you said when you thought I was dying in the back of the cart by the river?” he asked, trying to keep a straight face.
Electra’s hand flew to her mouth. “You heard? You heard it all?” she stammered.
He looked down at her. “I did. But to tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure until this moment if I had imagined it.”
She lowered her eyes, heat flushing her face. “You weren’t supposed to hear. I am mortified.”
“Well, mortified or not, you were right to question my skills. And even more within your rights to berate my inexcusable lack of sensitivity.”
Her eyes grew wide with horror, her cheeks flushed pink and she shook her head in denial. “No, I — ”
Stepping back, he lifted her chin, forced her to look at him while he continued. “I again beg your forgiveness for my actions and humbly request the opportunity to make love to my beautiful wife in the manner she deserves. Let me erase my blunders of the past by pleasuring you until you can bear no more.” He gently stroked her hair as he spoke.
• • •
Embarrassment and excitement vied for supremacy as she read the explicit message in his eyes. Excuses rose to her lips. “I don’t think — do you think you’re well enough to — ,” and were obscured by his hungry lips on hers.
They stood in the flickering candlelight, hands urgently pulling at clothing, their bodies unwilling to part long enough to undress. Electra pushed the unbuttoned shirt off William’s shoulders and he shook it to the floor. Her fingers buried into the soft golden hair on his hard chest as he struggled with the tiny buttons down the back of her gown.
“God, Electra, help me before I rip this gown off you,” he groaned, his eyes glazed with desire.
Reluctantly she stepped back, panting with the effort of control, and this time expertly released the buttons. He pushed the gown off her shoulders where it bunched in a heap at her feet. She kicked it away as he spun her around, unlacing her corset and throwing it to the floor. Her shift survived only a moment longer before he wrenched it over her head and threw it across the room. Her hands fumbled at the buttons on the fall of his breeches until they both stood naked and yearning.
A small voice at the back of Electra’s mind questioned her lack of decorum and brazen behaviour, but its murmur was lost in the passion she felt as her eyes appraised the magnificent body of her husband.
• • •
With a half smile on his lips, William watched as she ran her fingers over his shoulders, down his torso, stopping at the top of his thighs. Her embarrassment seemed to dissipate as she explored him in wonder. She stepped closer; her silken body touched his as she rubbed against him sleek and catlike. Her soft firm breasts pressed against his burning skin and her scented hair caressed his face. He bent his head, losing himself in the red-gold curls, insinuating his tongue into her small pink ear, causing her to moan and arch her neck away from him.
William pulled back as her body stiffened. “There’s something wrong?”
Her hands reached up to grasp his face, locking her eyes onto his as if saturating her mind with only his image. Then she relaxed into him and sought his mouth once again.
He grasped her firm, round buttocks and lifted her until she was positioned against his hard arousal. He slid his hand off one buttock, down her thigh and lifted her long slender leg, coaxing it around his waist. Without prompting, she wrapped her other leg around him and balanced, warm and moist, on the point of surrender. Her searching mouth claimed his and she did not resist when his tongue pried open her teeth and entwined hungrily with her own. As his tongue slid in and out of her sweet mouth, he inserted himself gently inside her, lifting her up and down effortlessly. Entering her, only to exit immediately until her soft moans and clawing nails urged him to repeat the torturous process
.
William moved to the bed, holding her against him and lowering them both onto the cool sheets. Her hand reached up to stroke the hair hanging over his eyes and as he lowered his head, her tongue darted playfully to lick the tip of his nose. In response, he nibbled her ear and then traced with his tongue the line down her throat to her rosy pink nipple.
He raised his head, drinking in the fine contours of her face, her slightly parted lips and her riotous hair spread across the pillow. His muscles trembled as she pulled his head, breathless into the dark hollow of her breasts. With his mouth over her firm, full breast, he sucked gently, moving his head up and down, causing the neglected nipple to beg for attention. As he sucked her nipple, he matched the rhythm with his lower body as he once more entered her, gently at first until he felt the small resistance give and heard her gasp of pain. He looked into her golden eyes, ready to pull away, but she threw back her head and lifted her body to his.
She curled her legs around his to pull him hard into her, grazing his injury. He winced with pain; his face contorting for a moment, then lost himself in the ecstasy of her body. He whispered her name over and over, and he had never heard a sound so beautiful.
Electra’s eyes clouded with confusion and then widened as her breath came faster. His body, slick with sweat, his breath ragged now matched hers. Their bodies had taken on a rhythm of their own as if neither was in control. Suddenly in a blinding rush, a wave of unbearable pleasure shuddered through his body and was echoed in hers.
The innocent passion raging through his wife awed William and as he reached the crescendo, it happened: the past was obliterated by his union with Electra. The wounds he had vigilantly maintained for years began to heal.
They lay, unspeaking for some time, still joined, their limbs entwined. Reluctantly, William shifted as his leg began to throb. He rolled onto his back with her nestled in his arm, her head resting on his chest. As she shifted against him, he heard a small sigh of contentment. To think he had denied them both the wonder of such a union for so long. The bedclothes were pushed back and he marvelled as the moonlight outlined the smooth lines of her body. She had been so natural, so untamed, so unwittingly seductive, so forgiving. It was undeniable; he cared for her far beyond the incredible desire for her body, which he had felt from the first moment he saw her. But something stopped him, memories perhaps, from telling his wife he loved her.
He bent his head to her. “Are you all right? I didn’t hurt you?”
Her smile reminded him of a cat after consuming a bowl of cream. “It was wonderful. You were wonderful. And I’m almost ashamed to say, if you weren’t so ill I would want to do it again.”
“Oh, my little temptress, we will do it again. You can be sure of that.”
“Was I — was I all right?” she whispered.
He gathered her into his arms and ran his rough finger across her soft lips. “You were all that any man could dream of. I have never experienced anything quite like it.”
“Never?” she asked pointedly.
He kissed the tip of her nose. “Never, ever.”
She relaxed, obviously content with his response.
• • •
Her body felt drained, exhausted and totally fulfilled. She hugged to herself a deep sense of peace and the delicious knowledge that the man she had married was the man she loved. Dreamily, her fingers trailed up his arm past an unusual heart-shaped mark she had not noticed before and round to the jagged ridges and grooves of the scar on his shoulder. She hesitated as she touched him, waiting for his censure, smiling when there was none. Her hand continued, through his silky hair and gently stroked the crescent moon scar under his eye, wondering at its history but content to wait until he was ready to tell her. She breathed deeply, inhaling his musky scent, still amazed at the feelings he had aroused in her.
Her ear was against his chest and she felt a small vibration. He had fallen deeply asleep and was quietly snoring. There was a small sense of guilt as she looked at his pale face, wondering if the exertion would set back his recovery.
She succumbed to the safe warmth of him and slept.
Chapter Sixteen
Electra woke with a start.
Disoriented in the strange room, she had a moment’s panic and then remembered. Her hand moved across the bed and traced the dip left by his body. The bed was still warm. She swallowed the disappointment and moved over to where he had lain, breathing in his musky scent. The door opened and closed quietly, there was a clunk on the small table beside the bed and before she lifted her head, he was stretched out beside her.
He reached over to the table, lifted a mug of steaming chocolate and held it out to her.
“How considerate of you, Will,” she said, taking the mug. She glanced down and, conscious of her nakedness, tugged at the sheet with her other hand.
“Purely self-serving behaviour, I assure you. And I prefer the sight of you with the sheet down,” he said, taking it from her hand, his eyes twinkling appreciatively as he gazed at her naked breasts.
Unused to such attention, she blushed and folded an arm across her chest. “How self-serving?”
“My strategy is to give you nourishment so that I can wear you out again,” he answered, stroking her arm suggestively.
“I suppose I could be convinced to put up with your attentions once more,” she said, with bored nonchalance, slowly sipping from her mug.
With a disgruntled “Humph,” he swiped the mug from her hand and rolled her onto his stomach. She sat up, straddling him, pleased to have him at her mercy. He ran his gaze down her body and looked up at her hair.
A slow smile spread across his face as he curled a long strand around his hand, holding it in a ray of sunlight. “You are a wonder, my darling wife. Your hair dances like flames around your face. William dropped the thick curl and traced the curves of her body with his work-hardened hands, sending shivers up her spine.
Electra leaned forward, her breasts tantalisingly close to his chest, and lightly raked her nails down his body. He shuddered and immediately hardened against her inner thigh. She repositioned herself, enclosing him in the soft, warm sheath of her body. Impatiently he clasped her waist, pushing her hard onto him. She gently shook her head, letting him know she would determine the pace. He groaned in compliance as she bent and kissed each of his eyelids.
Then she slowly moved up and down, stopping to nibble his ear, suck his nipple or slide backwards, running her tongue gently down the length of his torso. She felt both omnipotent and powerless as she moved them both deliciously to the edge and back again. It was clear she was only in control until his restraint broke.
“Enough!” he growled and grasped the back of her neck. With his hands locked in her hair, he pulled her down to his mouth. His kiss was hot and urgent and she lost all control as the rhythm reached unbearable heights. Their bodies were no longer their own as waves of pleasure washed through and through them. They writhed and clung to each other, unable to bear the pain and the ecstasy; falling sweat-soaked, wet-eyed, and exhausted into each other.
Sometime later, William moved his hand and stroked her red-gold curls. “Ah, Electra, my sweet goddess of fire, where on earth did all that passion come from?”
She smiled, draping her long leg across his body. “Well, husband, that is for me to know and for you to wonder about.”
He pinched her nipple. She slapped him and squirmed away as he lurched across the bed to grab her. They both landed on the floor, laughing like children.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” said William, kissing her.
“Of course, Shi Liang will be wondering what has happened to us both.”
“Er — I don’t think he will.”
She coughed, nearly choking on her words, “Oh no, how can I face him?”
William pulled her to her feet and caressed her buttocks one more time. “Strength in numbers, dear wife. We’ll face my Oriental mother together. Go and get dressed.”
&n
bsp; When she entered the dining room, William was waiting for her. Shi Liang shuffled in moments later with eggs, toast, fruit, and coffee. Between them, Mary Buckley and Shi Liang seemed unusually occupied in the dining room that morning. If their unnecessary presence did not arouse Electra’s suspicions, their complicit looks certainly did.
Halfway through their breakfast, Callum strode into the room.
Callum gave William a searching look and exclaimed, “Och lad, ye’re looking as fit as the new ram in the north paddock, aye? Has your lovely wife found some new medicine to dose ye with?”
Shi Liang glanced at Mary, who snorted, and they both ran out of the room choking with laughter. Callum looked puzzled, Electra looked at the floor and William smiled benignly, shrugging his shoulders at the question.
“What’s wrong with your servants, Will? They’re acting a wee bit strange.”
“I think they’re just happy, as we all are. Isn’t that right, Electra?”
Electra narrowed her eyes at William, who changed the subject.
“It’s time I got out of the house. I thought Electra and I might go into Sydney Town today. Do you need anything, Callum?” he asked.
“Aye, that I do. I’ll bring ye a list afore ye leave,” he said, replacing his hat and disappearing out into the hall.
William turned to Electra. “What do you say to a trip to town?”
“I’d love it. You sure it won’t be too much for you?”
He smiled, reaching for her hand. “It will be too much for me if I don’t go out. If I stay here, I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.”
She fluttered her eyelashes theatrically. “Would that be such a bad thing?”
“Good Lord, what have I unleashed? I fear my days of peace and quiet may be over,” he said, shaking his head.
Her heart warmed as she listened to his nonsense. He seemed as happy as she. His melancholy had dissipated and the sadness was gone from his eyes. Just the sight of him made her stomach twist and the breath catch in her throat. Fantastic as it may sound, the nightmare of the past two years had been a small price to pay for the love of this man. She reminded herself, he had not actually mentioned loving her, but she loved him, regardless.