A Place to Call Home

by Tania Crosse

  Clarrie’s eyes had stretched wide with surprise before a contented smile crept onto her lips. As the brightest of the three girls, Doris had passed the scholarship for the nearest grammar school and was doing well. But with Cyril hovering by the doorway pretending to look nonchalant, Clarrie guessed that fifteen-year-old Doris had another reason for wanting to stay. And Clarrie had no objection. In fact, she couldn’t have been more pleased! She was a lovely girl, and Clarrie had another reason, too. One she needed to keep close to her heart. Doris’s resemblance to Rosebud.

  ‘If your father agrees, of course you can! You could be my new lady’s maid!’ she said, clapping her hands. ‘Now wouldn’t that be fun!’

  But now her heart was heavy as she was saying goodbye to so many of the people who had been staying under her roof and become her good friends over the last six years. And she’d been watching the children growing up as if they’d been her own.

  ‘And I’m gonna miss you all so much, too!’ Penny was replying, bobbing her head up and down so that her double chins danced. ‘And Ada, dear, you’ve taught us so much about cooking, my Archie’s stomach won’t know itself. London’s only a train ride away. Gawd knows what sort of mess Archie’s let the house get inter. But who can blame him, working full-time on the railways and being an ARP warden ter boot? But soon as I’m straight, I want you all ter come and visit.’

  ‘Of course we will. And our doors are ever open, too,’ Clarrie told her, her voice catching on the lump in her throat. ‘Now you’d better get going, or you’ll miss the bus.’

  There was a surge of last-minute hugs. For six long years, they’d yearned for the war to be over so that they could all go home. But they’d become a special little community at Robin Hill House, forming bonds that were likely to last a lifetime. And now that the moment of departure had finally arrived, nobody was sure they wanted to leave, after all.

  ‘Blooming lucky, you lot, ter have homes ter go back ter,’ Leslie broke the tension in his inimitable way. ‘Not that me and Cyril wanted ter go back ter London. But it would’ve bin nice if our mum and dad hadn’t buggered off ter pastures new without letting us know where the bloody hell they’ve gone.’

  ‘We can do well enough without them,’ Cyril put in, puffing up his chest. ‘Got totally new lives now. We should be grateful.’

  ‘Course I am, but—’

  ‘We really must get going!’ Penny called. ‘Come on, you lot. Best foot forward!’

  With that, all the travellers picked up their cases and set off down the drive, Penny leading the way with her little tribe, Joyce, Maureen and Ed following, and the twins bringing up the rear with an assortment of bags. Clarrie stood with Doris, Ada, Gabriel and Mary, and Jane, waving off the little troop and calling their goodbyes. Clarrie’s eyes misted over until she could barely see the last of her charges disappear out of the drive. So that was it. The end of an era. She wished so hard that Wig had been at her side to support her. But, just like Meg who’d had to go back to her work at Home Farm, Wig had said his farewells a couple of days previously when he’d returned to London himself. There would have to be huge changes at the factory, and he needed to make massive decisions about its future.

  Clarrie sighed as they turned back into the house. But, as the saying went, as one door closed, another one opened. She had a new future to look forward to, as well. Ralph would be demobbed soon, and her Meg would be coming home.

  And Clarrie’s heart rejoiced.

  Thirty-Three

  Back at Home Farm, Meg was getting Duchess ready for a day’s work out in the fields. Thank goodness they’d kept the strong, willing animal, Alan had said on so many occasions, with there being little or no petrol for the tractor or the lorry. But Duchess wasn’t young anymore, and Meg was hoping that petrol supplies would soon start to trickle through again before too long.

  Meg sighed as she led Duchess out of the loose-box, the familiar plodding of her hooves tearing into her heart. None of this was going to be for much longer. All the evacuees at Robin Hill House, apart from Doris, Cyril and Leslie who were staying on permanently, had gone back to their London homes. Men were already being demobbed as they gradually returned to Blighty, but thousands were still fighting in the Far East, of course. There were also many who’d continued to serve in Europe in order to sort out the chaos the war had created and to help the liberated countries get back on their feet.

  Ralph was still instructing others. The RAF wasn’t going to disintegrate just because the war in Europe was over. But it wouldn’t be long before he returned to civvy street, and Meg would go back to Robin Hill House. Besides, Paul Fenshaw had been demobbed, thankfully unscathed, and had been home for nearly a week, so neither Meg nor Mandy would be needed for much longer.

  Meg’s brain was shrouded in confusion. She yearned for Ralph with an unbearable ache in her belly like a hunger. Yet she knew his return wouldn’t entirely bring her the peace she craved. It was time to put her plan into action.

  She’d already approached Mr Briggs, the land agent, when she’d seen him at market recently. He’d shaken his head sympathetically. There was nothing, no hint of a tenancy coming up anywhere, but he’d let her know if anything cropped up. It was the same everywhere she enquired, many frowning at her sceptically. She screwed up her mouth into a mutinous knot. Things hadn’t changed much, had they? The Land Army girls had worked their guts out, but they still weren’t good enough to be in charge of their own destinies!

  Meg let out a despondent sigh. She couldn’t be patient forever. Being Ralph’s wife meant everything to her, but her dreams would come true if they could run their own farm together, as well.

  ‘Ah, there you are, Meg, dear.’ Maggie’s kind voice broke into her tumult. ‘The others, well…’ The woman glanced back at the open door to the farmhouse, her brow in an uncomfortable frown. ‘They’ve sent me to break the news to you.’

  Meg held her breath. This was it. The agonised wait was over. In a way, it was a relief. ‘It’s all right,’ she muttered into her boots. ‘I’ve been expecting it. I’ve always—’

  ‘I don’t know what your plans were,’ Maggie went on, seemingly unaware that Meg had spoken. ‘But we’re going to give notice. Alan and our Paul want to work together. I know my Alan’s not as young as he was, but there’s many a year left in him yet, and this farm isn’t big enough to support two men and any family that might come along. We’ve found somewhere bigger over in Sussex. It’s just perfect.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Meg’s heart dropped like a lead weight. She’d known she’d no longer be needed, but she wasn’t expecting this! At least she could always have come to visit, but what if the new tenants weren’t as accommodating? Oh, Lord…

  ‘I’m sorry. I should’ve broken it to you more gently. But you must’ve…’ Maggie stopped as Meg’s face blanched. ‘You all right, my dear?’

  Meg stared at her, thoughts lurching drunkenly inside her head. What if…? What if the new tenants…? What if… the new tenants…?

  She grasped Maggie’s arm in an iron grip. ‘Maggie, promise me you won’t give notice just yet?’ she said urgently. ‘And can I use the phone?’

  Her eyes flashed like steel and Maggie nodded in astonishment. ‘Of course you can, my dear. But…?’

  But Meg had already abandoned Duchess and ran across the yard and into the house as if Beelzebub himself were after her. Thimble, by her mistress’s side as ever, cavorted after her, but when the door swung shut in her face, the animal trotted back to Maggie with doleful eyes.

  ‘No good asking me,’ Maggie told the dog with a bemused shake of her head. ‘I know no more than you.’

  Inside, Meg charged up the stairs to rummage in the drawer in her bedroom for her little address and telephone book. Would she be able to get through to Ralph at the base? Even if she couldn’t, well, she’d have to take a chance. It was an enormous step, but she knew from things he’d said… Most importantly, the person she needed to speak to was M
r Chillcott, Wig and Clarrie’s solicitor who’d always taken care of her money as well.

  *

  ‘Can I have everybody’s attention, please?’

  Ralph banged gently on the kitchen table that had been carried outside the cottage into the September sunshine. It was laden with sandwiches and cakes, and anything they could lay their hands on. The war might be over – out in Japan as well now, thank God, even if it had taken those two horrific bombs to end it – but rationing was bound to last for some time. Not that anyone at Robin Hill would starve with all the fruit and vegetables Gabriel grew with the help of his full-time apprentice, Leslie, and also Cyril when he wasn’t tending the animals.

  The little gathering fell silent as Ralph’s words percolated the happy chatter. When all was finally quiet, Ralph took a deep breath and smiled.

  ‘First of all, I have to say how wonderful it is to be back among you all, and especially my darling wife.’ He turned to Meg for a moment, squeezing her hand with a deep, affectionate smile before continuing more solemnly, ‘But this isn’t just a celebration of peace. Nor is it just a homecoming for Bob and Sally and yours truly. It’s something else as well. Meggy and I have an announcement to make.’

  A soft murmur rippled among the gathered guests, and Ralph saw Leslie dig his twin in the ribs with a little snigger. ‘No, Les,’ Ralph chuckled. ‘It isn’t the patter of tiny feet. Not yet anyway. It’s something entirely different. But I think Meg should be the one to tell you.’

  He gestured for Meg to step forward, his eyes gleaming with ineffable love. Meg felt her cheeks suddenly burning. She wasn’t expecting this.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, shaking her head with a flustered laugh. ‘I thought Ralph was going to tell you. Now… you know we both love you all dearly,’ she began hesitantly. ‘Always will. But sometimes it’s time to move on. We wanted to start afresh. To begin a new life together. But on our own. We won’t be far away, mind, so we can still see you often. The thing is…’ She glanced at Ralph for reassurance, and her heart filled up as she felt his love pouring into her. ‘The thing is, the farm where I was born, where I grew up, and where as you know I’ve been working as a Land Army girl, is being vacated. And Ralph and I, well, we’re not just the new tenants. We’re the new owners.’

  A gasp ricocheted about the little crowd, everyone frowning and murmuring. Meg’s heart gave a little jump, a mixture of both joy and sadness. Her eyes travelled over all these people she’d come to love so much, and she held up her hand to silence their voices before she went on, ‘I can tell you now that when my parents were killed, I received substantial compensation. With Wig and Clarrie’s help, I invested it, and over the years it grew to enough for me to be able to buy the farm. At least with a mortgage as well. And Ralph’s put in his savings, too. It is our joint future, after all,’ she added, turning to him with a loving smile.

  For a few seconds, everyone was stunned as the news sunk in. It was Leslie who broke the silence.

  ‘Bleeding hell, so yer a farmer now, Ralph?’

  Ralph threw up his head with a broad laugh. ‘Apparently so!’ he grinned. ‘But I’m told it’s not much different from being a gardener. And I’ll have a good teacher.’

  ‘Can I come and help with the animals?’

  ‘Course you can, Cyril. Expect we’ll be glad of your help while we’re getting started. And Meg’s old friend, Mandy, wants to work for us, too.’

  Surprised, delighted conversation broke out among the group who’d been thrown together by fate, and endured so much. They surged forward one by one to congratulate Ralph and Meg, hugs, kisses and handshakes heartily exchanged.

  Nobody noticed that one person hung to the back, biting her lip. Clarrie supposed she should always have expected Meg to leave one day, but when she and Ralph had married, Clarrie had basked in contentment, believing they’d remain at Robin Hill forever. Looking at them now, Ralph’s arm about his wife’s waist in such a natural fashion, and Meg beaming up at him so adoringly, Clarrie felt she should be delighted for them.

  But she wasn’t. Rosebud was gone, and soon Meg would be, too. Clarrie would always have her darling Wig by her side, but she still missed Nana May so much. She would have dear young Doris, of course, a lovely girl who physically resembled Rosebud so closely. She should feel grateful that her future would be surrounded by so many people that she loved. But it was still Meg who had filled that place in her heart that Rosebud had left so hollow and empty.

  Tears of sorrow and rekindled grief swam in Clarrie’s eyes and threatened to run down her cheeks. She mustn’t let them. No one, not even Wig, must see her distress. She’d lost her child, and the grief would remain with her every day until she died. Her dearest, darling Meg had closed the yawning chasm in her soul for, what, nine years now. But the wound was breaking open again.

  Clarrie sniffed hard. Breathed in deeply. Then strode forward with a beaming smile on her face.

  ‘Congratulations, both of you! And when do we get our first invite?’

  She opened her arms wide. And suddenly all her fears dissipated as Meg hugged her as if she would burst.

  ‘Never!’ Meg crowed ecstatically. ‘Not officially anyway. Because I want you and Wig to come whenever you like!’

  ‘Do you really mean that?’ Clarrie faltered as a fountain of joy sprang up inside her.

  ‘Of course! That’s what’s so wonderful about it, not being that far away from you all! And I couldn’t believe it when I spoke to Mr Briggs and he said that the landowner actually wanted to sell. Thought he could make more money investing the capital elsewhere now the war’s over.’ Meg shook her head in joyful bewilderment. ‘Thank God you and Wig helped me pursue that compensation, or I’d never have been able to afford it. So now, because of you, I’m going to be living forever in the place I really do call home. So wishes do come true sometimes, don’t they?’

  ‘Well, this really calls for some celebration,’ Wig said, coming up behind them, wielding a bottle in the air. ‘Been keeping this for something really special,’ he winked. ‘Now who’s for some bubbly?’

  Thirty-Four

  1946

  ‘Hello, you two!’ Clarrie beamed, opening the front door. ‘I was in the sitting room and heard the car. Come on in, it’s freezing outside.’

  ‘I’m just popping down to Mum and Dad’s,’ Ralph said apologetically. ‘But then maybe we could all have a cuppa together, Mum and Dad as well, if that’s OK?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’ Clarrie’s brow twitched in a tiny frown as she beckoned Meg inside. ‘You go in, Meg, and I’ll go and ask Ada to rustle us up some tea. We weren’t expecting visitors on such a miserable day. Won’t be a jiffy.’

  Meg stepped inside the sitting room where a jolly fire was blazing in the grate. She slipped off her coat, holding her cold hands out to the flames. Meg guessed they weren’t heating the spacious drawing room on such a raw, January day. It was a waste of fuel with so few people in the house.

  It did seem so very quiet nowadays, after the bedlam that reigned when Penny Higginbottom and everyone else had been living there. Wig was doubtless at the factory, Doris would be at school, while the others were possibly in the kitchen having a well-deserved cup of tea. Bob and Sally had moved into the cottage, but both were working for Wig and Clarrie again. Meg would want to see them all later, but first she wanted a private word with Clarrie. More than a word. She had something to tell her, and her pulse was racing with anticipation.

  ‘Oh, it is good to see you,’ Clarrie declared as she came back into the room and settled opposite Meg in the other armchair, her face aglow. ‘And tell me, how is life down on the farm?’

  ‘Yes, everything’s going very well. Ralph’s taken to it like a duck to water.’

  ‘Well, he was already halfway there,’ Clarrie chuckled.

  ‘Yes, he was.’ Meg returned her smile. ‘And I think the challenge of pastures new has helped him recover mentally from the war. And physically, well, apart from the sc
arring, he’s absolutely fine.’ She glanced briefly around the familiar room, waiting for the right moment. She was itching to tell her the news, but somehow didn’t feel she could launch into it straightaway. ‘How’s Jane finding life at the Police House?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh, brilliant!’ Clarrie exclaimed. ‘She has to answer the phone and take messages when Eric’s not there, and see to people who call in. I was so pleased for them when Eric was promoted to our village bobby. But I have to say I was a little concerned that Jane mightn’t be able to cope with everything it would entail for her. But I needn’t have worried. She’s coping incredibly well. And it’s given them a nice little home now they’re married.’

  ‘I’d like to call down and see her afterwards. Oh, it’s so wonderful to have petrol to get around with again, isn’t it? Even if it is strictly rationed. So I’m afraid we won’t be able to stay too long if we’re going to do that as well. We’ll need to get back for milking and… well, we did want to see you,’ Meg faltered, beating about the bush. ‘All of you.’

  Clarrie tipped her head, raising one inquisitive eyebrow. ‘Well, it’s always wonderful to see you, but… is there something special you wanted to talk about?’

  Meg felt the peachy hue that warmed her cheeks. And it wasn’t just because of the fire. ‘Well, yes, there is actually. I… that is we… we’re having a baby.’

  Delight spun round inside her as she watched joy gradually blossom on Clarrie’s face. The older woman’s mouth slowly opened before it lifted in a grin. But somehow there was a strange little movement at the corners of her eyes.