“No, you can walk. You’re a big girl now.” She held her hand on Tara’s head.
“Everything’s going to be fine. Sarah and Maria won’t let anything happen.” Trying to change the subject I asked, “Do you think I can be a good dad?”
“I know you will.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Just watch Jorge. He’s a great dad.”
“Thank you.” Smiling as he turned, Jorge’s inattention caused a wheel to run over one of Marco’s stone markers.
Beth yelled out in pain. The cart had no shock absorbers. “You just keep walking straight up there, and try not to hit all the bumps please.”
“I didn’t do much with your kids. I was always afraid to cross boundaries. I felt they didn’t respect me and kept my distance. I’m scared about raising this one.”
“You’ll do fine. Marcos loves you. He shadows you like a dog.”
“I don’t know what I did to cause that. I always felt Marcos didn’t like me because I was always telling him what to do.”
“You were teaching him, hon, that’s what dads do.”
“I’m not his dad. Never wanted to be.”
“It’ll be ok.” She held her stomach. “I’ll help you.”
Jorge stopped in mid stride. “You’re going to have to get off.” He slipped out from underneath the straps leaving me holding Beth. She hadn’t time to dismount.
“What are you doing?” She asked as her feet hit the pavement.
Jorge ran up the road. We missed what he obviously saw from a distance. Once again he stomped on something with a killing force. “Got another one,” he yelled.
Pete and I walked up to see what he found. Another snake, but this one didn’t have a rattle. The peculiar thing was that the serpent had been held down by two flat rocks. One blow from either stone could have killed it, but it was left there for Jorge, alive and easily found.
“Looks like we’re on the right path.” Pete laughed. “Maybe Marcos will have a fire started so we can cook George’s trophy.
Beth climbed back on, I hitched Jorge up and we were on our way again.
Chapter 43
Splitting Up
“Nick, we’ve got to find her some place dry and clean for her to have this baby.” According to Sarah’s calculations Beth was in her eighth month. “I’m not going to let her drop this kid beside the road.”
Our goal to find shelter and food to last a month or two seemed unreachable. Long distances between towns or houses, not to mention rivers or swamps made travelling long distances imperative. Sitting out the rain and only moving during dry days would cause our supplies to run out. We were eating food as fast as we found it.
“We’re wasting time going down roads leading us nowhere,” Sarah said. “Send the guys up ahead to find shelter.”
“I can’t do it. I have to stay with Beth.” In reality I couldn’t walk far without sitting down to take a break. I would lose my wind within the first half mile, and I couldn’t take Jorge’s place pulling Beth, I just didn’t have it in me.
Marcos took off in one direction, Pete in another. The rest of us huddled under the beaver-skin tarp for one of them to return. Rain was an obstacle the scouts had to ignore.
While waiting, Beth’s water broke.
About halfway through the day, Pete came running back. “I found a granary. The building is still standing, and there should be plenty of rats and grain. I didn’t check it out or build a fire. As soon as I saw it I came back to get you.” He struggled to catch his breath.
“We can’t wait any longer. Take us to it,” Sarah ordered.
“We can’t leave Marcos behind,” I said as I threw pots and pans next to Beth on the gurney. “Pete did you mark the way?”
“Some of the way, but I forgot in a few places. But I can recognize it when I see it,” Pete said, ruling him out as the one who would stay and wait for Marcos.
I looked around. “Maria, do you mind waiting for him? He shouldn’t be too long.
Sarah never gave Maria time to speak. “No, Nick. I’m going to need her. You wait for him. There’s nothing you can do now. Wait here and get some sleep. You’re going to need it.
Maria spoke up. “Let’s not forget about Manny. And what if Jorge has to pee? Do you want to help him Nick?”
“Jorge, drive slow. You’re carrying my family with you. Watch out for traffic.” I smiled at Beth. “I shouldn’t be far behind you. Wait for me if you can.”
All three nurses laughed in reflex.
“Yes, dear. I’ll hold it in until you get there. Give me a kiss. I’m sure you have a few hours.”
We kissed. “You wait for me, okay?” I patted her tummy and gave her another kiss.
The torchlight dimmed and darkness accompanied a feeling of complete isolation. The thought of following Marcos vanished after the first quarter mile, so I sat down and decided to wait for his return. I immediately started worrying about Beth. I knew she was in good hands, but still wanted to be there.
I also didn’t want to risk losing Marcos. Although he has been out on his own for months now, I didn’t want to take that chance.
Listening to the sounds around me, I noticed nothing but insects making a noise so loud one would think he were standing next to high tension electrical equipment, a constant buzz combined with several different octaves of humming. Chirps, clicks and whistles broke the monotony in no recognizable pattern. The drone of wings filled the sky, unseen, but still felt, as much as heard.
Memories flashed of a world long gone. Imagining how life was before was like trying to remember a dream hours after waking up. Each time I thought about people from the days of sunshine, I would forget what they looked like as soon as I opened my eyes. Their features would disappear in the darkness. The memories since were difficult to erase. Mick’s face, the children’s blood in the snow, Beth and the preacher, all burned in my mind as I tried to sleep. I lay in the middle of the road so Marcos wouldn’t walk by me. The rains had washed the soot and ash off long ago, but the road was hard as ever. I couldn’t lie flat on my back. I couldn’t breathe. I tried to lie on my side, but my arm would fall asleep. I would doze off, then wake up, fall asleep again, only to toss and turn.
Bright light blinded me through closed eyelids. I held up my hand to block the sun, first time in weeks. I looked around at my surroundings. No sign of life for miles. Then down the road, I saw smoke in the distance. It was Marcos. He was on his way back. The black smoke of his torch left a trail lingering in the air as he ran. The ribbons of carbon disappeared, to be replaced by a dim long lazy flame. The sun vanished under cloud again, making his the only light left.
Chapter 44
Labor Day
“Where is everybody?” Marcos asked.
“Beth’s having the baby. They all went to a shelter with Pete. Come on. We have to get going. I need to be with Beth.”
“But I found some great signs. I know I could catch something if I go back.”
“Marcos, I can’t leave you. Pete says there should be food where they are.”
“But Nick, I know where possums are holed up. I found tons of poop. I’m not a little boy anymore you know.”
I looked at him and smiled. Patting him on the shoulder, I said, “No, you’ve grown up a lot lately.” I realized that I was a big part of that, and smiled wider. “Okay, but don’t be too long, and be careful. Do you think you could find your way back to the rest of us if I mark the road?” I didn’t want to leave him, but Beth needed me.
“I’ll be fine. Tell Beth I’ll be praying for her.”
I turned around. “Where did you learn that?”
“Maria taught me a few prayers and said if I prayed more, I would catch more animals. I tried it and it works. I guess it might work for the baby…kinda.”
“I’ll tell her.” I left him and hurried along, checking every intersection for signs of the others, adding to the rocks shaped like an arrow marking our direction. There was no chance of Marcos getting lost. I wou
ld stop at every culvert to inspect for sign, and to catch my breath. If I found good sign, I’d mark it for him. He had more time to look it over and set traps if he thought it was promising.
Less than a mile after the last marker, the silhouette of a tower could be made out from the dim light released by the clouds. At first glimpse, I knew it wasn’t what Pete thought it was. Still I hurried uphill to get to Beth, listening for the sound of a newborn’s cry between each labored breath, (mine, not Beth’s). The pains were back, but only another hundred yards remained till I was back with my wife. I pushed myself.
Pete met me at the entrance.
“How’s she doing?” I asked as I held my chest.
“She still hasn’t had it. Come on, I’ll bring you to her. I’m sorry, Nick. I thought it was a place that made grain. It’s just a cement plant.”
“At least she has a dry place to have it.” I was disappointed about the lack of food.
Pete led me into a room covered with dust. Beth was lying on a bed of beaver skins in the middle of the room. Two torches lit the area.
I leaned over Beth. “How you doing, babe?
She licked her dry lips. “I’m hungry.” A contraction caused her back to convulse as pain coursed through her body.
After the contraction subsided, she again asked for something to eat, but this time she addressed Sarah. “Nurse, can you get me some Jell-O, or sherbet?” The sweat was pooling on her brow, then the surface tension reached its maximum and some dripped down the side of her face.
Sarah smiled at Beth. “No… all I can let you have is some ice chips.” They both had said the same thing a thousand times before.
“Do we have anything to eat?” This time she was looking at me.
I didn’t want to tell her that in fact we had nothing. “Sarah told you, you can’t have anything. I’ll get you some water. No ice.”
“Wait,” Beth grabbed my arm. “Where’s Marcos?”
“Marcos is okay and on his way here, but he wanted to stop and look for food. He’ll be fine.”
“Oh, I know he will. You taught him well,” Beth said forcing a smile.
“He said he would pray for you.” I watched her face for some reaction, but got none. “I’ll get your water.”
When I returned with the water, Beth was talking to Maria, and both of them were crying.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Holding Maria’s hand, Beth said, “I just told Maria that if anything should happen to me she could raise Tara and the baby as Christians.”
“Nothing’s going to happen. Stop talking stupid,” I told her.
“I want them to believe that there is a reason to go on. All you have to do is believe, and be good, and you go to heaven. As long as you believe and try your best, you are at peace.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in heaven?”
“Nick, you know I don’t believe in God because of my science. I didn’t talk to God when I was in that tunnel because I know he doesn’t exist. In my opinion, religions seem to be based on legends, and cannot be proven by any evidence, so that’s why…”
Maria let go of Beth’s hand, stepped back and crossed her arms.
Beth stopped briefly, losing her train of thought. “It doesn’t matter. Science has suffered a sizeable setback. It will be centuries before man can get back to where he was before this happened. With the future the kids will have, they will need faith.
Maria could hold her tongue no longer. “Beth, you think you know a lot about science, right?” She held Beth’s hand again.
“Yea, probably more than most. I was a teacher,” Beth answered.
“Well …” Maria hesitated. “When I was studying to be an X-ray tech, for two, three days they taught about the atom, and all the things it was made of. They talked about Einstein, parallel universes, eleven dimensions and particles that they haven’t even seen yet. It was all over my head, and I knew I would never see it again. But what if…” She paused again. “What if, one of those extra dimensions, is where God lives? What if one of those particles they haven’t even seen yet, is proof of God? Maybe we’re part of God, or he’s part of us. Maybe we’re both connected in a quantum dimension that science didn’t have time to discover.”
Beth was silent.
Maria continued, “Isn’t it possible that God does exist and you haven’t found him yet? Isn’t there still a chance you could open your mind to God?”
All three of us stood aghast looking at Maria. She had seldom spoken, let alone spoken out.
Beth stuck to her guns. “Unfortunately, I know what will happen to me if I die giving birth. My knowledge of science leads me to believe that when I die, my consciousness will become nonexistent. I will have no knowledge of ever being. My body will rot and …”
“Now that’s enough.” She was quitting already, and I wasn’t going to put up with it. “You’re talking stupid. You’ve got two experienced nurses who both have helped deliver babies before. You’re going to be fine. Now talk about something happier… Please.”
She rubbed my arm. “I think it’s going to be a long delivery, hon. You better get some sleep while you can.”
I slept beside Beth and was only awoken occasionally by her moaning.
Chapter 45
Praying
I was startled by Beth’s scream. “What’s wrong?” I asked Sarah. “How long have I been asleep?”
Beth grabbed my hand and squeezed.
“Are you okay?” My hand went numb.
Sarah took me aside. “Beth’s having a dry birth, Nick. This is going to be hard on her. You really need to be by her side. She’s been in hard labor for hours now. We’ve got to get this kid out of her.”
“What I can I do?”
Sarah asked, “Are you an atheist like she is? If not, then praying would be my suggestion.”
Her contractions spanned only about two minutes apart for what seemed like hours.
“Maria, are those towels dry yet?” Sarah asked. Beth had already soaked the ones under her with blood.
“Nick you better stay by her side from now on,” Sarah said.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Beth latched onto my hand. “I’m hemorrhaging, babe. I’ve been at this too long and my old body isn’t up to it. You’re going to have raise this baby by yourself, sweetheart. I think that once I’m done with this I won’t have much more left.”
With a shaky voice I tried to scold her. “You just think positive and don’t you dare give up. Damn it! You know I won’t be any good at raising a kid. I need you. Now you just stop thinking stupid thoughts and try to relax and let that kid slip out.”
She tried to laugh, and her fake smile reminded me of the good times before this nightmare.
Instantly I was transported to a time of camping amongst the forest, when they held lush green leaves, not just scorched trunks, void of branches.
I remembered our grandbabies’ faces when Ninny bought them a new swing that Papa had to put together.
I had thousands of memories about hunting trips I had taken, but the times when she accompanied me were the most memorable.
I remembered all the fun the two of us had at the fundraisers for the fire department. I was so proud to be seen with her. Her beautiful red hair draped over my arm as we danced. Of course my other hand was on her cute little ass. Everyone who watched us was envious of our love and lust. In fact, she was in every good time that I could remember.
“Okay, finally. We’ve got crowning… That a girl. Push … Push…Push…” Sarah said.
In between breaths, Beth yelled, “I am… Whew, Whew, Whew!” she continued her metronomic breathing.
I knew Beth was giving it everything she had. She said she had one more job to do, and I was watching her do it.
“Come on, honey, just a little more.” I looked at Sarah. The same fear I felt, was clear on her face.
“Maria, bring some more towels, and pack her tightly please.” Sarah was hol
ding our child’s head in her in her hands. A few seconds later she said, “It’s a boy.” She immediately handed our son to Maria and turned her attentions to Beth.
Beth and I were crying in unison as violently as possible, without making a sound.
Once she caught her breath she ordered, “Name him Phoenix.” She gasped for more air. “I want you to concentrate on teaching Marcos… all the survival skills you know…he will be the one who teaches the young ones. Once the elders pass on… he will teach your son. It’s your duty to teach him… so he can teach Phoenix.”
“Just hold on and you can help me. You will be fine after you rest.” I choked for more words.
“Shh… Maria has enough milk for both Phoenix and Emanuel… Sarah and Pete said they will take Tara.” She trembled, but continued to speak. “Maria and Jorge will help out with the baby.” Her breathing increased, but speaking was more important than air. Tell Marcos…” She took three short breaths, and then slipped away without kissing me goodbye. My emotional mucus plug had come out, and like Beth, I bled out there that night.
I felt a sudden horrible emptiness come over me for the first time in my life. Sarah handed me my new son. I looked at him, scarcely able to make out his thin, but obviously red hair in the dim light.
I kissed her, then him, as I wept.
Maria said prayers for her soul, and then slipped the necklace with the cross on Beth’s neck.
Chapter 46
Alone
All I could do was sit there and watch as Pete dug her grave. A sand pile behind the steel building would be Beth’s final resting place, for no other reason other than easy digging. Pete’s body had emaciated to the point his muscles ached. He struggled, but still found the strength to help Maria and Sarah lower Beth into the shallow grave. Her body, wrapped in a cocoon of beaver skins, soon disappeared under a pile of sand meant to bond cement to make concrete.
“No! We can’t leave her here. Something will dig her up. It’s not deep enough.” I ran to the pile and started pulling sand off the mound.
The Second Intelligent Species: The Cyclical Earth Page 20