by Maya Rossi
“I don’t mind.”
I smiled at her joy, but I couldn’t help wondering how much of it was a front. A woman that hid her son’s abuse so well Merrick still thought them a loving mother and son.
“Something smells good.” Merrick craned his neck to look into the pot.
I pressed my palm against his chest, relishing the feel of those muscles, and pushed him away. “Wash first.”
He brushed a finger down my cheek. “Kill joy.”
That simple touch woke strange feelings inside me. It was happening increasingly lately, the touches. I turned to I.J. “You’re still giving me those books, right?”
“Yes. It will help you better than the ones Merrick has, the English is simpler and the stories good.”
“A child's story for an adult.”
She squeezed my hand. “You’ll outgrow it in no time.”
“Are you eating with us?” I asked as I dished the rice.
She stared at the food hungrily even as she shook her head. “I plan to forego morning food to better watch my weight.”
It wasn’t what she said, but how she said it. “It’s that boy, isn’t it?”
I.J ran to the door to make sure Merrick was still in the bathroom and ran back. “That boy is my son,” she hissed.
“And he’s controlling what and how much you eat.”
”Yes, because he cares.” She jutted out her chin in defiance. “Think of gaining freedom from Madam before getting into my business.”
As she stalked out of the house, I forced myself to return to my work. Our conversations these days ended the same way. Maybe I should just drop this Tom thing.
“What is it again?” Merrick asked, bringing the smell of soap to the kitchen.
“No, we’re cool.”
“That’s something Tom would say.”
I blanched, sidestepping as he reached for me. Merrick spread his hands. “What did I say now?”
As we ate, I felt his eyes on me. When I could take it no longer, I dropped my spoon. “What?”
“Maybe I should cook for you? If you keep cooking for us, you’ll become skin and bones.”
He wanted to cook for me. Me. I bowed my head. “Thanks.
“I heard you and I.J.”
I jerked my head up, relief and trepidation warring inside me. Merrick’s eyes narrowed. “She said you have courage. And she’s right.”
“Oh.”
“What did you think I would say?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head.
He held my gaze, urging and pleading to know what was wrong. “Anyway,” he continued, “you will need the courage.”
“Why?”
“The school system here is tough. No one cares whether you’ve got dyslexia or problems at home or that you couldn’t attend school while you were young. They’ll mock you, Ada.”
I smiled, warmed at his concern. “I’ve wanted this for too long. I will be fine.”
But as the wind blew through my hair, nerves tracked up and down my spine. I hugged Merrick tight. He slowed the bike, reaching for my hands with one hand.
The school was huge, located on the outskirts of the village. Blue and white brick walls, a huge black gate and the signboard showing students in their uniforms. When Merrick braked the bike, I remained seated with my arms around his waist, my cheeks pressed to his broad back.
“If you’ve changed your mind, it’s fine.” He turned his head. “But I know how much you want this.”
“Isn’t it too far from home?” I asked.
Merrick stilled. “That’s the first time you’ll call it home. It’s far, yes, but I can drop you off on my way to the farm.”
I exhaled. “Right. I’m ready.”
The principal ran a patronizing eye over me for the hundredth time since the meeting began. He had a shiny bald head, round and big with matching big eyes. I stayed as close to Merrick as I could get away with.
“We’ll require her to write an entrance exam. Her score will determine which class she ends up.”
Merrick took my hand. The principal’s eyes tracked our hold. I snatch my hand away. “Can I take the exam today?”
“How long will it take?” Merrick asked.
“Twenty to thirty minutes.” He pushed a pamphlet to Merrick. “That’s our prospectus, you can find any other information in there.”
He put a call to a teacher to prepare my entrance exam. Merrick was still reading the pamphlet. The principal laughed shortly. “If you’re still reading that maybe you should join her in class.”
Merrick stiffened. He raised his eyes to the principal, and he folds up like a sand castle. “I’m sorry.”
After about five minutes, the phone rang, and the Principal picked up. When he was done, he nodded. “The teachers are ready for you.”
“Give us a minute,” Merrick ordered. He turned to me, looking so incredibly proud. “You do have courage.”
“Thanks,” I breathed.
He kissed me.
His lips are soft and dragging, pulling reaction from an internal well deep in my stomach. I raised my hand to his shoulders and then his neck. An old memory, Joy crying and huddling into her pillows. I pulled my lips from his head on his shoulder as I tried to catch my breath.
“What is it?” he asked.
I shook my head. He wouldn’t understand.
“Talk to me.” His hand rubbed my back slowly.
“I’m sorry about what he said.”
“The principal? He doesn’t matter.”
I searched his face. I believed that, but did he? “Your mother will forbid this.”
“This?”
“This. Me and you.”
He kissed my forehead. It was like the world stopped in that moment. Then he stepped back. “Focus on the exam. We’ll talk later.”
After the exam, the teachers determine they would place me in class five. The students are mostly nine- and ten-year-olds. An eighteen-year-old in the midst of nine- and ten-year-olds.
Merrick paid the school fees, and we left. Outside the school, I dropped to my knees. “I’m grateful, I am truly. Sincerely. I won’t disappoint you, I will study hard. I will make sure the money doesn’t go to waste.”
He went pale. “I thought we were past this. Stand the fuck up.” He stomped to his bike and back again. “You know nothing, you see nothing except your fucking Madam and maid issues. I have been in love with you for some time-- will you get the fuck up?”
We went home in silence. The ride wasn’t as comfortable as the first. Merrick sat upright, his back a rigid line. I kept my body away from his, hands in my lap.
He loved me.
Inside, he began gathering his tools for the farm. At the gate he stopped. “You’re not coming?”
I folded my arms, tipped my chin up. “You love me. Before Joy met her Oga, she met a boy, an Oga’s son.” At this, Merrick blew out a breath. He hated it when I called him Oga’s son, or Madam’s son. But that was what he was. “I don’t know what exactly happened because Joy will never talk about it. But she’s here, and that boy is enjoying his life. She showed me his picture on Instagram one time. He was really happy while Joy has to fuck an Oga to survive.”
He flinched. “I’m not that boy.”
“True.” I pulled in a deep breath. “You’ve been good to me and I….” I shook my head. “I will get hurt.”
“You have to look out for yourself, I understand.”
“You’re a fool.” I.J pushed a soft drink in my direction. The sun was high, the heat intense. I wrapped my hands around the cold glass in relief. I.J studied me like I was an animal in a zoo.
“What?” I asked defensively.
“Joy does not have a Merrick, you. Question is what are you going to do about it?”
The front door opened. I.J froze, her soft drink slipped from her hand to spill across the table. I caught the bottle before it hit the floor. She rose to stand by the table. I would bet my next school fees she wasn’t even awa
re of her actions.
“No, let’s give it sometime,” Tom was saying. “I will see the guys later this evening.”
“We meet here?” A familiar voice asked.
“Yeah,” Tom replied.
“Cool,” the person said.
Tom saw us and smirked. He walked right past without greeting. I guessed the time for pretence was over.
One glance at I.J’s white face, I took my soft drink. “I better go.”
Before Tom reached the hallway, there was a quick knock at the door. Since I was halfway to the door, I saw the caller. The guy who cut me. I gasped and swiveled to confront I.J. She pressed a finger to her lips, silently begging me to keep quiet.
“Please, please, don’t tell anyone. Not yet.”
Chapter eighteen
“Please, please, don’t tell anyone.”
I pressed my face to the center of Merrick’s chest, inhaling that unique blend of earth, musk and sweat. It was my first day of school and I was thinking about I.J. I tightened my arms around Merrick. He didn’t move, just waited me out.
Since he told me, loved me, he kept his distance. No more touches, hands on my waist, forehead, kisses. Nothing.
I jumped from the bike, waited for some acknowledgement from him. Merrick just smiled. “You got this.”
The first girl I asked for class five ran away laughing. I towered over the kids, older and dumber. After several failed attempts, I got one teacher to direct me to the classroom. As soon as I entered, they all burst into laughter.
“Aunty.”
“Mommy.”
“Grandma.”
The calls trailed me all the way to my seat. I endured their amusement until the teacher came for the first lesson. I sat miserably through the class, struggling to follow the lecture. My mind slipped to I.J. There was no way I could protect her. The only way to protect her was to have Tom arrested. How could he steal from all those hardworking women?
“Please, please, don’t tell anyone.”
“What did I say last, Ada?”
On hearing my name, I jumped to my feet. The teacher and the class watched with an air of expectation. I floundered, trying to focus, to remember what the teacher might have said.
“You weren’t listening. Try to pay attention. Sit down.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, I took my seat. A boy in the back row, David snickered. Another followed. A balled up paper landed on my desk. Another landed on my neck. Slowly, my humiliation gave way to anger. I didn’t owe these kids anything.
I gathered the balls and rose.
Their eyes widened, going from the teacher to me. I turned to find the teacher watching. She was tall, around five-eight and fair complexioned like the color of the light chocolates Benita liked. When her expression didn’t change, I turned to the boys in the back row. They stared back, defiant, daring me.
I stalked over, smashing the first ball straight into David’s mouth. He had started the mockery and taunts. He gave a muffled yelp and looked at the teacher.
“Aunty!”
“I thought I was Aunty. Or is it your Grandma?” I shoved the paper deeper. I did the same to the other boy. When I had dished out the same humiliation to my satisfaction, I stopped. With the whole class looking on, I reported myself to the teacher. I kept my head bowed and waited for my punishment.
“Class, we all live different lives. Some people live fake lives, some live real lives. David and his family doesn’t have a house.”
At that announcement, the whole class began chattering at once. David bowed his head, looking ashamed.
“I didn’t mention this to mock you or anyone. Just that bad things can happen to anybody. Your father had the biggest house until that terrible flood, now you’re renting a house. Remember, bad things can happen to anyone. Ada, you’re not a baby. If you want to learn, pay attention. Sit down.”
At the end of class, during the short break, the students kept away. I didn’t mind because the taunts and name calling stopped. I went over the teacher’s lesson. I wanted to learn how to read, how would photosynthesis help me learn how to read.
At least I knew that word.
The last class was the worse. Mr Adedayo the teacher, hated me. And I wished I was exaggerating. He made snide remarks about prostitution, wayward female children and teenage pregnancy.
By the end of the class, I was blinking back tears.
I couldn’t attend his class again, no way I could endure his taunts for forty-five minutes. And I had to make a decision about I.J.
At home, I prepared dinner and served Merrick. I could feel his gaze on me but avoided him.
“Will you tell me what’s going on?” he asked.
I kept my head down, pushing my food around and waiting for him to finish. With a sigh, he took his unfinished food to the kitchen. I listened to him scrap off the leftovers and wash the plate. It was the first time he wouldn’t finish his food.
“You don’t like it?” I asked when he came out of the bedroom buttoning up his shirt.
He jerked on the shirttail, and a button fell. “I thought we weren’t talking.”
“I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Obviously. And I’m going out.”
“Where?” He didn’t reply, and the question hung in the air, like a dirty underwear. “Sorry, you don’t--”
“To watch football.”
“Don’t drink,” I mumbled.
He laughed, leaning down to put on his boots. “Really? Are you serious with that order, Ada?”
I clamped my mouth shut and watched through blurry vision as he left the house. Quickly, I took my bath and changed my clothes. If I couldn’t convince I.J to turn her son in, I would tell Merrick everything.
This time when I knocked on her door, it opened immediately. I.J was a mess. Tears, mucus and sweat ran down her face. “Where’s he?”
She covered her face with her hands, crying profusely. “No, no, no.”
“We need to turn him in. You must.”
“He’s my son. You won’t leave your Madam and you want me to destroy my son?”
I reached for her hand to lead her to the living room. “You won’t be destroying him, you’ll be saving yourself.”
“Same thing.”
In the living room, we froze. Tom sat with his legs crossed, a bottle of soft drink on his knee. How such a handsome young boy could be a devil at the same time was beyond me. I.J moaned, skittering backwards. I caught her hand and pulled her forward.
“She’s going to turn you in,” I said. “I know what you and your friends have been doing.”
He smirked, low and easy and in control. It irritated me, spiked an annoyance low in my gut.
“And what have we been doing? Preparing for JAMB.” He pointed at his mother. “She didn’t tell you? I’m going to university next year, got the high scores and everything.”