“No, don’t apologize. I do leave my world. I do it out of necessity because what I see and do in Ku 6 is more than I can bear sometimes.”
I haven’t hurt his feelings, but now a darker, sadder Jiro than before surfaces. I don’t know all he does, but after witnessing Matsuda kick Hideo to death, I fear he’s seen more than I ever have or will.
His face is turned from me, gazing off at a point down the street, and though we are only a few centimeters apart and holding hands, he seems alone and troubled. My heart is breaking for him.
Neither of us should have to live this crazy life, filled with lies and violence, alone. I need him, and I’m sure he needs me. Without thinking, I let go of our hands, reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder.
“When was the last time someone hugged you?” I ask.
He sighs and presses me against him. “It’s been a long time.”
Being this close, I breathe in the scent of him — clean, citrusy soap — and I store it away in my head as something more to remember Jiro by when I’m not near him. “I had a great time tonight, Jiro. Thanks for sitting with me and making me feel welcome with your family.” I don’t want to let go of him, but I pull away, grab his hand, and walk him the one more block to my building.
He looks up, surprised we’ve stopped. “This is where you live?”
“Number eighteen, yes.” I don’t want this evening to end, yet here we are, standing right out front, and I can’t invite him in. I really need my own place.
I look down at our hands clasped together between us in disbelief. Would he be flirting with me, holding my hand, and walking me home if I were just his student? Could he really be interested in me as more than a friend?
He pulls on my hand and I look up at him. He has shaken off the sadness and replaced it with the same flirtatious smile he had on New Year’s Eve, but this time it’s even more lustful. It’s making my heart beat wildly in my chest again. At this rate, I’m going to die of a heart attack before I’m twenty-one.
He lets go and pulls me to him. Leaning in, he brushes his lips against my lower jaw and whispers, “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Sanaa.” His soft breath is on my neck before he kisses me under my ear. We’re frozen together for a moment, and I catch myself before I sigh. It is the most wonderful feeling ever, to be held by him, so close I can feel his chest rise and fall, his heart beating in time with mine. He pulls away and touches my hair softly, tucking it up over my shoulder.
“Oyasumi, Jiro.”
He turns to go, and watching him walk off down the street, I take a deep breath. It is now my life’s mission to kiss him, and I smile. I hope he knows what he’s in for.
Chapter
Fourteen
It’s been a long and frustrating twenty-four hours after the party at the okiya. I swear Sakai and Koichi must be able to tell feelings are brewing between Jiro and me because they have been glued to us ever since.
I spent the morning after the party alternately gathering data and staring out into space. I completely avoided footage of Matsuda, wanting the happy and light feelings to float around in my head for another day. I have to admit I sat close to an hour with my eyes closed and my fingertips on the spot under my ear where Jiro kissed me. I hope if Sakai watches video of me at the theater he thinks I’m merely concentrating. Does he watch me? I don’t know. Only if he never sleeps otherwise how would he find the time?
I showed up to the dōjō for practice with Jiro, and Koichi was waiting again. There was a moment right before we started when Jiro looked at me sadly and mouthed, “Sorry,” before his father turned around and caught us staring at each other. Then I proceeded to get my butt kicked for over two hours. Jiro and Koichi pushed me so hard I actually screamed in frustration more than once. I thought maybe I would steal Jiro away for dinner, but Sakai intercepted him and asked Jiro to come with him for an important meeting. I got dressed as quickly as I could before I could lash out at Sakai for interfering in my well-laid plans.
Now, I’ve woken in the middle of the night again and can’t get back to sleep. Lying in bed, I stare at the ceiling for hours on end and think. Think, think, think. I wish I could turn my brain off.
The rhythm of Aunt Kimie and Lomo’s breathing from the next room is slowly putting me out of my misery. I listen hard — concentrate on the in and out — but my bed is vibrating, and it’s keeping me from deep sleep. My bed is vibrating? Wait, my bedside table is shaking. Glasses in the kitchen sink are falling over.
I sit up in bed and shout for my aunts to wake up.
“Earthquake!”
Aunt Kimie and Lomo are quickly through the rice paper screen that separates us, and we stand in the doorway between the bedrooms and the kitchen as the apartment shakes. I lose my balance more than once but Aunt Lomo pulls me back each time. The chairs at our table are making a steady progression across the floor. The light fixtures bounce and sway.
Just when I’m sure it’ll continue for a minute or longer, everything stops moving, and the sirens wail in the hallway. My tablet, which was on the table and is now on the floor, is pinging with news, but we are frozen in place, afraid to move.
“I think it’s over,” says Aunt Lomo, and it startles me into action. I tentatively walk forward and grab my tablet. It’s not broken (gotta love Nishikyō’s computer tech division), and, when I take it out of standby, there’s a city-wide message from Nishikyō News Service I relay to my aunts. The earthquake was weak but shallow. Clean-up crews will be dispatched to each ward to assess the damage.
“I’m worried about our neighbors, Sanaa. Let’s get dressed and make our way down to the street.” I’m not going to argue with Aunt Kimie. I’m concerned as well and a bit in shock. When I turn to make my way to my dresser, my head stops but the room keeps swinging, a wave of wooziness sweeping over me.
“I don’t feel so good, Aunt Kimie. The world is still shaking.”
“Sit down for a minute and see if it goes away. Meet us downstairs? Oh, and avoid the elevator.” Thanks, Aunt Kimie. Because getting stuck in a metal box is exactly what I want right now. I’ll take the stairs, of course.
I’m still holding on to my tablet, so I make my way to my bed and sit down. If I close my eyes, it gets worse, so I get online and access the reports from Nishikyō Geological. The epicenter was only 6 kilometers from here. With it so close, we’ll probably have aftershocks for days. It used to be Canada’s tectonic plates were pretty stable, but Earth’s decay has led to a lot of movement in the past two hundred years.
When Nishikyō was built, the engineers in charge thought that Canada, being so far north and fairly unpopulated in the wilderness, would be an excellent choice of location. It is certainly cooler than the old United States, but Earth’s deterioration hasnot spared us. The desert encroached on Nishikyō after only a hundred years. The earthquakes started around the same time.
My tablet pings as I’m reading over the report. A message from Jiro.
“Are you all right? That was a big one.”
“Yes, we’re fine. Just some broken glasses. I was awake, of course, so we all stood in a doorway quickly. Is everyone okay there?”
“Yochi and I are fine. He’s gone to check on our parents.”
“I hope they’re okay.”
“I’m sure they’re fine. I’m sorry about practice today. Not my choice to have my father there, that’s for sure.”
“I understand. Maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow.”
“Let’s hope so. Get some sleep, Sanaa. I’m worried about you.”
Gods, he’s sweet. “I promise to go right to sleep as soon as I can.”
“Kiotsukete na, Sanaa.”
“You too. Oyasumi-nasai, Jiro.”
And I sign off before I start to cry from stress.
After sitting for another minute, the world is righted again. I dress and head down to the main lobby of our building, not meeting anyone along the way, only to find a river runnin
g down our street. Raging water is sweeping away everything in its path including bikes, baskets, bags of trash, and a shoe or two. Next to the door stand my aunts and half the building’s residents holding on to a few water-soaked individuals. Across the street, the same situation is happening, but now a wall of water separates us.
A moment of panic seizes me. I can’t swim. Hell, I don’t think many people in Nishikyō know how to swim. There are no pools, and so, no opportunity to learn. This water is deadly, and I shrink back from it like it’s acid. The sound is deafening. Roaring. If they don’t stop it promptly, the whole ward will be sunk in about five minutes.
“Everyone please move inside. The water main will be turned off soon.” A voice booms down from above, and I jump and shriek. That’s the first time in my life I have ever heard the emergency alert system in use. I’m relieved, but I hope I never hear it again.
As we close the door on the watery chaos in the street, my neighbors are grumbling about how water will be rationed for a few days while the processing station is overworked, and the engineering crews are called in to fix the main. No more long showers for me.
I’m so tired now I pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow. My dreams are filled with raging water and blue sky. In one of them, I’m standing next to Jiro in the desert under a clear, deep sky. My left hand clutches his shirt as I’m being crushed to the ground and swallowed up by the sand. He tries to dig me out, but, each time I breathe air, another wave of sand takes me under. Earthquake sirens blare, and I panic, the world turning black around me.
I wake in a cold sweat, my pillow completely soaked, and the sirens are my alarm beeping like it does every morning. That’s really not the way to start my day. I drag myself to the bathroom, and the panel in the shower has rationed me to a two minute soap-up-and-rinse sprint. At the very least, I’m glad it’s hot.
Sakai is mournful when I reach the dōjō.
“I’m relieved you’re here. I was worried and wondered if I should message you. Ku 9 looks undamaged,” he says as he gestures out the window. “I saw a few sidewalk cracks but overall it looks good. Looks cleaner, too.”
“Oh that’s because a water main broke and washed everything away. It was terrifying, actually.” A shiver racks my entire body. I open my breakfast bento and take a sip of coffee. “They fixed it pretty quickly, though. How is rest of the city?”
“Mainly structural damage. There’s a huge hole down the street from the Itōdōjō. Only a few reported deaths which is good, but the earthquake has a lot of people rattled. Colonization efforts will be hastened. This part of the world is in sharp decline, and we don’t expect it to stay stable long.”
He takes a deep breath, and my heart breaks for him.
“This has been your home for a long time, Mark. I know it must hurt to see it falling apart.” Sidling up to him, I place my arm around his waist. I’m happy his face cracks and he smiles before putting his arm around me and squeezing back.
“You’re a good kid, Sanaa. Your parents would be proud of you.” I’m going to let the kid reference go. I’m too happy to have him close to me to care. When did this man become so important to me? I feel like he’s always been around, but really, he is someone new in my life… and he’s someone I never want to be rid of.
* * * *
“Mark, I need a day off.” Jiro and I have just finished a grueling session where he worked me until I couldn’t walk straight. What is going on? This is two days in a row he has been so ruthless at practice. It’s also the second day we’ve been observed fighting. Sakai spent the entire time sitting or standing and watching us. I feel like I’ve been under a microscope.
“I’ve been working for almost three months straight with no time off besides the okiya. I miss my friends. I miss sleep. Just one day. To relax and catch up on life. Please?” Sakai looks disappointed, but I’m not going to give up. He should know persistence is my strongest virtue. “I’ve done all of this without complaining. One. Day.”
Sakai sighs. “Fine, Sanaa. Don’t overdo it.” I let out a tiny squeal — sometimes it’s necessary — and lunge forward to kiss him on the cheek before he can move away.
“Arigatō!”
He smiles at me. Ever since I cried on him, he has gotten a little softer around the edges. I sometimes wonder if he missed out on having children. He would have been a great father. Maybe if things had been different, he would have been my father, but who knows?
I skip over to the sword rack and place mine next to Jiro’s.
“Finally taking a day off, Sanaa-chan?” He leans past me, watching the door close behind Sakai. We’re alone.
“Yes,” I sigh. “Finally.”
“Etoooo…” he says, thinking. “So, what are your plans for tomorrow night?”
“I’m hoping you’ll meet me at Izakaya Tanaka for dinner… If you’re not busy, that is.” Why, after all this time, and the kiss, am I still nervous about asking him out? Jiro smiles and thinks for a moment as he grabs a towel, and, wow, he is making me squirm on purpose. I want to deck him.
“You know, Sanaa, I’m already there, almost every night.”
“Really? You aren’t exhausted after a long day of whipping me into shape?”
He looks me dead in the eye. “I have boundless energy.”
I bet you do.
I clear my throat. “Are there not bars around here you would rather go to?”
“There are plenty of bars around here but none that are owned by your best friend’s father.” He finishes up with the towel and throws it in the auto-hamper. Has Jiro been going to the izakaya every night waiting for me to show up?
“Of course I’ll meet you for dinner, Sanaa. My brother and Miko are practically permanent residents there.”
“Then we’ll meet up with them, too?” This sounds like an excellent idea.
We stand and stare at each other, my head light with lust. When we’re no longer sword fighting, I have trouble not reaching out to touch Jiro in any way. His body is like a magnet I can’t resist the pull of.
“I’ll arrange it. Seven o’clock again?” he asks.
I close my eyes and nod before the tension between us gets too uncomfortable.
I take the transitway back to Ku 9, shower, eat a light meal, send a message to Miko about hitting the izakaya tomorrow, and go directly to bed without seeing either of my aunts. They must be out for the evening because the apartment is deserted. Well, they have lives too, I have to remember. I fall asleep fast without cares or worries about my workload.
Late the next morning, I wake from a deep, dreamless sleep in a panic before remembering I have the day off. This is nice. I forgot how lovely it is to lay in bed without rushing to get someplace.
I have a good stretch, and my body aches in places I didn’t even know existed. On my way to the bathroom, I stop at the mirror, stifle a yawn, and examine my face — still the same girl but my physique has changed. Weeks of holding a sword have defined the muscles in my shoulders and upper arms. Squats, jumps, and lunges have strengthened my legs and abdomen. I run my hand along the top of my shoulder and think about Jiro’s tattoos. I really want some. What would I even get?
It’s been almost three years since I dated Joshua, and I think I can finally admit he was crazy, that it wasn’t me, it was him. I’m not as straight-up-and-down as I used to be. All the exercise has pulled me into a shape I can be proud of. It still hurts to remember the way he made fun of me, though. I doubt those memories will ever go away.
The smell of breakfast is coming from the kitchen. My aunts must be up and awake. Grabbing my robe, I slip on some house shoes and go out to sit with them.
“You came in late last night,” I say. My room is only partially walled off from my aunts’ room. Rice paper screens don’t provide much privacy, but now that I’ve been away and working so much, I no longer worry about encroaching on their alone time.
“You’re here,” Aunt Lomo says, a wide smile popping onto her face. “We
haven’t seen you this late in the morning in weeks.”
“Months,” Aunt Kimie says, concern etching two parallel lines between her eyes. These are two are such opposites sometimes.
“Don’t worry, Auntie. I took the day off. Needed a break. Coffee?”
“Yes, of course.” Aunt Kimie busies herself with making coffee and rice while I yawn and slump down at the table.
“What have you been up to, Sanaa? Are they working you too hard?” Aunt Lomo has no idea how hard I’m being worked.
“Long days and some long nights. A lot of things changed once the new Colonization Chief was announced. I’ve been helping out in other departments, too.”
“Is that what’s going on?” Aunt Kimie serves me rice, nori, and soy salmon with a side of black coffee. “I stopped by to see you three days ago and no one knew where you were.”
I pause but parlay the lapse into blowing on my coffee. “Three days ago? Hmmm, I was probably working off site. I get called away from my desk a lot.” It’s a lame excuse, but I hope that will tide her over. Once Aunt Kimie gets an idea in her head, she will be pretty nosy about learning every detail. I should distract her.
“You know, I was thinking it’s probably time I got my own place…” My aunts freeze, Aunt Lomo’s eyes immediately edged with tears. Uh oh. “Not that I don’t love you both a whole lot. More than anything! It’s just that I’m twenty now, and I’ve been working for four years, and…” And I want to be able to bring boys home whenever I want, and not just any boys. Jiro. I press my mouth shut.
“Of course, darling.” Aunt Lomo smiles and shakes her head, ridding herself of the tears she almost let loose. “You’re so busy. Do you want help?”
“Yes,” I sigh. “Thank you. I’m swamped at work. I just want a little efficiency place. I don’t even need a real bedroom.”
Aunt Lomo pats my hand. “I’ll find you something.” Aunt Kimie turns from us both and heads straight for their room. I feel guilty wanting to get away, but I also want my own space. Miko has lived on her own for two years, in the same building as her parents, but still, she’s independent. Helena has been talking about moving out. I don’t want to be left behind.
Nebula Nights: Love Among The Stars Page 22