She said it lightly, like it was joke, but he could tell it wasn’t. He understood about orders, more than he wanted to, but what if she was ordered to stay away from him?
“They’d never give that kind of order, Fyn. It’s not our way.”
“Can you read my mind?” That made him more than a little nervous.
She grinned. “Just your eyes. They say a lot. In fact, only talkative part on your whole body. If you need to lie to me, don’t look at me.”
Luckily for him, she rubbed her face after she said that or who knows what she’d have seen in his eyes. Kalian still lurked in the shadows of his past. Each contact they had with others in the galaxy, the more likely it was he’d find out Fyn wasn’t dead.
“Let’s get out of here. I think I’m actually sick of this place.”
She held out her hand to him and he took it, pulling her close to his side as they headed for the door. What would they do if the colonel refused permission? This was her life. She couldn’t leave it. He stopped and turned to her, holding her almost desperately. He knew what loss was like, too. And he knew it wasn’t only her past that could tear them apart.
“If he says no, we just wait until my enlistment is up.” She found his hand and lifted it to her cheek.
“You’d leave this?”
Now she looked surprised. “If I had to.”
“But you love it.”
“Yes.” She added, like it should be obvious, “There are other ways to fly. Only one you.” She frowned. “You really didn’t know?”
He touched the side of her face. “I would never ask you to give it up.”
“I know. That’s why you don’t have to ask. We’re a team now, no matter what they say.” Her smile turned a bit wry. “Dying twice sort of clears up your thinking, helps you bring things into very sharp focus.”
‘Yeah, it does.” He’d done a lot of thinking, but there was no clarity for him, just boiling uncertainty. He felt guilty. She loved him. He loved her. That should be enough.
She looked exhausted, which probably explained why she hadn’t homed in on his confusion. She yawned.
“Sorry.”
“Come on, let’s get you back to your quarters.”
They turned toward the door, and it slid back at their approach. Waiting in the corridor, Fyn saw Halliwell and the Gadi commander. Why couldn’t they leave her alone? Fyn was close enough to feel tension flood into her, but none of it showed on the outside. He almost said something, but as if she knew, Sara put her hand on his arm and gave him a quick, reassuring smile, before looking at Halliwell.
“Sir?”
“I know it’s late, Captain, but the Commander was wondering if he might speak to you. He assures me he won’t keep you long.”
Something in Halliwell’s eyes and stance told Fyn he wanted her to talk to him but there was also a warning in his eyes and voice. Sara looked at Halliwell for a long moment, then she looked at Gaedon. He felt her digging deep. He could see her shoulders straighten.
“Of course.”
“I’m going to mediate the conversation, but I need to talk to Fyn for a moment. I’ll be right with you. Just don’t start without me.”
“Yes, sir.” She looked puzzled, but she politely pointed back the way she’d just come. “We can talk in here.”
Even without her full uniform, she managed to give the impression of a good soldier, Fyn noticed. He gave her hand a last squeeze, before letting her go. When the door hissed closed behind them, he looked at Halliwell. He looked tired and worried.
“I’ve been thinking about your situation,” Halliwell said suddenly. “There are a lot of reasons for me to say no—”
Fyn felt his heart contract.
“—and really only one reason to say yes.” For a long moment, Halliwell stared into Fyn’s eyes, his gaze hard and probing. Fyn met that gaze without blinking or looking away. It wasn’t easy. Luckily Halliwell looked away, his gaze sliding toward the door, then turning back to Fyn. “You have any objection to it happening right away?”
Fyn’s eyes widened. “No.”
“Good enough. If Donovan has no objection, I’d like it to take place in the morning. I’ll talk to the chaplain and get it set up. Frankly, the sooner she’s off the market, the better for all of us. I hope.” He slanted Fyn a look suddenly sparked with amusement. “Of course, they could all start gunning for you.”
Fyn grinned. “They can try.”
He suddenly had a huge incentive to live. He’d find a way to make it work. He had to.
* * * * *
Sara would have preferred to stand while she had her chat with Gaedon, but she was so tired, she was afraid she might fall over, so she led him to one of the small tables and sat down.
“I saw the end of your, well, what you do in here…” Gaedon looked around him with interest and just a bit of distaste, as he seated himself opposite her. “It was most enlightening.”
“I don’t imagine you enjoyed it much” Sara managed a tired smile. He looked uncomfortable. “I’m not offended. On my world, we don’t all have the same taste in music. It’s what makes life interesting. Variety is the spice of life, they say.”
He looked like he wasn’t so sure. Maybe they didn’t have that much variety in his corner of the galaxy.
“It does not damage your harmonious to hit it so forcefully?”
“My keyboard can take a beating and keep on shrieking.” He just looked more confused. “It’s designed to be hit forcefully.”
“Oh.”
A small silence fell as they waited for Halliwell to join them. They both turned toward the door with obvious relief, when he did.
“Right,” Halliwell pulled up another chair. He seemed unsure about how to begin.
“May I ask you a question, sir?” Sara figured someone had to get things moving.
Both men looked surprised. Halliwell nodded.
“Of course.”
“What does the key look like, Commander? Do you have a picture or a drawing of it?”
He looked surprised. And a bit puzzled.
“I’m afraid I do not know.”
“What do the legends say about it?” Sara was actually kind of enjoying herself all the sudden. If they didn’t know what it looked like, then they couldn’t exactly grab it, well, her, now could they?
“That Miri was the keeper of the key.”
“Not too informative, is it?”
He gave a slight, rueful smile. As before, there was charm in it.
“No, it’s not.” He looked at Halliwell. “I didn’t come here to talk about the key.”
It was Sara’s turn to be surprised. “You didn’t?”
She was almost too tired to process a change in direction. She tried to stop a yawn, couldn’t and had to hide it behind a hand.
“Sorry, sir. I’m pretty whacked. Maybe we’d better pick up the pace before my head thumps against the table top.”
“Right.” Halliwell hesitated. “The commander is here to negotiate an alliance between our two peoples and a marriage what they call a bonding between you and their leader.”
Sara blinked once. It didn’t help.
She stared at Halliwell. He shrugged, so she looked at Gaedon.
“What?”
Commander Gaedon smiled a bit ruefully. “I had my argument all prepared, but—”
Sara waited, wondering what had changed his mind.
“I saw I heard you sing this evening.”
Sara tried to think what song could have affected him—
She stiffened and felt color run up into her face.
“After everyone left.” Sara looked down, her fingers going to the table top for some vent tapping.
“I am sorry. By the time we realized it was not my intention to intrude on such a personal moment.”
“It was a public room.” Sara took a deep breath and looked up. “Just for the record, it was a song. I don’t weep or consider my life wasted. I’m very happy—”
He had? Did that mean he was giving them permission? She started to smile and got a warning look from Halliwell.
“—but he felt he still had to make his pitch.”
Sara felt like a wide-eyed owl, as she turned her gaze toward Gaedon, trying to focus on the moment, not her possible wedding. It wasn’t easy.
“It is my duty, you understand.”
Actually, she didn’t understand anything except the part about her and Fyn getting married. She looked at the Colonel again and he nodded, his lips twitching.
Her lips curved up on their own as she told Gaedon, “As a soldier, I understand duty, sir. I’m still confused about the bonding part, though.”
“The leader of our people is a man named Helfron Giddioni.”
“Helfron?” Just saying it made her eye twitch. She didn’t even try to pronounce the last name.
“That’s right. Helfron Giddioni.”
Sara blinked a few times. “Helfron? His name is Helfron?”
Gaedon looked a bit confused. “Of course.”
“Helfron—”
“Captain.” Halliwell broke in. “Perhaps we could move past the name?”
“Sorry, sir.” Helfron? Who named their kid Helfron? Might as well stick a “kick me” sign on his back.
“I have brought a drawing of him for you to see.” Gaedon pulled it out and laid it on the table between them.
Sara pulled it toward her and studied it for a moment. The face was handsome, blonde hair, blue eyes. Snooty expression.
“As you can see, he is very well formed.”
“He is awfully pretty.” She pushed it back to Gaedon. “I don’t usually go over big with pretty guys. Too homely.”
Gaedon’s eyes widened. “Homely? Perhaps that doesn’t mean the same among your people—”
“If it means not pretty, then we’re on the same page.”
Gaedon looked at Halliwell who just shrugged.
“Our leader is most eager to meet you and convince you of his sincere interest in forming a bond with the descendent of Miri.”
Of course he was. Now it was Sara who looked at Halliwell for help. He shrugged again. Being a mediator was clearly a tough gig. Being the object of it wasn’t much better.
Sara rubbed her face, trying to clear the fog. “What?”
Gaedon smiled. “He wishes me, on his behalf, to propose both the bonding and the alliance, to complete the union that should have already happened.”
Sara stared at him. “Um no, thank you—to the bond. Can’t speak to the alliance.”
“I am authorized to offer you inducements. The bonding settlement is the most generous ever offered by a Gadi head of state to—”
“A commoner?” Sara helpfully supplied for him. “Trailer park trash?”
“Why don’t you just let him talk, Captain?” Halliwell gave her a warning look.
“Sorry, sir. Could you give me the high sign when we get to the part where I say no?” She did her owl blink a couple of times.
Gaedon looked a bit discouraged, but he manfully pressed forward. “I have explained to the leader that you were not typical and that you would not be happy with a typical bonding arrangement. He has agreed to permit you certain concessions—”
“Did you just use the word permit?” Sara asked. “Permit as in freaking allow—”
“Captain.”
“Sorry, sir.” Sara shot it out through gritted teeth.
Gaedon tried to explain. “He would not just be your bond mate, he is the leader of all the Gadi.”
“How nice for him.” Sara could feel her temper still wanting to cut loose and she was too tired to completely control it.
“Captain.”
Sara reined in it back in—at least she hoped she did. Tired had thrown in with temper.
“Perhaps you could explain to your leader I’m in charge of what I permit or don’t.” This came out through gritted teeth.
“Clearly our ways are different,” Gaedon said, a bit weakly. His charm seemed to be running out of steam.
“Clearly. And I know who won’t be changing her ways.”
“In a negotiation, both sides must give ground.”
Sara had to give Gaedon chops for trying.
“So what ground is Helfron giving?” Sara did her owl eyes thing, though it wasn’t easy. Her lids felt like ten-ton weights.
Gaedon seemed to like this question. “In addition to supplying you with your own living quarters—” he placed a drawing of a palace looking thing in front of her “—he will also gift you with the Gadi gems.”
Another drawing of jewelry that continued the royal-like theme. Yeah, she could see herself wearing that stuff. Especially the foot tall tiara.
“There is also the traditional wardrobe, which he will provide.”
More drawings. As Sara thumbed through them, her eyebrows shot up. Las Vegas showgirls wore more. She looked at the colonel. His lips twitched. Sara started to open her mouth, but Halliwell grabbed her arm this time. Sara wasn’t sure if he thought she was going to rip the drawings up. Or go for Gaedon’s throat. Sara wasn’t sure either.
“And he will also provide you with your own ship.”
Gaedon smiled hopefully as he pushed this last drawing toward her.
Sara stared at it for a long time.
“It’s pink.”
“It is the,” Gaedon seemed unsure how to explain, “…it identifies a member of the leader’s entourage, or the leader himself.”
Identifies him as what?
“Pink.” Sara couldn’t think of anything to add to this, but, “and pretty.”
He nodded hopefully. “It is, is it not? No other Gadi female has a ship of any kind. This is one of the Leader’s personal craft he is willing to gift to you.”
She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. Finally she looked at Halliwell.
“Can I say no now, sir?”
Before he could speak, Gaedon jumped in.
“In a negotiation, counter terms are offered.”
Counter terms? He was so going to be sorry he said that.
She smiled. It seemed to make both men nervous. Actually, they should be afraid, very afraid.
“I want my own Air Force. I’ve always wanted my own command.” She grinned at Halliwell. “All women. No men allowed. And no pink birds. Black. With red racing stripes. And uniforms that don’t shop the wares.”
Gaedon opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, but nothing came out. Halliwell tried not to smile. At one point, he coughed.
“And oh, I know. I want Helfron’s job. I want to be leader. I think it’s time, past time actually, that a woman stepped up and made some long overdue changes around here. And no bonding with him.” She gave Gaedon a limpid look. “He can keep the house, the jewelry, the hooker clothes, and the girl bird. And he doesn’t even have to shove them up his—”
“Captain!”
Sara smiled sweetly at Gaedon. Gaedon tugged at the collar of his uniform.
“That’s my counter offer.”
“I can’t tell our leader these things. Surely we can find better middle ground?”
“There is no middle ground between this—” Sara shoved the drawings back his direction. “And what I’d need to survive. I realize you haven’t known me long, but did you really think you could buy me with that…foxtrot sierra?”
The colonel coughed, but didn’t speak. What could he say? She hadn’t actually said the f-word or the s-word.
“Is that another technical term?” Gaedon asked.
“Very technical.” She looked at the drawings and felt anger try to spike again. “The problem you have is that you’ve got nothing I want. I like my life. I love my guy. I didn’t ask for this and I don’t want it.”
“You would be doing a great service for your people and for ours
.”
“Service? I do my service in the cockpit of my bird. I risk my life for my country. That is plenty to ask for.”
She stared at him for a long moment.
“You know, I don’t see a lot of respect for women in this galaxy. You say he’d permit me certain concessions. How do I know he wouldn’t suddenly decide to un-permit them once he got what he wanted? Near as I can see, I’d have no rights, no freedom and no one to appeal to. He’s not giving ground, he’s giving stuff. Stuff I’ve never asked for or wanted, by the way. A foxtrot pink bird?” Her temper started to slip its leash. “You say you’re better than the Dusan and I guess you are. Kind of. Adin thought I was prostitute. You think I’m a gold digger who can be bought for some trinkets and a piece of shit pink ship. Could you be any more foxtrot insulting—”
“Captain.”
Sara bit back the rest of the speech. It was a pity. It was a good one, practically Susan, foxtrot, B. Anthony.
Sara couldn’t see either of them. She was seeing red. She took some deep breaths. Then she took some more. The red faded a bit. Now it was just a deep pink—same as his stinking girl bird.
Gaedon tried a weak smile. “Perhaps the color could be changed. You seem to have a strong dislike for pink.”
Sara opened her mouth, but closed it again. She couldn’t even think of the euphemisms for the swear words that wanted to come out.
“It was not my intention to insult you.” Gaedon sighed. “We are both soldiers and are called on to make sacrifices for the greater good of our people. We do our duty. I merely wished to point out that there would also be benefits to you if you were to make this sacrifice for your people and ours.”
Damn, no time to pack for that guilt trip. So she wouldn’t go.
“It is not in the nature of our people,” Halliwell seemed to understand that Sara was choking on all she wanted to say, “to require this type of sacrifice from our people. Our alliances are based on trade and economics, not bondings between men and women. It is not even part of our history as a country. Personal freedom is at the root of our law and it is what we are proud to defend with our lives.”
Sara looked at the Old Man and smiled. That was Bravo Zulu. She turned to Gaedon.
“Surely you can see that I’m more likely to cause a war than end one.”
Nebula Nights: Love Among The Stars Page 203