by Ines Johnson
Contents
Copyright
Front Matter
PART TWO
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
PART THREE
Chapter One
The Cindermama series
Connectivity
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright 2015 by N. S. Seneb
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission of the author.
Edited by Dragonfly Editing
Cover design by Yocla Designs
Manufactured in the United States of America
First Edition May 2015
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Chapter One
The sun's rays lapped at Merlyn's cheek trying to pull her from the depths of sleep and into the dawn. Merlyn fought against the current and burrowed under her sheets. From beneath the covers, a warm hand slid behind her head. She felt each of the five fingers envelop the nape of her neck. The smallest finger crested at the tip of her ear. The thumb curved at her throat. The three fingers in the middle banded together to tilt her head up.
Merlyn went with the flow. She ceased to wonder how this was possible while she was alone in her bedroom. She went beyond a quest for understanding or data collection. She met warm lips. Her eyes were closed, which allowed the feelings and sensations to show clearly in her mind.
Warmth.
Softness.
Wetness.
Throbbing.
Need.
Her lips parted and, in her mind, a tongue seeped through, breaking the dam of desire she never knew welled inside her. Merlyn marveled at the softness of his lips and the firmness of his fingers. Her legs parted, heels digging into the mattress. But a second later, she pressed her legs together. Why were they pressing together when she wanted to open herself wide to him?
Friction.
Her legs pressed together seeking friction to relieve the tension rising inside her. Her hands reached out to bring Jaspir to her. Merlyn arched her body. Her hands reached out but came up with air.
He moaned her name. The sound crashed into her knees, which knocked together so hard her toes rang. Then she realized it wasn't Jaspir's voice, it was Liam's.
In her mind's eye, Merlyn saw Liam's red curls tangled in her fingers. Liam's pale thighs entwined with her brown legs. "We've done it," he said with a grin on his face, a gleam in his eyes.
The haze, that a moment ago clouded Merlyn's head, cleared. She sank into the depths of the tepid waters alongside Liam. A sense of peace, no, victory washed over her. The fingers of Liam's free hand twined with hers, linking them together. With her hand in his, Merlyn felt strong, united. She looked into his clear, capable, steady eyes. The victorious feeling in the crown of her head grew, pushing at the borders of her brain, seeking to expand. Like the waters, it did not want to be contained. Merlyn leaned her body into Liam, allowing his hand, which still held her neck, to command their course.
Liam allowed her head to fall back. Merlyn gasped as she met another set of warm lips at the nape of her neck. The lips traveled up to her ear. This time Jaspir's voice whispered to her. "I will love you every day of my life."
Merlyn's thighs scissored together seeking relief. Her body arched back to meet Jaspir's. Her heart pounded rapidly in her chest. Her breath came out in pants as he continued to nibble at her ear, her throat, her cheek. Her body felt immersed in hot springs. Searing water burned her skin where his lips touched her; a branding she'd first come to know as a girl.
When Liam's mouth crushed hers once more, Merlyn felt pulled in two different directions. Liam's fingers, supporting her head as he kissed her mouth, made her feel invincible. Jaspir's hands, tracing a blazing trail from her heart southward, set her on fire.
Merlyn awoke in a tangle of sheets. She bolted straight up, panting, and looking wildly around the room. Her body was on fire, her mind awhirl. After a few moments of deep breathing, she crashed back onto the mattress.
Now that her mind was her own again, she did a mental scan of her symptoms.
Her heart raced.
She panted. She felt the uptick of her flaring nostrils.
Her palms sweat, along with other parts of her anatomy.
Nearly every system of her body was currently engaged. Jaspir had said he felt this way every time he thought of her. Merlyn now feared for his health. The body needed to maintain a level of homeostasis, stability, and equilibrium to function normally. This love situation continually caused disturbance. This love business could take a physical toll on the body.
But who were these symptoms in response to? Jaspir or Liam?
Liam's kiss was so similar to Jaspir's. He made her feel all the same things that Jaspir had. Did that mean she loved Liam now? Or did she only love Jaspir when she was with him? But that had been a dream just now. But then, she'd been dreaming of them both and experiencing the indications of love. But could you love more than once person at the same time?
Merlyn threw off the covers. She went to her closet. Her monochrome wardrobe stared back at her. In the back of the closet was a dress Alyss had gotten for her. It was a deep purple dress with white stripes along the bodice. Merlyn reached for the dress. It was completely impractical to wear in the lab.
She put it on and went to her mirror.
She looked nothing like herself. The purple complimented the earthy brown of her skin. The stripes along the bodice slimmed her waist, making her hips look curvier than they actually were. Merlyn hesitated, hands braced to pull the garment over her head.
She let the material fall back into place and headed out of the door.
Like every other morning of her life, Merlyn walked down the hallway. The pictures of the great women of science seemed to smile back at her today. If her trials proved successful, she might join them in their place of honor one day. The thought put a pep in Merlyn's step.
When she got to the lab, a flash of red hair bent over a work table stopped her in her tracks. She couldn't face Liam. Not after their kiss. Not after her dream. She turned and hurried for the front door, bypassing calls from her Mother and Grand Mother. She crossed the threshold of her home and ducked into her conveyance.
Starting the car, Merlyn wasn't sure which direction to turn. She couldn't return to the bordello where Jaspir worked. Jaspir told her not to come back. Merlyn had never been accused of being the most insightful person when it came to emotions, but she did understand why Jaspir turned her out the door.
All odds were against them. They couldn't thrive together. A discarded son and a lady of her stature. Her Mother and Grand Mother would never allow them any level of stasis. Society would be a constant disturbance. She'd never complete her work in such a state.
She should get out of the car and go back into the house. She could thrive with Liam. Together they could reach a high level of stasis. With Liam she could accomplish untold breakthroughs.
Merlyn hunched in her conveyance, and
pulled away from the house. Her direction was aimless for the first ten minutes of her journey. Until she pulled up to the familiar two story home.
"Lady Chanyn is in the gardens," said the manservant, Rianald, when she was admitted inside the great house.
Merlyn made her way to the back of the house. Chanyn's gardens reminded her of the gardens of her youth, before her Grand Mother wiped out the budding flowers for practical produce. These gardens were a burst of color as far as the eye could see. Alyss, who'd never visited Chanyn's home, would love the array of color. Jaspir would love to put his hands into the dirt and study the roots.
"Merlyn." Chanyn came toward her, her smile as big as her belly. "What a lovely surprise."
Merlyn accepted Chanyn's embrace. They had been embracing for months now, but the gesture was still awkward for Merlyn. Chanyn never seemed to mind.
"What brings you here?"
"I've had a breakthrough," Merlyn said.
Chanyn smiled. "In what area of your life?"
"In my work, of course. I've made a scientific find that will change the world."
"Merlyn, that's fantastic."
Merlyn nodded her head automatically. "Mother's proud. Grand Mother is elated. If you can believe that."
"I can't imagine it." Chanyn shook her head while smiling. "I'd love to hear all about it. Let's sit outside. It's such a beautiful day."
Merlyn hadn't noticed the weather. She was rarely outside of her lab. And when she was, she usually kept her head down, looking over her notes on a handheld, and never up towards the sky.
Merlyn looked up now and she saw a pair of birds flying together. They criss-crossed one another, dipping and twining as though in a game of tag. "Do you think animals experience the conditions of love?"
"I do," said Chanyn. "I think every living being has the capacity for love."
"I'm not certain any longer. I've always thought love was a misnomer; a label humankind gave to their biological imperatives. It's imperative for all living creatures to acquire food, shelter, and the ability to reproduce. Humans choose to meet these imperatives in pair and group bonds. It's not crucial to remain in that same pair or group bond to survive. Yet humans, and some animals, bond for life."
"Life is more pleasant when you spend it with those who care about you and your well-being." Chanyn ran a hand over her belly. Her hand came to rest in her lap. Her fingers rubbed the gems on her bond band.
"Perhaps." Merlyn looked down at her own bare fingers. In a matter of weeks, she'd have her own stones. "But when you look at the design of copulation, it's entirely flawed. Did know that males send, on average, three hundred million spermatozoa, per penetrative ejaculate, into a woman's cervix in hopes of fertilizing a single egg?"
"Um, no I wasn't aware of that."
"For twenty-four days of the month, those sperm fail. It's inefficient," said Merlyn. "The natural conclusion is that routine intercourse is a waste of time."
"Well, I wouldn't go that far." Chanyn reached out her hand and placed it atop Merlyn's. "Listen, Merlyn, it's understandable if you're feeling nervous about your bonding. I know that Liam cares about you. I can see it in his eyes. But your bonding won't be for a while yet."
"It'll be in a month's time. They've found a suitable second mate."
"Oh? Is he not to your liking?"
Merlyn had never considered what she liked.
"The choice of bondmates is your own, Merlyn," Chanyn continued.
"My life's not like yours Chanyn. Everything has always been planned for me. Planned by my Mother and Grand Mother. The only choices I have are what I do in my lab, and even that has been dictated by their desires."
"What do you want?"
No one had ever asked her that question before.
Merlyn looked up at the sky. The lovebirds were long gone, far off on the horizon. No trace left of their play.
Merlyn's heart beat steadily. Her palms were dry. Her eyes narrowed as she stared into the sun. She took a deep breath, noticing that her head was as clear as the sky. Her life may have been designed by others, but options had presented themselves before. Her choice had always been to stay the course that was set before her or fail.
She could've chosen to fail. It had never occurred to her to try. She didn't want to fail. She loved her work and she wanted to excel at it.
"I want what I've always dreamed: to be a great woman of science."
Chapter Two
"You'll need to have the final payment in by the end of the month, otherwise you will forfeit your deposit and the land will go to the next bidder."
"Don't worry. You'll have your money," Jaspir told the land agent.
The woman looked at him with doubt, but she took his money. Men were allowed to own land, but the land was typically passed down from Mother to son.
Rarely did young lords buy land of their own. Even more rare could a discard, with no family status or connections, afford even a small parcel.
Jaspir left the land agent's offices and made the return to Stallions. When he got to the dark, one story building, he stood outside the door and stared up at it. It was the third place he'd called home. And it had been a home. He'd been accepted inside these walls. No one ever threatened to throw him out --as long as he met his quota when under contract; and later paid his monthly dues and rent.
Jaspir entered the establishment and saw Garren sitting at his concierge desk. Jaspir walked over and handed Garren notice, along with advanced payment, for his rooms until the end of the month.
Garren balked. His olive tone skin turned green as he looked down at the paper work that ended Jaspir's run at the establishment. "So, some old cougar has finally come up with the right price for the fastidious monk?"
That's what happened with most of the stallions who were ready for retirement. They'd move on to be kept by a wealthy woman in a small house or apartment. Garren had never received such a proposal.
"No," said Jaspir. "I'm purchasing my own land with my own money."
Garren scoffed. The men of the establishment rarely saved past a week's salary if they saved at all. Kept men were used to keeping themselves in all of the best luxury and finery.
"You've always thought you were better than all of us," Garren said. "You and your pleasure training. I wasn't coddled and preened. My talents were Goddess given."
"Apparently the Goddess plans to keep you exactly where you are for the rest of your life. She has different plans for me."
"The only woman who has plans with you, my love, is me."
Jaspir hesitated to turn at the sound of Lady Myra's high-pitched voice. He let out a sigh, plastered on the serene smile he'd copied from his former teacher, Elder Gerry, and turned.
Halfway around, Jaspir remembered that he no longer needed to placate anyone or any woman.
"You're late for our appointment, Jas. I expect you to make it up to me."
Jaspir caught her hand before it landed on his chest. "My apologies, my lady." Jaspir released her hand and bowed, stepping back and beyond her reach. "My services are no longer available at this establishment."
Her face crumpled in confusion. "I don't understand. Have you been fired?" Lady Myra cast an evil glare at Garren.
"No, my lady," said Jaspir.
"Have you entered a contract with some other hussy?"
"No, my lady."
"Then what? I don't understand."
"I've quit. I'll be moving on."
"Moving on to where? To what?"
"Away. To a place where I will serve no woman or man, save myself."
Lady Myra looked dumbfounded. "That's preposterous. You're a man, a discard, a whore. You were made to serve."
Jaspir's mouth straightened. "All true. And I'm thrilled that I will no longer have to service you or any other entitled, grand dam who disrespects her bond while trying to cling to her youth."
Jaspir turned and left the establishment. He looked up in the sky and saw birds flying, migrating to a warmer clime
as the winter approached. With his schedule clear for longer than a few hours or a single day, Jaspir wasn't quite sure what to do with his own time.
His feet carried him down a familiar path. He'd heard that the temple was near ruins after he left. He'd heard about the scandal with his brother, Jian. Jian had been one of his favorite brothers. His other two brothers, Adom and Emet, who'd also left the temple, he saw on a fairly regular basis. But he hadn't seen Jian in years. He'd missed the company of the male, but outsiders were not allowed to breach the temple gates, and Jaspir was now an outsider.
Jaspir stood at the temple gates, on the outside looking in. The temple didn't look as though it was in dire straits. The roof looked new. A fresh coat of paint adorned the front. The top domes gleamed bright in the sun. Suddenly, a familiar face appeared at the temple doors. As the face walked closer, Jaspir couldn't hide his grin.
"Brother Jian."
Jian looked up and his face lit. "Jaspir?"
Jian covered the remaining distance quickly, his long strides bringing him to Jaspir in no time. And then Jaspir was being embraced.
Jaspir was not an emotional man, but tears threatened his eyes as he clasped the back of one of the only people he considered family.
"By the Goddess, it's good to see you, my brother." Jian pulled away and beamed down at Jaspir's face.
"I haven't been a Brother for many years."
"You will always be my brother," Jian continued. "Vows or not."
Those words warmed Jaspir's heart. He took in his old friend. There was something different about the male. His head was still shaven clean, as was the way of the monks, but his clothing was different. He wore the linen shirt and slacks of a regular male. "So, it's true. You're no longer a Brother either?"
"I gave up my vows," Jian answered.
Merlyn had said one of his brothers told her where to find him. So Jian knew about his stay at Stallions.