by Marni Mann
I looked down at her feet and kept my hands at my sides. “Good night, Brea.”
And then I started walking.
Brea
I watched Trapper disappear down the sidewalk, not knowing if I wanted to scream or cry or chase him down. I knew why he left; I just didn’t want him to. We could have talked in circles all night and into the early hours of the morning, and I would have been fine with that. I just wanted him here. I just wanted to be around him.
What did that mean?
I pushed the door shut and walked to my bedroom. A piece of clothing came off with each step until I was fully naked, crawling onto the mattress, and pulling the blanket over my bare skin. My stomach growled, probably from hunger. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten, and I had no idea what time it was. Those details didn’t matter. I was far too consumed with everything that had happened tonight.
Cody and Trapper.
Good God.
When I closed my eyes, it was Trapper I saw. The scar above his eyebrow and the one under his chin stared back at me, and so did the storminess of his eyes. Their distinct personalities came through in their faces, too. Trapper’s edginess made his features a bit sharper; Cody’s carefree happiness made his softer. Identical yet not at all, especially in the way they touched me.
I could feel Trapper’s fingers running up and down my sides. The memory made me shiver, his cool presence spreading all the way to my toes. I rubbed the spot on my neck where he had kissed when we were in the kitchen. It was as if his lips left something on my skin that made it tingle. It wasn’t a memory. It was something stronger, something that stirred a feeling deep inside me. A feeling I’d never had before…
“You’re so beautiful,” Cody said.
I waited until he was done eating breakfast before straddling his lap at the kitchen table.
“Even when there’s maple syrup on your face.” He wiped my cheek and licked his thumb. Then he tapped my nose with it before kissing me. It was something he always did—tap, smile, small kiss.
It made me smile, and I enjoyed it, but sometimes, I wished he would clutch my face and draw my lips roughly to his. I wished he would show me the passion he felt for me with a bit more force and strength. I wished he would come up behind me while I was washing the dishes, wrap his hands around my waist, and show me just how beautiful he thought I was.
That just wasn’t Cody. It never had been. And it was something I had learned to accept.
I tucked my face into his neck and cuddled into his chest. This was my safe place, and I loved it even if it had no edges, no danger. Less passion than maybe I would have wanted. It was the spot where I felt warm and safe. Nothing could hurt me here. I was comfortable…so comfortable.
“Love you, babe.”
I closed my eyes and breathed in his smell. “Love you.”
Too comfortable.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared at the ceiling. The image in my head was a little different now. Now, it was missing the scars, and the darkness had been lifted from his eyes.
“I thought I had you back, Cody,” I said aloud. “I thought you’d come home to me, that you’d been lying for the last two years. Hiding from me and everyone else. I thought, when I was finally ready to touch you again, that I would get to feel the warmth of you one more time. I was angry with you. I was scared. A part of me was even relieved. I don’t really know who Trapper is. I don’t know what makes him smile or how to get him to laugh or what happened in his past that has made him so dark. But I think I want to find out. I think I need to. And I think you would want me to.”
I rolled over and closed my eyes. The scar was back, and it brought some scary realizations with it. Even if I wanted to ignore Trapper, I didn’t know that I could. Even if that meant every time I would look at him, I would see Cody. I would think of Cody. I would remember what Cody and I had together. I didn’t think time would change that. I just knew that I wanted to see Trapper again and that I didn’t want him to go tonight.
“Hey, Frankie,” I whispered as I held the phone to my ear, my throat dry and crackly.
“You were sleeping?”
I checked the time; it was a little past six in the morning. “Shocking, isn’t it? I’m sure the wine probably helped.”
“I just got off the phone with Derek.”
I sat up, pushing my back against the pillows, as I wrapped the blanket over me. “And?”
“He had nothing but wonderful things to say about Trapper. Derek did a full remodel on his townhouse, and they’ve hung out several times since. And it happened while Cody was still alive, Brea. I don’t know what that means, but—”
“They’re not the same person,” I confirmed. “Trapper came over here last night, and we talked.”
“I had a feeling. Derek said he gave him your address.”
“They’re twins.” I bent my knees and wrapped my arms around them. “I’m going to have my connection look into it.”
“You’re sure?”
“Same birthday, both adopted, their faces are identical, except for the scars that Trapper has.”
“Oh my God.”
“I know.” This reminded me that I needed to update Net on what I’d found out. I’d sent him Trapper’s last name, but I hadn’t told him anything beyond that. “I’ll get to the bottom of it…whatever that bottom looks like.”
“This could get messy.”
“No, spilling wine on my clothes would be messy. This is…well, I don’t even know how to describe this, but I know I’m right in the middle of it. Did Derek happen to say how he met Trapper?”
“Max Dawson introduced them.”
Max was a longtime client of Frankie’s. He’d purchased condos all over the city, even one in Derek’s building. He flipped some of the higher-end units and kept a massive portfolio of rentals that I managed for him. He rocked a comb-over, only wore suits, and was driven around the city by a chauffeur. I couldn’t imagine how Trapper would know him.
“Seems like an odd pairing,” I said.
“Does it? I’m surprised you’d think anything is odd after all this.”
“Good point.”
“Tell me what happened last night when he came over. He’s not there now, is he?”
I tried to ignore the city noise happening outside my window. “No, he left last night. He asked some questions about Cody, and we pieced a few things together. Then I think he got to a point where he didn’t know what to say. So, he left. I think it’s too much for him.”
“What about you?”
Was I ready to tell Frankie that Trapper was the last person I thought of before I’d fallen asleep, that I wanted him here now, even more than I had last night? That, in my mind, I was considering something more with someone I hardly knew…someone who just happened to be Cody’s twin brother.
“The mess you mentioned earlier?” I said. “Yeah, that’s me. One hot fucking mess.” I climbed out of bed and headed toward the kitchen. “I would love to know why the twins got separated and adopted individually and how they never knew about each other.” I hit the button on my coffeemaker and waited while it poured a single cup.
“Will the answer change anything for you?”
I splashed some flavored creamer into the mug. “Probably not.” I sighed longer than I needed to. “All I wanted was a nice guy with a beautiful cock, and instead, I get a guy who has the same face as Cody.”
“Their cocks are probably twins, too, right?”
A laugh burst from my lips. “You could be onto something, Frankie.”
Cody might not have been the most passionate man in bed, but he wasn’t lacking in size. At all.
“I swear, this shit only happens to me.”
She laughed right along with me. “I wish I had something wise to tell you right now. But there just isn’t any advice in the friendship manual for this type of situation.”
She was trying. I knew she’d stick with me, no matter how it turned out, no matte
r what I decided to do.
“This whole thing is just fucked, and there’s no easy answer.” I took a sip of my coffee, knowing I would probably be switching to wine in a few hours. “It went from best-case scenario to the worst as soon as I saw him without his mask.”
“There’s no denying that. But maybe…”
“Yes?”
“There are two sides to this—finding out what happened to the twins and figuring out your relationship with Trapper.”
I climbed back into bed with my mug.
“I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t address the relationship part of this. I understand everything that worries you, and I understand why you would both need time to think it through. But I hope you don’t walk away without giving it a chance.”
I smiled as I brought the mug up to my lips. Frankie’s advice was really surprising me. After what we had learned, I never thought she’d encourage a relationship with him.
“Do you think I could date Trapper and not feel guilty about it?”
“Answer this first. What do the guys have in common?”
“From what I know, nothing. Besides their faces, I wouldn’t have even known they’re related.”
“I’ve seen the way you smile when you talk about him. I’ve seen the sex-crazed look you get when you tell me about your exchanges. You don’t get those feelings from a face, Brea. You get them from a personality, from the emotions he inspires, from who he is deep within. Those brothers didn’t grow up together, and they have nothing in common, other than their DNA. And I bet, once you learn everything there is about Trapper, you won’t see Cody at all when you look at him. Pretty soon, they’re going to be two separate people.”
I wiggled a little lower and pushed my head against the pillows. “These are all valid points.”
“So, my answer is, yes, I do think you could date Trapper without feeling guilty about it. Had you met him unmasked, you’d have been terrified because he’s Cody’s double. But you felt something for him before you saw his face, and that’s entirely different. Those feelings were real, Brea. They weren’t just sexual attraction.”
“I didn’t want him to leave last night,” I confessed. “I don’t know what I wanted to happen between us, but I hated the way I felt when he walked out the door.”
“You like him, more than you’re willing to admit to yourself.”
“But what if he doesn’t like me, especially now that he knows I’ve been with his brother?”
“It isn’t as if he knew his brother while you were with him. And it’s not like they were competing for you. He’d be crazy not to pursue you. You’re the most amazing woman, and you give yourself so completely when you love someone.”
“Maybe that’ll scare him away.”
“If it does, then he isn’t worth being with.”
I took another sip of my coffee and set the mug on the nightstand. Then I buried my face under the blanket. She always knew the right things to say.
“Only me…”
“Yes, you’re the only person I know who could have something like this happen to her, but you’re also the only one who could handle something like this. You survived a tragedy so sudden and so overwhelming, and you healed from it. You found yourself again. Now, you’re moving on, and that’s okay.”
Moving on…with my dead boyfriend’s identical twin. Would my parents think it was okay? Cody hadn’t just been a part of my life; he’d been a part of theirs, too. If I moved forward with Trapper, I would have a lot of explaining to do to the people who had really cared about his brother.
“Next time, I’m going to wish for a small cock,” I said. “That would be much easier to deal with than this.”
There was silence for a second, and then we both burst out laughing.
“Forget I said that. No one wants a small cock.”
Trapper
“The pickup went really well,” Adrianna said as she walked into my place. She found me on the couch where I’d been sitting since I returned from Brea’s over twelve hours ago. “All the imports have been checked in, and things are getting settled at the compound.” She sat next to me. “I was going to leave this in the fridge, but since you’re home, here.” She dropped a paper bag in my lap. “I expected you to come in this morning—or at least reach out to tell me you weren’t.” She put her hand on my forehead, like she was checking my temperature. “Are you not feeling well?”
I shrugged it off. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You look like hell.” She leaned in a little closer. “And you smell like something wicked.”
I stretched my legs onto the coffee table and was careful not to hit any of the twelve empty bottles of beer. “Long night, that’s all.”
I felt her fingers on my shoulder and turned away from her. “Talk to me, Trapper.”
What the hell was there to say? Things had just gotten more fucked up than they already were. And this was different than the fucked-up things Adrianna already knew about. This was about my real family—a word that had no meaning to me until I was twelve.
“Do you remember seeing anything about me having a brother?”
She froze. I knew her answer before she said it.
“I would have told you if I’d seen anything like that.”
“I know. But I had to ask.”
“So, you’re telling me you have one? And you’ve met him?”
“No. He’s dead.” I wanted to cut this off before she asked too many questions. “I don’t know for sure if he was my brother. When I find out, I’ll tell you.”
“Jesus.” She opened the bag she’d placed on my lap, handing me the sandwich and chips that were inside. “Eat. Please.” She looked at all the beer bottles. “You really need something solid in your stomach.” Adrianna thought food fixed everything.
“I’ll eat it later.” I set the sandwich and chips on the table. “So, when’s the next pickup?”
“Trapper, you obviously just found out this information and I think we should talk about it before we even think about discussing the pickup.”
“There’s really nothing to say.” There was one other person I would be telling this to, and then I was done talking about Cody until Brea found something out.
“You’re clearly rattled.” She now pointed at the bottles. “Had I found out something as heavy as that, I would be, too. I’m here to listen, if that’ll make you feel any better.”
I wasn’t rattled. I was fucking pissed. There was someone out there to blame for taking my brother from me. I wanted to find out who that person was and why they did this to us. Adrianna couldn’t help me with that.
“I appreciate it.” I took her hand off my shoulder and held it between my fingers.
Her eyes were so soft, her touch so motherly. She and Vera were the closest things I had to a mother. I could trust her, but that didn’t change how I felt.
“I still don’t want to talk about it.”
“I understand, and that’s fine. I’m here when you’re ready.”
“I know.”
“But I still want you to eat.” She picked up the sandwich and put it back on my lap.
It smelled good and the bread looked sticky just how I liked it. Ah, hell. I took a bite to make her happy.
A grin filled her face as she watched me chew. “As for the upcoming pickup, the notes I have on the buyer aren’t the prettiest.”
“Where is it?”
“It’s a referral.”
I took a sip of warm beer. “A local one, huh?”
She nodded. “That’s why I’m so worried about it. You know how I feel when we do pickups in Boston.”
We didn’t like to do pickups in the state, especially anywhere near the city. We did them, but they were just a little harder, and they stressed Adrianna the fuck out. You weren’t supposed to shit where you ate…and we weren’t supposed to sell where we bought.
“When’s the pickup?” I asked.
“Tomorrow night. Does
that give you enough time to get me some backup?”
“Hell yeah. You and your assistant won’t be going alone; don’t worry.”
“Thank you,” she said.
I took another bite, surprised by how hungry I was.
“We have one more business thing to discuss. Feel up to chatting about the financials?”
“Yeah, show me what you’ve got.”
She pulled out her tablet and handed it to me. I tapped the screen, and a spreadsheet popped up, showing the rate in which our sales had increased over the last two years. Then it broke down our profit and loss and our list of active clients. We were up to forty-five. We’d been at forty-three when I was in Vegas.
“Two new clients?”
“We’re expanding fast, and now that you’re back from the tournament, we have to talk about the compound.” She meant the construction of a new wing, more staff, and a second assistant—things I’d been putting off because it involved so much risk. “Let’s start with the addition that’s needed at the compound,” she continued. “You’ve mentioned Derek Block. Do you think he could do the job?”
Block could do the job. But could I trust him to keep his mouth shut? I didn’t like that there was a chance Brea could find out because of how connected they were.
“I’ve got to think about that one, Adrianna. It’s a big move, and I’ve got to make sure it’s the right one for us.”
There was a change in her eyes. I didn’t like it.
“Maybe the timing isn’t right. You have a lot going on, and I don’t want—”
“The timing is fine.”
“I just don’t want you to be distracted.”
“Finding out I might have had a brother”—I pushed the darkness and anger out of my head, so I didn’t raise my voice—“is even more of a reason to do this. You don’t have to question how much I want this.”
“You’re right.” She squeezed my shoulder, her way of emphasizing it was what she wanted to hear. “I’ve also been thinking about our rates. I believe we need to increase them to offset the expansion and the hike in fuel cost.”