by Marni Mann
Frankie and I settled on the couch. Janie and Rick took the chairs across from us. The fire crackled behind them.
“So, you have a client in Connecticut?” Janie asked.
“Yes, he’s looking for a house not too far from here,” Frankie said. It was a tiny lie we’d come up with in the car.
“Aren’t you working in leasing now?” Rick asked me.
I nodded. “It’s a mutual client of ours.”
Frankie picked up a cookie and nibbled on it. “The house will be an investment property,” Frankie clarified. “Brea will handle the rental, and I’ll negotiate the sale.”
“I see,” Janie said. “Well, we’re awfully happy you decided to stop by.” She poured tea into two cups and placed them in front of us. “Please help yourself to some snacks, Brea. I know a few of your favorites are in there.”
“Thank you.” I took one of the brownies and set it on a plate in front of me. I had no intentions of eating it. I didn’t even have the stomach to drink the tea. “I’ve been thinking about Cody a lot lately, maybe because the anniversary is coming up, and I realized there are still a few things I don’t know about his childhood. I’m hoping the answers will give me some closure.” I reminded myself to breathe again.
Janie looked at her husband and then back at me. “What kind of questions do you have?”
While drying my hair that morning, I’d rehearsed what I was going to say. I knew what I wanted answered, so why was it so hard to ask?
“Cody never told me where you adopted him from,” I said. “Seems silly now, but that was such a huge part of his life, so I feel like it’s something I should know.”
“It was through an attorney in Boston,” Janie said. “Cody was just about two months old and the most perfect bundle of love you’d ever seen. He was swaddled up in a blanket, all ready to come home with us.”
“So, he didn’t come from the foster care system?”
“We honestly don’t know,” Rick said. “Sandra Holmes—that was our attorney—had us pick him up at her office. She never said anything about foster care.”
“And you never asked?” Frankie said.
Janie sat even straighter. “Well, it all happened very quickly.”
“His birth mother wasn’t there when you picked him up?” I asked.
“No,” Janie said, lifting her tea to take a sip. “We weren’t given a chance to meet her.”
Rick looked at his wife, but he spoke to me, “The attorney never even gave us her name.”
“That’s unfortunately true,” Janie confirmed, “or her medical history. That part I was adamant about, but the attorney said it couldn’t be provided. His birth certificate isn’t the original.”
That seemed very strange to me. The look on Frankie’s face told me she agreed.
“Did Cody ever ask about her?” I asked.
“Once in a while and never anything deep. If Cody wanted to meet his birth mother, we wouldn’t have stopped him. We would have told him everything we knew, but there wasn’t anything to tell him. We still know nothing about her.”
Cody’s job gave him access to confidential information, sealed records that he probably could have opened. If his parents were hiding any knowledge from his birth, Cody would have been able to find it. His parents wouldn’t risk that, which meant I had no choice but to believe them. And I believed they would have told him regardless because they loved him and wanted what was best for him. But that didn’t mean they would tell me, and they were under no obligation to.
“What other questions do you have, dear?” Rick asked.
I glanced at Frankie. She shrugged, which was her way of saying we were done here.
“I think that’s it,” I said. “I appreciate you answering my questions. I know it’s not easy to talk about.”
“Cody’s adoption is the one thing that is easy for us to discuss,” Janie said.
“Then do you mind telling us how it came about?” Frankie asked.
Rick reached his hand out, and Janie clasped her fingers around it.
“We tried for so long to get pregnant. We pursued every treatment, but nothing worked. So, we settled on adoption. We were so stressed at first, worrying that it was going to take years for them to find us a baby. It only took a few weeks, and our attorney called and said she had a little boy.” Janie’s chin was shaking, her lips quivering. “Every bit of stress, every unsuccessful medical procedure—it was all worth it once I had him in my arms…” Her voice trailed off, and an uncomfortable silence took over.
I looked down at my hands that were crossed in my lap, remembering all the times I’d sat on this couch and drunk tea and eaten sweets like the ones she’d made for us today. And the four of us had all talked so much—about our jobs and apartments, about our life in the city. Now, there was nothing left to say. Perfection was something they could control, and I understood that. But I was in a totally different place. Now that there was no Cody, we had nothing in common, and nothing to keep us connected anymore.
“Brea,” Frankie said softly, “I’m afraid if we don’t leave soon, we’ll be late for the showing.”
I checked my watch even though it didn’t matter what time it was. “You’re right.”
“So soon?” Janie asked, wiping the corners of her eyes. The tears hadn’t actually spilled; they just filled her eyes and threatened to. “But you just got here.”
“Unfortunately, we have to,” I said. “Thank you again for welcoming us into your home and for making this amazing spread.”
“You didn’t even eat your brownie.” She pointed at it with her head. “I’ll pack you up some treats to take home with you.”
“That would be great,” I said.
Janie disappeared into the kitchen, returning a few seconds later with two metal tins. There were plastic snowflakes glued to the top of them with bows that matched.
“Thank you,” Frankie said, holding the tin under her elbow. “It was so nice meeting you both.” She shook their hands.
“You as well,” they both said as they walked us to the door.
I hugged them good-bye and went down the first few steps.
“Please say hello to your parents for us,” Janie said.
“I will.”
“Oh, Brea, before I forget, did you see the e-mail I sent you yesterday? I never got a reply from you.”
Shit.
I’d seen her e-mail all right, and I was hoping I’d get out of here before she brought it up. She had written out an itinerary of everything she wanted to do on the anniversary of Cody’s death and asked if I would come along. I couldn’t do it this time. I had to move on, to celebrate in my own way.
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it this year.” It was a heavy statement, and I could tell we were all feeling its weight.
“Oh no,” Janie said.
There was pain in both of their faces. It wasn’t my intention to hurt them, but there was no way around it.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “Something came up. That’s why I wanted to make sure I stopped by here today.”
“We understand,” Rick said.
Janie’s tears didn’t agree. They had finally fallen, her arms now wrapping around her stomach, like it ached. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?” she said.
“Okay.” I waved as I hurried down the remaining steps and over to Frankie’s car.
She handed the keys and her tin of treats to me.
“You want me to drive?” I asked.
“Yes. I think I ate too many cookies, and I’m feeling sick. Get them away from me. I don’t even want to smell them.”
I climbed into the driver’s seat and put both tins on the floor behind me. “You had three, didn’t you?”
“No, I had five.”
I started the car and rolled down her window. “I know it’s freezing, but the cool air might help you feel better.”
“I think my head is going to be hanging out of it in a minute.”
&nbs
p; “Keeping it classy.”
She held her stomach the same way Janie did. “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”
“I’ve seen you eat twice that amount of sweets, and you’ve never gotten sick. Maybe Janie’s trying to poison me.”
“My stomach has been messed up lately. These clients and the stress they cause are going to be the death of me.”
I snorted. “Me, too. Especially Max Dawson. I think we need a vacation.”
She rolled her head to the side, so she could look at me. “You said it, sister.”
Trapper
I stretched my arms over my head and shook my legs, trying to get the feeling back in my body. Everything was tingling and fucking aching. It felt like I’d gone through war, my head hurting the worst of all. Feeling the sunlight on my face, I hesitated opening my eyes because I knew it would make my head pound even harder.
“Don’t move,” Vera said. “Let me get you some aspirin before you get up.”
So, I hadn’t dreamed that I’d gone to her place. I was really here. That meant I’d also really told Ruddy to fuck off when he offered to give us a ride home, I’d really ripped the towel dispenser off the wall in the bathroom, and I’d really told Shay to get her dirty pussy the hell away from me.
Fuck.
“Here, honey, open your hand.”
I felt three pills drop on my palm, followed by a glass of something cold. I tossed them into my mouth and swallowed them down with water.
“It was a rough night. I wasn’t sure you were ever going to wake up.”
I handed her the glass and crossed my arms over my face. “The sun, Vera.”
She drew the shades and made it dark.
“Thank you.”
“I hope you’re hungry. I cooked you another feast.”
“Another?”
The smell of whatever she had made smacked me in the nose.
“I cooked you two huge bowls of pasta when we got home.”
I sat up, still covering my eyes. “How long ago was that?” Once my feet were on the floor, I started to get my bearings. The black behind my eyelids swirled a little slower.
“Twelve hours ago.”
“I’m surprised I slept that long.” I slowly opened my eyes and squeezed the sides of my head, hoping the pressure would stop the pounding. “Shit.”
“Food will help. Trust me.”
I walked the few short steps to the kitchen and sat at the table, slurping down the coffee that was already there. “I drank way too much.”
“Yes, you did.” She handed me a plate with scrambled eggs, bacon, and three pancakes. “Still use warm maple syrup?”
“Hell yes,” I said before she poured it all over the plate.
She had taught me to eat my breakfast that way—all of it covered in syrup, not just the pancakes.
“It’s a good thing you made me leave last night. I don’t know what would’ve happened if I’d stayed.”
She squeezed my hand as she sat down, a small plate of eggs in front of her that she’d covered in syrup. “I do…and it wouldn’t have been pretty.”
I took a bite of the pancakes. Man, that woman could cook.
“I know I didn’t give birth to you,” she said as I ate, “but I’ve always considered you my kid, and I’d like to think I know what’s best for you.”
I remembered her calling me her son last night. I liked the way it sounded.
“I’m just happy you listened to me ’cause you needed some good rest and some solid food in your stomach.”
I took a few more bites. “I owe Roman an apology.”
“He called earlier to check on you. So did Adrianna. We’re all worried about you, honey.”
That meant they’d all talked and shared whatever they knew. Roman was the only one who probably didn’t say much and just listened. But I’d learned over the years that when I told Vera or Adrianna something, the other two always found out. That was the way my circle worked—always having my back, always trying to figure out what was best for me.
“That pickup was ugly,” I said.
“I know. I cursed Adrianna up a storm for having you go there.”
“She didn’t have a choice. She had no one else to ask, and the seller wanted me because he wanted to negotiate.” I gritted my teeth as I remembered his ridiculous request. “A baby…can you fucking believe that? Kicking one in the back and treating it like shit and having the balls to ask for a new one.”
“It makes me sick.” She held the coffee mug close to her mouth. “Brea texted while you were sleeping, by the way.”
I looked at her, not at all shocked that she knew about Brea, too. “Oh, yeah?”
“When your phone started beeping, I took it out of your pocket and turned it on silent, so it wouldn’t wake you. Your battery was almost dead, so I plugged it in.” She pointed to the counter. “It’s over there, charging.”
“She texted…” I said it more for myself than for her.
“Your phone has been going off a lot.”
“I’m afraid to look at it.” I dug into the pancakes, having saved the sweetest part for last.
“Because of last night?”
“I told Ruddy to fuck off and said some pretty shitty things to Shay, from what I remember. I fucked up Roman’s bathroom. Brea wants space from me. Adrianna probably needs my help, and I haven’t reached out to her in almost a day. I don’t know what I said to you last night when we got back here, but I doubt it was pretty. Yeah, I can’t imagine any of the texts on my phone are going to be nice ones.”
She put down the mug and stared at me as she spoke, “You barely said a word when we got back here, besides telling me how hungry you were, and then you passed out as soon as you were done eating. Adrianna and Roman aren’t upset with you at all. Shay and Ruddy—who the hell cares about them anyway? They shouldn’t be working at Aced for much longer. And Brea…well, at least she texted you. I’d say that’s a good sign.”
“Maybe.”
I suddenly remembered the texts we’d exchanged at the club. She was going to visit Cody’s parents. I was sure she had texted to tell me how it went.
“You done?” I asked.
Her plate was empty, and so was mine, but I waited for her to nod before taking them into the kitchen.
“Go get ready for work. I’ll clean up,” I said.
Vera didn’t have a dishwasher or a washer and dryer. I’d tried to buy them for her in the past, but she refused every time. And whenever I tried to move her into a newer place that had all these things, she always turned me down. She didn’t have a husband or an ex-husband, didn’t have kids, so she could afford to spoil herself, especially with the money I gave her. But she wouldn’t do it. She said she didn’t need much, and I knew that was true. I’d slept on her couch until I was eighteen, and we lived off almost nothing. I’d gotten used to the nice things, and Vera didn’t need them.
I wiped off the counter, cleaned around the burners on the stove, and picked up my phone on my way out of the kitchen. Brea’s text was as short as all her others had been.
Brea: Done. Learned almost nothing.
There were texts from Roman and Adrianna and one from Shay that I didn’t open. I’d deal with her in person. I wasn’t about to get into a screaming match through texts.
“I’m stealing some toothpaste,” I said as I walked into the bathroom.
Vera was doing her makeup at the sink. “Go right ahead, honey. I might even have an extra toothbrush somewhere in the medicine cabinet.”
I checked; she was right.
I wet it, covered it in toothpaste, and moved into the doorway to give her more room.
“Where you headed to?” she asked.
“I’ll probably call Brea and see where that takes me.”
“Will you be by the club tonight?”
I rinsed my mouth out and threw the toothbrush away. “I don’t think so. I’ve got to spend some time at the compound.”
She kissed the air, so
she wouldn’t get her red lipstick on me. “It was nice having you home.”
I leaned in and kissed her cheek. The scent of the club was permanently on her skin, even when she tried to shower it off.
“It was good to be home.”
She smiled. “I’ll see you soon.”
I grabbed my jacket on the way out and got into a taxi at the end of the block. I called Brea once I gave the driver my address.
“Hey,” I said. “Tell me how it went.”
“Trapper, I told you not to call me.”
“Yeah, and I listened.” I hadn’t called her for three days, which was more space than I’d planned on giving her. “I just want to know how things went.”
“My text told you.”
I couldn’t stand how cold she sounded. “Brea, you had to learn at least something while you were there. This is about my brother…not us.”
“Like I said, it wasn’t a whole lot.” Her tone finally started to lighten a little. “His parents told me they used an attorney to adopt Cody. He was two months old at the time, and they don’t know where he was before they adopted him. I’ve already given my hacker friend the attorney’s name, so he can look into her.”
I heard water in the background, and she sounded out of breath.
“They don’t know your mom’s name or any information about her. It’s a dead end really.”
“What are you doing right now?”
“My laundry. Why?”
I muted the phone and gave the driver Brea’s address, telling him to take me there instead. “Did you mention me to them?” I asked her after I unmuted it.
“No. I was scared to. I don’t know how they’d handle it, and I really don’t want to find out.”
“I’m sorry. I—”
She sighed. “Trapper, don’t start apologizing. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. This isn’t easy, and I’m struggling so hard right now with everything that’s happened. Besides when I lost Cody, this has been the most stressful few days.”
“I don’t doubt it.” I looked out the window, seeing how close I was to her place. I wasn’t going to address what had happened until I saw her in person, but I needed to keep her talking. “Has the hacker been able to find out anything at all?”