by Marni Mann
I’d always thought meeting Vera at that bus stop a few weeks before she had adopted me was just a coincidence. But there was no chance in hell that was true now. I wondered how she had recognized me and why it was Vera who had done Roman’s dirty work.
“I have to get out of here.” I pulled away from her, backing out of the office. “I have to go talk to him.” I found my jacket and rushed to the door.
“Do you want me to go with you?”
I turned around, my hand on the knob, letting her give me one brief kiss. “It makes me real happy that you want to come, but I have to do this on my own.”
It felt like I’d been doing everything on my own, and the people who claimed to love me had done nothing but lie to me for half of my life.
I couldn’t wait to hear their reasoning.
Brea
My townhouse turned silent after Trapper closed the door. He was off to confront his father with everything we’d learned.
Meanwhile, my parents were still in the dark about all of this. They knew I was dating someone named Trapper; they knew what his voice sounded like, as they had called a few times while we were together and heard him in the background. They knew I really cared about him. But they didn’t know he was connected to Cody. They didn’t know that when they saw the new man in my life, he would look just like the man I’d lost. I’d been putting off that conversation. It was easier to just not tell them, stay in my little Trapper world where we hung out at one of our places when I wasn’t at work and ordered in. And we had the most phenomenal, earth-shattering sex. Constantly. But it had been two full weeks of that, and my feelings for Trapper were so much stronger now, and I was too close to my family to not tell them the truth.
I grabbed my phone, and as I cuddled into the corner of the couch, I glanced toward the coffee table. It was the same table that had been in my old apartment. Back then, there had been a framed picture of Cody and me sitting on it. It was a photo of us in a downtown bar, wearing sombreros and drinking margaritas. Now, a short square vase sat there with a bunch of fake tulips. The memory of us was still there, but unlike all the other times, it wasn’t tugging on me. It was just reminding me that it existed.
“Just one more,” I slurred, holding my empty glass up to Cody’s face, accidentally hitting him in the nose with it. “Oh my Gawwwwwd, I’m so sorry.”
He covered his nose and wrapped his other arm around me. “Kiss it. I’m in pain.”
When he leaned down to give me his nose, I moved forward at the same time, and our noses collided.
“Ow!” we both yelled.
“No more margaritas,” he added.
“No-more-margaritas,” I repeated, all my words blending together.
“How about some chips and salsa? I need to get some food in you.”
“Yummy.” I clasped my hand around his and smeared my lips against his cheek in an attempt to kiss it. “And guacamole.”
“And some steak fajitas.” He led me over to a booth on the far end of the bar and waved over a waitress, repeating everything I wanted to her.
“Lots of steak fajitas,” I emphasized.
“Got it. Anything else?”
Cody looked at me and winked. “Fried ice cream with chocolate sauce and extra whipped cream.”
“For dessert?” the waitress asked.
“No, for dinner. Just bring it all at the same time,” he said.
She laughed. “No problem.”
I slapped my hands on top of his and squeezed his fingers, my face smiling so hard that it hurt. “That was sexy.”
“Did I get it right?”
“Oh, yeah, you got it all right. Chocolate with dinner is my faaaavorite.”
“I know, Brea. I know.”
He knew me so well. Knew what I loved and what made me smile. He also knew how to make me cry. But my life wasn’t about Cody anymore or the memories we shared together. They would always be there, and I could recall them whenever I wanted. They just didn’t own me. They didn’t drag me into that drab dark place of despair. Instead, they reminded me of a wonderful period in my life. And when I thought of where I was now, I wasn’t filled with guilt or shame. I was filled with the most incredible amount of love.
It was time to tell my parents about it.
“Mom?” I said after she answered. “You busy?”
“I’m never too busy for you.”
“I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
“I know. I can tell by the sound of your voice.”
I pulled the blanket off the back cushion and wrapped it over me. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Just take a deep breath, and start at the beginning.”
“The beginning…right.”
So, I rewound my story back to Frankie’s party, and I told my mom about Trapper. I included all the details, except for the parts about the compound and Max Dawson’s apartment and anything that had to do with Net. I even filled her in on what we’d found out tonight and that Trapper was on his way to Aced to speak with Roman.
“Isn’t it funny that Cody helped solve the mystery even though he’s no longer with us?” she said.
“It’s fitting, I think. He was a detective and a hero through and through.” I waited for her to react to all the news and absorb it all.
“Baby girl?” she said finally. “Are you okay?”
“I am, Mom. It’s a lot, I know, but—”
“Yes, it’s a lot, only because of how it all happened and what you all uncovered. But if you’re asking if I think it’s too much, my answer is no. I don’t think it’s too much at all. Had you met Trapper without a mask, I don’t believe the two of you would be together. The mask made everything possible, and I believe it happened for a reason.”
Hearing her be so supportive of my relationship made the whole thing feel even better, and it made me question why I hadn’t told her sooner.
“He makes me so happy, Mom.”
“That’s all that really matters.”
“You think Dad will be cool with it, too?”
“Of course. Your father and I agree on most things, especially when it comes to the happiness of our daughter.”
I sighed. “Thank God.”
“I understand why this has been hard for you and why the idea of it would be bothersome, but it isn’t important to us who Trapper is related to. What’s important is, who he is as a person and how he treats you.”
I lay on my side and tucked a pillow under my head.
“I can hear how happy he makes you and how much you care about him.”
“I do. So much.”
“So, when do we get to meet him?”
“I’ve been thinking about ways to commemorate the anniversary of Cody’s death, and I came up with an idea. I just don’t know if it’s the right time to bring everyone together…or if Trapper would even want to come.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“You know how much Cody loved the Celtics? I was thinking we could stop by the gravesite, and then we could catch a game and go for a late dinner after.”
“I think that sounds perfect.”
Mom’s answer made me smile. “Great. I’ll talk to Trapper and see if he wants to join us.”
“Text me in the morning. Love you, baby.”
“I love you, too.” I disconnected the call, and there was a text from Frankie on the screen.
Frankie: I mean, really, does life get any better than this?
Above the text was a picture of her and Derek. He was lifting the bottom of her shirt and kissing her belly. She was resting a pint of chocolate chip gelato on top of his head and holding a spoon to her mouth, kissing the huge glob of ice cream that was on it. It had been a few weeks since her mini breakdown. She was fully embracing her pregnancy now.
I was so happy to see it.
Me: I fucking love you and that crazy husband of yours and that gorgeous baby inside. And I love the ice cream. Wanna share some with me? I could use i
t.
Frankie: Come on over. I have a whole freezer full.
I couldn’t go to Frankie’s until I knew what was going on with Trapper. If he came back here after going to Aced, I wanted to be here for him.
Me: Tomorrow maybe? I need a Frankie and Brea night.
Frankie: As long as it involves elastic waist pants and some form of chocolate, this MAMA is in.
Me: So, you’re going by MAMA now? Well, this sassy AUNT will be bringing wine that Miss MAMA can’t drink…so wah, wah, wah.
She sent another picture. This one was of her giving me the middle finger.
Me: ;-)
Trapper
I banged on the front door of Aced and waited for it to open. Ruddy worked the door at this hour, so I wasn’t surprised he took a while to answer it. I was sure he was still pissed that I’d told him to fuck off a few weeks ago, probably even angrier that his girl didn’t work there anymore. I didn’t need Shay hanging out at the club, trying to fuck me every time I saw her in the hallway, so I made a call to one of my buyers. He hooked her up with a waitressing gig at one of the nicer restaurants in the city. When she found out how much she’d be making in tips, she was real happy to make the switch.
“Sorry, Trapper, I was just taking a piss.”
I walked past him, figuring I’d deal with him later—if I still even wanted to play here after I got done talking to Roman.
At the end of the hallway, I turned into the main lounge and scanned all the faces until I found the one I wanted. Vera was standing at the drink station. I headed for her, ignoring the guys who called my name, the hands that stretched into the walkway for me to slap and shake, the fists that wanted a pound.
“Hi, honey—”
“Roman in his office?”
“I haven’t seen him in the lounge, so I think so.” She looked concerned. “Everything okay?”
I ignored that last part. “Then that’s where I’ll be. I suggest you join me.”
She turned her tray over and pulled it against her chest. “Yeah, o-okay,” she stuttered. “I just have to finish up, and I’ll be there in a minute.”
I didn’t knock on Roman’s door. I just kicked the fucker open and stood in the entryway.
“What the hell?” he shouted, looking up from his desk. “What if I was getting my dick sucked?”
“But you’re not.”
“I don’t care if it is you; you knock. Understood?”
I didn’t recognize the feeling in my stomach. My hands had never shaken this hard, and my chest had never ached this badly. “Is that the way you talk to your son?”
His eyes went all wide. Now, it really did look like I’d walked in with his wife while his dick was in some whore’s mouth. “Motherfucker.”
“Vera will be in here in a minute. Figured we could have a little family reunion. Maybe I should have Adrianna come in. I’m sure she’s got some role in this, too.”
“Sit down.”
I leaned into the frame of the door. “I think I’m good right here.”
“You’re fucking pissed; I get it, kid. But I’m not going to have all my goddamn waitresses know my business. So, close that door, sit down, and listen to me.”
“I’ve known you for seventeen years. Funny, don’t you think, that you’ve never wanted to talk to me about this before?” I slammed the door, only to have Vera open it a few seconds later. I threw myself down in one of the chairs across from Roman’s desk. “I’m sitting. Now, fucking speak.”
Vera sat in the other chair, her small body barely filling it. “He knows?” she asked Roman.
He nodded, and she glanced at me.
“Oh, Trapper, I didn’t want you to find out like this,” she said.
“You mean, by reading some notes my twin brother had written down before he was killed?”
They looked surprised to hear that.
“Yeah, that sucked. But you know what sucked even worse?” I glared at Roman. “Finding out you knew this whole time, but you left me in those fucking foster homes.”
“Honey, I know you don’t want to, but please just listen to him,” Vera said. “It might not make this any better, but at least hear his side.”
I kicked back. “By all means, please tell me why you’re such an asshole.”
Roman leaned on his desk and crossed his hands. He stared at them for a while before finally looking up at me. “A woman came to the club one night. One of the waitresses brought her in, said she was looking for work. Missy was her name. She was fucking gorgeous. Tall, slender, could’ve been a model. You could tell she’d seen her fair share of shit. She had the roughness of someone who had been involved in all of it.” He sighed and shook his head. “We ended up fucking on my desk, and her nose started bleeding in the middle of it. I knew she’d snorted plenty of shit up there ’cause noses just don’t start bleeding in the middle of fucking. There were enough coked-up bitches hanging around here. I didn’t want another one, so I didn’t give her the job.”
He was talking about my mother, yet I felt nothing for her. She was a piece of shit who had sold one kid and gotten rid of the other. And I didn’t care if I never heard her name again.
“Some time passed—I don’t know, maybe a year or so—and she came back here,” he said. “She was holding you, said she needed some money and that I was your father. She looked bad…real fucking bad. I could tell she was doing more than just sniffing some blow up her nose. I gave her a few bucks to tide her over and told her I wanted to take a test to prove you were mine. She agreed to it, and sure enough, you were.” He lifted both hands and ran them over his hair, swinging back and forward in his chair. “I was fucking blindsided by the news and didn’t know what the hell to do. She had no money, no place to live, no way to take care of you. And since I couldn’t take care of you, I got her an apartment.”
Brea was right; the co-signed lease had been for Missy. It was in her name, and Roman had guaranteed the payments. So far, he’d played it the right way, giving her money and helping her out. But we hadn’t gotten to the part where I went to the hospital, the part where he needed to act like a father.
“I checked in on you guys as often as I could,” he continued. “Made sure you had food and diapers and all that shit. And I made sure Missy was holding it together. She was a straight-up mess, but somehow, she took decent care of you. Everything went to hell when her boyfriend moved in. He wasn’t there a week before they went on a real bender. You got ahold of their pipe and slashed it across your forehead. The cut was big enough for her to take you to the hospital. She gave them my number and took off.”
“She left me there…”
“Yeah, kid. She left you there.”
Maybe in some sick, twisted way, I was glad she had. Being left by her was better than being ripped away from her. I couldn’t miss someone who didn’t want me, but I could have cried for someone who couldn’t have had me.
“When the hospital called, Charlene answered. I had to lie and tell her two of the players had gotten into a fight, so I could rush there in the middle of the night. The nurses brought me to see you, and you had a pretty nice gash above your eyebrow that I knew would leave a scar. Missy was gone, and they wanted to know why there was glass in your forehead. Shit, I…”
I waited for the emotion to come through in his eyes. It took a second, but it was finally there, and it was the one I wanted to see—regret.
“I couldn’t take you home with me. Charlene would’ve killed me and taken my kids. I didn’t know what the fuck to do, so I told them that I suspected there was abuse happening at Missy’s house, and social services came to the hospital to get you.”
“That was your moment…and you failed.”
“You got that right, kid. And it was the start of your hell. I know that, too. But I kept track of you and went to the house they put you in. It was a good home. I even pretended I was selling some shit, so I could see the mom and what the place looked like from the doorway. I couldn’t keep coming
around like that. Once was stretching it; twice, she would’ve put her husband on me. So, I trusted things were good, and time got the best of me.”
“Time got the best of you?” I almost laughed. “I was in the system for twelve goddamn years.”
“I’m not proud of that.”
“You forgot about me, Roman.”
“I didn’t fucking forget. I got lazy, and then I got busy. I didn’t have my priorities straight. But I didn’t forget. I never forgot you.”
“And then Vera saw me at the bus stop.”
“Honey…”
I’d almost forgotten she was in the room.
“Seeing you at that bus stop, all beaten up and grubby was just awful.”
“How’d you recognize me?” For her, I toned down the sharpness in my voice.
She wasn’t innocent—she’d kept the truth from me—but she hadn’t abandoned me, and that had to count for something.
“The scar. It’s the kind you don’t forget, not after you hear a story like the one Roman told me when he got back from the hospital.”
My eyes shifted to Roman. “Something doesn’t make sense. You told Vera you had a kid with another woman? You don’t tell anyone your business, except for me.”
“I was in Roman’s office when Missy came in with you,” she said.
That wasn’t the kind of thing you just told some waitress at your club and hoped she kept her mouth shut. You also didn’t have her adopt your kid and expect her not to tell anyone who he was. There had to be a reason he’d chosen her…and then I saw it. It was a look I’d never seen in Vera’s eyes before. A look she’d hidden from me for all these years. All this time, I thought I’d learned how to bluff from Roman, but it was Vera, and she had one hell of a poker face.
“You love him, don’t you?”
“Always have, honey. Always will.”
That had to be the reason she didn’t have a husband or any kids. She’d been waiting for Roman for all these years.
I shook my head. “This is unbelievable.”
“And I love her. I just can’t leave my family.”