by Kerry Taylor
“This is someone’s house?” I asked as I gawped out of the window of the backseat.
“Yeah. Most of the kids who go to our school have super rich families, but Charlie is one of the richest.” Matt answered.
“But he’s also one of the coolest. A lot of the kids at school are over privileged, entitled assholes, but Charlie isn’t. His is the only party we would bother to come to.” Cole added as he parked up his shiny new Chevrolet Colorado truck he had excitedly shown me just the other day. Apparently it was his eighteenth birthday present from Grant and Keira just two months before and he was very proud of it. He hadn’t used it since I moved in because we were always either in Matt’s older truck, or Kades huge SUV.
I became increasingly nervous as I saw the number of cars parked up on the huge gravel driveway out front of the house, and all of the other teenagers around, and pouring into the house. The girls were all very glamorous looking, in tight little dresses and super short skirts and I knew I was going to show Matt and Cole up in comparison.
“Cole, maybe you should just drop me back at home and then you guys come back. I’m not going to fit in here and I don’t want to embarrass either of you.” I said nervously as I looked to my fidgeting hands in my lap. Cole took off his seatbelt and turned in the driver’s seat to face me. I continued staring at my hands, ashamed that I was backing out before we even left the car.
“Olivia? Look at me, beautiful.” He said after a few moments. I took a deep breath and then looked up to him. Matt was turned in his seat too, watching with concern.
“If this is too much and you want to go home, then we can go, no problem. Matt and I would never push you to do something you don’t want to.” He said softly. I nodded once, letting them know I knew that, that I trusted them both. “You’re probably right, you won’t fit in with the stuck up kids in there, we certainly don’t. There are only a handful of these people who we would actually call friends, but it doesn’t matter because we have each other, and now you, and you will have us both with you the whole time. We wouldn’t have even come tonight unless you did Olivia. We just wanted to do something fun with you, for you. You’ve been so cooped up at home since you got free. It’s your time to live now, to find out who you are.” He implored, reminding me of the conversation I had with him a while ago, when I told him I had no idea who I was after eight years in The Darkness.
“You are beautiful Carina. We will be proud to walk in there with you tonight. You could never, ever embarrass us.” Matt added, making me blush. I didn’t think I would ever get used to all of the compliments I got from these guys.
I looked out of the window again and saw three guys all horsing around, shoving each other and laughing. They looked about my age, maybe even a little younger. If they could be there, then why couldn’t I? Cole was right, I wanted to find out who I was, and mixing with others my age and doing things they do regularly, seemed like a good next step. I took a deep breath to calm my fears and looked to the guys again.
“Ok.” I whispered. “Let’s do this.” I actually smiled as I spoke, excited to get inside. I could hear music pumping out of the house and it both terrified and excited me. I used to love to dance as a kid.
“We’re not leaving your side.” Matt promised as he smiled back. I nodded, knowing they wouldn’t.
Cole jumped out first and opened the back door, offering me a hand, since the truck was way too high from the ground for me to gracefully jump down. He held one hand and wrapped the other around my waist, lifting me down and settling me on my feet. I straightened up my outfit while he closed the door and locked his truck, then took his hand again. We walked to the back of the truck where Matt was waiting and without thought I took his hand in my free one, needing to have them both close.
“Stay with us and just let us know if you need a breather, ok?” Cole asked.
“I will. I’m ok. I can do this.” I told them. They both threw me a supportive smile, then led me up the huge stone steps and into the chaos.
The entrance way we walked into was bigger than the lounge at home, and filled with a ton of teenagers, all with red cups in their hands. They stood in groups, some couples kissing the heck out each other, some bigger groups chatting and laughing. The music was louder in here, than outside, but not loud enough to scare me. I actually really liked it. The song was upbeat with a great rhythm. I didn’t know it, but I guessed it was likely modern, and it was a long time since I listened to any new music.
“Cole! Matt! You came!” A loud voice shouted from our right side. I startled and gripped the guys hands much tighter, not letting them let me go in any way.
“Like we’d miss one of your parties.” Cole laughed as he fist bumped a fast approaching guy, who I assumed must be Charlie. He was cute, in a boy next door kind of way, with short sandy blonde hair and deep brown eyes. He was much shorter than my guys, maybe a little over five and a half feet and he was stick thin, not a single muscle visible. He fist bumped Matt too and I caught sight of the silver Rolex on his wrist. Even I knew that meant money, but his clothes looked scruffy, jeans way too baggy on him and a thin white t-shirt with holes near the bottom corner. Was that fashion? If it was I’d stay unfashionable thanks.
“Who’s your friend?” He asked as he very slowly did a head to toe scan of my body, making me feel very uncomfortable.
“This is Livy.” Matt introduced me, but he sounded tense and when I glanced up at him I saw his whole body was rigid. I turned to Cole, wondering what was wrong, only to find he too was grinding his jaw angrily.
“Pleasure to meet you Livy.” Charlie said and when I looked at him there was a wide smile on his face. I nodded, too freaked out by the guy’s reactions to speak. “You go to our school?”
“Not at the moment, but maybe next semester.” Matt replied for me.
“Let’s hope so. You’d sure brighten the place up, gorgeous.” He threw me a wink, but it didn’t make me blush, or make butterflies take flight in my stomach like it did when one of my guys did it.
The thought did occur to me that they weren’t actually my guys, and I should probably stop calling them so, but they were about all I had and I needed them. Calling them mine made me feel less alone and I didn’t see the harm if I was only saying it in my head.
“We’ll catch you later Charlie. Livy needs a drink.” Cole growled and he pulled me slightly behind him then stepped forward. Matt was so close to my back I could feel his heat, but I wasn’t complaining. It was fine by me, to be in a Matt and Cole sandwich.
“Ohhh!” Charlie crowed, as we passed him. “Sorry dudes. I totally see how it is now!” He was laughing as he walked away and I wondered what the hell he was talking about. Why was he apologising?
“Come on, beautiful.” Cole whispered as he pulled me tight against his back and grabbed my hand, which he wrapped around his waist. He kept a hold of it in his, against his stomach and as he moved, I had no choice but to stay pressed tight against him, while Matt hovered very close behind me.
Cole led me through to the biggest kitchen I ever saw in my life. It was the size of a restaurant with shiny white cabinets and sleek white countertops. The floor was bright white too, and while it was impressive, it felt way too clinical to be a home.
“You want a drink?” Matt offered as he nodded to a wall of glass fronted refrigerators. One was stacked with water and sodas. The others were filled with wine in racks, which I guessed were pretty valuable since they had number keypads on them, like the gate at home. On the counter beside the refrigerator were two huge kegs of beer and about twelve jugs filled with various multi coloured liquids. I wondered what they were, then saw a girl pouring liquor into one of the empty jugs across the kitchen, making some kind of cocktail. As nervous as I was, I decided it wasn’t a good idea to try drinking for the first time, plus Kyle said no drinking.
“Water would be good please.” I had to talk into his ear, the music too loud for my still weak voice to get over. He nodded and left me s
tanding with Cole, while he grabbed a water and two cokes.
“Are you ok?” Cole asked into my ear as Matt handed us drinks. I nodded, deciding it was pointless to shout more than necessary.
Matt grabbed my water and slipped it in his coat pocket, then grabbed my hand and pulled me through the kitchen, Cole trailing behind holding my other hand.
He led us outside where there were more huge groups of teens, drinking, smoking and just messing around. In the corner of the large yard there was a huge fire pit with a raging fire going. There were about twenty chairs surrounding it, most of which were empty. Matt led us over and we all sat, me in the middle with the guys on either side.
“Thought you might want a break from the music.” Matt explained. He handed me my water and opened his coke.
“I quite like the music. It’s got a good beat. I just can’t talk over it, with my voice and all.”
“You like dancing?” Cole asked. I turned and smiled when I found him sitting right back in the low garden chair, one ankle over his opposite knee, looking as laid back as ever.
“I used to, when I was little. My Mom….when she cooked she’d always have music playing, and I’d make her crank it up so we could dance around the kitchen.” I smiled as I recounted the silly little thing I used to do with my mom. It had been so long since I remembered those fun times. I had pushed all good memories away for so long in an effort to stop the hope I would ever get any of it back. Getting them back, allowing the good parts of my past in was both thrilling and heartbreaking.
“Well I suck at dancing, but Matt can move. He’ll take you to dance if you want to.” Cole laughed. I turned to Matt who nodded, a smile on his face. I liked the idea very much and I nodded eagerly.
“We’ll go, but let’s just sit a while first.” Matt agreed.
“It’s nice out here.” I said as I sat back and looked out at the gardens before me. They were beautifully landscaped, with winding paths, beautiful flower beds and a stunning pergola in the opposite corner, absolutely all of it covered with a dusting of fresh snow. We were facing out, the wildness of the party behind us and with the flames dancing before me, it truly was magical. I was cold, but the fire was throwing off enough heat to keep the worst of the chill at bay.
I thought Keira and Grant’s gardens were special, but this one was like the grounds of a palace in a fairytale. Just beautiful.
“It really is.” Cole agreed, but when I glanced at him he was watching me.
We sat for a while, no one else coming to join us or bother us. We just laughed and chatted about the wild antics of the brothers growing up. They both had me laughing so hard I cried at the things the five of them had done to each other growing up. It was a miracle any of them survived. I would have thought Keira would have killed them all years ago for the things they had gotten up to!
Matt and I were getting ready to try the dance floor in the lounge when a huge guy threw himself down into the chair beside Cole, scaring me enough to grab Cole’s knee, ready to rip him away from danger.
“Hey Davis.” He sneered. He was smaller than Cole, but not by much, with short, curly auburn hair and a very strangely coloured sun tan. He was almost orange, which was weird enough, but also I was confused how anyone would have a suntan in the middle of a Chicago winter? His eyes were small and just a little too close together and when he smiled, his teeth were way too sparkling white and perfect. I instantly disliked him, getting bad vibes that made me feel completely on edge. I tried to pull Cole away by the hand I had grabbed to get a better hold of him, but he just wrapped his other hand around mine and squeezed reassuringly. I glanced upto Matt and he smiled, but I knew it was forced.
“Who’s the hot girl?” The guy asked as he looked me over with a sneer.
“None of your business Steve. Stay the fuck away from her, and us.” Cole growled menacingly. I had never heard him sound so scary. He didn’t move in any way, just growled and stared the guy down. It was a huge contrast from my always gentle Cole, but it didn’t scare or panic me, because I knew he would never turn his anger on me. I trusted him. I trusted all of them.
“Hey, only asking. She’s new here. She might need some new friends.” The guy, Steve, said. He was trying to act as though Cole hadn’t scared him, but his voice had become croaky and less cocky, and he had moved to the front edge of his chair, ready to jump up.
“She has all of the friends she needs.” Cole added.
“What? The girl can’t speak for herself?” Steve asked. I swallowed the huge lump in my throat, knowing I needed to do something before Cole, and Matt who also looked ready to blow, literally exploded.
“I’m not interested, so move on Steve.” I said as loudly and as firmly as I could, trying hard to channel Keira when she yelled at the guys.
“Fucking losers.” Steve muttered as he stood and stormed off. I watched him leave and head into the house, then turned back to Cole.
“Sorry Livy. He’s an asshole.” He said and I could see he was trying to cool off, taking deeper than usual breaths.
“Are you ok? You handled that really well.” Matt said as he ran his hand over my shaking knee.
“Yeah,” I nodded then thought for a second if I actually was, and I realised that I was better than ok. I spoke, to a stranger no less, a big scary stranger and I didn’t break down, I didn’t crumble and I didn’t freeze. “Yes. I’m really ok. That felt good.” I added with a huge grin. Maybe I wasn’t quite as pathetic as I thought.
“You did good, beautiful girl.” Cole agreed. “Maybe who you are now is tougher than you thought, huh?”
“Maybe.” I agreed.
“Come on. I’m taking you to dance while you’re feeling brave.” Matt laughed as he jumped up and held a hand out to me.
It had been a small victory in reality, but a huge one to me at that time. The first step in me realising I left The Darkness a hell of a lot tougher than I entered it.
***
I was sweating and it was gross, but I just didn’t have it in me to care. I had been dancing for hours and the guys couldn’t pull me away. I loved it, the music running through my body and making me move. To start with it had just been Matt and I, and Cole had been right, Matt could move. He had pressed me to his body and we had swayed together, like we became one person. I loved the feel of his hard body around me, the way his hands caressed my back and pulled me close any time anyone got close. I had no idea what I was doing, but I just let the music take me and I loved it. I had never felt more alive. Halfway through I pulled off my leather jacket and handed it to Cole who stood at the side, talking to a guy he knew. He kept on handing us water and everytime I glanced over to him, he was watching us with a grin on his face, even as he chatted with his friend.
When after a while I looked up and he was on his own, I left Matt and ran over to him. I grabbed my jacket and his hand and dragged him over to our little space on the packed floor. He was grumpy at first, crossing his arms and refusing to join in, but I was determined, wanting to have this amazing night with him too. I tied the arms of my jacket around my waist, not wanting to put it down and lose it, then pressed my back into Coles front and moved slowly. It took a little coaxing, especially since Matt was laughing his ass off at Cole, but eventually Cole grabbed my waist and started to move with me. It turned out he was a pretty good mover too, his hips swaying perfectly with mine as we moved.
Now I was pressed between the two of them, Cole at my back, his huge hands covering my stomach as he moved behind me and Matt at my front, his hands cradling my hips as the three of us laughed and danced to the smooth song that blasted from the sound system somewhere in the room.
I had seen people around us, watching us, their faces disapproving and judgemental. Girls were talking to each other and pointing our way, as they glared at me and I knew what we were doing likely wasn’t accepted, but I did not care at all. I was happier than I had been since I was a child. I felt whole and so very alive. I felt free.
H
aving Cole and Matt holding me the way they were, made me forget my broken, shattered pieces. It made me forget The Shadow and The Darkness. For those few hours I was just a girl, having the time of my life with two guys I cared for very much. I wasn’t The Shadow’s plaything, or the damaged girl, or the kidnap victim, or the kid whose parents died. I was just Olivia and it felt like a long time since I got to be just her.
“Woah woah woah!” Cole declared as a song finished. We were all sweating now and I was exhausted, but I didn’t want the fun to end. “We need to take a break. You need to rehydrate and Matt’s about to drop dead.” He pointed behind me to Matt and when I turned, I realised he was really red and sweating. I had been holding him on the dance floor for hours. Poor guy.
“Ok, fine!” I agreed with a mock pout.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be taking you dancing again.” Matt said in my ear, sending goosebumps all over my body. I smiled up at him and he nodded, a smile on his face too.
“Head outside. I’ll grab water and meet you.” Cole yelled. Matt nodded and wrapped his arms around me from the back. He ushered me outside, stopping to grab their jackets, which were on an armchair by the door, as we passed.
I stepped outside, taking a deep breath of the fresh, cool, night air. It was a relief after the mass of hot bodies I had been amongst for so long.
Because Matt had grabbed the jackets, he only had one hand on my waist and was slightly behind me. That was the reason huge hands were able to grab me around the waist and yank me from his grip. I never even saw it coming. I had literally stepped onto the patio and taken the breath, then the next thing I knew I was suddenly being ripped from Matt and into the air. I cried out as I looked down, praying it was Cole messing around, but it wasn’t, it was Steve, and he stank of beer and cigarettes.
“My turn now.” He laughed as he pulled me hard against him and started grinding against me.
I was frozen at first, too shocked and confused to react, but within seconds I was fighting, slapping at him. My feet weren’t touching the ground, so I couldn’t run.