Basu grunted.
Oki kept staring at him, waiting for an answer.
“It’s for flying,” Basu said.
“Is it fun?” Oki asked.
Basu grunted.
They stared at the floor for a while.
“So what do you do for fun?” Oki asked. “Besides fighting and eating.”
Basu grunted.
“Do you have any roboplex dolls?”
Basu grunted.
“What about turbo balls?”
Basu grunted.
“Holo-cards?”
Basu let out a long grunt. Then a short one.
“You know what your problem is?” Oki said. “You don’t know how to have fun.”
Basu looked at him.
Oki pointed at his metal chest. “I try to have at least a little bit of fun every single day. You should try it. If you had more fun things to do maybe you wouldn’t eat so much.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Basu looked around the room. Then he pulled the iPet disc out of his pocket and turned it on. The cartoon cyber-frog caught Oki’s attention as it popped up into the air and landed on Basu’s lap.
The plump cyber-frog looked at Oki with a big cartoon smile. It hopped up into the air and did a flip for him. Oki moved closer. The frog flipped again. Then again. It smiled every time it flipped.
Oki looked up at the obese man.
Basu winked at him. Then he looked down at the flipping frog, then back at Oki, and back at the frog. Then Basu smiled and grunted a little laugh.
“What?” Oki said.
Basu grunted and looked down at the frog. Then grunted a louder laugh.
“What?” Oki repeated. “Is that supposed to be fun or something?”
Basu stopped smiling.
Oki laughed. “That is the dumbest toy I’ve ever seen. Look at it.”
Oki pointed at the frog as it smiled and hopped.
“That toy’s for babies!” Oki said.
Oki burst into more laughter, pointing at Basu.
Basu frowned.
“You play with a baby toy!” Oki teased.
Then Basu grunted angrily. He snatched the cyber-frog out of the air, flicked it off, and put the disc back into his pocket. Then he jumped off of the couch and stomped out of the room, while Oki lay on his back kicking his feet up in the air with laughter.
Basu ran into Chiya in the kitchen.
“I need to get some sleep,” she said, rubbing her swollen eyelids.
She yawned so wide her mouth became the size of a dinner plate.
“Is it done?” he asked.
“Not yet,” she said. “You’ll have to spend the night. I’ll finish in the morning.”
“I needed it done by now,” he said. “Oekai is expecting me back tonight.”
“You’re not getting it done tonight,” she said.
Basu sighed. He didn’t feel comfortable out on the streets without a functioning CPU on his iKatana.
“Okay,” Basu said.
She stepped away from him and went to the counter to pour herself some sake.
Basu looked out of the hover-bus window, examining the vast landscape of lights and buildings. He knew that Crow was out there somewhere, looking for him. He knew that before this mission was over, he was going to have to face him again.
Crow and Basu had known each other for years, back when they went by their real names, before Crow became birdlike and Basu became morbidly obese. Crow’s name was Susumu. Basu’s name was Keigo.
They went through training together and both graduated at the top of their class. Both were recruited by the same company, Arashi Industries. They moved up the ranks together. They became Arashi Industries’s star employees and each became a general of his own small army. They wore the burgundy-red suits and red ties that were the signature uniform of the Arashi. They wore the white five-horned masks of the Arashi ninja.
Although they thought of themselves as equals, Keigo was considered the company’s champion and Susumu was considered his understudy.
Keigo was stronger and a little faster with a sword, but Susumu was smarter, cleverer, and quicker at working the computer functions on his iKatana, not to mention that he was proficiently ambidextrous and could fight with a chain sickle in his left hand while swinging a sword with his right. Susumu also had twice the number of kills over Keigo. But Keigo was still regarded as the deadliest ninja in the industry.
Susumu resented the fact that his talents were not fully recognized by his employer. He resented Keigo for making more money. In time, Susumu grew tired of Arashi Industries, and eventually he grew tired of his friend Keigo.
Their friendship ended the day Susumu became Crow. After a couple years in Keigo’s shadow, Susumu decided to show the world he was the industry’s true champion ninja. He broke his sworn oath to stay forever loyal to Arashi Industries. He sold company secrets to the Gomen Corporation and helped with a hostile takeover that resulted in the largest company war of the decade.
One day, Keigo walked into a meeting and discovered the conference room filled with headless executives. They were sitting around the table in their red suits and red ties, their posture straight and alert, their hands folded neatly in front of them. But their heads weren’t attached to their necks. They were on the table in front of them, staring at each other with blank eyes.
Aside from the dead executives, there were three men standing in the room. Two were Gomen in business-casual ninja outfits. The third was a man with a crow head wearing the Arashi Industries red suit and tie.
Keigo raised his iKatana and pointed it at the black-feathered man.
“I’m so happy you could get here on time, Keigo,” said the crow man.
Keigo took off his mask. “How do you know who I am?”
The crow man cocked his head and pointed the handle of his iKatana at him. “Everybody knows the great Keigo of the Arashi.”
Keigo lifted his sword, ready to strike at any second. “Who are you? Why do you disgrace the Arashi by wearing that uniform?”
The crow man hopped up onto the conference table and clicked across with his black bird feet.
“You think you’re so strong, don’t you, Keigo?” said the crow man. “But you’re not the best. You’ve just made everybody think you’re the best.”
The crow pulled a black chained-sickle out of his suit. Keigo recognized the weapon. He looked up at the crow man. Then he recognized the suit he was wearing. He recognized a tone in the crow’s voice.
“Susumu?” Keigo said.
The crow paused. It was as if he was smiling, but no smile could be seen with a beak on his face.
Then the crow attacked. Clinking metal sounds ripped through the air as the chain sickle flew at Keigo. Jumping two feet back, Keigo knocked the sickle out of the air with his iKatana.
“Susumu was a fool,” said the crow. “He no longer exists. I am Crow.”
Crow struck again with his sword. Keigo dodged. The sword sliced less than an inch away from his throat.
“Susumu,” Keigo said, dodging the attacks. “What have you done to our executives?”
The sickle was reeled back toward Crow’s black claw fingers, cutting into Keigo’s shoulder.
“They were fools, too, Keigo,” said Crow. “It is shameful to be a fool. I put them out of their misery.”
The two Gomen ninja joined the fight, forcing Keigo to defend against all three men, but Keigo would not yet take the offensive.
“Susumu, you are my closest friend,” Keigo said. “What have you done?”
Crow twirled his sickle like a helicopter blade, holding it in front of him as if using it as a shield.
“What have I done?” said Crow. “What have you done? I’m not the one responsible for turning these men into fools. It was you. You made them believe that you were the strongest ninja in the industry when we both know that you are not. You have disgraced yourself and Arashi Industries. Neither of you should be allowed to live.�
��
Keigo composed himself. “I see. You could no longer advance with me in your way. I understand.”
Then Keigo sliced the sword-arm off of one of the Gomen. Blood exploded onto Keigo’s red suit. The Gomen stood there, shrieking in agony, staring at the red fluid geysering out of his stump across the conference table.
“If killing me is the only way you can prove your honor,” Keigo said, “then I must not deny you this fight. As my closest friend, I owe you this much.”
Crow’s sickle stopped twirling and shot out of his hand at Keigo, wrapping around his sword arm.
“Fuck honor,” Crow said. “This is about revenge.”
Crow yanked on Keigo’s arm and pulled him closer. As Keigo was reeled into range, Crow swung his iKatana and carved a wedge of meat out of Keigo’s thigh. Blood mixed with his burgundy uniform.
Keigo cried out and slashed at Crow with his iKatana, but Crow’s new body was faster than his old one. The sword passed over his feathered head and decapitated the screaming armless ninja beside him.
Crow back-flipped onto the conference table and swept the room with his chain sickle. Keigo ducked, but the other Gomen ninja coming up behind him was not fast enough. The chain wrapped around the ninja’s neck three times and then the sickle stabbed into his throat. The Gomen wheezed and drooled blood, struggling to free himself from the metal noose.
Keigo took the opportunity to lunge at Crow. He jumped up on the table and slashed at Crow’s chest. The red suit ripped open and black feathers spilled into the air. Crow’s red tie dropped to the ground. The front of his suit slid off like a slice of cheese.
“You don’t deserve to wear that uniform,” Keigo said.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m Gomen now.”
With that, Crow yanked on his chain sickle, ripping the Gomen ninja’s head from his neck. Keigo dodged the severed head at the end of the sickle as it swung toward him, giving Crow a chance to click his iKatana into nano-poison mode.
The head fell off the sickle and rolled down the table. Keigo saw an opening. He hacked down on the chain of Crow’s signature weapon in an attempt to render it useless. But Crow managed to spin the chain, wrapping Keigo’s iKatana, disabling Keigo’s weapon instead. Then Crow stabbed Keigo through the belly with his sword.
Keigo fell to his knees.
“It’s the end,” Crow said.
Crow stepped away from his ex-friend as blood leaked out of his body and tiny nanobots began spreading through his bloodstream.
Keigo could feel the poison. It was a sparkling sensation that crawled through his wound and up his spine.
“You and Arashi Industries are a thing of the past,” Crow said, hopping off of the conference table and turning on a wall monitor.
The monitor displayed a scene of the Arashi lobby. Two dozen ninjas in red suits were battling perhaps a hundred Gomen ninjas. The Arashi were falling quickly. They fought in three inches of blood.
Crow went back to Keigo. “I wanted you to see this. Those are your men dying out there. All of the Arashi men who were loyal to me are now in Gomen uniforms, fighting against the Arashi.”
Keigo tried to build up his strength, just enough strength to swing his sword one last time. If he could defeat Crow he would be able to die with honor. But his strength wasn’t coming back to him. He lay on his stomach, holding his iKatana tightly beneath him.
Crow made him watch as the Gomen defeated his men. He waited until every last one of them was dead. Then he turned the monitor off. He went to Keigo.
“It’s too bad it happened this way,” Keigo said, then coughed up a line of blood. “You were my closest friend. I wish circumstances never would have led you on such a dishonorable path.”
Crow lifted his sword.
“Honorable or dishonorable,” he said. “It’s still progress.”
Then Crow swung his sword. Keigo push-upped off of the conference table, elevating his body three feet off the surface. Crow’s sword missed and gave Keigo an opening.
Keigo’s iKatana swung out to his side, slicing across the right side of Crow’s face. It cut through his feathered cheek, through his forehead, through his beady black eye.
Crow screeched and stepped back. Keigo ran. He didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. He just ran. He had the nano-poison running through his veins and he knew the only way he could survive was to eat. He had to eat as much high-calorie food as he possibly could.
Basu thrashed himself awake, clutching his chest. He threw off the sweat-stained covers and sat up on the edge of the octagon-shaped bed. He leaned over and took deep breaths, holding his heart to make sure it was still beating.
Chiya sat up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pressed her naked breasts against his sweaty back and leaned her cheek on his shoulder.
“You’re still having your attacks,” she said.
Basu took a few more deep breaths before answering.
“It’s just sleep apnea,” he said.
She rubbed her fingers through his hair and down the folds on the back of his neck.
“That’s what you always used to say,” she said, her voice like a hum against his left ear.
Basu closed his eyes and fell backward in the bed, breaking free of her embrace.
The anime woman laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart. “You can’t keep going like this. It’s going to kill you.”
He placed his baseball-mitt-sized hand onto her back. “You know I’ll die if I stop.”
“You just need to eat less cholesterol,” she said. “Eat more sugars. Cut out the saturated fats. Try eating foods with omega-3 fatty acids like salmon and tuna. I have some ahi tuna steaks in the freezer if you want some.”
“I already ate them,” he said.
“Yeah, with bacon and sausage . . .” she said.
Basu let out a long sigh.
“You used to be so sexy,” she said, rubbing the hairs on his chest. “I wish you didn’t make me call you Basu.”
“That’s who I am now,” he said.
“I’m still working on a way to extract the nanos,” she said.
“Don’t bother,” he said. “I’ll be long dead before you can figure that one out.”
“I’ll do it,” she said. “You know I will.”
Her tone of voice told him she didn’t even believe the words herself.
Basu grunted.
“Why don’t you stay with me?” she said. “For good this time.”
Basu slid his arm off of her back. She lifted her head from his chest and looked at him inches away from his face, eye to enormous eye.
“That piggy bank we got there in the other room has to be worth a fortune,” she said. “We can sell it and retire. We can move to Hawaii or somewhere in the Caribbean. I’ll figure out how to extract the nanos and you’ll get thin again. We’ll live in paradise, just you and me.”
Basu pushed her off of him and stepped out of the bed. Then he pulled his pants on.
She blinked her wide eyes at him.
“I can’t just sell him,” Basu said.
“Why not?” she said, her eyebrows curled and her mouth stretched wider across her face. “He’s going to die anyway, no matter which company ends up with him.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It would go against the ninja code. My code.”
“Screw your fucking code,” she said, throwing a pillow into his face and pulling the covers over her head like a 5-year-old.
Basu put his shirt on and went into the other room. Oki wasn’t asleep on the couch where they had left him. The blanket was on the floor. The front door of the shop was wide open.
The bus hovered in open space between two buildings, so Oki could not have run away. Basu walked through the front door out onto the porch. Oki was sitting on the edge, staring down at the abyss below.
Basu sat next to him. His weight rocked the bus back and forth as he plopped down. He put his finger up to Oki’s cheek and wiped a tear awa
y.
“You heard us?” Basu said.
The machine boy nodded his head, still glaring down into the abyss. Basu was surprised he had been able to hear them. He wondered if the Kakera Corporation supplied the boy with superior hearing, perhaps so he could hear danger when it was coming his way.
“She wants to kill me,” Oki said in a croaky voice.
Basu grunted. “I won’t let her.”
“You want to kill me, too,” the boy said.
Basu looked away.
“I don’t want to kill you,” he said. “But I don’t have a choice. It’s my duty.”
Oki’s watery eyes shivered at Basu. “But why? Why is your duty so important?”
Basu slapped Oki across the cheek.
Oki jerked with shock, then trembled beneath the ninja’s fat angry face.
“Have some dignity,” Basu said to the scared little boy. “Just as my role in life is to follow my company’s orders without question, it is your role in life to be a piggy bank. You were born to hold information and you will die once that information is needed. Accept your fate. It is the honorable thing to do.”
Oki took a breath and wiped tears from his eyes. Basu stared down into the abyss below, watching his plump feet dangling in space.
“It’s a long away down, isn’t it?” Basu said.
Oki nodded.
“What’s down there?” Oki asked, his eyes still tearing.
“Miles down are the old streets,” he said. “We don’t use them anymore, except for waste disposal. You can still see the streets in smaller towns, outside of California, where buildings are far apart and only thirty stories tall.”
“Thirty stories tall?” Oki laughed through his tears. “You’re making fun of me.”
“No,” Basu chuckled. “There are many buildings out there that are even shorter than that.”
Oki smiles. “I wish I could be on a building less than thirty stories high.”
“Why?” Basu said.
“So I could see the ground,” Oki said.
“There’s nothing great about seeing the ground,” Basu said.
“I don’t know,” Oki said. “I’ve never seen it before.”
The Morbidly Obese Ninja Page 3