I am sure that Tanya had the same sick feeling in the stomach that I had. I wanted to puke. This woman meant well, I think, but what she did, my God! Lord, forgive her. Both Tanya and I set our coffees down.
“So you are pilgrims? Religious folk? But why Rome?”
It was hard to speak or look at this woman, but I answered, “That is where the Lord has told me, us to go.”
“I see,” she said, still smiling.
“In fact, we should probably get moving along, we need to find gas on the way, and a place to stay for the night, down the road.” I said giving a side long glance to Tanya. Her head was slowing nodding yes. I wanted to get out of there quick, who knew what this woman was capable of.
“Oh, the Valero over around the corner still has gas, high test if you like. We used it to start the barn fires. I have a little hand pump that works well, let me lock up the office and I will head over with you.”
“I ah, well, we can…” I started.
“No, no trouble at all, it is what we do, it is why I am the best real estate company in the area, been voted number one for the last three years. I know that when you finish your pilgrimage you will come back here and buy. It is a nice place, the people are friendly and warm, great school system.”
After we gassed up and were ready to roll off we thanked her for the coffee and gas. As we climbed on to the Gold Wing, she gave us her business card.
“Remember me when you come back through, there are some great buys and I think I might be able to haggle a little reduction for you because sales have been off, it is a buyer’s market after all.”
We smiled the best we could and thanked her, then rode off; I am thinking we will not visit Fort Plain again. It was scary, this is a disturbed woman, and yet, to her, it was like everything was as it always was. But she killed her son…Lord, have mercy on her.
We rode out of town and along Route 5 for a couple of hours until we reached Beardsley Castle. It was a restaurant / inn that looked like an old Irish castle. We could have easily made Rome today, but after thinking about it we decided that this was a good place to stay the night. It was empty, and had been sacked so we had to settle for our own food supplies, but that was okay. Actually, the wine cellar was intact; we had a nice chardonnay with dinner, canned beans. I think chardonnay goes with beans.
Lance) Spent most of the day in bed, don’t want to move, I just listen to my favorite group, Sunny Day Real Estate. Their song ‘In The Circle’ just does it for where I am at right now. Someone has been knocking on my door, I think it is Cody, I don’t want to talk right now.
“Go Away!”
April 13th
(Matt) It is a rainy, miserable day, kind of cold and raw. Here at the castle it is dry, and well, we have decided that it would be a good day to just not go anywhere. We have food, and a fireplace with some wood and it appears to be safe. It gives us a good chance to sit and think, talk, and even read. They have a small library with some of the classics.
We talked over breakfast about what we have gotten out of it so far. The suffering thing was the biggie, letting go, and living in the present. But that opened up a discussion that has us starting to live in the future. How can we, as a group, move toward an easier life? What steps should we take to be better?
We figured that the idea of Your Ten Commandments was a good starting place. One God, using Your name in vain, false gods, adultery, steal, covet, false witness (gossip), honoring mom and dad are all pretty clear cut and easy.
That would in itself give us a code of ethics and conduct that would easily work, although we need to modify one of them. There was a couple that need adjustment. One was the “thou shall not kill”. It was the Christian writers of the bible that changed it from “Thou shall not murder” to “Thou shall not kill”. In the world we are in now we need to be able to kill, in some cases it was out of defense and self-preservation, and in others, it is killing something that is already dead.
The other is the no work on the Sabbath. But again that seems to be a Christian re-write. We will remember the Sabbath, and hold it sacred; with services honoring You. And I think that you will forgive us for the need to tend to the crops and our livelihood.
“That is a good start!” Tanya told me as we lingered over the warm coffee that we were able to make with some of the meager supplies we found that had been left behind.
“Yes, I think it is. But I think we need to expand a little. I think that we should add the Golden Rule for one thing.”
“Do unto others, yeah that kind of works in the group, but what about outsiders?” She asked.
“Well, until they prove otherwise, rule applies.”
“Makes sense, but it could be dangerous, remember the biker group.”
I thought about that for a moment, “True, but somewhere, somehow if we are going to move forward in rebuilding society, we’ll have to start somewhere and I think trying trust would be the good way.”
“I guess, I’m sorry, but what happened to me with them, the bikers, it is hard to let go of.” She added quietly.
“I understand, but we can’t change the past, only look to the future, it is not easy to let go of, and it still makes you suffer. Trust in the Lord.”
“I try, I try hard, just sometimes I am weak.”
“We are all weak, it is His will that makes us strong, and helps us move forward. It is our task to help those weaker than we are and make them strong.” I smiled at her.
We spent the rest of the day talking, and reading, and just living like almost normal people did before the meteor.
(Lance) Dammit, why won’t they leave me alone, I want to just sit here alone in the dark!
(Margo) Cody has failed so far, E is still hiding in his cabin. Del is getting really pissed and wants to kick the door in and drag his ass outside. Somehow the Major and Charlene have gotten wind of what is going on and they have talked to us about it. They are concerned that he might be, that he might hurt himself. If he is not over it by tomorrow evening, we are going to do what they call an intervention. I think it is a nice way of saying we all go over, kick in the door and drag his butt out.
Code is kind of bummed that he has not been able to get E to open up.
We’re all staying kind of close to camp today, it is raining and yucky. Nick has brightened my day at least with some fried rabbit with a kind of herb sauce. I’m amazed at the things that he and Grace have created for meals, and I’ll even grudgingly give them credit for the deer stews.
April 14th
(Matt) I came upon a book called the Dhammapada, it is an interesting piece that is attributed to the Buddha. I started reading it and found that it is about the ways to end suffering and be at peace with oneself. In some ways it is very similar to the Ten Commandments with the basic tenets. But it seems to break it down a little better.
The commandments are more a set of rules set in stone, oh, sorry about that. Anyway, the Path is more a guideline to be considered and taken at your own pace. It does not ask for blind faith but rather promotes self-discovery and change to a gentle awareness.
Now Lord, I am faced with an interesting challenge here, is the study of this path what you would consider a taking on of a false idol, or god? Or is it You, the One God showing me a different way of doing things that is acceptable.
Tanya and I talked about this today as we had our morning meal, and as we moved on toward Rome. I, we, need Your help here, this is a key issue, I would not call it a challenge to our faith, we will believe in Your word, but is Your word as written by the Christian or Muslim, or Buddhist man the only wisdom and way? Help us.
We rode through Little Falls, and covered only about 40 miles today, we would stop often along the route to explore, scavenge, and mostly talk about the Lord and some of the things in the Buddhist book. One of the first tenets of the path as it is called is that of Right View or Right Understanding. Itrelates to seeing the world and everything in it as it really is, not as we believe it to be or
want it to be. I think that this applies and does fit with what You, would have us know and understand.
When I say, “I think”, it is actually what Tanya and I have talked of, and like a good Jesuit, as I understand them, distilled as the answer based in the facts that are before us. So even in that regard we are following the first tenet of right view.
We arrived at a little B&B tonight, the Portabella Inn, it was empty, so we stayed. Along the main roads we have found that most living had left, probably to hide in the hills or away from the towns, cities and main drags. It makes sense since in the early days that is where the Changed would have been most prevalent. We also have seen no indication of Hunters, A’s or G’s on the road. But we have been watching, and make certain as we ride we wear our helmets. I am not sure what the Snell/ DOT ratings on them would do against the metal balls the Hunter’s shoot, but I think we would be able to take a hit or two.
We found some canned goods at the B&B and were able to have a warm meal, and again, luck was with us and we found a couple of bottles or Merlot. Perhaps not perfect with Spaghetti-O’s but it worked.
(Lance) The door again, can’t they just leave me alone?
(Margo) Well, E did not show up for breakfast, so Code may have misread him. He has a little time before the big bad wolves come to his door. Del wasn’t at breakfast either, and I know that this was because she is upset, and not a good time of the month for her to be upset.
Lucy and I took a run this morning; it was kind of different in that she ran beside me for a change. Wow, that was so cool.
Just after lunch there was a little get together in The Three’s office. The discussion was E, he has until 4:00 to get his act together or Ron and the Major are going knocking.
Anti-climactic, they knocked on the door, tried to get in and E told them to buzz off. They are gonna huddle again and decide the next move.
Wow, just wow, or better, Bang and a lot of yelling. Del kicked in the door at E’s cabin and the fight was on. She was screaming at him, we could all hear it. Some of us wanted to go help but Charlene said “Let it go”, and it did for about 45 minutes, then it got quiet.
April 15th
(Lance) Walk up call, Delaney got my attention last night, and it was not fun, or pretty. Once she got through the initial calling me an asshole and a selfish little jerk, I tried to explain what it was that had me where I was.
“I have failed the group, I have put them in danger and I let you, and myself down.” I explained.
“Stop, just stop, you have not let anyone down, you tried something and it didn’t work, how did that let me, or anyone else down. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING GOD, you asshole.”
“I, I’m not god, I am a dummy who had great plans and they turned to shit!”
“So because of that you hide under the covers in your fucking blanket fort like a 4 year old, and listen to shitty depressing music?”
“I, er”
“While your girlfriend and the rest of the camp is worried sick about you, that you might fucking kill yourself!”
“I, er”
“Listen Asshole, you got the best thing in the world standing right in front of you and all you can say is, “I, er”?
“I, er, wait, look, I love you, you mean more to me than anything, and I wanted to do something special for you, keep you safe, make sure that you live long and I FAILED!”
“You didn’t fail, you’ve done lots for me, and this camp, when we had to move, you made Peru safe again, before that you helped the Hinsdale people, helped them be safe, you have failed no-one!”
“I, er”
“One more “I, er” and I’m gonna punch you! You’ve got to pull your head out of your ass, stop the pity party and get your shit together. Your best friend knocks on your door to help you out and you send him away?”
“I. er” WHACK.
I stared at her a moment, she punched me, she actually punched me, and it hurt, a lot. I snapped, and tackled her and the fight was on. Well, it started as a fight, then a ‘say uncle’ tickle contest and then clothes started coming off.
I don’t know what it was, but it all changed, my life changed, the black was gone, the loneliness was gone, it was changed.
We made it to breakfast this morning, both had some bruises, and scratches, but we were there, and it was okay.
Note to self: clothes shopping, need to get a new look.
(Matt) Another quiet night, and I must admit, I could get used to this. We had kind of watery pancakes for breakfast; there were some syrup packets and honey. They also had a jar of instant coffee tucked away. I think that is something that the next travelers that visit the inn will not find.
Over breakfast we started to talk more about Buddhist thing. They have a part about Right Intention. Wow, this one is pretty obvious, it is Yourlaws,persistence and a passion for the journey, passion for surviving, and doing Your will. If one focuses in the moment, not the future or past, much of the negative goes away
I think that both Tanya and I are getting excited about the insights the prophet from the East is giving us. There is a kind of universality to his message that certainly fits into the works that Youhave shared with us Lord.
(Margo) E and Del joined us for breakfast this morning, E is different. I am not sure how I can describe it. He is not Captain Emo anymore. They are smiling, and happy, but look a little worse for the wear, he has a hand print on the side of his face. Wow, she must have really nailed him, but then she has some marks on her also.
E started, “I‘m sorry guys, I put you through a lot of shit of last few days and I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay E” said Code. “We understand, we all have those days”
“I, er”, started E and shot Del a fearful look, “Please call me Lance or Lan, Captain E is well, no more.”
She kind of chuckled at the look, and then said “Can we get you two to drive us into Hinsdale; we need to do a little shopping.”
“Sure, we can do that.” Code and I exchanged a confused glance.
We piled into the Coyote after breakfast, but before we could close the door, Lucy jumped in and put herself in between Code and me in the front seat, that was kind of weird.
We ended up getting Lance, (that is going to take some getting used to) some new clothes, he skipped the Hot Topics store and went the Hollister and A&F route. Well, I guess it is an improvement. Code and I hit the Topic though and I found some Dr. Who stuff and a Survey Corp sweatshirt from Attack on Titan. Actually, I got one each for the four of us. We are in a lot of ways the Scouts.
While we were walking through the mall, Lucy started to growl, she sensed the Zoms before we heard or saw them. We took the four out quickly, and quietly, Lance actually got one of them. Maybe there was the new kid on the block.
I gave Lucy a little treat I had in my pocket. I have been to keeping a few there to give her. “Good Girl”
April 16th
(Margo) It was a good day for running, and the usual suspects, plus one, started off. But it became pretty evident that some of us were going to be at a quicker pace than others and before the first mile was done we had three groups of runners. Code and I were out front, then Chels and Tay were chugging along, and although she could have kept up with us, Del stayed back with Lance. Hey, he was trying, and that is good.
Karen has pretty much recovered from her head shot. There is still an ugly scar where her eye was, but things have pretty much healed up and she seems to have not suffered major brain trauma, although she does seem to get stuck on a word every once and again. It frustrates her, and I am pretty sure that I can understand that. She is lucky to be with us, and Ron has been so good to her.
I guess it is kind of interesting that there are sub-groups forming, and it seems to be kind of age related. We have my group, The Scouts (Del, Code, Lance, and, to a lesser degree, Tay and Chels), there is Warriors,( Ron / Fred /Karen /Jan,) Mark, Michelle, Stephen, and Heather hang mostly with that group also. There is the Elders,
(Teckla, Nick, Grace, The Major, Charlene) and the Burlington folks, (LJ, Langley, Paula, Rick and Bernie). The Burlington group associates mostly with Warriors. And finally there is Matt and Tanya, but they’re sort of on their own but also interact with the entire group.
There is no real issue with the groups other than an occasional friendly rivalry. We are all on the same page, survive and take care of what we need to take care of. Sometimes the Warriors will go out and do some hunting, and if they come back with food, awesome, but most times we will bring back the dinner. It is all about working together.
(Lance) Running sucks! I am going to feel it tomorrow; I remember how much I hated gym class. I felt like a slug out there running with Code and the crew, but it had to be done. Del was so good about hanging back with me. I so appreciate it. It was nice to have support, not like when I was a kid and my mom used to make comments like “What are you saving it for, the fifth lap?” when I ran track and it was a 4 lap race. It is interesting how the past sticks with us.
I spent some time checking radiation levels again today, it is not getting better. I shared the data with Major Barkley, who shared it with The Three. It may be a case where we will have to move if it continues.
We have been trying to contact the Pittsburgh to see what has been going on or what news they have, but we have been unsuccessful, they may be on a deep run or something. We have heard next to nothing on the radios of late. But then I have not really been listening much, while I was hiding in Blanket Fort Emo.
(Matt) Since the early days of the Event, we, as a group, have moved along and faced many difficulties. Outside of the group, in the early days, we met positive people like Captain Lewis or Keith and negative people, like the bikers, Brother Gabriel. In dealing with them there were communications things that made the difference in how those dealings turned out.
In looking back, could we have spoken with them differently to change the outcome, in the case of the bikers or Brother Gabriel, a way that would have prevented the violence? I don’t know.
The Event Series (Book 2): The Gospel According to Matthew, Margo & Lance Page 11